>>16552715
I'd go to a support group, you can meet peopel who know what you feel like

>>16552726
I've done that in the past. But when I get there, I'm always overshadowed by someone who like killed their kid over some heroin, which objectively makes sense. And I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I honestly feel trapped just listening to these people everytime I've gone.

>>16552715
>>16552715

>a girl cheated on me
>and now i want to kill myself

thats literally how pathetic you sound.

>i want to get clean but then ill have to face that alone and that sounds worse than just killing yourself.

then just kill yourself. as dr suess said 'Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!'.

being alone can be a mans greatest asset. which makes being lonely just a really stupid choice. no matter how surrounded you are by friends, families, servants, and mentors, you are still going to be alone, and having a crutch isn't going to help.

right now your brain is rewarding you for being depressed and doing drugs. you feel better when you believe yourself to be this poor unfortunate soul with a heavy burden, then of course the attention that comes with it in threads like this.

>>16552739

this right here kinda proves me point. its not enough to get help, you want to feel validated. and theres nothing wrong with that, but you are seeking the wrong kind of attention

wouldn't you rather be that guy who got his shit together? wouldn't you rather be the guy who did it on his own? the guy who shaped his own destiny and didnt care about whether or not he was alone while doing it? dont you want to be able to brag about that one day? my boss has been sober for 40 years this month.

if you do this on your own, you can be the guy who reaches out and helps the people like you. instead of being the victim who always needs saving, you can be the hero everyone looks up to. it literally just takes a choice.

>i still have no friends, but i feel thats the key
>how do i make friends
>and i mean lasting relationships

do you really think ANYONE wants to be friends with a druggie? i mean sure other druggies but they can't help you, and you refuse to go to support groups that actually have people in your situation, so what choice do you have?

you dont need friends to get clean. You need to get clean to make friends.

>>16552746

all that being said, here is some general friend making experience

>go to meetup dot com
>look at all the local activities they have
>attend all the ones that interest you, even if only remotely
>meet people
>invite them to other activities outside of the meet up

hardcore hobbyists make the best friends and can be extremely helpful in terms of 'getting clean' becuase it gives you something solid to do every day that you cant afford to be distracted from.

as an example
>watching movies leads to getting bored during the second movie and going to score more heroine
>making a movie keeps you so busy and you cant afford to even take an afernoon off cuz you NEED to get this done by that time and this and that and the third thing by sunday.

so try and get hobbies that have goals. great for meeting people, and for keeping you busy.

other ways to meet people
>go to craigslist and post in the m4m platonic section

i know youd think only crazies are there, but theres a lot of people who just arent very social looking for places like that, or even just normies with a boring few hours looking around.

>4chan meet up threads

I've met over 20 people from /b/ and /soc/, most of them i met when i invited everyone to my /b/irthday party. theres some weirdos, but at worse they just wont stop making farting sound effects cuz their autistic. at best you meet a cool friend to play super smash bros with.

>>16552756

>real lasting relationships

this is a dumb question. you don't. have you ever met someone that kept trying to be your friend and you were like 'we dont really have anything in common' or something along those lines.

and they respond with
>thats not what friendships about, its about support and loyalty, and bonds

and hes not wrong, but thats like going up to a woman and asking if they want to be your girlfriend without really getting to know them. then when they say you have nothing in common they go 'thats not what relationships are about they are about love, and taking care of one another, and having kids'

thats how crazy you sound right. you cant artificially construct a real relationship. there is no way to guarantee this endgame, there is no formula. the best you can do is make casual friends and just bond as much as you can.

>>16552746
You sound really jaded. In many aspects throughout your rant, you sound like you've experienced these things really ethereally, not in any real sense. Have you ever been addicted? no. Cause that would be "weak" and that's not what "men" do. "Men" handle their shit and come out on top.

That's what you sound like. I respect your point of view, but I feel like it's very biased in the sense that you don't need to be some financial or physical paragon in order to inspire others. That's also not my goal. I don't want to brag to others that I got through it and made it on my own. I don't care about that. I care about being able to navigate through life in a manner that doesn't bring about ridicule upon me as often as it does.

To further speak to what you said: I never had friends. Even when I was clean, people gave no fucks about me. I have gone to rehab momentarily, and my mother still doesn't even know I've even tried weed. Nobody cares to look into my life, which is a big reason why I started taking drugs. I don't have a problem being alone, I have a problem being lonely.

>>16552759
I've never had that. People intentionally avoid me. So I try to keep to myself to avoid conflict. I feel even worse when the one in a million tries to be nice to me, and in my avoidance am mean to them. That validates what other people say about me (at work, school, etc.), and constructs this kind of global opinion about myself.

>>16552756
I feel like this advice is genuinely helpful though. Thanks anon

I know complaining isn't the answer, but catharsis is cheap.

