Well if she's got a good relationship with her family, you're going to have to accept that her family is who they are. I don't think you're capable of looking past their negative traits though.

Pretty much. Unless you put some serious distance between them. Or if the girl hates her family. Alcoholics suck. I'm fine with drinking but the unpredictability leaves a lot of chaos on the table.

>>16584427

It's like super chaotic. especially recently with her mom ending up in the ER. just, so much added stress. and you're right, it is really hard to look past. so what do I do about it? ditch her and loo for something new? we have been together for a year now.

>>16584426

she always says how important family is to her, but she doesn't necessarily act on it all the time. She talks to her dad at least once a day, but her dad isn't that bad and while is he morbidly obese (350+ pounds) he's a nice dude overall. but her mom is a terror. just not sure how I feel about them being grandparents to my children.

Should add, my own dad is kind of an alcoholic, and caused the separation of my parents. however, he's nowhere near the amount of problem that her mom is. he is a singer, and enjoys playing in bars and open mic nights around town for fun, has some beers, and enjoys himself. her mom admitted to her doctor that she has at least one entire bottle of wine per day, and has gotten blatantly drunk and belligerent in front of me, even the first time I met her parents. just kind of disturbing to think of that being my kid's grandma. my own grandmother was a fucking saint compared to her.

Plenty of girls if you're not a full blown autistic. Move on. Send her to an AA teen support group or something

>>16584471

definitely not a full blown autistic. I could get a new one if I want

just not sure if it's worth it. she's so sweet and thoughtful, even a year later.

I'm at a point where we have been fighting consistently for a few weeks, and in a good position to leave if I wanted to do it. just weighing my options here. she's a great girl and I'm so happy to be with her, but I think of the future and I'm not as excited.

>>16584499

Well there you go, if she isn't the one you want to spend your life with (even with all the bad), then you move on pal. Plenty of nice and thoughtful girls out there and so stop trying to monopolize those qualities to only her.

>>16584503

in the present, I feel no real reason to leave, though, other than the fact we've been fighting for a few weeks. its rough, but we are working it out.

she's strong, and willing to work stuff out with me, which I've never had before. I've had a few girls just leave at the first sign of confrontation. she hasn't and that is a big part of what is so appealing about her. aside from her being such a sweetheart.

I titled the thread as such because I find it hard to get past the family stuff.

I know there are other girls out there who are nice, who are fun, playful, caring, maybe even will give me better blowjobs and let me do anal.... but is it worth giving up what I have jnust because her faimly- something beyond her control- is not my ideal?

>>16584421
Depends on the girl, majority of the time yah

>>16584459
Well then you're going to have to accept at least her father, and her mother too, depending on how close they are. If you can't, then it's better you leave her, because if you can't accept them now, you never will

>>16584660

my main question is:

is it right to leave a girl for something that's this beyond her control?

I understand leaving because the girl's a bitch, not as good in bed as you thought, doesn't communicate well with you, parties too much, gets herself involved in drama, gives terrible blowjobs, or anything else within her control, but what if it's something she can't do anything about?

>>16584683
There is no solid right or wrong. If it bothers you, it bothers you, and there's no way around this. I personally think it'd be a little extreme to leave her over this, especially if her parents are pretty nice people otherwise, but that's just my personal opinion

>>16584700

I haven't even had the chance to meet both her parents normally.

her dad, sure. nice enough guy, not the best example for kids I want to raise (I'm a healthy person myself and would like to raise kids that are, as well)

but, her mom, I've never even seen when she's not blasted. and that concerns me.

and, her dad wants to leave her because of it. which, is great for him, but I feel like having an example of 2 families separated by alcoholism isn't the greatest example for grandchildren. at least one family needs to be sane, healthy, and together, and I figured since my family kind of sucked, I'd try and find a girl with a good family. but, I struck out. I stuck with her because she's so sweet and I thought her family would grow on me, but they really haven't.

>>16584718
Well in the end, if you have kids, the two of you would be raising them, not the grandparents. I'm sure she'd agree that her mother may not be the best babysitter if that issue arose, and I don't think they'd pick up her father's eating habits from seeing him just for a couple of hours on the weekend or for holidays or whatever. And it would be a little hypocritical for you to discount her as a good partner because her parents are separated, when yours are as well. That's just my two cents, it's up to you to make up your own mind.

Im down with the sickness, any time baby. Lacey heart wants my heart, try haqrder

>>16584729
This.

I grew up with no grandparents basically. They all lived 8 hours away.

One was an alcoholic man whore

One died of emphysema before I was born

One was just basically a lump

And the last had MS and threw a shoe at my sister once because 'she's blocking the tv", I mean your granddaughter lives 8 hours away but ok TV is important

Fuck grandparents dude

They're all dead now