So I really need some relationship advice that leans to the sexual side
I am Asexual. I suck at literally everything on this topic. And I have a great bf that every time I go over to his place and we want to do something, it doesn't really work
He's accepting enough that we don't actually have typical sex, but anything else we do either hurts or isn't very good. He's eager to please which is great, but each time he fingers me, it's okay for about a few seconds before it begins to hurt really badly and I wish I never asked in the first place. I can easily do it better myself, which is saddening because I know he just wants to make me happy
This follows up into the fact he really wants to go down on me. We have only attempted this twice, first time it felt good and I enjoyed it but the second time he said I tasted awful and I made him stop. I'm an unhealthy person with decent hygiene. He said I could get some special soap to fix the problem but I still live w/ my parents and I have no fucking clue what to do. I desperately want to see if there's a way to fix both issues but this one takes priority.
So basically, is there any way to get my sex life sorted out/how do women make themselves taste better? On his side he only needs handjobs so even if I am not the best he seems okay, which I'm eternally grateful for. I just am lost on the rest.
>>17368811
You're not asexual. That is something i have to make very clear!
And the problem with bad tasting vag can be fixed with a special soap designed to the area. Your mom can most likely tell you where to buy stuff like that
>>17368825
I am an Asexual that realizes that I have to do sexual stuff to keep a relationship going. There's nothing more attached to it/I wouldn't be desperate for advice like this on the internet if I didn't feel I needed it for my bf's sake.
If I ask for the soap, she's going to wonder why, and I don't want to go into that.
>>17368832
You are talking abouy enjoying stuff and wanting to try stuff with your bf. An asexual just doesn't have the drive, it's not because it hurts or anything, they simply just don't get turned on.
How old are you? Your mom shouldn,t be surprised that her daughter with a boyfriend haves sex
>>17368811
>I can easily do it better myself
If by "better" you mean get yourself aroused or even orgasm, you need to teach him how you do it. No exceptions. He doesn't know how to please you yet, so teach him.
>I tasted awful
Bad tastes/smells there normally require a gynecologists attention. If you don't have one, go see one. In general, the vagina itself does have a taste. If he's too, ahem, pussy to enjoy it, tell him to stay on your clit.
>I'm an unhealthy person with decent hygiene.
Barring chronic illness, these are things under your control. Find the will to improve yourself. You seem to have identified a powerful motivation in improving your sex life.
>>17368832
>>17368834
You even talk about masturbating yourself, whichs fells better than when your bf does it, you're not asexual
>>17368834
I don't get turned on, and I don't have a drive for it. But I have a motivation to make my relationship work by any means possible, if that makes sense. He likes doing these things, so I have to go with it
18. It shouldn't be a big deal no but I'm horribly anxious and can't drive to pick it up myself..
>>17368836
I'll try harder then, ty vm
>>17368844
You said you masturbate so thats a drive and you say it feels either bad or good, which is also a sign that you get turned on.
I'm sorry you really want to be asexual but you're not, you just have a hard time enjoying sex because you're nervous and not 100% sure what you're doing.
Go to matas they have it 100%, they acutally have it in most stores that sells soap products
>>17368852
You seem to be under the impression that Asexuals cannot masturbate whatsoever or have sex. That is closer to celibacy, and entirely different. Asexuality means you do not feel the urge to do any of these acts, but many asexuals will do them anyways for various means (as in pleasing someone else, or experimenting). I say it feels good or bad because that's a physical sensation, and pain is pain regardless of 'orientation', that is based more on feelings/drive- the portion I lack entirely.
I really don't care about being a special snowflake or Asexual, as it has only made this harder for me in the long run in my relationship. I'll try to search around for a store nearby that holds the soap you're talking about, though.
>>17368867
Ow btw. It's important to never wash yourself with regular soap in the private area it fucks up the Ph value and makes it smell and taste bad
>>17368867
Not the same personn but...
I doubt you're asexual because you sought a partner. I am asexual, and although I admit that I have had sex in the past due to whatever reasons (I first tried it as an experiment, I was drunk, I was high, etc.), I have never actively sought a partner because I never wanted to and it would be pointless. When I still went to group (parents thought it was a phase I needed to talk through), almost everyone that stayed throughout (didn't eventually realize they were nervous or angsty) had the same experience where they felt no desire to even be with someone.
>>17368867
Celibacy is the conscious decision to abstain fron sex for whatever reason. Asexuality is the lack of desire for sex, even masturbation.
>>17368867
Why not just say you have a low sex drive? That seems more accurate a label than asexual.