>Be anxious
>Drop-out of highschool
>Start doing psychedelics
>Do a super mix and go crazy
>recover sanity
>still no purpose
>still tired
>No license, no ged, no job, definitely don't deserve gf

If I could have anything in the world it would be my ged, but something always gets in the way. And now since it has been so long since I've done anything interesting except drugs, I have nothing to talk or think about. It feels like I'm a ghost

What's worse is I have fleeting memories of the greatest feelings I could ever have. I thought I was in heaven and everything was getting exponentially better every second. Turns out it was just serotonin syndrome.

>>16552766

>have you ever been addicted

yes, i met my boss through AA.

>you probably think addiction is weak

no, addiction is normal, it happens to everyone with something at some point. for you its drugs. for me its booze. for fatties its food. what's weak is requiring on other people to get through it.

>i dont want to brag about how i made it on my own

never gonna make it.

>i just want the path of least ridicule

then dont quit doing drugs. they let you live in your own personal world where you can surround yourself with other druggies and never have to worry about what anyone thinks about oyu.

or, you could realize that even the most successful people in the world have been ridiculed anytime they try to do anything remotely positive, but they do it anyways. cuz in the end, success (and i mean personal, not that financial BS you're claiming i said) is going to make you realize the ridicule is stupid.

>never had friends
>people intentionally avoid me
>Even before i did drugs

if i had to guess ur a rather shit person. the entire world doesn't intentionally avoid perfectly normal and nice guys after all.

>global opinion about myself

stop worrying about those external forces and focus on internal. you dug a grave you can't crawl out of because you got that external shit weighing you down. bury it, and the hole wont be so deep.

>>16552783

glad i could help in SOME way at least.

>>16552829
I mean anon, that's not exactly out of reach, what's stopping you? I'm a coke/somewhat heroin addict that is still getting a 3.8 in college and is set to graduate early.

>>16552829

>definitely dont deserve gf

this is a silly thing to say. true, but silly.

>>16552838
Personal achievement has never netted me anything other than momentary satisfaction. I got the highest SAT scores in my district, I also graduated top of class in high school, but these things mean nothing to me. It's not that I can't take ridicule, it's the arbitrary ridicule that gets to me. It's like when people don't know me and have the gall to make judgments about me.

That's what I feel too. The shit person thing. I don't know what it is about me that people detest. I was a clean, straight A 18 year old 2 years ago and people still hated me. I just guess I'll never know why.

>>16552839
Well, I used to study on khan academy everyday so I could destroy the ged test, but my computer died. Personally I would love to take a class so that I know eventually I will actually get somewhere. But you see, I don't have anyway to get to class. I don't even have glasses so I can't get a license. I wish one of my parent's could help me, but my dad works at the pentagon and my mom is at work literally all day.
>>16552842
Everything I say is silly. I'm a silly person.

>>16552879
It sounds like you have both parents man.... I don't exactly feel bad for you. Just literally sign up for the test online (at a public library if your computer doesn't work), if you can't walk to the library or test, Uber your ass there. Take the bus. Fucking something. You don't even need to study. There have been literal retards that pass that test.

>>16552856

>i just guess ill never know why

if u were anything you are now, id guess that its your personality. you seem like a shitty dude. even saying things like 'i just guess ill never know why' make me want to kek you. if you know that theres a flaw that the entire world is hating about you, dont be so ignorant as to dismiss finding it. its probably really obvious and you just dont want to admit it.

maybe reflect on it. you clearly hate yourself to some degree, so take a spirit walk, re trace your steps, and figure out where it started.

for me it was literally just being told i was smart by my parents. i took this to mean superiority, and grew up treating anyone 'dumber' than me like they were shit, and didnt understand that it was bad because 'who cares im smarter than them'.

ironically when I (or anyone) did this, I (or anyone) was actually putting myself at the bottom of the totem pole. most people with this attitude accidentally make themselves the 'cut off point' for intellgience. if someones have a point less intelligent than you, they are inferior. which means even by my own standards i wasn't very smart at all, just barely on the scale.

but it all started with a 'you're smart' compliment that defined much of my highschool life. something similar might have happened to you. some behavior you have that you believe to be normal for whatever reason but is actually unbearable.

>>16552886
I'm not asking for your sympathy about my parents. If there's anything I'm thankful for it's them. And I'm not sure how tough the test is. It was changed pretty recently to be much more difficult.

>>16552903
That is true, but it isn't even just parents. Professors, Teachers, Parents, and the like all tell me I am. I'm not like Will Hunting or anything, but I am capable of anything intellectually. I'm the only English Major to ever graduate from my college with a double Major in Physics. And I often catch myself doing the exact thing you've mentioned, but without sounding too douchey, I get validated by my professors and mentors. This is a flaw that I;ve been aware of since junior high. I've formally addressed it, but I literally don't say anything to anyone now, and that might be my issue also. I literally do not know what's wrong with me as a person.

