A girl contacted me after midnight on New Years Eve to invite me out. We'd only met once before, I was totally shocked.

We talked a bunch and had a good time.

We had a conversation over text today, and at one point I asked if she wanted to meet again sometime. She totally ignored it.
We talked some more and I asked directly if she was free and wanted to meet tomorrow, at which point she paused for a long time, explained she was busy, and then asked when I was free next.

I was convinced she was interested in me romantically, but now I'm not so sure. Am I just overthinking this?

Should I go to war and become an instrument of mass murder, or desperately plead my ex to get with me? I could do either, it's really just down to fucking or fighting. One of the instincts has to win, I don't want it to be both.

Which do I choose?

Hey /adv/

So me and my gf had protected sex but her period is delayed since the 25/12/15. She claims she had periodic cramps that come and go but still not bleeding yet. Will be taking a pregnancy test tmr. If its a positive result, what is the best solution for an egg that have been fertilized for at least a week old ?

>tl;dr gf gets pregnant, wants abortion for less than a week. whats the best solution ?

>>16633364
Yo man like, coast. It's all good, you're fine, she likes you, you know you like her, it's good. Just chill, give her time! Girls need time and shit they're like clocks. Think about it this way, if you don't fuck with the clock it'll cuckoo on it's own.

Cuckoo being blow jobs.

Don't fuck with the clock.

>>16633364
You are probably over thinking it.

If you guys haven't spent much time together, she might be wanting to take it slow/at her own pace, as getting-to-know-each-other-phase, but you being frank with wanting to spend more time together is nothing wrong either. Spend more time with each other and don't try to read too much into it.

>>16633373
Have the baby and give it up for adoption, better that than any of you all fucking up each other's lives before any off them begin you fuckin' nazi scum.

Actually I changed my mind, abort it.

>>16633370
Why do you feel like you have to confine yourself to those two options?

I'd personally suggest not to join the army regardless of what you are doing. As for your situation with ex, I'd have to ask more details to give an advice of any value.

>>16633373
If you are looking for ways of abortion, google would probably help you more, but my personal advice would be is to not to go with abortion.

Yet if you do it for whatever reason, make sure it doesn't happen again, for what you 'abort' is a living being.

>>16633387
Restrain from from posting if you are not going to give an advice of good-will, or if you are going to post insults, anon.

So, someone took my facebook photos and put them on a porn website. They're not sexual photographs at all. I contacted the website and sent them the DMCA takedown letter but they seem to be ignoring my emails. This has been going on since early December and I'm tired of it. I'm 90% sure I know who is behind it. Would it be a bad idea to contact them directly and confront them?

>>16633334
First off, thank you for doing this. You really gave me sound advice a couple of weeks ago. Alright, here goes:

I've been on a few dates with a girl, and we both had a good time on all of them. At first, she was a bit hesitant about her feelings (I'm bad at initiating so things hadn't really escalated yet), but after the last date she seems much more into me, more enthusiastic when we text, etc...

So tomorrow we're going on another date, and I'm looking to seal the deal here. We're meeting up pretty early so we'll probably spend the better part of the day together, and I'm a bit conflicted on when to make a move. On the one hand, I don't want to wait for the goodbye-kiss-maneuvre (I fucked that up before), so ideally I'd make my move pretty early in the date.

On the other hand, I'm not ready for things to escalate towards sex (I'm a virgin, and I want to build some more mutual trust and attraction before I tell her this), and since we'll probably spend the evening at her place, this seems like a dangerous line to walk.

She doesn't know all that much about me yet, and I don't want to blow this, but I also want to think long-term here.

So what do you think? Is it okay if I initiate pretty soon into the date? Can I keep it to kissing/making out without losing my face or ruining the rest of the date? Any other specific pointers?

Feel free to ask further questions.

>>16633713
That is probably the best idea, contact that person.

When you speak to him/her, make sure you are not aggressive, and make sure you don't insult or get into a heated argument, kindly ask that person to forgive you if you've done something to offend them and ask for that person to stop putting your images on those websites. If you do this from your heart I'm fairly sure that person will oblige.

Hello old respectable Asian man.

Happy new year.

How do i become better in sex? See i have a girlfriend and we just had sex a couple of times, the first time was great, the following ones were awful, they were a dissaster...
So tell me, i know the basics about oral sex and giving her pleasure with my hand, but she wants my dick, and i have ttouble with my time. Thanks a lot adv

>>16633373
I'm assuming your taking one of those early pregnancy tests as usually their only accurate 2 weeks after a missed period. A lot of early pregnancies end in miscarriage anyway, but as long as she's less than 9 weeks pregnant she can get a medical aboortion (two pills) from a doctor/hospital depending where you live.

I found parsley tea worked for me when I wanted a shorter period, early, I know it can be used as an abortive measure too and simple and safe as its all ingredients that you can get at a supermarket.

>>16633785
Okay. What is a good way of phrasing this? It's especially difficult because this person is doing this to multiple women & girls. I know that he doesn't personally know any of us and this is probably some weird kind of fetish.

>>16633765
By sealing the deal, if you mean to open up and tell her about your feelings and how much you like her, you can do that any time you feel like it.

If you talk about getting more intimate and kissing her, go with your feelings. This is the kind of thing you can't pinpoint a timeframe on, the feeling has to be "in the air" so to speak, but whenever you feel close to her and you feel she feels the same way you do, you can go for the move. Don't worry about messing it up or making a big deal out of it, if it's in your heart you can go for it early in the date or whenever you feel like it.

And it's totally okay, if more natural and logical, to take things slow, you can just talk to her about it. Tell her you would like to get to know her better before you go further, just like you typed it here. Frankness and saying what's in your heart is the way to go, she will appreciate it as well.

>>16633831
Man, I can't get over how zen you are. Thank you, anon.

>>16633788
That's a bit vague and I'm not sure if I want to know further about it, but here's a more general advice:

Stop watching porn, stop masturbating, and drop whatever "techniques" you may have picked up from watching porn. Kiss her whole body, show attention to her every part, take things slow, women enjoy the foreplay just as much, and so should you. As cheesy as this may sound, instead of lust let your love dicatate your movements. If you are having trouble lasting for a long time, try looking up "kegel exercises", and don't make a big deal out of it. And I mean it, don't make it a big deal, don't focus on it, don't think about it, and with understanding, it will cure itself faster.

>>16633786
I'm sure that respectable old asian man that I'm using his picture of is happy somewhere, having received your good wishes.

Happy new year as well anon.

>>16633803
That is truly difficult, for I assumed you had a personal relationship and knew that person.

What information do you have on this guy? Are you able to speak to him face to face, or is it someone that gathers pictures online with no real way to contact him? Has anyone taken action before, as he has been doing this to multiple people?

The thing that comes to my mind is to have him sit infront of you and explain him what he's doing and how it damages you and how emotionally bothersome it is to have your pictures up on those websites and then to kindly ask him to stop, but if you can't contact him and if that person has a mental disorder that prevents him from sympathizing with others, I'm not sure what could be done.

>>16633843
Thank you as well, Godspeed anon.

>>16633908
He made a fake Facebook account to contact friends of mine and send them sexually aggressive messages. We snooped on the fake account and found a phone number attached to it. As it turns out, it was the number of a man who lived near me but has since moved country.

He sent a friend of mine a screenshot of her pictures on a porn website. After spending some time on the website, we found pictures not just of her, but of other friends of hers and then also pictures of me.

I don't know if anyone has taken action against this man before, but I would not be surprised from seeing how sloppily he has covered his tracks and the huge amount of women he has collected pictures of and posted on this website.

I could contact him through Facebook, message him perhaps, but as he lives in a different country, I can't sit with him. I'm so tired of this and there doesn't seem to be anywhere I can turn to for help anymore.

This cute 17 year old girl who comes into my work a lot has had a huge crush on me for nearly a year at this point. (I'm 21) 17 is legal in my state so we're good there but is it really worth asking? She's cute, kind of funny, and has things she's passionate about, but I'm worried about the maturity barrier and the fact that she's still in high school, which would make it difficult to relate to each other.

>>16633946
I think your best chance lies with sending that guy a message about how wrong what he's doing is and kindly asking him to stop.

There are also agencies that deal with attacks on identity and personal image on the internet, but I've only heard about that they exist, and it may cost you a bit, but as a last resort you can look into these.

>>16633947
If you like her and want to build a relationship with her, go for it. But while on the grandscale 4 years of difference isn't much, since she's at an age where she's still maturing and her personality is starting to fall in to place, you should take things slow.

If you like her that much you should be able to take things slow, and see if you both still feel that way in a year or so, in the meanwhile you can spend more time with her and get to know her.

There's this girl I briefly dated, but eventually stayed friends with. I still kind of have feelings for her, but that's not the point. We used to be pretty close, but she has been giving me nothing but short and serious answers lately. I ignored it because she does have a lot on her mind and she does have a somewhat unique social approach because of mild autism. Thing is, it's not changing for the better. I cut contact and put some space between us or a short while because I thought I was a bother to her, and she didn't bother staying in touch. Got back in touch myself, and she only gave me short answers again.
Most recently I asked her how an event went. We had discussed it earlier and it was one of the few topics that she said more than a few words about. So I wanted to check up on how it went for her. Sent her a message and she read it pretty soon after, but the response never came. She may not always have been enthusiastic in her responses, but she always got back reasonably fast, especially if it's a direct question. Now it's been a little over a full day, she dropped by in the texting app several times, but she still didn't bother giving an answer. Maybe she just forgot to send her response, but there's been too much disrespect from her end for me to buy that.

I'm wondering if I should get the hint already. Starting next week I'll see her regularly again, but I don't know how to act towards her if she's going to be this cold and ignoring. Do I avoid her? Should I pretend nothing's wrong and act normal to her, even though "normally" we hang together a lot throughout the day?

>>16634527
I'm not OP, but you should definitely give her some space until you see her in person at least.

>>16634527
>>16634530

Forgot to add, I'd say just be something between polite and friendly to her. Don't make it awkward, ask her how she's doing.

What should I do with my life?
Been having this small urge to start something big. I've considered starting a YouTube channel. I'm just not to sure on what content to upload. I've considered vlogging, but I don't consider my life to be as adventurist enough for others to watch.
I do a bit of photography here and there and conscidered making an Instagram full of my work, but Im not really to good at building an audience. I'm 19. A freshman in college this year. I had a recent break up last year around September, out of a four year relationship. I dipped my toes in the water here and there for the rest of 2015. I learned about myself, met a few girls, went some events. But, I never really found "me" enough to figure out what it is that "I do"

I have always found photography fun. Been wanting to do photo shoots with an actual model. Problem is, I have my iPhone 6 plus as a camera. Pretty great quality and my pictures are decent. I just feel I won't be taken seriously by my models if I pull out my iPhone 6 and start taking pics.
What should I do with my life?
Any good ideas for a YouTube channel would help. Is vlogging even popular still? I know it use to be a big thing back in the day. Recommendations on how to get my channel out there?

I do well in school. But I always put things off. I have two essays to write due Monday, barely started one. How can I stop procrastinating? I mean fuck, I'm in bed on 4chan instead of working. I feel like shit about this. I'll report back after I finish an essay. Any advice towards ending procrastination will be greatly appreciated

>>16634649
You don't need a chinese old man

You need Shia

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>>16634527
Do not ignore her, do not bear ill feelings for her, give her your greetings and then let her communicate with you if she wants.

