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Anonymous
noko
2016-07-09 15:01:04 Post No. 17340028
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noko
Anonymous
2016-07-09 15:01:04
Post No. 17340028
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>Be last year
>Be me, 20y/o
>Just outta 5yr online relationship
>Was pretty much my only consistent friend in the world the entire time
>Lost place I was living in last summer
>phone broke, lost internet
>had to move in with strangers
>started smoking weed daily
>made friends I think
>new bf, been together 9 months
>he's relatively socially adept
>I have problems getting along with other women (mum gave me a hard time) + anxiety disorder + pretty isolated life (bullied kid, homeless from 16 onwards, no rl friends etc)
>not sure if aspergers or lack of practice socialising but I fucking suck
>Like I really fucking suck
>Turns out I have a nervous stutter/twitch/mild trichotillomania & other tics I didn't fucking know existed because I've successfully avoided everyone until now
>Selfconcious about it obviously
>Never knew I was this bad
>Weed is helping mostly
>On mid dose prozac/propranolol, can't get doctors to help me any more than that although they all seem to agree I have a "severe case"
>Agreed to let a girl straighten my hair yesterday because I thought I'd finally get to experience same sex bonding but I actually just flipped out and started yelling then apologising then crying because what the fuck do girls actually like having somebody stand behind them fucking with their hair with burning hot irons?
>girl is mad at me, bf is mad at me
>says I really need to get used to people or we're done
I'm embarassed enough to consider just dumping him and saving both of us the inevitable social scarring. I like him too much to make him "that guy who dated the psycho," and I have a lot of paranoia about whether he or anyone else talks about me behind my back already etc. Thing is, we're in the homelessness thing together and he's relying on me to get a place with him because he needs people. We're actually a pretty good couple despite the obvious, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to people, if I ever can or if I ever want to.
Is it worth it, /adv/?