>>16552928
I think you should be good to go. A basic sophomore (Algebra 1/ English 10) is said to be able to pass the test with flying colors.

>>16552939

>but i am smart

and that is fine. my personal issue was that i decided that intelligence was the defining trait everyone needed to have. if you didn't you were 'inferior'. in my mind i could do whatever the hell i wanted because other people were dumb.

but being smart doesn't mean you treat people like that. there are plenty of intelligent people who smile fondly at the idiots. they dont coddle or harass them. if you are like that, then its not your intelligence that is the issue. but maybe you are a douche, i dont know you.

again, spirit walk, trace back your steps, back before the drugs, and look at what kind of a person you might have been. there is an answer. the world doesn't arbitrarily hate you.

>>16552944
This article says otherwise
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/01/13/ivy-league-grads-can-t-pass-the-new-ged.html

Also, I have never passed a math class. I was so depressed/anxious in highschool that I would just sit in my chair and think until class was over. Then I'd get up and throw away my homework or test and walk out. That was if I was even there.

I feel like some people are just inherently more shitty than others. I'm not equipped for life.

Guys, please. I mentioned this briefly in another thread, but here's the story...

>be me, 29 and still in uni
>have classes with a female professor from exchange program
>notice myself falling in love with her
Should I ask her out? I'm afraid of both if she declines and if she accepts, but I cannot stop thinking about her!

Odds are I'll have classes again with her in the next semester; so if she declines, things can get quite awkward...
However, if she accepts, I need to deal with the fact I'm dating a person from another country who'll eventually go back home.

What should I do?

>>16552981
I'm sure the test is slightly more difficult, but there's a million ways to go. Every county has a way for you to earn your diploma online. The speaker in the article was ascribing his education to mean that he was more intelligent, but here's brass tacks: he's old. I guarantee you that a younger person is able to pass the test because of the way we were educated. The last time he was in school was 10 years ago. I also guarantee you that we wouldn't be able to pass the GED from WWII the HE brought up in his argument because standards change so often.

>>16553011

dont ask her. normally im like 'dont be a pussy and ask her out' because you got nothing to lose, but this would just be embarrassing.

i rarely use this sort of thinking but because you will have to see her every fucking class next semester, its going to be shameful
>you are 29, and have hots for teacher

i dont care how many older people there are in the class, shes not turned on by it

>you are asking her out
>its against the rules and she could get in trouble
>and she has to deal with seeing you every day

>>16552715

you are going to spend your whole life waiting for 'friends' to come along and you are never going to take the time to actually quit the drugs because you're still waiting for them.

they arent coming. fix now, friends later.

>>16553055
Like I told the other anon, I didn't have friends before the drugs. Why would I after them?

>>16553065

because you literally said

>>16552715
>i have no friends, but i feel thats the key
>how do you make friends
>and i mean lasting relationships

are you high right now? cuz you're awfully contradictory you're the one who said you cant get clean til you have friends.

>>16553047
The weirdest part is, I don't even find her "hot"... like, she isn't my type of girl at all in this regard - she's weird, she looks out-of-place even when compared with other exchange professors, and she isn't even a good professor.

The thing I feel for her honestly isn't even sexual, like, I can imagine myself hugging her, cooking for her or stuff like that just fine, but I barely think in sex.

But then how can I get her out of my head? I'm feeling like I was 15 all over again...

>>16553070
From context clues, you can infer that I am assuming that that might be the key to finding genuine happiness. Thus alleviating the need for momentary patches (drugs). I have no way of knowing, that's why I'm asking how one makes friends. Is that clear enough for you? Or do you want me to draw you a picture?

>>16553073

this happens. i remember the last time i fell in love. i was holding auditions, and this one guy kept submitting his headshot. i thought no way in hell, hes ugly, dorky, with a REALLY retarded haircut, he looked like he had a cone on his head, it was the worst. horrible teeth, so many fucking freckles etc.

but then i finally caved and let him audition and it was love at first site. still hated every little detail but i wanted to marry the hell out of him.

as for getting over her. time? thats all there is really. some people also like to fuck around with others, some people prefer celibacy.

>>16553081

>from context clues you can infer that I am a retard

yes, I can infer that. you are contradicting yourself.

like you just said your first post is
>friends would help keep me off drugs, how do i make friends.

right HERE:
>>16553065

>i didnt have friends before the drugs
>why would i after them?

implying that you are not interested in making friends, despite what you said in the OP.

this is a contradiction, and why im calling you out on being stupid.

sorry i had to draw a fucking picture for you to see your retarded statements anon.

