>be me
>21f/goes to really nice school
>last year
>walking out of a club in my home city
>random guy grabs my hand, tells me i am the most beautiful girl ever blah blah
>go home together (first time i'd done that)
>i am 10-11 shots in
>had been privately, emotionally wrecked at that time
>tell him i cant have sex bc i have been sexually assaulted before
>have never told a soul this; not even my best friend
>we just cuddle and start talking
>realize we have so much in common
>talking politics and economics for god knows how long
>he swears to take me out on a date
>next day we go for some really shitty food somewhere and i insist on paying (so i do)
>anyways
>end up cuddling/talking 5 more nights
>he would sometimes ask me about that incident
>seemed very genuine about it
>regardless, i feel like we really connected
>last day we cuddle, when we were hardcore making out, i obvs wasnt gonna have sex with him
>so he masturbates on my bed
>baka
>we were supposed to meet once after that, but never did
>regardless, i delete him on text/snapchat
>he adds me back on snapchat but i delete his request
>fast forward to today: coincidentally studying abroad/working in the same european city as him (his hometown), at his rival uni
>this is all around the EXACT same time as when this shit went down last year
>want to contact him but idk why
>i dont even understand why i am thinking about him
>maybe it's bc we are actually in the same city
>also- last time i saw him, he masturbated on my bed...that would make meeting up really awk.idk
>this is all just weird
>any input/help much appreciated
>>17360337
Some of the wording got off or autocorrected so pls disregards thx
You want to contact him because you felt really connected and had something in common. That's something people value. Yes he was a giant jerkoff, but you were the one who turned him on. Next time don't sleep together with guys you don't want to fuck.
So you are mad at him for masturbating on your bed?
Well, you did not describe the situation good enough, did he do that with your consent or did he just secretly cream your place? Second would be awkward indeed.
Well, I've been with a girl that has been assaulted before but she quickly opened to me and we had sexes. Also had cuddling before.
Well, you know, the guy is there for something, I can't tell how decent he is but he is horny and want sex so I'm not sure if relationship is a good thing, depends on the guy. I could wait for mine as long as she wanted to. Anyway either put a clear "friend" line or be intimate, avoid making him your emotional tampon without profits - that's a decent thing to do.
Also my girl cheated on me once she became opened about sex, fucking bitch, don't do that.
>>17360385
I mean I was/am okay with him doing that. It was just weird in general.
I feel so weird for saying this, but I have talked/made out with a few guys after that incident and never really met anyone that I felt as connected to. It's fucking annoying bc he was/is 'some random guy from the club.' However, I did meet him as I was leaving but it still falls under that grey area of 'people you hookup with and nothing else.'
And thanks for your input, it's interesting that a scenario like that happened before. ahaha I'll make sure to never become an 'emotional tampon' or a cheat of any sort.
>>17360401
I don't understand why you deleted him. I've run across a few guys that for whatever reason we met and clicked so learned to go with it till it ended. It always did but I have awesome memories.
>>17360337
Only contact him if you plan on going through with things this time.
>>17360368
>>17360368
I agree. I mentioned I was an emotional wreck at the time, so that's prob why I did it.
The alc didn't help much either.
Regardless, I thought it would be interesting to meet up for lunch with him, as nothing more than just people 'who once met before,' to talk about life in general, bc I was such a quiet and dark person back then, ahhaha but now I am in a normal state of mind. Like to meet up for the sake of this coincidence of how I am studying here.
I could re-add him on snapchat and he would just think I 'added' him back from last time.
I also find it profoundly interesting that I ended up telling a stranger something private like that, than my family or even my best friend.
>>17360415
I don't want to have sex with him only for the reason of the context in which we originally met? He's literally a guy from 'the club.' I find that to be a disposable concept and I don't think it's worthy of my time- sexually speaking.
>>17360418
meet in the day for lunch you may find the magic is not there now. Your head is in a different place so at least you would know.
>>17360418
Go ahead and meet him. Just be confident.
It's good that you're out of being down. Are you still hung up on sex?
>>17360337
I was away on an overnight trip usually never go the the bar when traveling alone since I'm married. I had dinner alone but stopped in for one drink and a man immediately approached me, he was a well dressed, smiled so I let him sit and we talked for hours. We had a few more drinks, he walked me to my hotel room and I invited him inside. He kissed me and I told him I cannot, I was married and loved my husband so we just took off our clothes and lay together, kissed and cuddled and he started to masturbate and he took my hand and placed it on my pussy and I started to masturbate too. We both came and fell asleep and he was gone when I awoke. To this day I have no idea why I did this but it seemed the most natural thing. I asked at the front desk the next morning for him but he had check out already and they wouldn't give me anything more.
>>17360445
>>17360430
I completely agree, but I am not seeking 'magic' of any sort. He is just another human being like me, and I know we had a positive connection of some sort, I know that I was drunk, and dulled of my senses with context to the depression I was feeling at the time.
>>17360445
Thank you so much for the tips! And yes, I am honestly not ready just yet. I think I'll know when I am, and I am not too extreme about it.
Also, I think I would be very confident in meeting him. I just want to make sure it's not weird AT ALL (like the fact that I am reaching out to him at all).
What do you think, in context to what he may think when I do message him?
I don't want to heighten his ego, and make him feel like I am 'following' or haven't forgotten about him. I just think it would be interesting to reconnect.
And if we do meet up (I think he'd be down), I'd want lay down the concept that I am here to hang out and nothing more.