Greet her when you see her face to face, you can even ask a small question and chat for a minute if you so wish, but beyond that give her all the space and let her do what she wants.

>>16634536
This is good advice.

>>16634579
Don't think about what's popular or not, don't focus on if it'll "work" or not, don't worry about the equipment and the obstacles and so on so forth.

The important thing here is that you sit down, and think: "What do I truly want to do with my life?"

Ask this question free from all the worries, free from doubts, focus and think, what do you actually want to do? It can be photography, it can be anything related to reaching great audiences, it can be taking care of pandas, it can be studying caves, it can be just helping people, anything. Let it come from your heart, and let it be free from greed and extensive earthly desires, and you'll have a path infront of you that you'll love to walk on with no second thoughts.

>>16634649
Break your daily rituals. The most important thing is how you start the day, and how early you start working on what should be done.

When you wake up, don't reach for your phone, don't open up your PC, have in front of you a list of things you should be doing for the day and start working on it, the first thing, earliest as possible with no distractions.

At frist make the list small, so small that a single thing on the list could be done in 5 minutes. Like simply preparing your desk for the essay to be written, or putting aside 5 minutes to think about the draft of the first page etc. And for every item you complete, reward yourself with a thing you enjoy doing, relative to the amount of time you've spent completing your to-do list.

And the strongest of all, build your willpower, train your will to the point that the second you know something must be done you'll start doing it.

>>16634649
Thanks. Just finished first "essay". Will start to develop my willpower. Anything you guys have done that's helped?

>>16634784
if the time is right i masturbate in between tasks to encourage myself

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>>16634795
This is horrible advice.

Masturbation is an act that drains you of your energy and brings you nothing positive but a short lived fleshly pleasure.

>>16633334
How can i develop my willpower and over come my lazyness and gluttony?

>>16634801
i supposed this is true. but it helped me a few times

I miss a person who never did any good for me. He laughed at me, abused me and obviously didn't care about me. But I still dream that he would take me back and fall in love with me. I haven't been able to even like anyone else since that.

How do I get over it? How do I stop wanting a person who never even wanted me in the first place?

Best friend was being bitchy to me on my birthday and I haven't really talked to her since, just little texts here and there. I'm not really mad anymore, but basically she started going on about how I ignore her a lot, which I really don't, and at one point in the night stormed off to go home, I guess? And when she started walking back and saw me she yelled at me that I was making it all about me.

She was also not feeling well, probably drunk, and I was sober but that shit made me cry. Should I think anything of it, like that maybe I am selfish? (I really feel I did a lot for her that day, and all of the ideas for what I wanted to do kept getting shot down)

I don't even know if I care to bring it up, but there's a few other things, like how guys will hit on her and ignore me, then find out she's married and hit on me, and she acts like it's nothing or invites the attention.

Feels like guys go to me to try and get closer to her sometimes and that annoys me, but not enough for me to start a big scene like that.

I've been living downtown for two years, working at a software company, building out all sorts of cool projects, gaining experience and making a lot of money. But I'm really shy and don't really get out of the apartment at all outside of work, so I haven't really been out to see the city or even the neighborhood at all. Also haven't had friends in well over a decade. How can I get out of this rut and become more sociable?

>>16634806
Like with everything else, practice.

Set a goal and stick to it for the timeframe you've set it on yourself. Honor the free will and the power of choice God has given you and say "I am going to do this" and do it.

Here's a great practice for you, both for building willpower and over coming your gluttony: fasting. Fasting, if you haven't heard of it or if english isn't your first language, is not eating and in some cases not drinking for a period amount of time. What I want for you, as a practice is to stop eating at 9PM today, or tommorow, and the following day to eat nothing at all. After the day you've done a full day fast, you should start your morning with fruit-juice or a very light breakfast, and then gradually you can get back to eating full meals as the day goes on.

A thing that will help you with fasting is to keep in mind that fasting is not only beneficial for your mind and your soul, but it also detoxes your body. Remember this whenever you feel the hunger hit you and acknowledge it as a good thing.

>>16634808
I can understand that it might have encouraged you, as it is something you enjoy doing, but masturbation is not constructive, it's destructive.

If you replace it with something constructive, you're golden.

>>16634830
thank you i'll start right away

My wife and I only piss each other off, but together 15 years. No kids. I would like to leave, but can't face the turmoil. I think she would be lost.

>>16634813
Do you actually feel that way? Do you actually think that he didn't care about you or is there a lingering feeling that he cared and liked you, even just a little bit?

Think about if your feelings are true, and think if they are unfounded or not and if there's something you can do about it.

But if it is as you've said, then make sure that you yourself understand that you have no reason to be thinking about this person, and let time heal your wounds.

>>16634823
Talk to her about it. Exactly the things you've typed here, ask her to put aside a few hours for you and sit down and heave a heart-to-heart talk with her about it. Tell her all your concerns, all your feelings about how she has hurt you and how you feel about it all.

If she is truly your friend, she will listen and she will understand, she will even appreciate it. Talk to her.

>>16634826
Courses! Courses are great for socializing and making new friends. Whatever you are interested about, there's a course about it, and even beyond that you can just pick ones that sound interesting to you.

Language courses, watercolor courses, courses/clubs about animals, instruments, building, whatever you can think of. Courses are amazing because you are at a place with other people with a shared interest, and you are basically forced to interract with each other. Many friendships to be had.

Any charity work/ event is great. Not only will you help and interract with a lot of people and that they'll be glad to have you there, the type of people you'll meet there will be of sincerity and good will for the most part.

Anywhere where people are. Go and talk to people, people love being talked to.

>>16633334
> 23yo
> former shut in video game addict
> no education
> can rely only on myself, parents still owe me borrowed money
> no close friends, only acquaintances from work and a martial arts club
> kissless virgin
> problems with studying, focus, hearing comprehension, likely caused by ADHD, need money to get diagnosed
> extremely sensitive, thin skinned
> minimum wage job in a loud place that exhausts me quickly
> renting a room in a house with leaking roof, should've changed it long ago
> need money to fix teeth
> need money to fix mostly blocked nasal septum
> need money to fix very short frenulum and phimosis
> no health insurance, need money to get it
> old shitty clothes
> restless sleeping for 10 hours
> 2 meals per day

I am sick of trying to fix my life. Every time I put something behing me, two other issues appear. Why does my life always has to be a mess? What can I do to change this never-ending fixing?

>>16634843
A little vague there, why do you annoy each other?
Have you tried to do something about it? Or at the very least, your part of it?
Is not having kids by choice or by nature? Do you wish to have kids?
Do you love your wife? Does your wife love you?
What is the actual problem with your marriage?

>>16634897
Pray.

Yes I'm going to ask you to pray, not kidding. If it doesn't work, I am here every week and you can throw it at my face and call me a religious nutjob if you so wish, but this I want from you: Pray like so "God, please ease me with my burdens and help me live a fuller life, and I promise to read your word, The Holy Bible".

Does reading a few pages of a book a day for a much better life sound like a good deal to you? It is true that I am assuming that you haven't already read the Bible, but my gut feeling says so. Say this prayer from your heart and you will find your burdens much lighter this I guarantee you. What you have to lose here is at most 15 seconds and maybe you'll feel like an idiot if you are not religious and associate it with lack of intelligence, but truly, you don't have much to lose.

Next thing to do is to look for another job, you can only go higher from here. Look for a job while you are still in your current one, I understand that it is not easy, but deal with this period of time painstakingly and you will have brighter days to look forward to.

Make an effort to talk to people. Where ever there are people, just talk to them, at your job, at a park, approach someone and make small talk, ask them questions. Not only people love talking and being asked questions, but sometimes just a minute of talk with someone can brighten your whole day, even a week. You can practice this if you like by going to a park and talking to elderly people.

What's the secret to life? Is there a sentence that explains life and can make a person happy to live it? It feels pointless to me but I want to live a happy life regardless.

>>16634869
Okay, thank you! That was my plan when I was still caught up in the emotion of it all, and I can't stand talking things out when I'm still angry/drunk, you know? I will make time to tell her "look, what you said that night really hurt my feelings. I'm sure it was a one off, but I'd never say or do anything I thought would hurt you, especially on a day that means so much."

I guess the bitch of it is I've seen her through a few panic attacks, a spell where she was straying from her marriage, and all sorts of shit, so when I want just one night to go well it's frustrating to have this happen.

Crap, in venting I'm reiterating and saying more things I should say to her. And she just texted me that her phone stopped working, this isn't such a huge deal!
Thank you so much for your advice!!

>>16634985
Love. We are here to love others and receive love, this is in our nature and this is all everyone truly wants

And love comes from God. Once you understand this a door will open and there will be a lot to study, a lot to feel, a lot to understand, and you'll be glad to do it.

How can I make friends if school/work enviorenment isn't a good option for me?

>>16634997
Be a good friend and be there for her, and ask her the same, Godspeed.

>>16634999
While I don't believe in God, maybe you're right about the love part. I've been much more down since I stopped having friends, and my life turned into a hateful, skeptical clusterfuck. Maybe I need some friends. How the fuck do I get friends.

>>16635003
Courses! I talked about courses a bit above, I talk about courses almost everytime I make these threads, they are that great for making friends and socializing and meeting new people. Sign up for a course about something you are into, or take one that sounds interesting to you, and behold, you are in an envoriment with other people with common interests, something to do, and at the same time you are forced to interract with each other.

And to quote from >>16634869

>Any charity work/event you can sign up for. Not only will you help and interract with a lot of people and that they'll be glad to have you there, the type of people you'll meet there will be of sincerity and good will for the most part.

>Anywhere where people are. Go and talk to people, people love being talked to.

How do I get rid of my humanity?

>>16635032
If you are of good will and willing to love and receive love, and do good deeds, God will find you, I didn't believe in God for many years myself.

You can read the post about courses below if you'd like advice on making friends.

>>16635039
Believe me, and I do mean believe me when I say, this is not what you want.

>>16635070
But society is hard.

>>16635106
Don't even joke about it, the world is already attempting to snatch our humanity at the first given chance, don't do it willingly.

Tell me about your hardships, and maybe I can help?

>>16634977
I already have developed something close to my own personal faith. Praying to the Christian God and reading the Bible would feel wrong.

Would you suggest that if I have a personal faith, I should go further and develop personal prayers and rituals to ease my burden?

And yes, finding a better job seems to be a priority, considering all the problems with money.

>>16635124
Well, I want to focus on building my career and dedicate my life to the arts, but I waste too much time thinking about my weak social status and my lack of a girlfriend, and I'm full of hesitation and anxiety in the workplace mostly because I don't like offending other people. These things feel like they're getting in the way, and I don't feel like I have enough energy to try and somehow integrate them with my other interests and maintain everything all at once. Cutting off my desire to be considerate and humble and my wanting of human affection seems the better route.