>>16553088
The elicited notion you should receive in those statements is that drugs are not the defining factor as one anon was attempting to tell me. Simply getting off drugs will not automatically make me the most popular guy in the room. I DO have an interest in making friends in the same way you have an affinity for weak conjecture.

>>16553083
>but then i finally caved and let him audition and it was love at first site. still hated every little detail but i wanted to marry the hell out of him.
Did you two eventually get married?

>>16553099

nope. we never even dated really. beta as that sounds, the situation was a bit complex.

>>16553097

>HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS THEY ARE THE KEY TO GETTING CLEAN
>i didnt have friends before drugs why would i after.

these are your two statements. they are contradictory. using a thesaurus does not make it any less so.

>>16553106
>the situation was a bit complex.
I understand... it's this kind of complexity I want to avoid...
(On a lighter side, I just checked the uni's regulations. Looks like there's nothing against it, and some googling even mentioned stuff like that happened.)

And seriously. Thank you.

>>16553114
good luck

I really need to talk to therapist. I think I have bulimia. I'm probably depressed too. I don't think I love my girlfriend anymore, since everything she does seems to upset me for some reason. I think i'm in love with my manager, and we talk almost everyday and text after work and it makes me the happiest and the saddest I've ever been, since she married. I hate myself. I can barely function outside of my job. I think about killing myself a lot. Sorry.

>>16553111
You're pidgeonholing. Without the context, I agree, these are contradictory statements, but if you had the ability to read what he had said, you would understand that he was saying that drugs were simply the cure all to my woes. I disagreed. I noted that there was something deeper, something I was unaware of. Hence, "I didn't have friends before drugs, why would I after?" In the sense that drugs are not the reason I don't have friends.

>>16553126
>I really need help. I don't know what to do.

>>16553126
Same, but for a lot of folks, suicide isn't the answer. What genuinely makes you happy? Find that out and pursue it.

>>16553135

>he
>he
>my
>I

are you the OP or not. were those your comments or not? cuz now you're making off like other people were commenting on behalf of you/OP.

>>16553155
>being this fucking dense

>>16553158

>GUISE IM ON DRUGS AND NEVER ONCE HAD A FRIEND AND CANT FIGURE OUT WHY PEOPLE SEEM TO UNIVERSALLY HATE ME AND I CANT QUIT WITHOUT HELP CUZ ID RATHER JUST OD
>being this fucking dense

say what you want, but of the two of us, im the only one smart enough not to be you. just because you like to swap out for big words does not make anything you say actually intelligible.

good luck with ur whole fixing your life thing.

>terrible fucking friends
>lonely
>failing most of my classes
>numb and depressed 24/7

>be with bf for 2 years (on/off relationship with him always leaving and coming back begging me to take him back)
>both have mental illnesses and addiction issues
>literally the modern day romeo and juliet
>he goes overseas
>cheats on me multiple times after I technically cheated on him after a misunderstanding
>he comes home 9 months later
>we fight a lot, as always
>when things are good, they're really good
>i have major trust issues, always have
>convinced he's still seeing other people
>know he still talks to at least one of the girls he fucked overseas
>love him so fucking much
>think I know deep down he does love me but due to the past, not 100% sure
>had a massive fight 2 nights ago
>bad shit happened
>shit i will probably never be able to move past, but obviously will try
>because muh feelz
>he apparently blacked out, doesn't remember any of it
>he doesn't want to know what happened yet
>i need him to know but can only tell him face to face
>won't see each other for another few days at least
>scared we'll never end up discussing what happened
>terrified that if we do one/both of us will have an episode and more shit will go down

Idk I just really needed to tell someone that. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

>born a bastard
>adopted
>adoptive parents divorce
>go back and forth while being bullied in school
>diagnosed with severe clinical depression
>given a heavy dose of an anti-depressant for nearly a decade, permanently? changing my brain chemistry
>can no longer feel love or empathy, also social anxiety
>have some intense paranormal experiences
>cheat on my loyal gf of 4 years who wanted to elope with and marry me because I didn't love her
>don't really care about anything, spend days lately working out, being existentially depressed and posting dank memes

it's okay though. I don't really care anymore.

>>16555070
That's pretty heavy dude
At least you're not like most people who an hero when they go through shit like that, good for you

Anon, I went through something similar to you. Taking away the power she has over your emotions by not letting yourself use that as rationalization for using is something that'll help you address both problems without them blurring together.
Even if you use, do yourself a favor and take responsibility for it in how you th I nk about it. Don't give the power to change to external circumstances by giving 'reasons' for why you slipped. You may not be free from it physically and I know you'll still have cravings but at least free your mind so you can take your first steps to solving both without having to surrender all hope of progress in one (your addiction) until the other (your coping w being cheated on) is ready to be addressed