Hey guys, so I'm in a very serious hetero relationship with a girl. We have always been honest with eachother and open about our feelings and overall it is a very healthy relationship. A few days ago, she asked what I would think of having a threesome with another girl (she doesn't want another guy.)
Obviously I feel good about her not wanting another guy, but is it bad that I am still uncomfortable with the thought of her having sex with another woman, even when I will be present and participating? I feel like I would get too jealous, but I don't know. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
>>17363260
She's shittesting you. Don't fall for her b8, m8.
>>17363260
Probably best to just say you're only into her. If she's really insistent it's a huge fantasy of hers and not doing so is a dealbreaker, reconsider. It's just better not to go here, though.
>>17363281
Are threesomes really as destructive to relationships as some people say?
>>17363292
Yes.
>>17363295
But why? I mean it makes sense to me since I'm uncomfortable with the idea, but it seems like in today's society it's something that is very common.
I also wouldn't want a threesome, even with another girl. I'd probably drop my gf for suggesting it actually.
>>17363260
Remember the threesome in friends? She's probably secretly a lesbian
>>17363545
It's a pitfall, like a honeypot set up by the feds. It seems like a good idea and it seems to be so rewarding and "Omg it will be so hot" but it just will cause jealousy issues forever
Imagine if your girlfriend saw you looking at this other girl in a way she didn't like, imagine if you saw your girlfriend reacting to this other girl eating her out more than she reacts to you fucking her or something? How would you feel? And what if she's testing you and making sure you say no?
Relationships are a disk sitting atop a foundation. If your foundation is really, really, really strong, and you are both 100% confident of that, feel free to wander to the edge sometimes, but not too often or the disk might fall off its foundation. If your foundation is a bit weak and thin in radius, don't go out too far or your disk will necessarily fall off it and it will be too late - the hurt feelings will persist
Thing is you can't know how strong your foundation is to begin with, you really can't for sure, so just assume it's a bit weak and act as if it is because it will save it
A long lifetime in the level 10 sweet zone is better than an hour in the level 9001 sweet zone, trust me.
>>17363583
This helps a lot and affirms what i was already worried about to begin with, thank you anon.
For more context, after she asked what I thought about it, I told her that I was worried I would be too jealous and that it wouldn't be enjoyable for me to see her having sex with someone else, and that I just wanted her.
She didnt seem disappointed or anything, and told me she would respect my point of view and loved how "pure" I am.
I just worry she might think I'm boring for not wanting to try it out.
>>17363292
If you can keep le feelings from becoming an
issue, threesomes can be fun for awhile. That
means it's the sort of thing to do when you're
not in a serious relationship.
It's not something you can undo.
Worse, it's rarely ever as good as imagined, which can: drive you to keep trying at it, well
past its sell-by date; start a blame-game that
will assuredly turn EVERYTHING sour.
>>17363599
You don't want your girlfriend to turn lesbian and leave you. This happened to me, and a friend of mine as well. It's more common than you think
Don't do it
I've had my share of threesomes in the past with my current bf, who I'm still together (and very happy) with after almost two years, so yes, it can be done. That being said:
>I feel good about her not wanting another guy, but is it bad that I am still uncomfortable with the thought of her having sex with another woman
a lot of people go into threesomes/open relationships/whatever thinking that girl on girl doesn't count as "real" sex or something, which doesn't make sense and imo is kind of disrespectful to, you know, lesbians. Regardless of gender, you will be bringing another person into the bedroom, and yes that comes with certain caveats.
The main concern is that you have a very solid base to start out with, which from the sound of your post seems to be the case. Still, assess your relationship and be very very sure, before starting anything, that you two are on the same page. These sorts of things take HONESTY and OPEN COMMUNICATION, the latter of which can be very difficult for people, especially men (through no fault of their own of course).
Jealousy is a natural emotion and many times it is inevitable and not something which has to be avoided. BUT think of it like any other emotion; you don't have to act on it. When you're mad, you don't have to punch a hole in a wall. When you're sad, you don't have to slit you're wrists. Likewise, if jealousy happens, *let it* happen, but realize that it's just an emotion, which means that you can process it and learn from it instead of letting it fuck with your life.
A good resource is a book called "the ethical slut", which I know sounds tumblr as fuck but if you can overlook the degeneracy they have very good advice. lmk if you have any questions, and sorry if this post is sloppy I'm a little drunk right now.
>>17363633
fuck i can't believe I used the wrong you're/your fuck me
>>17363633
Would you still love your boyfriend if he didn't want to have threesomes?
>>17363743
of course. Relationships take compromise. Would you still love your girlfriend if you really wanted to adopt a dog, but she didn't? (Moreover, keep in mind that after a year or two, she may come around about the dog thing after all... if you catch my drift)
>>17363636
Give me your address and i'll be at the door
>>17363292
look for the thread today of a girl totally distraught after she talked her bf into a threesome and it didn't bring her the desired outcome. I cannot believe you dumb fucks are still considering this foolishness.
