So, /adv/, I'm not the kind of man who does this kind of thing, first because I'm not good looking enough to do it, secondI have trouble keeping romantic interest on multiple women, being entirely monogamic. Until now.
I went out with a girl yesterday and today she flat out asked if I was seeing other women. While I'm not actually dating other women, I'm flirting right now with 2 women from Tinder and I have interest in one freshman from uni. I will probably bail on her because no matter how nice she is, I can't stand this kind of question after just one date and after she said some pretty unsettling stuff.
So THE QUESTION IS (TL;DR): what should I do when a woman ask if I'm seeing other people? Should I be totally honest and afford the consequence of looking like some really ordinary and boring man or "hide" with "Even if I was, I wouldn't tell you" or something along those lines? Or anything else?
Note: the woman in question said that she only get envolved with people she might see a relationship and while I'm not dying for some serious stuff, I'm not rejecting the idea either. But she is pushing all the wrong buttons right now.
just be honest you faggot
and by the way talking with some fatties on tinder is barely anything more than chatting with the grocery store clerk while she rings up your tv dinner for one
>>16570180
Dating multiple women at the same time will make you lose your money and your mind.
>>16570180
>I will probably bail on her because no matter how nice she is, I can't stand this kind of question after just one date
It's a common question for people that casually date. She wants to reasonably know what to expect, if she continues with you.
>and after she said some pretty unsettling stuff.
What kind of stuff?
>what should I do when a woman ask if I'm seeing other people? Should I be totally honest and afford the consequence of looking like some really ordinary and boring man or "hide" with "Even if I was, I wouldn't tell you" or something along those lines? Or anything else?
Just be honest. If you grow close and decide you want to try things out, then you have a conversation about exclusivity and break it off with the others. If you're not ready to get too serious too soon, let her know.
>>16570180
You are an idiot. This woman isn't into playing games, she's letting you know what she's interested in, and is asking to know about you to see if you're interested in the same thing.
Girls like this are to be respected. Not mocked because they are more emotionally developed compared to your current dating pool.
>>16570216
I have a date with one of them in two days. The other one I just matched and depending I may also go out with.
>>16570225
Yeah, there's also that part. It's just a uncommon situation for me, like I said.
>>16570231
It is? By her words, she's not the type who casually date since, as I said, she only go out with people she have interest on having a relationship. (I may have been unclear)
>What kind of stuff?
>date on thursday with another woman
>casually ask what she is doing this afternoon, out of curiosity
>"I'm busy today, but free thursday. We should do something"
>I say that I can't because I have this friend (just to cover the other date) coming to my house that day
>"Ditch him :D"
>"That's not how it works. I can't because he asked first (I actually have this rule of "first come, first serve" just to avoid this kind of situation and I will never ever ditch a friend for a girl for no real reason)
>"You prefer see your friend that you can see anyday you want :l "
>"I can't. It's unfair. If you asked first, you would have the preference"
>"You could just cancel it, but whatever"
>we proceed to chat other stuff
>"You could just cancel
This was before questioning if I was flirting or seeing other women. It pushed all the wrong buttons because I don't like this kind of jealousy in any way, specially after just one date.
>snip
I will do it when the time comes.
>>16570312
>I might be going out with one of them later and I matched with another
you're not "dating" them yet, dumbass
>because I don't like this kind of jealousy in any way
literal retard. she's just finding out whether you're interested in casual dating, or serious dating, i.e. trying to figure out if you're right for her. that's not jealousy. Are you autistic? Serious question.
>>16570312
>"That's not how it works. I can't because he asked first (I actually have this rule of "first come, first serve" just to avoid this kind of situation and I will never ever ditch a friend for a girl for no real reason)
kek nice spaghetti
>>16570254
Guilt trip me into ditching my friend like I said on >>16570254 sounds like a game to me and a really shitty one. I apreciatte that she is honest with me but I'm also scared with such pression from just one date. I thought that she was pretty chill, that side of her is really new to me and since it's new to me as a whole, I'm seeking advice.
>>16570180
>not reflecting it back playfully
>Well, if you'll be a good girl, maybe you'll be the only one I date ;)
>>16570180
>"Even if I was, I wouldn't tell you"
That's something a fuckboy would say. Don't be a fuckboy.