>>16633334
Thanks, o wise /adv/ man

So I'm seeing this girl, and I love her a ton. We're really involved in each other's lives. We've both got pretty serious medical conditions--I've got major depression, she has spinal fractures, and both of us have a collagen disorder (hers is definitely Ehlers-Danlos type III, and mine presents exactly like hers) that causes some pretty constant joint pain. We've overcome even more in our pasts--I had to beat pure O-OCD by myself because of medically neglectful parents, and she's a survivor of sexual abuse.

We've both spent a lot of time seriously impaired because neither of us were taking medication--I wanted to die like every day for 6 or 7 years, and her pain is so bad she needs to use a wheelchair. At the moment, we've agreed to put each other on the backburner while we shore up our medical problems. To that end, I'm in therapy (physical and psychological), taking SSRIs, and actively seeking a diagnosis so I can get on a pain medication that works for me.

I'm not worried about me doing everything possible to function in everyday society--I've spent long enough suffering, and to be quite honest I had no idea how bad I was.

What I'm really worried about is her. She's historically been completely unwilling to go on any kind of opioids, no matter how weak, and she hasn't done her research in terms of what helps other EDS patients out (I was the one to turn her onto orthopedics and the one to turn her onto cannabinoid-based pain relief, which she refuses to investigate further because it's illegal in our state). It's gotten to the point to where I really, really fucking hate the power scooter she uses--not because it doesn't help her (it does), but because it represents an emotional failure to really address some profound and crippling issues.

I'm gonna continue this below with the actual questions:

>>16634894
I've tried flight school in the past, and tried volunteering at a soup kitchen a few times. Never really talked to anyone while I was there. Always felt like I was a burden that no one wanted to really hang around even if I was paying them, and they probably noticed this and reacted accordingly. That was about a year ago.
Even when I travel back home to visit family I'm usually just kind-of there in the background, and can't imagine my siblings / parents / etc. are all that thrilled to have me around.

I feel as if I missed out on a lot of social experience and skills that everyone else kind-of mastered as kids, but more than that, I don't really have anything to offer to anyone anyway.

>>16635137
No, I ask of you to pray to our one and true God, the creator and our heavenly father Yahweh.

I understand that if you have other beliefs this may feel like a betrayal, but please consider that it is possible for you to be on the wrong path, and your previous conceptions of God may be misplaced.

I know this is further babbling for the non-believer, but I am fairly certain that your own personal faith that is seperate from our true God is the reason for your current life style. And please don't misunderstand, it isn't God doing this to you, it is you choosing to leave his protection that may cause things not to go well for you.

A very simple thing I ask of you, and here I am giving you my word for it that it will work. Say that very simple prayer, from your heart, and keep your promise of reading the Holy Bible as your burdens ease, and I will pray for you so that when you pray may God grant it to you.

You have nothing to lose and at the very least you'll make some anon in front of a happy. Please consider.

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I have Sickle Cell Anemia. It's a genetic disorder that affects my blood. Long story short, people with the disease don't really live into old age. There used to be a time when people with it didn't make it into their teens now adays the average male patient can make it to their 40's.

What I'm getting is that stress is a big factor(besides taking care of your body, regular checkups) that affects people with SS. I'm not good at managing stress, to worrying about how much money I have in my account to why my girlfriend isn't talking to me as much as she did at the start of our relationship. I'm constantly finding myself besieged with unhealthy emotions about certain things.

My question is, how do I deal? how do I become such a rock that stress just bounces off of me?

Thanks.

>>16635178
So I guess I'm looking for a 3-parter:
1) is it wrong to see her historical approach to her health as a huge red flag, and a constitutive deal-breaker? It'd be hypocritical of me to refuse to date someone with chronic pain and a history of mental illness, because that's literally me--but I've also seen what happens when someone doesn't deal with their medical shit with my parents, and I've watched chronic pain WRECK my dad's life and my mom's untreated anxiety wreck their marriage.
2) I feel pretty guilty about really hating something that helps her out a lot. If she had arthrogryposis or cerebral palsy or something like that where the wheelchair was the best and most effective medicine available, I don't think I'd feel this way, but knowing that the chair enables her to keep from really seeking more effective treatment makes me really hate it. Is there a way for me to reassess or feel differently about her using it? I really want to feel more positive about her use of it, but I see it more as holding her back from making progress on her emotional hangups than letting her go about her day.
3) I really love this girl and don't want to break up with her, but I'm also unwilling to put myself through what my dad (and my granddad, and my uncle, and my ex's dad) went through and get in a serious long-term thing with someone who refuses to address her medical issues, because that only ends in heartbreak. Any tips for dealing with difficult realities or decisions?

>>16635176
You cannot and shall not cut away being considerate, being humble and human affection. This is your nature and these are blessings upon you, cherish them.

What you need to get rid of is hesitation and anxiety, there's much joy and love to be had when you are humble, considerate and caring for others and wanting love in return.

Now let's look at some of the reasons, weak social status? What does weak social status even mean, not having friends? Others not thinking highly of you? Not having a girlfriend? Not being "successful"? Do not focus on these, do not think about these, do not make a big deal about these for they mean nothing. You can always make friends, you can find someone you'll truly love and receive it back, you can always succeed at what you wish to do.

If you focus on the made up negatives that aren't even there, you'll burden yourself with nothing and feel drained. Cut them out as they come to your mind in an instant.

And people are people, just like you. You are a decent human being and you will not be offending people by interracting with them, all you are doing is stopping yourself from being happy and being at peace, and making others happy, by choosing to burden yourself with baseless anxiety and negativeness.

Embrace your humanity, and with understanding you will find peace.

What's good /adv/?

How the fuck do I stop being an autismo? I want a qt gf, but my personality is much like the guy house in house.

>>16635059
>God will find you
I wish it happened like that. I used to be a Muslim (pls don't hate) but I grew out of the religion. Never was really into the whole god thing, but who knows.

>You can read the post about courses below if you'd like advice on making friends.
That's actually a great way. There are some languages I'd like to learn, maybe I can do so in a course.

I've been dating a girl for a little over a year, but I want to end the relationship. Her birthday is on the 27th of this month. I want to cause as little pain as possible. Should I wait until after, or do it now while I can?

>>16635178
>>16635223
If you truly love her, be there for her. I can totally understand your frustration at her lack of interest in research, but don't blame her for not wanting to take opioids.

Treat power scooter as a passing thing that eases her pain for the time being as you both research and work on your way to cure yourselves.

Only consider leaving her if she seems somehow comfortable in her diseased condition and unwilling to find a cure, but on all other accounts be there for her and encourage her. I understand that it is definitely not easy considering your own situation, but this is the noble and the right thing to do.

>>16635183
You are not a burden. Carve this into your mind if you must, the second it enters your brain remind yourself: you are not a burden.

You are only stopping yourself from being happy and making others happy through your interraction.

"Social skills" and talking to people is not something to master, it is natural and everyone has it in them, there's no real mastering besides learning to be yourself, but you can only forget, but good news remembering it back is very ease and quick.

What you are to do: understand, emphasis on understand, that you are no burden. There's a lot you can give to other people and a lot you can receive from others, just let it happen. Talk to others and make it a common thing where you do it everywhere the second it comes to your mind.

You want to practice it to get your natural skills back? Talk to old people at a park. People in general love being talked to and love getting asked questions, but elderly people love it on another level. Go talk to them, make small chat, ask them questions about anything, they'll be thankful. And with this you will receive the understanding that communication and interraction is no big deal, and this you can do with everyone and not just elderly people at a park. Work for it for a little while and then it will be natural for you.

I'm out looking for a job. Due to mostly failing my finals, I only have half an education this year, so working on the side is a good idea for me. A mandatory idea, even. I've been freeloading all my life with minimal expenses, but I want to break out of my shell and stop mooching. Can't do that with what I've got, though.

Thing is, I'm 23. I have zero experience and zero skills. Wherever I go, I'm discouraged from even trying because there's no reason an employer wouldn't pick a 16 year-old over me. The only way we differ is in minimum wage, which gives me the shit end of the stick because I'm older and legally 'deserve' a higher wage.
Furthermore, I'm too anxious to actually make a move when I see something that would suit me. I have no value. I have nothing to offer to anyone. The only interview question I'd be able to answer adequately is "name your weak points". There's no way for me to actually learn needed skills, because that costs money and that's what I'm trying to get to begin with. It's a catch-22.

How do I grow to a more acceptable level, to the point where I can successfully get and hold down a decent job?

>>16635280
I know opioids are super spooky, but I've also seen the future of not taking them and it's a fucking nightmare. Her EDS wasn't inherited (random mutations fucking people up again), but mine was, and I've seen how bad it gets--to be honest, my dad should be using a power scooter too, and definitely my grandad.

We were both pretty comfortable in our suffering until the other person was like "hell no I'm not being with someone who treats themselves like this forever" pretty much simultaneously. I think we're both taking making changes for the better really seriously, but I also know she's stubborn to a fault--she could just as easily go "Fuck that, I've found my pain recipe and it might not work the best but I chose it so deal with it" as "I'm done suffering too, and I'm going to take pain meds that work".

(point of contention--there's no cure for EDS, but there are phenomenal treatments. Literally everyone I know or have read about who has it save my family and her is on some kind of daily opioid or cannabinoid, the first because they're dumb and the second because she's stubborn.)

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I will reply to posts below this tommorow, if there are any, thank you for posting.

>>16635331
If you're just trying to get a job, I think the easiest way is to find a connection through friends and families. Ask them for if there are potential job openings.

>>16635358
I should also mention this will be only good while you finish your education.

>>16635221
Understand your condition and come to terms with it. Understand that we will all die at a certain point and that you may die earlier than some. Understand that it is not an easy situation and it is to a degree normal to have these feelings and don't be hard on yourself. Find your inner peace and don't let outer, worldly issues affect you.

You may say this is all fine and dandy, but how? Love yourself, as cheesy as it may sound, put time aside just to sit down and to love yourself. Tell yourself it's OK whenever negative thoughts hit you, just cut them out the second they enter and focus on finding peace.

Eat healthy, I know you've probably heard of this already, but have a diet based on fruit and raw vegetables.

Fast. Fasting not only helps with your mental strength and finding your inner peace, but it also helps with Sickle Cell Anemia. I'm talking about not eating part, drink whenever it is recommended of you/whenever you feel thirsty, but fasting is important and it cures and detoxes mankind of disease that reside down to the cellular level where no other method can.

Don't be a rock, you are not a rock. Stay strong and practice loving yourself, every day. I will pray for you so that you may find your peace, and when you fast that it is easy on you and that you may be rid of your disease, may God be with you.

>>16635248
Read a bit of the above posts, I think you may find some useful advice there.

In short: Interract with others, show others attention, spread the love.

>>16635263
Why would I hate you? True Christians and true Muslims are brothers, and we are both taught not to hate anyone.

Please don't give up your search on finding God, visit a small local church on a Sunday morning if you can one day.

>>16635264
If you are set on wanting to end the relationship, the earlier you do the better.

>>16635331
You can get the job that would suite you, a job you'd think decent, right away and the only thing you need to do is to change your mindset.

Why would you ever think you have no value? You have nothing to offer to anyone? These are such destructive thoughts and the thing about these is, these are not true, they are straight up nonsense that you torture yourself with.

