So I've recently started going out with a friend, and she revealed fairly nonchalantly that she suffers from a variety of minor physical ailments, as well as clinical depression. She's currently undergoing some medication changes with her doctor, and regularly sees a psych every week.
She's a fun-loving and genuinely friendly person to be around, but she brings up her depression a lot in a joking way and is generally pretty self-deprecating in her humour. There are times when she'll make a joke, and I'm not sure how to react because I'm worried I'll trigger some emotional landmine and deal real damage to her.
Other times, it's obvious that she's hiding genuine sadness or exhaustion under a thin veneer of sarcasm and humour.
Honestly, I just try to be as friendly and supportive as possible, but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to or able to help in any way. It feels like it's out of my hands, but as her partner and friend I feel somewhat responsible for her happiness.
Does anybody else go out with someone who's depressed? How do they feel about it and treat it? Do you treat them any differently because they have it? Do you joke about it?
I'm depressed and I can tell you that it's not very fun for my boyfriend or me. We seen to be in a similar situation, except that the roles are switched. The best you can do here is to continue to be supportive and tell her that If she's feeling down or needs someone to talk to that you'll be there for her. You can't really do more than that, unfortunately, but it might help her alot.
>>17355858
Treat her the same and just be available should she find herself at a particularly low point during the day
She's receiving treatment and seems to have insight into her depression, so let that run its course
>I feel somewhat responsible for her happiness
This is probably a bigger issue for you right now. Stop thinking about it this way
>>17355866
>Stop thinking about it this way
You're right, it's not healthy. I suppose it's more of a reaction to seeing her vulnerable or hurt. Like an instinctual need to make her happy.
>>17355866
This.
I have been depressed for a while and I hate when people treat me like I'm a delicate little flower because of it.
Be supportive, ask her if you have doubts about how to treat her, be nice, but don't be afraid of everything.
Just be supportive. But try not to coddle her too much, and try to encourage her to do things that her depression may be stopping her from doing (as an example as a depressed kid I ended up hating the beach. I mean, I still do now, but it wasn't normal for a kid to hate the beach just because they are sad.) Don't be too forceful though, being told you "have to do something" can feel suffocating when you are depressed, especially for introverts or anyone with existing anxiety issues.
My girl has suffered from severe depression and a few mental disorders that commonly come with the fuckery that is depression. he feels she has the potential to lapse back.
I ain't no physiologist but I feel my support has done a lot to help her.
I recall a heavy conversation she had when we first got together. She felt guilty about her disorders being something that I would have to 'put up' with. And I asked her some questions.
Do you believe you can change?
Do you want to change?
Many who suffer lock them selves in the mindset that they can not change or are not willing to do what they have to so they can change.
I made her admit that she can change. No more hiding behind 'I'm just not the kind of person who can do that" when I tryed to encorage her to do stuff that would other wise be hampered by her disorder.
I beileve that if there was one moment that set her on the path to changing it was admitting to her self that she could.
That, and the love and support of friends and family.
If not available a loving boyfriend and a buttload of chocolate will also suffice
