>>16608037
>>16608037
The root of most jealousy, I find, is insecurity. The way I am working to overcome it is increasing self confidence. Also, knowing that she chooses to be in a relationship with you- you can't control if she cheats or not, but if you find out she did, then it's not the end of the world, you can just dump her. But meanwhile, try forging a sense of trust and see what happens, because you might as well just trust her rather than letting your insecurity sabbotage the relationship. At least this is what I am trying.

Im not worried about cheating just what other people will do. I am insecure but i hide it well and have come an extremely long way in terms of self confidence and such. Jealousy has crossed my mind but im not sure what i would be jealous of in this situation, also i appreciate the reply

>>16608055
Maybe a "FOMO" (Fear of Missing Out) type of feeling?
Hopefully those other people would respect you! I know my boyfriend gets upset if I hang out with people that don't respect him/the relationship, understandably. It's important to confront that kind of behaviour if I want to keep spending time with those friends.

She is not 'yours', but the people she is around should still respect your relationship.

Yes! FOMO that narrows it down. I fear im missing out but i still fear something could happen, not just by people i know its a generalized fear, there's a lot of fucked up people out there

Am i just a jealous person? Or paranoid? I hate feeling this way i know i shouldn't but i cant help it

>>16608088

You need therapy or this will only get worse, also, like the other anon said, improving your self confidence might help, relationships are supposed to be a happy part of your life, if the things you feel most of the time is paranoia and jealousy, then its not working for you and you should fix yourself before entering in one.

>>16608125
I get that i kinda rushed into it after she suddenly came back into my life, im building my self confidence and doing way better than i used to be, i dont feel this all the time im happy too, just at times i feel this way. I don't need therapy just more confidence, although I'm not sure what difference thatll make

>>16608037
Go with your instincts. She could be kissing other guys for all you know. Put a tracking device on her phone and ask her where she was. If she lies you know she's up to something.

A lot of the time i have that idgaf and i tell myself to stop worrying, who gives a shit you're too paranoid and all that, it works but i feel myself slip back into those paranoid feelings again

>>16608142
I trust her, its not that at all. She wouldnt ever cheat so don't put that thought into my head

>>16608156
If she wouldn't cheat then what are you worried about? After all, that's implied in your concern.

>>16608167
Im worried that someone or something could do something to harm her and i wouldnt know or would be able to do anything about it

Shes really outgoing and catches the attention of lots of guys

>>16608168
She's lived how many years without you? She can take care of herself. Feel better?

>>16608176
I know and nothing ever happened when we weren't together or ever. I fucking know all this i tell myself all the time, i told you i can't help feeling this way even if i know im being stupid

>>16608181
You care about her and are borderline possessive. If something is out of your control, it's pointless to worry about. If something is in your control, it's pointless to worry about.

I have no idea why im only like this with her, literally no one else i feel this way about its weird, im not possessive i just worry and get anxious about this stuff

>>16608198
Do something else with your time to get your mind of her.

Idk if it was you but what you said about worrying about things not in your control, it really put things into perspective for me. Ima try to distract myself, im feeling better now, I appreciate it

>>16608216
Glad I can help.

>>16608231
Are you open for offering more advice? I have a lot on my mind about relationships right now, it's been years since I been In one and its all slowly coming back to me

>>16608235
I'll listen for a bit.

>>16608257
This girl I speak of has done me wrong in the past, which was years ago and long story short we're together, I have no doubt she likes me, she says she always has, never stopped. I believe her but at the same time there is a tiny tiny amount of doubt in the back of my mind she has an ulterior angle or something. I dont know how or why she would and it doesnt make sense that she would, chicks be crazy though. She seriously did me wrong and yeah its in the past and idc now but obviously I have a small distrust due to what happened. I don't know how to go about bringing this up to her or whether i should just disregard this mistrust and see how things go. Thoughts?

I also have the very same OP's problems. Paranoid and overjealous for no reason, since i'm confident, but maybe insecure. Hell, i don't even know if there's really a ''confident and insecure''. Thing is, does treatment really work? I'm going to a psychologist soon for other problems, but will he really be able to help me with this one? What can even be done, mental gymnastics?

>>16608277
Trust is near impossible to regain once it's broken.

Time is the only thing that build trust. Keep in mind that people rarely change their core values. You have 2 choices. Stay with her and see if she can earn your trust in time or cut your losses and find someone you can start fresh with.

Have you ever read Othello by Shakespeare? You should, then you'll at least know what not to do

>>16608307
I agree, if she can't earn my trust it's probably not meant to be. What else counts as core values though, just out of curiosity.
And I'll read Othello sometime im not big on Shakespeare though

>>16608307
This. Once trust is broken you may as well end the relationship, otherwise you get paranoid as fuck eventually. I hated that feeling so much i think it's subconsciously put me off dating and a relaionship. I'm pretty broken in that aspect of my life desu senpai

>>16608345
Fuck man nail on the head. She broke my trust so its subconsciously making me think she's out to fuck with me again. I need to clear this stuff up with her, we haven't talked much about the past

>>16608330
>What else counts as core values though

Peoples individuals values are different. It depends on if two peoples values match. Values are limitless.

Some examples:
>honesty >religious
>trustworthy >non-religious
>kind
>charitable
>stingy
>arrogant
>mean
>dishonest
>loyal
>disloyal

>>16608358
Thanks