my bf is kinda immature& has sucky friends
I'm 24 my bf is 23. been together for almost a year and a half. ive started to feel like hes immature. whenever hes not working, hes with his friends and ALL they do together is drink.they do nothing else.
I don't want to dislike them, but whenever he asks me to hang with them, I never want to. they also don't really try to talk to me, and talk about things I have no idea about, play drinking games. its boring.
one of them cheated on his gf a couple months ago. he also owns a gun, lives at home with his parents, bought a corvette for 20,000 or however..but still lives with his parents. its so wacky.
his best friend is dating a 19 year old who flirts with my bf in front of me. i dont like him, hes said rude things to me before like comparing me to his ex gf bc i didnt know how to shuffle cards, and other weird things. hes been going to the community college for like four years, finally got an associates degree, is now going there for another 2 years to go into the nursing program.
only one of his friends has a college degree. we live in a small sheltered town, and none of them plan on moving out their parents house anytime soon, and they either go to community college for like 5 years or do something else.
idk, I just feel like he surrounds himself w people who have the wrong priorities, and it rubs off on him, and I feel like hes immature. last night, we had plans to hangout and he asked me to meet him at his friends. they were drunk, and I didn't want to but I said ok. he said it was two of his friends, I went over& his friends 18 year old sister had 10 friends over, I didn't feel like going in bc I wasn't in the mood, I asked if we could just go then he guilt tripped me, said OK ill just go tell my friends I'm gonna bail on them. he was hanging w them all day and I said okay whatever ill just leave then. we got into a big fight. he almost let me left like twice, and he was really drunk
what should I do=/
>>17343022
I just like don't think its right I go over there and a bunch of 18 year olds are there and he was drunk as shit. the only reason I didn't leave is bc I was scared he'd cheat on me? like ahhh, idk what to do, I feel like we're way too different people ....
>>17343022
I'm really unhappy in my relationship but I'm scared to leave. I'm scared ill make a mistake, and I'm just crazy/overreacting..
but I feel like hes so inconsistent too, sometimes hes SO sweet and acts like hes a dream, and then other times hes just like... immature, obnoxious, puts in no effort.....I think that's who he is, and he tries sometimes and that's when I'm happy, but it goes away in like a week and its back to him putting in no effort and doing the bare minimum
>>17343022
ohhh, and I want to break up with him, possibly. but were going on vaca in two weeks and hes paying for most of it. I feel bad going then maybe breaking up with him, but I'm not ready to break up with him yet/know if its what I realy want, but I don't realy see myself spending my life with him anymore.. I'm tired of worrying about what hes doing, him being drunk, doing shady stuff, making me feel uncomfortable.. I realy don't like his friends and I feel like that's a bigger issue than youd think it would be.....
>>17343022
You seem a bit confused about what adult life is in the current year. You're just as immature.
>>17343044
You should at least have a talk with him about it before the trip. Neither of you will have a good time if you're suppressing these negative feelings. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't see a problem or isn't willing to change, then you can leave him. But don't make it all about his friends, because he doesn't control them or their lives, only his own.
>>17343022
>>17343061
I mean what am I supposed to say to him??
ive already told him that I feel like he drinks/goes out a lot, and I told him I feel like his friends have the wrong priorities (sorta). like when he told me his friend just bought a 20,000 corvette I was like wow, but he still lives at home? and he didn't really say much..
like idk what to say? you drink too much, and you shouldn't be drunk around other girls? have the wrong priorities? idk. like I really dread hanging out with his friends. like I hate being around them. literally all they do is drink, everytime ive hung with them we play drinking games or go out for a drink, and theyre boring to talk to, and don't try to talk to me anyway. theyre really uncultured and like things like guns, and living with their parents.
I'm planning on moving in the fall, so my bf will still be here. maybe that's when we'll break up? like I need to move on and start my grown up life, and I feel like him and his friends never grow up. hang around teenagers and don't act like adults...
>>17343061
but also, I'm not gonna be like hey you cant hangout with any of ur friends, their bad influence. lol that's psycho and abusive. but I feel like he has a lot of potential, hes just around the wrong people.....
>>17343059
no idea what you mean. and I don't like corrupted people of 2016 who cheat and whatever and act like its no big deal. no thanks I think for myself, don't live up to "expectations" of the current year.
>>17343080
You complained that the men live with their parents still even though the majority of people your age are doing that. No one can afford to move out.
>>17343087
not really... a lot of the people I used to be friends don't live here anymore because they all moved away and started their lives. none of my old friends still live with their parents.
but not only that, but I live in a small town and theres nothing here for people my age-the ones who still live here just drink/do drugs bc theres nthing else to do, and they just rather not pay rent and drink than actually move out, live, be responsible and independent.