Here you are wanting and striving to improve with a clean, cohesive, well written post, and you are telling me you are no better than a 16 year-older? You have already a lot more to offer than the average person covering all ages, why do you torture yourself with such negative thoughts? The first thing you are to make a habit of is, whenever these baseless nonsensical thoughts enter your mind, cast them out. They are nothing but a burden upon you.

Secondly, apply for jobs that you like, and only the ones that you like, and go to interviews. Don't give up, don't yield, sit through them one by one, KNOWING you would be an asset to whatever you are applying and they would be glad to have you there.

Show them you are interested, show them you are willing and want to work this job. Employers value this above all others. Be frank with you not having an experience on the field but make sure they understand that you are willing to learn and wanting to work there with your heart. Base your logic on understanding rather than groundless, burdening, nonsensical self pity and you are good to go. I would be glad to have you working for me.

>>16635404
>Why would I hate you?
I didn't actually expect you to, it's more of a joke. Although things have been tense between Muslims and the western world as a whole lately.

>Please don't give up your search on finding God, visit a small local church on a Sunday morning if you can one day.
I don't have any desire to find god. As I said, I used to be a Muslim but I'm not religious anymore. I don't believe in god and I wouldn't find him unless he hit me in the face with a metal bat.

That being said, I'm not sure why you're here on 4chan with that mentality anyway, this place is like devil haven as far as I see it.

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As I've said, I'm gone for the day and I'll be replying to any posts after this tommorow, thanks for visiting.

>>16635342
Practice fasting, for it is a cure for diseases where there is none, stay strong and encourage each other to get better and love each other, for love is a cure for diseases where there is none, Godspeed.

>>16635462
how often should i do fasting?

>>16635460
4chan is a wonderful place that is full of wonderful people and I'm glad to have been a part of it for almost 10 years now. I'll pray so that may God hit you with a bat, and do remember it when it happens. Stay strong.

>>16635501
Do it once a week for 36 hours starting on 9PM at first. Do this for a few weeks so your body adjusts to it, then you can move on to 3 day fasting.

After your fasts always remember to start with drinking fruit-juice or pure water, or very, very light solid food. No meat, no eggs, nothing of that kind as your first meal after fasting. There's good info on the internet about fasting, you should look them up.

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>>16635462
I'm gone, see you tommorow.

I mostly sit in my room playing video games or studying after work / gym

I talk to girls on dating sites with little success, the most recent being one that we hit it off well but she cut contact after a week when she went out of state to visit relatives.

I also want to find a way to meet friends, so I've been trying to find a hobby or something.

What's a good way to find a hobby?

I've been into meditation for some time now, but in the past few weeks I've been skipping it. My mind doesn't seem to be into it. I end up meditating for a minute and I can't take it anymore. I've been putting off meditation and finding excuses to not do it.
How do I get back into it? What am I doing wrong? Any protips?

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OK where to begin

>started at a new job
>cashier on the weekend has a resting bitch face so didn't like her at first
>got to know her and we liked each other pretty much since day one.
>she has a boyfriend (he's white she's Mexican, like myself)
>added her on fb and we just kept it innocent but we tagged each other on stupid shit and messaged each other
>this goes on for 2.5 months
>I know all her flaws and they only attract me even more I have never met a person like her and we have so much shit in common
>accepted the fact that her guy is pretty cool so have tried to keep my distance
>she knows I like her and I know she likes me
>she wants to friendzone me but I'm not down for that
>I tried to have a coffee outside of work so we could talk about our feelings and shit
>she agreed to go then canceled
>I unfriended her on fb and have been cold to her
>I seriously can't get her out of my mind and as sappy as it sounds I feel we are meant to be
>I feel remorse because every man in her life has left her and I don't want to be another disappointment yet I don't want to be in pain because of her friendship

What should I do? I can no longer listen to music because of her

Ama

i was in a short relationship that wasn't even officially a relationship from oct 14-jan 15. it took me about a year to get over him. i'm in a new relationship that is officially a relationship and i do appreciate and love this person. still i can't stop thinking about my ex, it's just that the emotions aren't the same, the relationship i'm in now does not feel the same way. my ex did treat me good, and i was so in love with that person, almost obsessive, just put a lot of effort and trust into this, but they didn't want a relationship. the person i'm with now definitely wants to build, but it just doesn't feel the same yet. i'm not thinking about breaking up whatsoever but i just want to forget about my ex. it's just that every fucking single day i think about what'd happen if they texted me, called me, tried to get me back or whatever. they did get in touch 6 months ago to say they're sorry, but we didn't meet up. please help! i want an end to this!

In a LDR with a girl for almost a year finally about to meet but I don't really feel the same about her anymore.
Meanwhile meet a girl from work and we both like each other now after knowing each other for a few months, I'm not sure what to do anymore.

>>16635823
Ldrs suck. Meet with the girl from work give her a chance. If ur ldr didnt get to u within a year what do u imagine will this year look like?

>>16635600
>and I can't take it anymore.
Can you explain this in more depth, please?

>>16635872
Thanks for the advice. Not sure if this changes anything but I feel like I'm the only one putting an effort to see each other. I was unemployed when we first met and now have a steady job and paid for flight and hotel to see her. Other girl I like and I know she likes me we went out on new years with some of her friends and we ended up getting super drunk only went as far as holding hands cause I didn't want to cheat on my gf oh and she has a boyfriend to but is probably going to break up with him

>>16635886
I have to adjust my posture all the time. Leg starts hurting so I move it, nose is itching so I scratch it, back starts hurting so I have to change my posture.
When I get past being uncomfortable I am just getting distracted, I want to check my twitter or if there's a new video on youtube. Sometimes I just tell myself ''welp, that's good enough'' and then I check the time to see I've been meditating only for 5 minutes.
I am also fairly confused on what I am supposed to do when I meditate. At first I believed that all I am supposed to do is focus on my breath, and whenever I have a thought I just need to focus on my breath. Then I read what other jogi think and they say that I need to observe what I think and not try to do anything about my mind.
The goal of meditation has become confusing. I don't know if I am doing something that will make a positive effect on my mind or I'm just training to be more patient.

>>16636015
Even just letting yourself sit without doing anything is good for you. You don't have to force your brain to do anything.
What I like to do is set an alarm. Something with a soft sound, nothing startling. I set it for about ten minutes. Then I don't have to think about "enough" time passing.

To settle my mind, personally, I imagine images. The kind of images I see in dreams. I just let it move and shift. It distracts me from other thoughts.

>>16636195
I'll be sure to do that.
Just now I meditated for 14 minutes my body was shaking halfway into it and my mind was feeling foggy with random words just popping up. All that stuff calmed down by the end of the session, so I must be doing something right.

I'm struggling to find direction in life.
I'm a mid 20s male, graduate from a good university, with a shit degree, and currently in my final year teaching English in Japan.

I have no idea what to do after this, and no idea what I'm interested in.

I have some hobbies, such as playing various instruments, photography, rock-climbing, kayaking, gaming, reading, etc. However I'm not good enough at any of them to consider them a gateway into a future career.

I'm not in a particularly dire situation, I just need help finding out what I can do, that I will enjoy and hopefully make a living from.

How the hell do I do the greatest amount of good for as many people as I can? I feel like I should spend my life helping others but I know that I won't be content unless I do all that I can. Doctor? Work for the UN? Police officer? I don't fucking know. Help

How do I let go of a friend who doesn't want to be friends anymore?

How do I become "braver" and less anxious on social situations?

My main problem I think is that I feel fear of embarrassment, for example, I'd love to sing loud on my room, or to practice singing in an appropriate way, but I'm pretty sure people will hear me, so I don't do it.

Another situation is, when I'm with my girlfriend at public and I don't want to express my love to her in a way that I'd normally do, because of what would people think.

Also in presence of unknown people (usually good looking people) I dumbly try to impress them indirectly by, for example speaking of philosophy or "advanced" maths with a friend or someone who is hanging with me.

So, my problem is that I worry to much about what would people think of me. How do I stop that? Actually I hate that attitude, in my mind I just want to yell them: "Fuck You! My wilt is the law"

>>16636319
How about the military? What's officer selection and training like in your country? In the UK it's as simple as applying online, doing 4 days of selection where you just have to not be a cunt for 4 days and pass some basic physical tests, and show that you want to push yourself physically on the obstacle course, and you're in.

My female friend of a year or so is falling apart. After myself and another guy friend of hers (whom she also liked for a while) both moved on to different girls, she was moping around wondering why no one loved her and etc.

I'd like to say I want her happy but there's a much more urgent *I want her to stop moping around everywhere ruining everything* vibe much more so. So do I talk to her (as she wants, like calling for 1hr+ every few nights) or cut things (aka our friendship) off to make her get her act the fuck together?

I'm married, buy don't want to be. My wife wants us to move to a different state for a job. I aware of my problem, but I'm failing at manning up and just fucking doing it. How do I gain that power?

>>16633334
>be me
>in uni to be a teacher (my field is K12)
>student teach in a secondary placement and it went very well
>complete secondary placement with a passing grade
>a bunch of shit gets dropped in my personal life where the threat of being arrested/expelled was a reality (ex made a false rape accusation)
>the thought of being butt-fucked by a future cellmate makes it impossible to focus on my elementary placement
>elementary is also my weakest content area
>end up leaving my placement early (my choice) and receive a failing grade and an unprofessional impression
>have to wait a semester to reattempt student teaching
>also realized I could change majors and be done in a semester without having redo my placement
should I struggle through the 8 weeks to finish my current degree or jump ship to a related degree with an uncertain job market? I'm not really sure i want to teach anymore, but the option pretty much requires some sort of grad school/dramatic change of careers
tl;dr: struggle or uncertainty?

Need health advice
If im correct phimosis is when foreskin is too tight
but mine is attached to my head by a line of skin
going down my shaft
anyone know what it could be?
also can pull foreskin past head because of this

>>16636649
cant*

>>16636649
>cutfag
just go to the doctor

>>16636668
dont want it cut
very weird in my country
woman think its discussing here

>>16636701
i'm not saying to cut it, i'm saying have a medical professional give you their professional opinion, the cutfag bit is a frame of reference for you: I can't remember having a foreskin, so idk if that's normal or not

>>16633334

Not that you have a shortage of "need girl advice" questions, but I have another one for you. I got out of a relationship 6 months ago, and while it's been hard to move on, I think I have, and I'm ready to get back into dating. There's a girl who lives in my dorm that I've tried doing the whole nebulous, pseudo-date thing with ("do you want to grab breakfast/lunch" etc...) and she says yes, but asks to bring her roommate, who is a friend of mine and she is really close to. I'm almost positive that's a sign of disinterest, but do you think I should go ahead with asking directly for a date? My only reservation is that she lives right in front of a really good friend of mine's room, and it'd just be awkward, plus, word would kind of travel around (my dorm is one of those close-knit residential communities).
Sorry, it's pretty childish, but just wanted unbiased advice.

Hey /adv/ came looking for a general advice thread as I don't come here at all

So yeah anxiety is through the roof right now because I started devolping feelings for best friend (female) of two years, spent new years eve at her families party got drunk etc can't remember a lot but I had my arm around her at some points in the night. Slept over due to missing a taxi and now she's being extremely cold with me etc

In short
>feelings for female best friend
>might have done something I shouldnt have while drunk
>too scared to ask
>also to scared to ask about her feelings towards me romantically in case I ruin friendship

Sorry for any bad grammar or unclear points, extremely stressed right now

>>16636795

Talk to her about the problem. But in no way shape or form try to make move on her.

