Help me please advice I love her..She tried to let's just be friends me
>I told her I think she is beautiful and I can't see her that way
>She said she isn't interested in being more than friends, now pic related happened last night
>She doesn't want to be my friend but wants me to see her at religious events, and her friends will be there wtf? I have never been in love like this in my life guys this sucks, she said she isn't seeing anyone else
What should I do
Pic related
>>16622181
Stop. Now. Just stop. Never contact her again. Never think about her again.
>>16622181
You can't make someone love you. If she doesn't feel that way about you then it's time to abandon ship. There's nothing wrong with feeling shitty for being rejected but don't be mad at her for it. Find another girl to pine over.
>>16622188
Fuck dubs... I know guys, but she was always sitting near me in uni intentionally, even when I moved away. Eventually I gave in got her number, and we started goingt to events together.
Now she says she would be happy to see me at events, but doesn't want to be friends.
It feels like she told her friends I was going to be there, and they are bringing guys to, and she wants them to get my approval, and if we are "just friends" we can't be defined as "dating" it sucks...
If I asked her if she wanted to just end it now, why would she then proposition me to go to further events, knowing that I made it clear that I don't have platonic feelings for her, and she said she doesn't want more than a friendship with me, it doesn't make any sense...
When I said we can just end it for good, why would she keep it going?
>>16622216
Either she secretly likes you and is too afraid to admit it (fuck that) or she's keeping you around as an option (fuck that)
>>16622222
Quints of clarity. Thank you man, I have a sneaking suspicion that she wants to shit test me with her friends.
and "get to know me"
I feel like if she didn't want me at all she wouldn't respond, ask me to go to events with her, and introduce me to her friends. and drink at dinners together
She knows that we will have sex if we are "friends" and hanging out, which is against our beliefs...
I'm converting religions to hers, to something that is different for people typically within my racial background...
Quints, if you truthfully loved someone, wouldn't you do if for them though?
She is 10/10 hot, and actually has morals.
>People thinking confessing works in real life the same way it does in chinese cartoons
Ya blew it
Since it's clear nobody has ever had a crush on you, you obviously don't understand how awkward of a position you put her in by saying you do. She never return your feelings
This is a classic case of emotional abandonment, its not your fault and its not her fault. You both have been raised to meet the emotional needs of people don't meet your emotional needs.
It is completely unhealthy and destructive.
Become more of a emotionally balanced person to avoid situations like this.
>>16622262
>I'm converting religions to hers
What? She rejected you!
Maybe I'm a bastard but this doesn't seem worth it. Why go to these events and torture yourself? Come on man.
>>16622367
It's true, but just because she rejected me doesn't mean that she didn't open my eyes to a lifestyle that coincides with my morality...
>>16622391
Why would she even invite me though if she knew that was the case?
>>16622306
please explain in more depth
>>16622286
she lets just be friends me,,, I talked to her on the phone about it drunk later..
I tried to stop talking to her, and a week later I gave in and confessed so i could get it off my conscious, because it was driving me mad.
I told her I wanted to be friends, but I couldn't lie to her about having deeper feelings,
and she said she tryed to be friends with guys who wanted to date and it never works.
I said we are different and can she make one exception
then she said she isn't changing her mind, and she will see me next week if I decide to go to the event
That was the last text, and I didn't text her back after than last night
>>16622415
As far as inviting you, maybe she is just trying to be nice. In any case maybe it's a good chance to stand up for yourself, that she doesn't have you wrapped up. Even if she may secretly like you isn't this kind of behavior a turn off?
Let me get this straight. You friendzoned yourself and then you're complaining that she wouldn't let you friendzone yourself?
>>16622638
Yeah, seems weird, this events only thing.
Her saying she'll see you at events is her being polite. She's saying you guys don't have to go out of your way to avoid each other. She's not trying to connect.
>>16622552
Honestly, I like when people deny me affection it makes me want it more. It's sad that I can only enjoy pain, and forcing myself on people...