>>17343071
>>17343076
Then maybe you're growing out of the relationship, because you're not happy or fufilled with the way things are going and you want a different future for yourself. It seems like he's holding you back, or just not on the same level as you, and if you're ready to break up and move on I would do it as soon as possible. One thing I've realized is when someone shows you who they are, you can't change them. So even if you stayed together because he promised to quit drinking so much, he personally didn't see the issue with it, or with his friends, he would still have the same mindset.
>>17343114
i agree I don't really believe in making people change. like they are who they are and if you don't vibe, you don't vibe.
and yeah I do feel like he holds me back. I kinda felt that way in the beg. of our relationship and I was hesistant to get into it, bt then I got attached and a lot of time has gone. and I feel like ive been held back a lot.
ive been teling him he should move out, or move with me (I planning on moving fall) but he always has different excuses. hes just scared to be an adult, and I'm not waiting ten years for him to grow up.
idk. like Ii don't wanna break up with him when we have plans for vaca in two weeks, we already have the plane tickets and stuff. =/ but idk. I just don't see this working out, I don't think hes right for me, hes too immature and has the wrong priorities. I wanna be successful and while I appreciate having friends, I don't hang out with people EVERYDAY. that's way too much and I feel like if youre constantly hanging out with people, when do you have time to take care of your life? I think hes just too invested in other people and theyre kinda sucky people to begin with.
hes really uncultured =/
>>17343130
he's really uncultured emoticon line break line break comma splice
At least he can read and write (hopefully). If not, break it off but also kill yourself.
>>17343155
oh hey I'm gonna go on 4chan and tell people to kill themselves because they don't feel like talking properly like their writing on essay on a fucking forum. grow up. anyone who actually goes online and tells people to kill themselves (for being laid back about how they type) has a lot of growing up to do, or youre just a sucky person in general
>>17343170
Not the same person but there is no excuse for writting poorly on purpose.
Even worse if you deem other people uncultured.
>>17343170
>oh hey I'm gonna go on 4chan
Your first mistake.
>don't feel like talking properly
Impressive.
>youre just a sucky person in general
Wow great argument fagtron, you sure convinced me with those hot opinions.
This should be obvious but your relationship problems are imagined, it's just your insecurities making you come up with all sorts of wild stories and rationalizing everything so it's his fault.
>>17343170
>write like a four year old
>other people are the immature ones here
Makes sense.
>>17343176
theres no excuse for telling someone to kill themselves on an online forum.
>>17343185
Yes there is. Ususally because the recipient really needs to kill themselves.
>>17343185
Grow up you dumb slut.
>>17343185
There are and even if there weren't it wouldn't make you any less of a hypocrite.
>>17343022
Your dating a degenerate manchild while not being a degenerate yourself. Of course it won't end well.
>>17343196
Nice samefagging
>>17343196
You new here? These trash whores never mention their own faults or anything they've done. From what we've seen so far she's an adult baby parasite too. They're practically made for each other, but he doesn't have enough money and she doesn't have enough looks.
>>17343171
Look outside, I know that you'll recognize,
it's summertime~
>>17343198
You can't quote one person and call them a samefag. At least tell me who you think I'm samefagging.
>>17343205
What I said is accurate. Just because she's not a degenerate doesn't mean thst she's a good person, although that does seem like the qualification nowadays. She should just break up with him before the vacation. If not then she's just a whore who's as equally uncouth as he is.
OP, sounds like it's time to break up. You're not compatible. It should happen before the vacation so he doesn't feel like you're just sticking with him for the money.
But, with that said, people like you annoy me. I don't understand why people feel the need to say "well I'm too grown up for that," or "REAL adults don't do this kind of thing anymore." Who are you to say what people should think is fun? Or that they're somehow lesser for their interests?
Go find someone who wants to spend their evening sipping a sensible glass of wine and watching Netflix after a full day at the 9-5. You can slowly wait to die with them.
>>17343059
>le 2016 meme
T. Drug abusing retard who just can't get a job (what's up with that?)
Why don't you break up with him?
You need a nice guy.
You sound dumb as shit. Who do you live with? Let me guess, mommy and daddy also. I think he doesnt wanna move in with you because he knows what a piece of shit you are. At this point, its just pussy to him. The time he has with his friends is THEIR time. You might as well break up with him, you'd be doing him a favor.
>>17343071
Learn English and stop being an insecure, judgmental cunt. Also, why the fuck did you reply to yourself a bunch of times? Are you literally retarded?
What's wrong with being a gun enthusiast? It's a sport and a collector's hobby. Stop trying to control your boyfriend and find someone who's a pretentious asshole like you
>>17343185
Literally kill """""urself""""
Or fuck off back to tumblr or whatever. How can someone call people uncultured and write like a 12 year old?
>>17343943
>Drug abusing retard
Reaching too far.
