so my girlfriend was beaten and raped every day form the age of 9 till 13 form her uncle and at 12 she got pregnant and was beaten till she lost the baby.
shes very Christian and doesnt believe in abortion so she feels like a bad mom for not protecting her child and she has nightmares every night about it and she would cut herself.
so now that we are together she promised to tell me if she felt like doing that again.
but last night she told me she cut her self yesterday.
she feels bad about lying to me. but im happy shes still alive.
im 19 and shes 17
shes keeping our relationship a secret form her parents because theyll make her quit work and she loves work.
this girl is my first kiss and we feel like we will be together forever.
so i just want to know what advice you guys have.
i can explain more if you want.
and sorry for the bad english
>>17367690
Is the Uncle still alive, and if so is he in prison?
Also do you have his address if not?
>>17367690
This is clearly the go ahead for rape fantasy roleplaying.
Find out what aftershave her uncle used.
Get out now op, you'll thank me in the long run.
>>17367711
he died at 27 last year because of a seizure.
and a week before he called her and apologize.
no joke
>>17367722
im scared this will happen
>>17367723
shes not crazy or anything.
and ill only leave her if she cheats on me.
which she wont do
oh and im the only person who knows about any of this.
not even her parents
>>17367753
>not crazy
>cuts self, blames self for rape, extremely religious
Pick one.
>>17367762
I'd say you should be more open to her parents if you really want a longterm relationship. She'll have to tell them eventually anyway.
But really, they don't even have a clue about this? They deserve to know. Probably not the day you meet them, but sometime sooner better than never.
>>17367767
this is the first time she cut her self this year and when she moves out she said she can promise it will never happen agian.
okay its a litte crazy she blames her self but im trying to help her with that.
and shes not extremely religious.
>>17367753
>shes not crazy or anything
Define "crazy". We aren't qualified to diagnose, but she's certainly showing strong signs of severe PTSD.
>>17367767
This
I know it's not the advice you want to hear but it's the advice you need. I'm sorry but sooner or later you will need to let her go. I was in a similar relationship as yours until recently, and it was first a couple of months ago when I seriously considered killing myself because of all the senseless drama and horror that I realized I can't spend my entire life trying to fix someone that's broken. No matter how much we loved each other. I know it fucking sucks and hurts like hell, but it will get better over time. Some day this pain will be useful to you. Good luck OP
>>17367779
well ive met her mom a few months ago.
and i met her dad two weeks ago when i was at her house i was in her room with her and her sister and he came home and said if he saw me aging he whould kill me.
and im try to get her to tell her parents.
she says she will when she moves out
>>17367791
crazy like hurt someone or me.
she loves to help people.
everybody she knows thinks shes fine
>>17367800
Her dad fucking threatened to kill you?
Holy shit this family isn't right. Get the fuck out while you still can!
Honestly, can you imagine marrying this girl? With all her unsolved issues and batshit crazy family that comes with it? With the rapist uncle and father who threatens to kill teenage boys. If you don't intend to marry her, don't you think you're putting in a little too much effort in what's essentially a fling? And if you're really in it for the long run, what the fuck man?
Have some dignity and do yourself a favor.
>>17367814
we intend on getting married.
her family is druged up all the time and she has no hope of ever seeing them again.
and i know it might seem crazy but theres not really any drama with her.
shes perfect all the time except for last night
>>17367835
From the sounds of it, the only hope for a successful marriage would be to completely cut her off from her family.
Do you think she'd be able to handle that?
But I can't imagine trying to marry a woman whose father threatens to kill me. It really sounds like a "choose them or me" situation.
>>17367837
yeah.
we joked about running away to canada but now we think it might be reasonable
and thanks for all the replys i just wanted someone else to know whats going on and talk aboout it.
and i know she might seem crazy but shes not.
shes really smart and fun to be with
>>17367797
thanks for this.
i would hate for this to happen and i dont think it will...but it could
and i feel like i cant leave her.
i love her to much
>>17367852
>and i know she might seem crazy but shes not.
>shes really smart and fun to be with
So was my ex. She was the most fun girl I've ever met. And extremely beautiful and smart. A natural both in the kitchen and with kids. A real people person. Everyone liked her, except for bitches jealous of her looks. Hadn't it been for her horrible childhood trauma, fucked up family and downright evil ex boyfriends I probably would've married her. I've never connected with anyone like with her. But I've never cried because of anyone but her either, not in my entire teen and adult life have I cried but because of her and what she did to me. When the shit hit the fan it was like all my worst nightmares combined. I have physical scars because of her, as well as mental scars. People with childhood trauma are damaged to the point of no return. Some people are just broken, and I'm sorry but dating a broken person simply doesn't work in the long run. Read my other post again
>>17367797
>>17367873
its strange how close you described every thing i feel up to the shit hitting the fan.
i mean like spot on.
did you ever think that would happen to you?
im not sacred that will happen but its really strange reading all that
>>17367888
Yeah I had a sickening sense og deja vu when I read your story OP. I hope you end this relationship before you get too invested. How long have you been together?
>did you ever think that would happen to you?
I had a bad feeling shit would get crazy when she told me of the self-harming but I ignored it. The few first months went pretty fine, we only had a couple of small fights. Then the weekly fighting started. And the paranoid jealousy. And the manipulation. I told myself it would get better and that I had to hang in there. I couldn't imagine going back to life without her. I loved her more than I loved myself. Part of me still does, but part of me hates her as well... After two and a half years she cut me when I tried to stop her stabbing her own throat.
>so my girlfriend was beaten and raped every day form the age of 9 till 13 form her uncle and at 12 she got pregnant and was beaten till she lost the baby.
It's shit like this that makes me not want to live in this world anymore.
>>17367908
we have been best friends for a year...and been together for almost a two weeks.
this is why i ask now and not later.
i mostly want advice on how to help her.
but hearing this is werid.
and i just dont feel like any of that will happen...im going to stay with her but if something happens ill remember you.
anything you think would help us be together without any drama
im in a similar situation, im not saying for you to do this, but i know that if this doesn't work out im done with life and ill probably off myself. It seems fine right now (been about 4 years). The personal trauma tho that she went through wasn't nearly as significant as that and even with the shit i went through again not nearly that bad. Ill tell you this. Its a 100 percent commitment. Everything im doing is going towards this relationship because she is the only one who can make me happy because she relates to my pain. I couldn't take her leaving.
>>17367767
The greatest scientists and philosophers in history were extremely religious.
That has no place in the list of things you put there.
>>17369123
being a great scientist and philosopher doesn't mean you can't be crazy. It's actually a requirement.
>>17369127
Crazy != autism