I had a relationship go downhill because I didn't talk about the problem with her. And I still dont know why we broke up. she never told me

Communication is key anon. You need to talk to her.

I don't know who I am anymore.
I feel like I'm too young to have this sort of crisis. There are lots of people my age who don't know what they're going to do with their lives. But that's not it. There are plenty of people who say that they're depressed, or gay, or trans, or have some sort of double personality. But that's not it. It's like my whole body is rejecting me. I can hardly think, hardly do anything without this horrible weight coming over me. I don't know why I feel like this, it doesn't make sense. I have friends, good grades, more money than I spend on things, a decent sense of my self and the people around me. How do I make this feeling go away?

I have a friend who lives a few thousand miles away.
She came to my high school for a year about 4 years ago. It was a pretty bad time in both of our lives, but we became acquaintances. Our friendship has blossomed over the past few years thanks to technology and we've gotten to know each other much better
Both when she was here and when I recently went through a period of injury related depression she's just been a light in my life. Our friendship has been nothing but a source of happiness for me.

I want to let her know that she's special to me and how much I appreciate her, and I've finally found the words to do so.

I guess what I'm asking is do you think something like that would weird someone out? I want to let her know how much she means to me, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable or jeopardize our friendship.

I'm in love with my best friends girlfriend and I hate myself for it.
Their relationship is perfect and I'm a broke loser with a shit job
I want to die for being so worthless
I'd never do anything to get in between them but I've had these feelings since before they got together
It hurts a lot
Fuck

Hey guys,
So I threw a party the other night and a girl that I invited, but didn't even expect to show up eventually did (by this point I was pretty drunk)
but from what I can remember we hit it off pretty well, and my roommates are also saying she might be into me from what they saw
She grabbed and took the hat I was wearing as she was leaving, is that like a sign for me to talk to her later or what?
I haven't really talked to her much beyond this party and another and she is related to someone who is really good friends with my friend circle so I am trying to approach this carefully.

>>16636764
I think she doesnt get the hint its supposed to be a date since yall are that close.

How do I get over my feelings of inadequacy and regret over wasting my youth?
I'm 24, and about to start a dentistry degree this year. I've tried two other degrees since I left high school but only lasted a year each time due to spiralling perfectionism/laziness/social anxiety/depression.
I've been a dental assistant for the past 3 years so I decided to pursue the dental thing not because I'm passionate about it but because I want to get on with my life and it was the easiest option+excuse to get out of my hometown. I'm scared of turning 30 and being so unstable.
My partner doesn't seem bothered by supporting me while I study. He is a chef apprentice but doesn't seem to be driven regarding his future which also makes me anxious.
On top of it all my biological clock is ticking down if I want a family. I've just fucked up so many amazing opportunities till now. I'm trying to tell myself to be positive and aim for improvement not perfection but I still get so down in the dumps.

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>>16635532
Courses my friend, courses! Talked about courses twice on this thread already, and I'm ready to talk about them twenty times more, they are that good for making friends, meeting new people and socializing with others.

Whatever you are interested about, there's likely a course for it, and if not you can simply pick one that sounds interesting to you, and behold, you are now in an envoirnment with other people who share your interest and you are forced to interract with each other and you have a hobby. 10-15 people is the ideal amount for a course about anything, you can make friends and meet new people so fast you won't even know what hit you.

Secondly, to quote >>16634894

>Any charity work/ event is great. Not only will you help and interract with a lot of people and that they'll be glad to have you there, the type of people you'll meet there will be of sincerity and good will for the most part.

Apply for charities/volunteer work for events that you are interested about.

>>16635600
>>16636015
Firstly, meditation is emptying of yourself so that you may be rid of your earthly concerns and wishes, and be filled with the universe and the spiritual realm and the love, which is God.

This is good advice >>16636195 in that, you are not supposed to force your brain, but rather settle down to meditate with good will and love in your mind and just empty yourself out. Let your concerns go, let your thoughts go, let everything go and focus on the moment, while keeping your good will and love there with you.

>>16636280
If it ever comes to you in the middle of a meditation session a barrage of ill-thoughts remind yourself: "I mean no ill will and I'm here to love and receive love" until you are rid of evil thoughts and bad feelings. Good luck.

>>16635768
Honestly, if she's in a loving relationship, there's nothing for you to do.

Your best course of action is to wait and see if she truly loves her current mate and if they'll break up, be her friend in the meanwhile and nothing more.

>>16635798
Time to make a decision. Firstly sit down and think if you still somehow love your EX. If you truly love your current boyfriend you should have no feelings for him, yet if you still have feelings for him call him and talk to him about it, and talk about if there's a chance you might get back together.

Your EX being cold to you and not talking to you for long periods of time is a good indicator that he is not interested, but obviously you still have feelings for him, so make the call and talk to him.

After your call and the conclusion of it you can decide on what you wish to do.

However if you do genuinely love your current boyfriend, simply stop thinking about him, because truly he does not and should not matter.

>>16635823
>>16635898
Tell your LDR about your situation, and don't make a move on the girl until she breaks up with her own boyfriend, lest you want the same thing happen to you.

>>16636319
Firstly I'd like to say that the advice here >>16636511 is bad, really bad. Do not ever give the control of your life over an institution that is out there to murder others and be murdered in return. Military is never the answer.

What you need to do is you need to sit down and think. You need to put aside your concerns and anxieties, and thoughts about obstacles and impossiblities and so on so forth, and think about what you really want to do.

It doesn't have to be a cliche office job, it doesn't even have to be an existing job, it can be anything. Music, painting, a job where you get to interract with a lot of people, a job where you get to interract with a lot of animals, anime critic, helping others, a tailor, a sailor, raising ducks, anything. All you need is to sit down and listen to your heart.

>>16636396
If it is your wish to enlighten people and make them see the right way so that everyone may be cured and help each other, find the truth and find the source of goodness and love, so that you may spread it. This is the way to reaching the greatest amount of people and doing the most good, and it's "easier" than a physical job where you help people directly.

Although if it is in your heart be a doctor or a police officer or a teacher, then do it and do it well.

>>16636459
By making new friends and socializing with others.

There's a lot of posts in this thread on how to make new friends and meet new people, check them out if you have the time.

>>16636480
Well, it isn't through saying "fuck you", I can tell you that much.

Humble yourself. Fill yourself with love and go out there to spread the love and do good will, and let go of what others may think of you. Let yourself die and be an agent of love and good will, while still keeping your personality.

Sit down and understand that overly trying to impress others is silly, and that limiting yourself into being someone else because you worry about what others may think is silly, and that someone else you've become is much worse than being yourself can ever be.

I know you "know" these already, but you need to tell these to yourself. Every day where you feel you haven't done a good job of letting your ego go, sit down and put aside 30 minutes to meditate on this.

>>16636548
Talk to her. If you simply cut contact she won't understand why that is and you will come off as aggressive.

Pull her aside and talk to her with all your frankness and explain her the situation. If she has a slight bit of wisdom she will appreciate it.

>>16636572
Wait, what exactly is the problem?
Why does your wife wish to move?
Why do you want to divorce? Is it related to your wife's wish of moving? Is it related to love?

>this should be good

how do I get an asian girlfriend, without having to move out of my country (in western europe)

preferably a wife really

or how do I increase my chances?

>>16636575
Honestly the choice is yours and you are the one who knows what you truly want.

If you are sure you don't want to teach and that it would be a torture upon you, then let it go and think about what you truly wish to do and move in that direction.

If you wish to teach, go through with it.

>>16636649
As >>16636710 said, you should likely see a medical professional on this.

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>>16636764
It's not childish at all, don't worry about it. Definitely ask her, there's nothing wrong in wanting to get to know a person better and asking out for a date, and you won't truly know if she's interested or not without asking.

>>16636795
This here >>16636812 is very good advice. You need to talk to her, and don't be scared to ask or to apologize.

>>16636849
Can you tell me more about this feeling?

What exactly it is that you feel? Tiredness? Not wanting to take any action? Not wanting to think? Feeling of emptiness?
Is there a time or a period where it emerges, or emerges more strongly than others? Is there a thing you do that triggers this feeling?
Without this feeling in mind, do you feel you are missing something in your life, even with all the good thing you have going for you?

I think I know what you need to do, but I'd be happy if you could answer these questions.

>>16636860
No, it wouldn't weird her out, she would be glad to hear those words from you. Tell your feelings from your heart just like you've typed them here and it will be a jewel she'll hold in her heart for her.

>>16636910
First thing to do: Stop thinking about her, the moment you realize you are thinking of her, stop.

Secondly: it's time to get your stuff together anon.

Getting stuff together in order:
-Sit down and think about what you wish to do with your life, go with your heart.
-Sign up for a gym. Not only is this great for your body but also your mind and your spirit.
-Socialize with others and make new friends and meet new people. Courses are great for this, there's more info about them on this thread if you like.
-Value doing the right thing above everything else, just like how you know you should not be in love with your best friend's girlfriend.

Through this you can learn to be happy by yourself, and find a girlfriend that you'll love just as much, if not more, and receive it back.

>>16637497
Just go talk to her, tell her you'd like to get to know her better. Nothing to think too hard upon, nothing to be too careful about, it should go well for you.

>>16637692
It may sound cheesy, but you haven't wasted anything, don't focus on this thought for it is not true.

It's not too late for you to do anything, and so with this thought in mind I want you to sit down and think, what it is that you are passionate about and what it is that you truly want to do. It can be a job, it can be a crazy never-before-seen job, it can just be having a child and raising a family, it can be anything. Don't worry about how you have no experience about it or how you are "old", believe me when I say you are not too late for anything, as long as you know it is THE thing you want to the and the path you want to take in life.

Talk to your partner about this and ask him how he feels as well.

>>16637842
I.. I don't know anon, I would personally suggest looking for the individual rather than the race as the priority when looking for a wife, but if it is in your heart to do so, I guess your best chance would be to take up a course where there would be asian women, such as a language course or a cooking course dedicated to an asian kitchen, or spending time in where ever else they may concentrate in your country.

>>16637833

Thank you :)

>>16633334

How the fuck do you get a job?

I'm 21 and never had a "real" job. I just worked in my family business doing some work on construction sites and managing the emails and printing shit.

>>16637960
->Sit down and decide on what you want to do
->Research the steps you need to take to get there
->Take action

If it is any job you are looking for that is not related to your family, just go out there and look for ads and apply for positions. Go to your favourite store/restaurant/course and ask if they are looking to fill a position. It doesn't matter if you haven't got much experience on the job, as long as you show that you are interested about it and willing to do a good job about it, your employer won't care as much. Showing interest and actually wanting to work there and making sure they see it is the most important part about the interviews/ recruiting process. Good luck.

For years, since I was in middle school, I've always impersonated other people online. It started with characters in tv shows, and throughout the years I slowly became far more advanced at it.

Somewhere along the line however I also started pretending I was female. I'm 26 now, and I've been struggling trying to let this go. To stop.

I feel like I've stunted my own growth as a man, and that my actual personality isn't nearly as developed as these fake personas I've developed.

