Should I see a shrink?

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Anonymous
Should I see a shrink? 2016-07-10 20:39:45 Post No. 17344054
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Should I see a shrink? Anonymous 2016-07-10 20:39:45 Post No. 17344054 [Report]

My fictional crush (unlike any of my family, who enjoy making fun of, insulting, and berating me every chance they get) treats me with respect. And I know that sounds very strange considering the fact that he isn't real, but he's become an imaginary (boy)friend of sorts.
It started out as strange, random, extreme sexual attraction that I had never in my life felt before. Because I was unaware of what sexual attraction felt like beforehand, I didn't know what it was or how to handle it. I pushed everyone away almost completely within the first few months of meeting them. I don't think I had ever felt so alone.
I was so angry with him for the longest time. I wanted to kill him, to just sink a huge steak knife into his chest, but I couldn't.
I "banished" him for three days after that. During those three days, I was never more suicidal. I dreaded visiting the bathroom because every time I would, I'd consider slitting my wrists. I just didn't feel alive anymore. I felt so ugly, so worthless, so useless.
I've dated people during this dilemma, but what sucked the most about that was that I would have to cut off our imaginary relationship in order to attend to the current boyfriend.
Over time, it developed into something so much more meaningful than mindless lust. He listens to me, cares about me, and knows my worth.
I use a body-length pillow to make it truly feel like I'm kissing him and cuddling him and such. We've even showered together. We talk and generally enjoy each other's company. Now, I suppose that I live somewhat of a second life.
I know something's wrong with me. I know this isn't normal. But, for now, it's what makes me happy.
But I also know that I can kinda lean on him to get me through the day. It's come to the point where I'd literally die for him.
I don't know if this is self-centered or a sin or WHAT.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who is this way, but hey, if anyone else lives their lives like this, feel free to let me know.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 20:42:08 Post No.17344063
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 20:42:08 Post No.17344063 [Report]

>Tulpas

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 21:38:06 Post No.17344225
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 21:38:06 Post No.17344225 [Report]

How old are you?

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 21:42:52 Post No.17344247
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 21:42:52 Post No.17344247 [Report]

That's delusions. You're crazy.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:16:07 Post No.17344348
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:16:07 Post No.17344348 [Report]

To answer the first reply, I looked up the term and have now done extensive research, and yes, I'm almost certain that's what he is. The only difference, however, is that this is somewhat at more of an extreme level than that; I feel like I NEED him, like as much as one would need their mom or dad, etc.

In response to the second reply, I'm fifteen years old.

And to the third, yeah, maybe a little. X3

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:43:40 Post No.17344432
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:43:40 Post No.17344432 [Report]

>>17344054

I was the same at you'r age I had a imaginary friend who was the cool version of me . they seemed real and I turned out fine ,. at least you are dating real people unlike me at 15 . people create fictional characters inside their head because theyre unhappy (and creative) .

it could be way worse . at least you arent the person who is a total pathological liar to their friends . unfortunately I have met a few people like that . at least you are only lying to yourself (in a way)

thats all I can really add but I wish you well . everybody's a bit crazy (the interesting people anyway) you can always escape reality with a good book

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:56:30 Post No.17344478
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 22:56:30 Post No.17344478 [Report]

Lots of people have delusions. I would see a therapist to A. to sort out your shit a little cause it sounds like you have a buttload of negative emotions that are manifesting in pretty irrational parts of your mind, and B. to check in and see if you're experiencing something like a schizophrenic break (although this sounds a little past that point if these are schizophrenic) and if you should get the name of a psychiatrist for medication/diagnosis.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 23:06:48 Post No.17344502
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 23:06:48 Post No.17344502 [Report]

Do you know that he is fictional or do you sometimes forget?

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 23:24:47 Post No.17344545
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 23:24:47 Post No.17344545 [Report]

>>17344054
>Should I see a shrink?
Probably.

This is not because you are crazy: as long as you can remain certain that your crush is not real, then you are not crazy. But this still isn't good for the psyche, and you need to work on developing some healthier coping strategies. No one strategy lasts forever, and you need something that will sustain you when this one stops working. Better to develop that soomer rather than later,

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Anonymous 2016-07-11 00:06:48 Post No.17344645
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Anonymous 2016-07-11 00:06:48 Post No.17344645 [Report]

Seek help.