>>16622638
She friend zoned me after I invited her to watch Star Wars
>I just want to make sure we are on the same page I'm excited about our friendship, but I'm not interested in being more than friends
I responded saying > I've only thought about us as friends, where is this suddenly coming from?
> We talked on the phone, and said both of our positions
> I stopped contacting her for a week,
> invited her to new years, she said she had plans
> so I confessed that I thought she was beautiful, and ive been in denial about her not liking me
> then she said thanks, but I am not interested in being more than friends
> then I texted pic related
TL;DR
> she friend zoned me
>I said we were already, a week later I admitted that I don't really feel that way
> Then she wouldn't let me friend zone myself
> I said we could end it
> she said she wanted to go to events with me
Is this dating? or is this denial? Or is she purposely making it confusing so she doesn't have to take responsibility if it falls through
>>16622738
Yeah it feels like we are dating, but she doesn't want to admit it, or she literally doesn't like me but I don't give a fuck because she would still let me hang out with her
>>16622748
" I would be happy to see you at group events" and " i
ll see you at the event if you decide to go" honestly that isn't trying to connect?
>>16623003
>honestly that isn't trying to connect?
Yes. That sounds like "No hard feelings"
>>16623007
Guys I forgot to mention that I am black, and she is white.
At the events I am literally the only black person.
Typically a conservative white girl would be embarrassed to be seen with a black guy in public, \among a group of our peers within her religious circle, it literally makes no sense that should invite me to this just to friend zone me.
I feel like she may be embarrassed to admit she dated a black guy if it didn't work out. That could permanently tarnish her rep in reality.
>>16623038
But she would also be called racist if she tried to shut you out just because of your race.
I friendzone'd myself after only hanging out with a girl for only 1 month
>>16622222
quints check'd
She made it explicitly clear that she doesn't see anon as anything more than a friend, and anon's advances have turned her off from even that. Anon got dumped back to acquaintance-status
>>16622262
>converting to her religion
you dun goofed. never change core beliefs for a girl like what you're doing. If you two were married or seriously dating, it'd be a different story, but you got shot down.
>>16622181
You cut contact, completely. Yes, seriously. Then focus on improving yourself, and try to forget about her.
>>16622216
>>16622262
You are delusional. She is not seeking approval from her friends. The tone, vernacular, and outcome would have been much different when she rejected you. Make no mistake, she rejected you, and it will not change; this girl seems to know what she wants, at least in this area, and it isn't you.
She does not want to go with you to these events, but said that she would see you at said events, with an emphasis that others would be present. She said this for three reasons: to be nice, she will see you there regardless, and you were obviously pushy.
It sounds as if she has experience in situations like the one you have put her in. Now you are no longer a friend, but an acquaintance she is forced to see due to these events, in which she will not miss as they are obviously important to her.
This does not sound like love, but intense infatuation, as it is all about you. Your mental gymnastics, and rationalization prove it, actually.
>>16623046
>But she would also be called racist if she tried to shut you out just because of your race.
Well... It is... I wouldn't call her a racist for it though she knows that.
>>16623083
>She made it explicitly clear that she doesn't see anon as anything more than a friend, and anon's advances have turned her off from even that. Anon got dumped back to acquaintance-status
Possible, but why keep me as an acquaintance if we can't be friends?
>>>16622262 (You)
>>converting to her religion
>you dun goofed. never change core beliefs for a girl like what you're doing. If you two were married or seriously dating, it'd be a different story, but you got shot down.
Dude she is inviting me to events for her religion, and I am not even apart of it! I had to do something I felt like her friends were dissing me for not being apart of the religion, because she cited to particular reasons why she didn't want to date. She said I wasn't experienced in her religion, and I was too controlling. I asked her if it was because of physical differences and she said no.
>>16623148
I'm not apart of the religion, and SHE STILL invited me.
She knows I am the only black person there, but STILL invited me.
She initiated us hanging outside of university at these events!