I am struggling with this inside battle all the time. It's so easy to get attention online when you are a female. It's so easy to get when I want. People will fall for the simplest of social maneuvers, but I always hit a ceiling.

It's always when I realize that I cannot do voice chat reliably that I am stopped dead in my tracks. Voice changers just aren't reliable or advanced enough, and my actual voice is far too masculine.

I want to be free of this, I want to just be the real me, the me that is out here, that exists in this body, but I don't know how. I don't know how people will accept me online, or find value in me or my opinions, when they know I am a male. I feel automatically less valued.

But I want to feel confidence in myself, I want to feel that me, who I am, is better and of higher value that just any random woman. I want to be masculine and be happy with my masculinity.

I can never reach the end of the road with relationships online because as soon as I hit a certain point, I must sever them, because I am not actually a woman, so I cannot fully develop my friendships.

I want to reach the end of the road in my friendships online, I want to hang out and chat with friends and be a part of a group. I want to be accepted for being a real person, and I want to get rid of the constant fear of discovery, the constant calculations for how to better create the illusion, I want to stop it.

But I don't know how. I feel powerless. It's just so easy for me to get away with it.

>>16637988

have you ever had real friends ?

>>16637988
Firstly, stop thinking about your online personas and why or how they don't work, just wipe them off of your mind. Don't think about voice changers, don't think about how it gets you more attention, don't think about how it's easy for you and harder for you to be yourself don't think about anything, let it die. The second you find yourself thinking about tell yourself it's dead and you are done.

Good thing about being yourself and getting your personality back is that it's quick and it's natural, no matter how you feel it may be hard for you right at this moment.

You are not a woman, you are not some TV character, you are yourself and every value you have comes from yourself, not one of your pretend personas. Feel confident about who you are and pull your strenght from it, and do not ever lie. This is important, make this a statute upon yourself: Do not lie. Don't even think about it, tell the truth, be yourself as you want to be, and after a short while it will come back to you natural as can be.

Homework: You are to stay away from the computer and interract/socialize with others, in real life. And I do mean strangers, talk to whoever you can and just make small talk and ask them questions for a conversation where you can be yourself. Elderly people at the park are great for this, go strike up a conversation with one of them, they'll be glad to talk with you. Remember these interractions you have and be yourself on the internet just as you were in real life. Also remove that anime girl avatar on steam.

>>16638004
Fortunately I am blessed with some great friends I've had since highschool, but aside from them and my family, you are right, I've never made a real online friend in my life, because the entire relationships were based on complete falsehoods.

>>16638008
Thank you very much. I honestly wasn't expecting such a solution oriented response. I was really expecting to be called pathetic or a monster or worse.

Unfortunately I live in Alaska, and between jobs so I'm dead broke, which means I won't find anybody in parks this time of year, and I certainly don't have the money to head down to the bar. Fortunately, your response made something enter my mind.

I feel that you are right, that I must interact and be honest. Real life is perfect because it is so much more difficult to lie about the things I do so often. However...it is not in real life I have this identity crisis. It is online.

I feel your advice is correct in that I must be cornered and I must be FORCED to tell the truth, because lying would be so impractical. But I feel that I must do this online, I must do this where I lie, or else it will not strike at the real problem. I will simply wait until I get bored, open up the laptop, and go right back to what I was doing before.

I need to attach myself to an identity and reveal who I am and what I am immediately, so that I will not have the opportunity to lie or be deceptive.

I feel that it is so simple to say, but truly I feel as if a highly developed femininity is inside of me, and its crying out with this, but inside I feel my male self rebelling against what I've done to myself. I want to be free of this, I truly do. Do you think dropping it cold-turkey is the best decision? There are all of these people...I could never reveal what I've done, they'd literally ruin me.

>>16638030
Letting it die in an instant is the best way to go with this. Because this isn't something that's not real as some may tell you or something you can just ignore or make a deal with if you want to, you have made a place for this inside your heart and now it claims attention and it claims a bit of yourself. If you give it a little bit it will never die and you will never be rid of it.

Gather your will and let it be done. It won't let you go easy, but remember to remind yourself that it's dead and you are done with it whenever it tries to come back. Stay stong for the first few times it hits you and then it will be easier.

>>16638037
You are right, god help me, my heart is pounding and this sense of dread over takes me and is boiling my blood. I am scared to do this, because I know I will be destroying something inside of me.

I do not know if I am strong enough to do this so easily. What will be left to make me happy? I have sent so long leaving my real self to rot, I will feel such great misery if I do this. All that my ego is built around will be lost. I do not feel that I am strong enough to do this on my own.

I need something to keep me from it, I cannot just destroy, I must replace, I must substitute it with something else, and build value on that. Something honest, something real, something of the real me. God help me, I am scared.

I know what I must do, but I am scared to do it.

It will never truly be gone completely, because certain things may lead back to me. However, if I abandon those things for a great deal of time after severing the connections with these people, and I come back years from now, I feel I would have become such a distant memory, that they'd have forgotten, and I will immediately connect myself honestly.

I will make due instead by spending frequent time with my brother, sister, and 2 best friends. Maybe I'll call my dad too just to talk to him.

It is so hard to do this, to need them so badly, but not be able to tell them I do. I'm very scared, but I know what I must do.

>>16638058
You have no reason to be scared, so don't be. You have no reason to worry, so don't.

Understand that those fake indentities you've created did not bring anything of any true value, and they are based upon lies and deceit, and this isn't what you want.

You don't need anyone for this, you are the one in control, not that thing. Replace it with more of yourself, replace it with the freedom you have to expand infinitely as your complex self rather than hitting a wall as a poorly made doll standing upon lies. If you want it to be gone completely it will be gone completely.

Remember and don't be fooled, you are the one in control, and don't let it scare you for you have no reason to be scared. Honor your God given will and be done with it.

>>16638084
I just severed all of the contacts I had made

I will now uninstall all of the programs on my computer associated with what I've done

This hurt me so much, there were some good people who did not deserve what I've done, I can feel the weight of my sins now bearing on me for the first time

But I feel as if I am in control, but now I feel so very alone, perhaps it is loneliness that has drive me to this point, perhaps I have always felt so alone

Regardless, thank you for slapping me with simplicity, its a lot better than the alterntives

>>16638126
You can always make new friends and make have stronger ties now that you are infinitely more real. Stay strong and obey your statutes, Godspeed.

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Gone for a few hours.

>>16637838
The problem is I don't know how to go through with a divorce. The best scenario for me is having my wife move for the job, while I stay here. I'm lacking the willpower to go through with it.

>>16637838
Forgot to add it is related to love. Or lack of love.

>>16637863
I don't know what I feel, it just feels like my whole life is ahead of me, and I haven't done anything to reach it and it's too late. Like a pit in my stomach being tossed and turned about, empty and alone. I've noticed that thinking about my ex seems to give me this, but it also happens for no reason at all. I feel like there is something missing from my life, something unattainable that everyone else has, and I can't reach it.
Sorry for the late reply, I just got up.

>>16638440
>>16638444
To be honest I have no idea how to go about a divorce either, I feel it's too personal. If you for whatever reason feel like it's not worth the trouble, try working something else out, maybe you can even get the love back?

>>16638864
Those are false feelings as you likely already know, and you not too old for anything. Don't compare yourself to others, it's one of the most useless time wasting burdens you can bring upon yourself.

What you are lacking is a purpose and a partner in life, but these are relatively easily obtained if you don't torture your mind with non-existant problems and just take the steps you already know about to get there. I'm sure you'll find everything a lot clearer and easier once you stop looking at what other seem to have and how others seem to lead their lives and just focus on yourself.

I am sick and tired...

I am a 19 year old... typical beta male. Typical scenario right? from beta family? can never get laid, the nice guy, strong family?

No.

My father and my brother are both HUGE alphas (My father has cheated on every single woman he has ever had, but has always taken good care of me... My brother gets laid every other week if not more often (from what my mother tells me, I no longer live at home))

I am sick and tired. I dont know if I want to be an alpha male, but I jsut want to be able to find someone to love me back. I have fought with f*kin depression and anxiety msot of my life and I am finally (after 18 years of my father refusing to give me medication (but I did see a pshychiatrist)) taking medication for it.

I dont know if I need help, or if I shoudl resign to being a lonely beta dumbass.

I am sorry for ranting. I just dont know where to ask for advice anymore.

I am so sorry

My girlfriend (note: also best friend) lives in another city but it wasnt a problem until one day she said that it was too much for her and we broke up. Two months passed and she said to me that she's in a relationship, the same night i got a bit drunk and texted her a message that was rude but told some truth in ways and that i didn't want us to talk ever again (she broke my heart many times before and now once more) she said that she agrees that we shouldn't talk anymore. The thing is that i don't know if she doesn't care about me anymore (it really feels that way) or she is just hurt with everything I said (maybe both) and i don't know how to move on its the only thing i think off no matter what i do since she was my best friend before our relationship an we used to be really close). I know it will take time but i really feel depressed i haven't felt so hurt before whether someone died or because i broke up. I tried drinking and some light drugs but they can only make me forget temporeraly (also i didnt have confirmed depression but i felt that way before we even broke up and now i have no motivation on living at all she was the only thing that kept me on my feet (note: although i prefer not to show it im a huge pessimist and i have self-destructive nature so i can't find anything satisfying)

>>16638907
All is fine anon.

I'm going to need you to explain to me your undesireable traits without using the word "beta".

Why do you feel like you have to take medication?
Why does not having a girlfriend bother you so much? What bothers you about not "getting laid" when you are only 19? Is it love you are looking for or hollow sex?

I know this is not what you wish to hear, but your father has been protecting you from those "medications". Any "medication" you are taking for depression and anxiety are straight up destructive, they have zero positives and life wrecking side effects if you let it get to that stage. You may feel better for a few weeks or even a month or so, but their effects diminish and your body becomes addicted to them, while you feel nothing but numbness. There's a huge percantage of people using these drugs long term (not years, just months) suiciding, falling into deeper depression, organs failing and many other horrible life destroying side effects, and believe me when I say these side effects are not there by coincidence. My advice for you would be to drop them at an instant.

You don't need medication, you don't need to feel bad for not having a girlfriend yet, you don't need to feel bad and drag yourself into dark places because you have some undesirable traits, we all do. But these are all very fixable, and having a significant other is a matter or finding the right person, not being an alpha male and sleeping with five different girls a week. Clear your mind off of the negativity, drop the drugs and take things easy.

>>16638924
You need to write her an apology. Write her an heart-felt apology for all the rude things you said and wish her a happy life and tell her that you've valued the time you've spent together and whatever else is in your heart, but apologize to her.

Then you'll find moving on a lot easier, which is what you should be doing. Keep yourself busy, socialize with others, meet new people, exercise, work on your hobbies, whatever you can do to keep yourself from being idle. And through time passing by and through realizing that life moves on and there are millions of other people out there and that you can have many other best friends and lovers that you'll love even more, you'll feel a lot better.

Can I be healthy and happy without actually exercising regularly?
I'm not fat, in fact if anything I'm a little underweight.
I can feel that my body needs exercise, but maybe I'm over paranoid. Soon I'll be walking as a part of my commute, about 15 minutes. Is that enough?

