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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Alright. So I've been with my girlfriend for 4.6 years. Pretty soon I will be proposing to her and sealing the deal. We live together and have an incredibly healthy relationship. Everything is as close to perfect as it can get except one thing that is a pretty big deal to me. I have an extreme love for anal sex. She on the other hand doesn't really like it much at all. She allows me to do it out of love, which i greatly appreciate. We have been doing butt stuff for wuite a while now, but it is mostly just on special occasions or as sort of reward for me. You can tell when the topic of anal comes up its kind of like a chore for her. Obviously you cant brainwash some one, but is there anything that can be done to help change her mindset? We have tried multiple different tricks as far as warming her up and getting her to relax, but she just isnt into it. I would love for her to match my opinion on it but that seems unrealistic. Even though there probably isnt much I can do, any and all pieces of advice are appreciated! :) Hopefully there is at least one person that has something for me on here lol.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long winded question
Side note: Toys are out of the picture. Neither I or her want to incorporate them. ( Other than a butt plug, but she would be against that from the start.)
Also, even after how long we have been doing it, she still has a fair amount of pain every once and a while, and can get cuts super easy while Im warming her up, even when Im gentle.
I'm assuming you properly lube up right? You said you ease into also? How long do you wait? It takes my wife a good 5 minutes to relax enough for me to actually start thrusting.
>>17363596
The lube part is tricky. She is very picky about it and doesnt like most of the ones we have tried as they are "Too thick and dont clean out easily" she perfers lots of saliva, which i know isnt the best route to take. As far as waiting for her to relax, i guess now that i think about it that is a part where i brush over. She gives me the ok pretty quick after entering but there is clear discomfort. Maybe she is just eager to get it over with?
>>17363617
Like you said, she probably sees it as a chore. I would definitely try to convince her to allow you to use some lube as it would make a much more pleasant experience for the both of you and definitely don't brush over her getting completely comfortable/relaxed before you start. It would elimante a lot of the tearing and what not.
>>17363650
Also, I don't know if your girl would be into but mine loves having her clit played with while she's relaxing around me.
>>17363552
i dunno mang. my wife LOVES anal sex and i'm pretty happy about it. your loss.
>>17363650
I will definitely give it a shot! I do think the biggest part is the relaxing, as i can be quite aggressive if im not paying attention. Also, Im curious on your wife's opinion on anal? if you dont mind me asking.
>>17363670
She's actually the one who wanted to try it first. I was pretty vanilla before I met her. But she loves it, and even let's me finish in her. I lucked out when I met her haha.
>>17363552
goddamn OP why don't you let someone stick a dick up your ass and see how much you like it then we'll talk. There is a perfectly good pussy really close that was made for a dick. Hit that
OP it would be much easier to give up the idea than to convince her it's good.
Why do you have to get what you want in this situation??? I mean ffs its anal gross.
>>17363918
This.
I've heard silicone-based lubes work better than water-based lubes. You could try it.
But I think it's going to come down to, "Do I love her more than anal sex?"
>>17363552
Do the Carolla Method:
1. Shit into mason jar.
2. Duct-tape bagel on top of jar.
3. Microwave jar 30 seconds.
4. Fuck the warm bagel/shit.
5. Eat bagel.
>>17363617
Holy shit, she sounds insufferably picky. If she's letting you do anal out of love, tell her to let you handle it all and you'll make it as good as you can for her. Then really spend your time slowly warming her up. Use quality lube. Don't brush over it. And just get a toy, for fuck's sake. It'll make things easier for both of you. Use a plug or small dildo and fuck her normally while you use it. Make it clear all the time how hot you find it. Be enthusiastic, and then be enthusiastic about any sexual desires she has.
>>17364488
You mean she sounds anal.