"I flirt. Nothing serious right now."
That's it. That's all you need to say.
>>16570332
>he thinks the problem is on her end
she's being up front, open and honest. The fuck is wrong with you?
>>16570180
Not OP. While I'm in agreement with your message overall, don't use the term fuckboy. It is an incredibly stupid fucking term that has picked up popularity from SJW bandwagoners and I'm pretty sure it makes mockery of jail rape, which is pretty ironic considering.
>>16570352
that's the most SJW comment i've read in a while
>>16570356
Nah.
>>16570325
Well, if nothing goes wrong with the first, we will go out. But "flirting" with others was part of the question aswell.
> she's just finding out whether you're interested in casual dating, or serious dating
She already asked it yesterday and I said to her what I said on the note. And on the next day, she asks if I'm seeing other people. If that's not jealousy, what is?
>Are you autistic?
[spoiler] Probably not. I'm just socially awkward [/spoiler]
>>16570331
What spaguetti, man? I didn't freak out or anything.
>>16570312
>This was before questioning if I was flirting or seeing other women. It pushed all the wrong buttons because I don't like this kind of jealousy in any way, specially after just one date.
I wouldn't say it's jealousy, necessarily, but it does sound like she's the type to jump in and get attached way too fast. She also doesn't seem to respect your boundaries. If you don't want to ditch someone that you already made plans with, which is the polite thing to do, then she should understand.
>"Ditch him :D"
Sounds like she was shit-testing you early on, too, instead of outright asking if you were seeing others. This is just bizarre behavior.
>>16570331
He didn't spaghetti. A decent person would actually respect that, instead of attempting to manipulate him into feeling bad for not putting her first. He has no reason to put her first yet.
>>16570180
Don't tell her. Keep playing along and get to know her better.
But I agree, those are orange flags and I wouldn't say that to a girl after fisrt date, especially since nothing happened apparently.
Also, don't listen to the others telling you she is the perfect waifu, they are part of /r9k/ invasion. She's clearly a jealous woman and potential drama queen, that's what you need to check.
>>16570333
I'm quite playfull, but as I said, this multiple women thing is new to me, so I was caught of guard. I will remember in the future, thanks.
>>16570334
Eh, you have a good point.
>>16570376
yeah but it does tell her that maybe he doesn't like her enough to break the rules for her. and we all know how much girls love to feel speshul.
he could've said "i'll break the rule just this once, just for you, cos ur so speshul to me", then he could've made her vagina tingle
but he chose to go full stone cold autist. here's hoping she can put herself in his shoes, cos you guys certainly can't.
right now she's probably thinking he's making up some dumb excuse to not see her / doesn't like her enough
>>16570384
>Nothing happened
We kissed, but nothing too intense since we were on a crowded area. But even so, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
>>16570369
She seemed unhappy, of course, but let it go, we texted most afternoon and tonight. But the simple act of asking such thing is scary as fuck to me. I have bad experiences with needy women, don't want another one.
>>16570390
Even if she was my girlfriend, I would ditch a friend for her if there's no good reason. That's just insane.
>>16570471
who knows.. maybe she'll see this as alpha and him, despite the autist that he is - as a respectable guy who stands his ground
or maybe she's immature and she'll remove him from tinder idk
who cares..
>>16570390
>yeah but it does tell her that maybe he doesn't like her enough to break the rules for her.
And she should understand that it isn't at all about her, and they're not at the point where she should be feeling bad about that. I have a vagina and even I find her behavior ridiculous and childish.
>he could've said "i'll break the rule just this once, just for you, cos ur so speshul to me", then he could've made her vagina tingle
Uh, no. That's not autistic, but it's dangerously close to spilling spaghetti. I cringed.
>right now she's probably thinking he's making up some dumb excuse to not see her / doesn't like her enough
Yeah, if she's insecure as fuck. In which case, he's dodging a bullet. She should be understanding and try to reschedule instead of pulling this, "Why can't you focus on ME? :((" bullshit.
>>16570436
>But even so, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
You are right and you should never put all your eggs in the same basket until it gets serious with someone and have a talk about it.
>>16570557
Doing it. Not in a hurry, just chillin'.