I'm 18 and currently living with my father while I attend junior college. The problem is, his depression and bipolar is getting much worse and he isn't able to work anymore.

He is going to have to live with my grandparents for a while, which leaves me with a couple options.

I could A. go live with my aunt and uncle in Arizona and attend junior college there. I wouldn't mind this as my Uncle is an engineer like me and could show me a lot of cool stuff and probably hook me up with a decent job.

Option B. is to move to Germany where my mother lives and attend school there, as it would probably be a LOT cheaper for me and the classes are in English (my german sucks ass). The problem I have with this is that for what I'm studying (aerospace engineering) the best schools in the world are here in the U.S.

What should I do? Do I have other options to consider?

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>>16638955
Any exercise you do is a plus, I don't know why you shy away from it instead of putting aside 15-30 minutes to do some basic exercises while you are watching something or listening to music.

Start small, do 5 minutes of exercise a day, and once you realize that it is no big deal and that exercising is actually a good feeling, you will want to do more. Pick an exercise here and do it for 5 minutes right now, for instance.

>>16638941
I try and make contact with girls and I never seem to be able to get a text back.

I diet all the time (I am not morbidly obese, as I once was, only slightly chubby, with a healthy bmi)

I am affraid, what happens if I stop taking these drugs alltogether. I feel fine, Things seembetter, but its these pockets of "darkness" that I get every day or so that sometimes really take a toll.

My mother did warn me aout the drugs, and she asked me to stop taking them.

I...I am very needy, I just want to meet someone who I can love so she can love me back. I guess, now that I type about it, I want someone to "fulfill", you know, someone to look after.

I know I will probably never have children, mostly because I have seen what a broken family can do to them.

I suffered a lot when my mother left me, but I never showed it externally. And again when my step mother did the same (both accounts because they found out my father had cheated on them... Both of the "cheating" women would later become my "moms" including the mother of my step brother... Now brotherS the little one is 4 now)

I can never seem to be able to make friends. I can never "woo" a partner into anything close to intimacy and I am very rough.

>>16638967
This one feels like it's mostly up to your own personal preferance, but let me tell you one thing: schools are schools. Unless there's mountains of difference between the ones in Germany and US, I wouldn't suggest for you to take up a huge debt. Personally I would go to Germany, but then again, this is all up to what you think and feel.

>>16638986
(Not OP)
So you want to become 'alpha' aka more like your brother / father, but you also want a long-term monogamous fulfilling relationship, and you're worried about kids because you don't want to risk inheriting your father's bad parenting skills?

Do you live alone? Do you have a lot of contact with your father / brother? their friends?

>>16638986
Alright anon, first things first, drop the drugs and send them to the trash can. For a single day you may have a bit of withdrawal, but you are a big man and you can deal with it. Keep in mind that it will only last for about a day and then you will have no more of these darknesses falling upon you with the same intensity, this I promise you.

Secondly I'm going to ask you two things: physical exercise and fasting. Whatever money you've given to the psyhc and the drugs, invest it into a gym subscription, have someone there give you a schedule chart and stick to it. As for fasting, fasting will help you with two things: fasting is the undisputed best way to detox your body from the all poison it has absorbed through those drugs. It will regain you your mental health, it will cleanse your blood and your body, it will make you feel more optimistic, and it will help you lose weight.

I ask you to stop eating at 9PM for one day and spend the next day not eating anything. On the day after you've done fasting for 36 hours, your first meal should be very, very light, just a fruit-juice if possible, and then you can gradually eat wholer foods as the day progresses. Whenever a the feeling of hunger hits you or you experience withdrawal symtoms know that it's only your body adjusting itself and that it is a good thing. Do this for once every week.

Lastly, once you've done these and stabilized yourself, with more understanding and happiness, you will find it a lot easier to attract the opposite sex. Trust me when I say that your priority should be on the first two things I've mentioned and the rest will fall into place naturally.

>>16639023
Yeah. I left home very abruptly a month after I turned 18 and became homeless. I worked it out in the end and now I am in college (happy side note, hook'em horns).

I have seen what a man like my fatehr can do to 3 of us. Now, dont get me wrong, I love him and I will stand by his side until he is no longer with us, but, as the ungratefull son that I may looklike, as the inperfect human that I am, I dont think cheating on your wife, who you know is very catholic, and very faithfull, is ok.

I live by myself, I have a roomate. I had to switch dorm rooms because my last roomate was delaing pot in the room, and I refuse to go back home. (ergo, the university is my "true" home), and I CANNOT afford to get kicked out of the university.

I "think" I was alrght as a roomate, I try to make my roomates as confortable and be as friendly as I can (within the bounds of good taste) .

My father wants to keep talking to me. He is the one that found me. Had it been for me I would not have seeked them ever again. I have not had any contact with any of their freinds or family since 361 days ago (its almost the 1 year aniversary of me being homeless)

>>16639037
I am sorry.

I will try to talk about this to my pshychiatrist, but I am too affraid to stop taking the medicine. I dont know what will happen if I do.

I will definitly fast. That I will do

I cant get off these. Things were WORSE before I took them.
I am taking fluoxetine (prozac) and bupropion to treat my deppression and anxiety.

I am sory if I sound stubborn as a mule, its just that I am scared of going back... I dont want to stay depressed, and the drugs have helped.

>>16639061
>left home at 18
>self-funded college education
>father sounds like he's wanting to stay in your good graces / ask for forgiveness, rather than the other way around
By many definitions, this is already pretty 'alpha'. There's a big difference between humility and self-pity, have some confidence in what you've managed to accomplish and don't waste the opportunity.

Also, fun fact, most high school / college relationships don't really work out.

My girl would like to try oral on me, what advice can i give her ?


>>16634139
I think i went here once [spoiler]et c'était sympa[/spoiler]

>>16639079
They are only temporary, you will quite soon find yourself numb to their effects and in a worse situation then before you were taking them. Then you'll visit your psychiatrist and that person will suggest you to up the dosage and so you will, and for a while you will feel "better" again only to find yourself in that worse situation quicker than before, and once you are in that stage were you are taking those drugs by the chunks, THEN it will be hard for you to stop taking them.

Be stubborn if you wish but don't be blind. Do your own research and see what those drugs do to people, the internet is filled with horror stories of people using those drugs. Your psychiatrist at the very best will only partially tell you the truth, and at worst will straight up lie to your face about it, because they take a cut from the billion dollar pharma industry giants. Any person who knows what they are doing with a bit of dignity and good will would not prescribe those drugs to you, do not expect useful advice from that person.

>>16639102
Let her do her thing anon.

>>16639079

Not the guy you're talking to, but I had to chime in.

The advice about drugs and exercise is great, but fasting is a bad idea.

I have a degree in nutrition. Fasting does not "cleanse" anything from your body, it will not help you lose weight, it will not enhance your mood.

If anything, you will feel far more tired and demotivated, and more likely to binge eat afterwards. It also deprives your body of vital nutrients. Overall, fasting weakens and sickens you. People need food to live. Even things like juice "fasts" basically replace all the good stuff in your diet with pure sugar, which is a stupid idea.

Fasting is useless at best, and dangerous at worst. It's totally unsupported pseudoscience pushed by the same people who want to sell you "detoxes" and other such bullshit.

If you want to get healthier and lose weight, start eating better foods, and counting calories. The sticky over at /fit/ can help you with that.

Good luck

>>16639089
See.

I dont know, is that the kind of person I want to be?

I dont want to be arrogant and negate my father from the "happyness" tha thaving a child entices. (I never enjoyed birthdays as a kid. I hated dancing, and I in general tried to keep to myself. I had a lot of issues with my father, a good part of them because I always forgot to do my chores, but if you told me in th emoment, I woudl stop everything and go do them)

I live in everyday fear of becoming one of those ungratefull basterds who take everything an contribute nothing. Thats why I dont ask money from my father. He always tries to give me money, but I rarely accept.

Recently I bought a motorized bike, which happened to leak fuel form the tank to above the piston housing, my father cried when I told him I would not accept him to buy me a more expensive electric model (he said he saw my life in danger, and I ended up trading it in because he insisted)

I love the guy, but everytime I talk to him he makes me forget why I left, but I can only remember the bad things.

He says he tried to make me happy, yeah he tried, but how he tried an what he pushed on me made my life my personal hell .

I never let my schoolwork fall below a B, and I tried to be well behaved as I could.

>>16639112
yeah but it's her first time trying and she isn't that much comfortable about it.

Just comforting her would do the trick ?

I'm not Buddhist or anything but I've noticed any time I get anxious or angry I can sort of center myself now just by thinking about it, enabling myself to act confidently. I never practiced this or anything and it's just recently I've gained the ability to do it. Hopefully I can hold onto this ability, used to be super stressed and prone to depression for years but out of nowhere gained this.

>>16639122
Fasting has existed as a well established and proven to work activity for thousands of years, and there are many 'o researches out there proving its detoxing capabilities. Fasting for a single day has not and cannot ever hurt an average person even if that person hasn't fasted before, and a human being can fast for 10 days without being weakned in any aspect, and up to 40 days without losing any "vital nutrients".

As a general advice, you can tell NWO shills from their aggressive writing style and blatant lies. By some off chance you aren't one, do your research before you barge into a thread spreading buzzwords and insults. And doing your research does not consist of reading a first page google article from websites owned by trillion dollar company chains.

>>16639131
I can only suppose so anon.

>>16639164
You don't have to be a buddhist for it, and as long as you practice it and want to keep it, it will be there.

Hey, So I like this girl and Idk how she feels about me. I want to ask her out but further information on that later. We were at a New Years Party with some friends and we were all crowded on a couch and I sat near her (she motioned me to sit there), but even after the couch was crowded we stayed where we were (arms touching pretty much). She got up to get something, and then sat back down next to me again (back the way it was before, almost leaning on me now) does that mean anything? and I've been wanting to ask her out via text with a picture of me holding a card asking her out? but I'm not sure any advice?

>>16639203
Nah over doing it. Just ask her out. No big deal if she rejects you.

>>16639203
You like her, just ask her out anon. Her at the very leasting showing you that she's not uncomfortable with you is as good a sign as it gets for you to ask her for her time to get to know her better.

Crossposting.

Situation: I´m a male/23, had a ONS on the 24th dez with a girl i had just met, she´s 28. she came like 8 times, that we should do this again and she said i should contact her after nye because she´d be on familyholidays.

so today i wrote her if she´s up for escapism and orgasms to which she replied with "unfortunately not today, uni stuff bla"
I then asked her if she wants to fixate a date on the weekend because i won´t have time during the week.
"that´s a bad time because big party of some friends of mine, maybe we can do something spontaneous?"
I got the feeling that she doesn´t want to meet at all so, frustrated as i was I wrote:

"i want you, now.
anything else is too vague"
to which she replied
"thats sad..."(something like this, can´t really translate)
me: "extremely"

I fucked up, its too fucking complicated to write all of my wandering thoughts out for you to fully grasp the gravity of my inner situation.

the short version is i want to keep in contact with her.
Is this in anyway salvageable? Opinions?

>>16639104
I understand I must not be blind to the facts, and reality. I just fail to see the reality you are mentioning.

I agree, there is a very real probability what you are telling me is real. In fact, looking at the pharmaceutical industry and their arm in politics I am very much inclined to believe you, what I ask you to understand is that I am scared.