After the phone call, she said she hopes to see me at the events still.
I text her saying we can end it, and she still invites me.
You are right she rejected me, but she IS still inviting me to all this shit though
>She said this for three reasons: to be nice
no
>she will see you there regardless
no she invited me
and you were obviously pushy.
> we can give it time or end it now
> being pushy
pick one
Yes it is mental gymnastics, but telling someone you don't want to be their friend, but you would be happy to see them literally makes no sense. The only scenario were that makes any sense is dating, after they said you can cut ties
I admit that I should end it all, but I am already in too deep...
>>16623202
She 'invited' you as you are converting, and anything you did as friends is exactly that, friends. However, that is before you were delegated to a zone even further removed than the friendzone.
She is being nice, as it is the moral thing to do, while also maintaining her distance.
She did not invite you. She said she would be happy to see you, in the presence of others. Once again, being nice.
You acknowledged being pushy in a previous post... Besides, you gave her an ultimatum, and she basically said nothing will come of this, not even friendship.
How delusional are you, to seriously believe you are dating? What she said is the equivalent of asking someone to hit the bar with you, and they say not a chance, but maybe I'll see you there.
Too deep? How much experience do you have with women, how long have you known this girl, how involved were you with your previous religion, and why not ask her if you are dating now, just to clarify?
I legitimately feel as if I'm being trolled.
>>16623291
Actually we were both invited in group text by some random person we met at the events like two or three weeks ago before I told her I was converting, then she said she would be happy to see me there.
She said she isn't sure I'd we can be friends
I'm not sure we're you pulled the bar analogy from
Converting religions I'd considered deep
Maybe she wants to get to know me first, and she wants to see how I act around her friends, that is realistic
I'm not trolling
Maybe this is here way of dating without feeling guilty about it? She only has female friends. It's obvious something more than friendship is going on between us and she wants to get to know me. Dude I already graduated she would of just stopped responding to my text, and made zero effort to go to the same locations as me
>>16623403
Your mind is already made up, the mental gymnastics are becoming worse, and you are not even attempting to view this objectively. I don't know why you bothered making a thread, to be frank; I suppose you wanted us to reinforce your delusions?
Nothing else to be said, really, more so when factoring in the questions you don't care to answer.
Good luck. Remember this thread, and how we tried to help you, as you will learn something when this reaches a conclusion.
>>16623291
How much experience do you have with women,
This question is too vague? I have fucked at least 8-10?
I have dated, and been in relations, and had fwb.
how long have you known this girl
3 Months?
how involved were you with your previous religion,
My entire life? The religions are similar?
why not ask her if you are dating now, just to clarify?
Literally nobody I know ever asks girls if they are dating. You just hang out then become exclusive, part ways, or become friends, everyone knows that
>>16623546
what questions did I avoid
what implies that I am the one using mental gymnastics, and you aren't the one using them though?
I'm not sure if we can be friends, I would be happy to see you at events in a group.
> she doesn't want to friend zone me she wants to get to know me better
> she doesn't want to be friends at all, she is just being nice when she says "happy to see you at events" and literally doesn't mean it at all
it can be interpreted both ways, if she says she would be happy why would I assume that isn't what she meant
I wanted advice on what to do, as in what would an alpha do to confront the situation at hand. And alpha wouldn't go "OMG a scary event with her friends RUN", but fuck ti I guess it's all beyond hope now, maybe I just don't give the same amount of fucks as the average person
>>16622181
smoke crack
maybe punch her in the tit
>>16622222
sweet dubs, the first time I see such a nice number, God damn
zoom out and get some bloody perspective m9. Whatever her feelings are, she's doggin you , and playing weird games.
She sounds like bad news, if I was you Id 'get t'fuck' as we say here in Ireland. (Leave her and never think of her again)
>>16623969
Yeah seriously. How can this 'feel like dating'? It's done, it's over. You could be missing other opportunities by being so hung up on her.
Nigga are you converting into a black jew?
