I have a weird relationship with self-sabotage.
Whenever something I like comes up for me, I do my best to ruin it or lost the opportunity.
Whenever I manage to break/lose the good thing, I feel pleasure all over myself.
For ex. I've got a lot of time to study for an exam and I purposefully do nothing to fail the class. When someone shows me affection,friendship or whatever I ignore them or behave passive aggressively in order to make them mad and abandon me. I purposefully hurt junk food and drinks and don't do exercise to feel sick. Whenever I buy something I like, I break it or throw it in the trash just for the regret.
What's going on with me? Am I the ultimate masochist?
>>17346080
*I purposefully eat junk food
I also like insulting myself with thoughts like "I'm a failure" and other heneric stuff
Also, everytime I get insulted I insult back in order to get insulted more and I feel soo good.
And when someone gives me a compliment I turn it down immediately, trying to insult the person who said it because it causes me pain.
Like "Thanks you helped me Nick, you are so smart" and I would answer "I'm not smart, it's that you're an brainless idiot" and it makes me feel so good when they get sad
>>17346080
Also, when mom and dad try to interact with me I give them the cold shoulder and it feels sooo good to see them disheartened.
>>17346080
im a lot like this too. sometimes i'll hit on a girl in a club (rare) and i think i could get her, but then i leave and tell myself im too shy or something, because the tradgedy of that loss and the self hate is tastier to me than actually getting a girl. maybe its cognitive dissonance, i dont really know.
i am heavily nihliistic in that i dont think anything matters because we die, and theres no meaning, so its whatever really
I'm like this too, to a lesser extent. Not sure why, but I think it's probably because I like throwing self-pity parties for myself. I purposely sabotage myself to feel pity for myself. How retarded.
I'm like this too I notice !
I get pleasure out of getting in trouble or doing something bad. Why are we so dysfunctional?
most of the time I feel numb and jaded.
>>17346333
>Why are we so dysfunctional?
Just one simple word.
Stress.
All of you are stressed and it's your weird masochistic way to relieve that stress out of your system.
>>17346340
If you ever decide and would like you could find new and less destructive ways to do so. Like picking up fulfilling hobbies or so. Reading, painting, etc
>>17346346
>>17346340
genius! thanks for your contribution
Are you guys serious? I can't believe this is actually a legit thing
>>17346617
hey, there's guys who get aroused to floor tiles, everything can be a thing
>>17346514
>Not sure if serious
Oh well.. if you are, you're welcome :)
holy shit i do the same things. i don't get that much pleasure out of it at all but i have these reactions on impulse. i don't fucking get why i do it because i always question it afterwards and try to stop myself.