I dont want things to go back to the way they were, and I am terrified to stop taking them

I am sorry, almost to the point of crying, I am telling you, I believe you... I am just too scared to move.

Again, I am so sorry, I need some time to think about this, but waht is importnat for me to know, is that you understand, I AM listeing to what you said and I see your arguments. I recognize you are probably right, its just that I am too scared to decide what to do.

I dont know who to talk to about this. I just need some real data, and some more evindence, and I will continue to think about it.

I am so sorry, and thanks. You have influenced change in a person today, and for that I thank you, its just that I am terrified of what to do.

>>16639217
>>16639218
Thanks ^_^

>>16639222
You haven't "fucked up", believe me when I say you're making a big deal out of nothing.

You can just ask her out after the time she specifies as busy. Her giving you reasons and trying to find a different ground shows she's at the very least a little bit interested in you, only if she keeps giving you excuses not to meet after your second or third invite you should assume she is not interested. In short, people can be busy.

>>16639218
>>16639217
But I have one more thing. I know two guys that have recently asked her out and she rejected both of them (two different times of course not on the same day or anything). And I kind of fear the rejection part.

>>16639258
Don't.

>>16639223
I understand the feelings you may be going through but keep this in mind: you have nothing to be scared of.

You are under God's protection and nothing horrible will happen to you unless you let it happen yourself. Those pills only serve to pull you away from divine protection that resides within your body. You don't have to act immediately but keep this in mind.

Tomorrow I have my first interview for an Internship I've been working to get on.

The place is a Creative Agency and I got in thanks to my best friend, who's working closely with the founder of the agency. I come in with good references, but honestly I'm pretty clueless. It's the first time I do an internship, I don't know what will I do, I don't know how should I face the interview and what's most important: I don't know how to do it to stay there afterwards.


Any of you guys have been on this before? How should I prepare for the interview? So far, I know the founder is a very down-to-earth guy. I know how I'm going to dress, casual but very sharp. But I don't know what I'm facing. What kind of questions should I expect, or If I should even get this worried about it. I want to do it the best.

And in the case I get it, and I start working with them... how do I make it to stay there after the internship is over?

Regardless of the final result, they're a very important agency, so clearly at the worst I'm leaving with a good mark on my CV

>>16639258
You fear what, a measly "no, I'm not interested"? Would it be worth years of wondering what could happen? Just go for it anon.

Even if she's not interested the experience you'll have is better than nothing.

>>16638951
I tried to support what i said with a logical explanation but she only seemed to care about the insults i wrote her when i was drunk and she replied she's too tired (we had some intense fights before we were a couple) and since she keeps hurting me it would be better this way for both of us. I believe moving on is best and don't intend to keep in touch since she moved on (and pretty fast which bothers me) it's just that im still hurt and i truely loved her so even when i go out with friends etc. this "hole in my heart" won't stop bothering me and i met i girl which was great but turned her down because of my feelings. I will follow your advice but i don't know wether i should apologise since she didn't seem to wanna hear form me again after i hurt her feelings with my message and im thinking of giving it some time before i do but im not sure wether i should at all

Can you shed some light as to why I might feel so awful sometimes in my relationship? My boyfriend is pretty great and we have something fantastic. However I have a lot of anger inside and I can still get really disappointed and sad about things he did months ago. I definitely don't trust him. (Except for him being monogamous, that's a given.) He listens very well and he really seems to care. I look down on him though and expect the worst of him, and get extremely disappointed when he meets those low expectations. I regularly want to break up just to give myself peace and maybe start a new with someone else. I felt great single and now I long back for those days even though I have so much fun with him and love him. Overall I find a relationship to be quite a burden and it sucks because he feels great in our relationship so he can't relate. Daddy issues? We are in our early twenties.

>>16639276
That is the whole point of internship, it is absolutely fine if you are clueless, they expect you to be clueless.

The only thing that matters during the interview and the internship: show willingness to work, show them you are interested and let them know you want to work there. This is all there is to it.

>>16639278
>>16639261
Whoah, I've never though about it like that. I'll ask her next time I talk to her. Thanks Anonymous. Greatly Appreciated.

>>16639297
Apologize and forgive, and ask for forgiveness and move on. Believe me, you will feel a lot better yourself. Put aside your pride and your ego and send her a heartfelt apology.

>>16639304
There this other thing: I aggree with you. I wanna work, and work hard for them. How should I put that into words? is it a bad move to show enthusiasm? Should I avoid saying "I wanna learn with you guys"?

>>16639302
I don't quite understand what it is that you don't trust him about?
What are these low expectations you are talking about?
Why do you expect the worst of a person?
What tires you in the relationship?

And most importantly, have you talked about his possible shortcoming and your frustrations with him?

>>16639341
They expect enthusiasm, just don't force yourself and feel like you must act or anything. Be in a good mood, smile, answer their questions, talk from your heart and all shall be fine.

>>16639318
Yea man once you stop thinking and start doing stuff life gets easier.

>>16639257
I tried, when i was asking about the weekend to which she replied she cant and:
maybe we can do something spontaneous?
I just figured that she didn´t have the particular drive to meet me even though she told me otherwise in person.
i´m just too frustrated and emotionally unstable to handle this properly.

and now with this "i want you, now.
anything else is too vague" it feels like i´ve said
either we´re gonna meet now or never.

>>16639359
Thanks for the advice, pal

>>16639371
No not really, you just simply showed interest in her, she can even take it as a compliment.

Trust me, don't think about it, don't make a deal about it. Simply ask her out again after the specified time she has given you.

>>16639343
I have. It hurt him when I said I felt I couldn't rely on him, because of some of his past actions. He basically assumed that being with an "independent strong woman" meant he didn't have to take care of me and the reality is very different. He knows our relationship bums me out a lot and he doesn't understand why. Tbh I can't really answer your questions either. Since I was a kid, I never trusted people and always expected them to disappoint me so for me this is a given. I like to think that we are just playing around and I should start looking for a man who is more serious about relationships, but my boyfriend didn't let me leave and promised he would change. However the fact that I look down on him and expect him to fail can't possibly be a healthy thing.

Through some research I found that I probably have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style and the "cure" was to be with a secure person, which he definitely is. The problem just keeps reappearing so that's why I was hoping for someone else's perspective. Should I get therapy? Perhaps just give up on the relationship? We're together almost 1,5 years and I have felt like this pretty much from the beginning.

>>16639399
What are those past actions? Does he keep repeating them?
In what way did he not take care of you?
If he knows that you have a problem with the relationship, does he try to talk to you about it?
What exactly do you expect him to fail on? Why do you look down on him? Why do you feel he's not serious about the relationship?

You don't have to type the answers here if you wish, but if you can pinpoint the answers to these questions to solid arguments and factual things, you can first lay them down and talk to your boyfriend about it and see what can be done, and if it keep repeating you can consider breaking up.

If you can't base your feelings on logic and if you feel like this may repeat with virtually anyone you have a relationship with, you might want to seek therapy.

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Gone for the day, if there are any posts after this I'll be replying to them tommorow, thanks for visiting.

>>16639414
Okay, thanks a lot! Last question: would it be a bad idea to make a pros and cons list of being with him and sharing that with him? Goodnight.

>>16639506
Any kind of communication you do with him should help, only be kind and willing to work things out when you are doing it.

>>16633334
I would appreciate some wisdom, thank you.

I am struggling in my marriage. Things have been bad for a few years. I have recently talked things through with my wife and we've agreed to try, together, to make things work. If we don't make any progress then we'll get counseling. (And if that doesn't work then maybe we'll get divorced)

Whilst in the bad last couple of years I was very depressed and lonely. I made a friend who helped me out a lot. Unfortunately I've become fixated on her now, and can't stop thinking about her. She's my first thought each morning, my last thought at night - whatever I'm doing I wonder what she's doing and wish we were together.
I am aware that having strong feelings for my friend is likely to interfere with building up a connection again with my wife. The thought of breaking off contact with her is horrific though. She's really been my rock - I'd feel like a douche to just up and vanish having got what I needed from her and without paying her back, and of course I'd miss her like crazy which would hurt. Judging by the way my mood is affected depending on whether I've seen her it heard from her, I think this is over the line into addiction/unhealthy obsession.
I don't know how I can have a normal relationship with her as a friend, without the obsession. I really don't want to give her up. What I want is to be able to better manage my feelings. Is that a skill that can be learned?

>>16633334
Alright, why not.

Here's the deal, old man: There is this girl, we had "a thing" about... 7 months ago. It could have gone further than one night stand, but I was too much of an idiot to notice the signals she's been sending me, so after one night it was it. Not that I had any problem with it, 0 fucks disposed.

Here's my question to you;

Should I pick it up with her, just out of pure boredom? I don't know, give her a call to meet for a coffee, catch up etc. It's a coin toss to me, but I figured I can ask you, since I have nothing better to do.

>>16633334
Been dating this girl for almost 3 months now. I feel like her feelings toward me fluctuate a lot. Some weeks she's super in love with me, all she wants is just to chat with me and cuddle. Chatting with me for hours before sleeping and telling me how much she wants to be with me.

Other days she just doesn't seem to give a shit at all. Almost impossible to get her to talk with me. Doesn't wanna hang out even though she really has nothing else to do either.

I really love her though. She's the only girl I want. I couldn't imagine dating anyone else. However when I get so miserable whenever she stops giving a fuck about me. I still can't let go of her because I feel like I'm genuinely happy when she wants to spend time with me.

What's the point of dating her if she's the main reason I'm miserable every other week? Right now I can't even think of a reason why I'm with her. I'm actually starting to feel hatred toward her.
Can someone just wake me up and explain the situation to me so I can finally make up my mind about leaving her? I feel like I have to hear it from someone else.

>>16637791
Yeah I plan on telling her but not till after we see each other cause I made a promise and everything. Its gonna be hard breaking it off with her if I do, I really hate hurting people

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>>16633334
>I forgave my ex who was my bestfriend for monkey-branching and leaving me for someone else
>I forgave a longtime friend who betrayed me
I do not plan on keeping these people in my life, what happened between all of us was 5 months ago.
How do I begin to forgive myself for how poorly I handled things and how big of an idiot I made myself look.
I have learned from my mistakes but I can't look back at things without being so disappointed in myself.

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>Like female best friend romantically
>these feelings come and go
>some reason can't ignore
>probably due to spending an increased amount of time with her
>can't tell if she likes me back in that way
>She can sometimes be all close with me hugging etc
>sometimes cold af
>not sure whether to tell her how I feel
What do?

>>16633334
Okay, well I love this girl and here is the problem; we dated for about 5 years and we broke up a few months ago. She still texts me sometimes but she came over my house around Christmas and gave my parents gifts so we hung out and we hooked up and I ate her out. Well she went back to her home state for a week which she hasn’t been to in five years and she hasn’t texted me at all, now fast forward to today im spamming the shit out of her phone and crying like a little bitch, she’s telling me to fuck off.
I love her guys with all my heart she was there for me when I went through basic training and there for my graduation and the moment she came down from the stands and hugged me she was crying it was the greatest moment in my life. Now she wants nothing to do with me. I can’t handle these feelings guys, I can’t move on even if I wanted to.