wtf is going on
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hello fellow /adv/isors, I'm in a bit of a pickle and could use some help.
About a month ago my gf and I broke up. We were only together about 5 months, and the last two of them were a bit of a struggle as we were not very compatible sexually. The breakup was vaguely mutual, but she was the one who brought up the idea of "taking a break." Basically she made the coffin and I hammered down the last nail by telling her a break is a no go and that I'd rather just end things.
The breakup was a little rough, but we both agreed that after a bit of time we ought to go back to at least being friends, and although I pushed for a breakup and not just a break, I did have some hope that we might get back together. We stayed in touch for a week or so after the breakup, meeting a couple of times just to clear the air a bit, but after the last time we spoke I haven't really heard from her at all. I've only sent a couple messages, just wishing her a merry Christmas, but as I said she hasn't replied at all. I wouldn't say I'm concerned about her or anything, but I guess I'm a little bitter because she was the one who suggested being friends. She used to be obsessed with me and valued my companionship greatly, but all of the sudden it seems as though she wants to have nothing to do with me, which is okay by me, but the whole situation has got me feeling confused.
I want to know what has been going through her head since the breakup, because I see her fairly regularly and she's been acting weird around me, but she's refused to tell me anything since the night we broke up. So I guess what I want to ask is, how do I continue from here? I do kind of want her in my life, but she's been acting very weird and it's gotten to the point that I'm just fed up with her bullshit. I know I should just forget about her and move on, but that's proven to be difficult since I'm still so confused about her behavior and unwillingenss to explain things to me.
(Cont.)
So how do I fully move on and get over this girl without having complete closure first? I'm just so confused because since the couple days after our breakup it seems as though she's an entirely different person, and as I've said she refuses to explain anything to me.
I can provide more details if need be, just ask.
>Tl;dr: gf and I broke up a month ago, she said she loved and cared about me still and wants me in her life, now she acts as though she wants to have nothing to do with me and won't explain what happened between us. How do I move on without complete closure, or how do I get complete closure?
>>16606257
>>16606251
You two broke up; there's no obligation for closure. It'd be nice and probably better for the both of you, emotionally, if you could come to terms with the end of your relationship, but that shit doesn't always work out.
It's pretty safe to say she's still feeling upset, and is trying to distance herself from you and her sentiments. It was a mistake to suggest that you two should be friends, since you already had a deeper emotional connection between yourselves and that's always going to be an issue. Recognize the fact that she wants nothing to do with you, skip the melodrama, and go find something productive to distract yourself with.
>>16606257
>So how do I fully move on and get over this girl without having complete closure first?
>needing complete closure
Just move on you fucking cuck, it's that simple.
Oh, and while you're at it maybe you'd better move on to reddit too.
>>16606280
You're right. I know what she does is none of my business anymore, but the fact that she never explained things to me has me feeling bitter I guess. I mean I know that being actual friends was never really an option, and I told her that. I guess at this point I'm just upset at the way she handled this whole thing. I thought she was a good person, but the way she's been behaving leads me to believe she's somewhat of a heartless floozy now. Idk maybe I just needed to vent. This whole thing has just been weird for me, I've never been broken up with, I'm always the one doing the dumping, so it's just been tricky figuring out how to fully move on. Like I'm over her now, I have been for a couple weeks, but there are still things that make me think of her, and when that happens I wind up feeling things that I'm not used to feeling.
How about some self respect when you speak with someone that doesn't want to show you any of it. Do the best you can to figure out what's wrong with her. If she's gonna consistently be a child and not tell you, stop caring and keep on with your life. She sounds like an attention whore.
Closure is bullshit. Any excuse she gives you outside of "seeing someone else" AKA she's taking some other guy's dick, will be bullshit.
She'll probably feed you the "I want to be alone line." or some shit or say "you're too good for me."
It's all bullshit. Girls are snakes in the grass. You want to hear her says he still loves/cares/whatever about you so you can feel like there's something there. There is something there, but it's gone right now. She might've loved you at some point, but girls feelings are in the moment and change in the blink of an eye.
Just move on completely. Delete everything, don't snoop on her facebook or anything. The only thing that will fix this is time. I've been through this plenty of times to finally realize this. Just realize it's over and let her go.
>>16606305
>>16606319
See and this is where I've stood on the whole thing since it happened, but the hopeless romantic in me wants to believe that there is a good reason for why she left and that it's not just because she's a shitty person, but it's becoming more and more clear to me that she really is just an attention seeking bitch who has no respect for anyone but herself. Oh well though, her loss.
Thanks for the helpful advice everyone.
>>16606251
Dude.
You care way too fucking much, man.
Closure is a fucking lie. There is no such thing.
Who gives a shit. Just let it go.
>I want to know what has been going through her head
Don't be an idiot.
>I do kind of want her in my life
Nope. Cut that shit out like a tumor.
Knowing why she's acting like this doesn't change jack shit.
It won't improve your life in any way.
Just move the fuck on.
>>16606319
>It's all bullshit. Girls are snakes in the grass. You want to hear her says he still loves/cares/whatever about you so you can feel like there's something there. There is something there, but it's gone right now. She might've loved you at some point, but girls feelings are in the moment and change in the blink of an eye.
Butthurt detected.
>>16606401
call me butthurt or whatever you want. i've been through more serious relationships than you i can guarantee that. you'll realize this once it happens to you. i'm assuming you've never actually even went outside of your house and actually witnessed girls in action?
>>16606408
>I know I've been in more relationships than some anon I know nothing about
>Hurr durr
I fuck girls I pick up on the street, son.
Oh poor fucking baby. Look at you, the grizzled veteran badass.
Not badass enough to avoid shitty girls, obviously.
Just because you date shit tier motel prostitutes doesn't mean all girls are like that dipshit.
>>16606408
>IT'S ABOUT QUANTITY NOT QUALITY
>ALL 100 OF MY SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WERE VARIED AND DIFFERENT
>NOT FULL OF TOXIC WOMEN WHO I PERSONALLY CHOSE AND KEPT CHOOSING THE SAME TYPE OVER AND OVER
>>16606416
come on man realy? OP asked for advice, not lame dickmeasuring.
>>16606408
>"i've been through more serious relationships than you i can guarantee that."
^^ also fucking lame.^^
>>16606251, get your shit together, your ex isn't your shit. "moving on" is the only real way to be shure there is a 'chance' of you coming back together or what not.
>>16606465
I don't care for bragging.
However, if someone wants to pull claims out of his ass, I'm going to answer.
>>16606384
One last piece of advice before you go. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you pissed off. Just act casual around her as if nothings wrong. That's the best thing you can do in this situation.
