For girls: My gf wants me to be friendlier with her friends and there's a lesbian couple that wants to do sort of double dates stuff with us. What are some good things to do?

>>17339626
Go out for dinner, go out for a drink, go to a concert, go to minigolf or stuff like that, movies, have dinner at your place and play games. Depends on what they like.

When I go out for dates with my best friend and her boyfriend we usually go to the movies or have dinner at our place.

For other girls:

How do I know if I'm being strung along? I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now but he doesn't want to become exclusive. I just got out of a long (5+ year) relationship so I'm not really sure how dating works anymore. I'd think that by 3 months he should know whether or not he wants to be a couple, right? We're pretty much a couple except for the label, so I don't understand this apprehension. Is this 3+ month thing normal, am I being too impatient? Please help, I am socially retarded and don't know how dating works.

>>17339651
You are perfectly justified. Just ask him. If heavies you the runaround, either forget him or go ahead and date around yourself. If you like him too much, but he is still fucking around, then cut him loose. Look out for yourself.

>>17339674
Pretty much this.

>>17339651
>We're pretty much a couple except for the label, so I don't understand this apprehension.
He wants to keep his options open. Three months is more than normal to know if you want to be exclusive or not.

I work for a third-party healthcare agency at a facility. Would it be a bad idea to ask out one of the staff? I've always follows not sticking the pen in company ink.

Is it weird to think some of the questions on OKC are inappropriate? I tried making an account, and when trying to fill out a few questions it asks me stuff like how I like my womans pubic hair. I can skip the question, but wouldn't it seem a bit unsettling to a woman if she saw a guy was putting information like that out there? I can't tell if I'm just prudish or if there's something to it.

>>17339651
>seeing this guy for 3 months now but he doesn't want to become exclusive
Going off of this: is that normal?
I'm a dude and I probably wouldn't even consider dating multiple girls at a time, it'd feel disrespectful and whoreish. Am i just old-fashioned?

>>17339783
The questions and answers are used to profile your personality for a match. Look at other peoples profile answers and see what answers they give. I like to write detailed commentary on mine because the multiple choice questions don't often have simple black and white answers for me.

Ps. I think you're a prude. Just answer the question. Lol.

>>17339824
It is normal if you are in USA. Where do you live btw?

I know I'm probably going to be called an idiot for this but here goes

> Have gf
> Slowly grow to think she's the one
> However we're both in bad places (depression) and we slowly drift apart
> Break up, NC for 3 months
> Try to talk to her after, feelings still get in the way, talk on again and off again for a while
> Get into a fight, things awkward again, she blocks me
> NC for a year
> Try to forget her
> Talk recently again just to see how each other is doing
> She's got a new bf now
> Realize I'm still in fucking love with her goddammit

It's driving me insane. I thought she was the one so much that I just haven't been able to let go.

What should I do? Should I just block her completely and try to erase her from my life? I don't know if that would help, since long periods of no contact failed to make me forget her. But that's what I'm thinking. One last hail-mary last ditch attempt to try to get back what we lost, and if it fails just never speak to her again. Just not sure how to go about it.

Men: What do you think about a girl who is both childfree and petfree and wants neither, ever?

They're expensive, needy, and bothersome. They limit freedom. They're dirty. Etc. I'm probably the minority of the minority here. How hard will it be to find a husband who shares this opinion?

Do girls like being fucked for awhile after they cum?

I always hear "it's so hard to make a girl cum" for me it's the opposite. I have to really concentrate to cum with a condom on. I fap maybe once a day if my gf isn't around.

Sometimes I just don't cum. I usually get her off in a position she likes, and then I need to flip her over and fuck her while she lays on her stomach. She says she really likes it, but I get the feeling she is annoyed at not cumming a second time, because I often have to fuck her for almost as long as it took to make her cum. She always complains later that her vagina is really sore. Or she gets really annoyed when I don't cum.

It's be nice I think if we could cum in tandem, but I never can.

Is there a secret to the fabled 2nd orgasm? She sometimes says that she is really close. She can't cum from penetration alone, but says she sometimes feels like she might after the first from just the penetration.

>>17340027
That is ok. The problem are your reasons for not wanting them.

>>17340027
It's not that hard to find a no child guy. But virtually all the men who don't like dogs are weird like, "tidy-bowtie-penny loafer" males. If you are into that.

I have never met a man that I think a woman would find conventionally attractive who doesn't like dogs. But there must be one somewhere out there. Guys just really like dogs.

>>17339930
Get. Laid.

>>17339876
>not that anon
Are the answers to all questions visible? Are there ways to filter matches absolutely based on certain questions? How do I use the questions to find girls who are as prudish and conservative as me?

>>17340027
You'll find a boyfriend very easily, but maybe not a husband. Guys who want to take that extra step are likely to want children. If you're okay with just being a very long-term girlfriend, you're golden. For me personally, you'd go straight to the trash.

>>17340042

> hurr get laid

That's some dumb fuck advice anon do you not think that I've already tried that to get over her

>>17339930
You're better off just removing her and all traces of her from your life completely.

>>17340027

In the short term that's a convenient attitude for someone I'd like to fuck

In the long term that's a really dumb, shitty attitude and frankly I'd only ever tolerate you if you were good in bed and I'd dump you in a heartbeat for something serious

>>17340027
You're fuckbuddy material, FWB at best. Either that or just find yourself a manchild.

Girls:
Had first date with a girl, went really well we kissed each other, shes a real sweetheart and shares some interests with me, but shes a bit naive and shes too chubby for my taste.
How do i tell her that i dont see a future between us, mainly because of the fact that i just dont find her attractive enough due to her being too chubby.

>>17340053
Didn't sound like it. Did you try or actually do it?

Also start dating other people. Move on.

There is no magic "get over her" technique. Like anything in life, when some shit sucks and there isn't anything you can do about it you have two options.

A: Curl up in an ass ball.

B: Go do something else.

Until you get over it or die. I don't have the secret ingredient nigga, didn't you watch Kung-Fu Panda?

Women, what makes you have a mother-like feeling to a boy/men.
This has happened many times to me, women, usually older than 30, develop some kind of mothership sentiment towards me; you can tell by the way they treat me, defend me, the questions they ask, etc.
I don't why exactly this happens and i don't see it elsewhere frequently.

>>17339619
Been dating my girl for almost 4 months now. Great relationship and communication.

I took her virginity about a month in. Since then we've had sex averaging about once a week which is cool with me. I have a much higher sex drive than her but she kinda makes up for it by letting me do anything I want with her any time I want. Even when she's not horny, because she says she still really enjoys the feeling but she's just not horny. I feel bad about "using her" but she constantly reassures me she's enjoying it and doesn't mind me fucking her when she's not horny. Sometimes she's wet from me touching her (and she still wouldn't be horny) and sometimes she's not, in which case I use lube.

Now the thing is she's rarely ever horny and it's been like this since the beginning. There are certain triggers that make her horny, but her horniness literally lasts for a couple of minutes before she becomes unhorny. I've also never been able to make her orgasm through oral, PIV, or fingering. She gets close and then pushes my hand away because it gets too sensitive. Sometimes while I'm fingering her she goes from wet to dry. We do have good communication, I ask her what feels good all the time and even when I repeatedly do that feel good motion she eventually gets dry and "bored" of it. Once she started getting upset because she couldn't orgasm and just told me she's accepted the fact that she will never orgasm. Ow my ego but whatever I still want to try.

I'd say we were sexually incompatible but considering the "compromise" we have going on, I'm totally satisfied. I just want to satisfy her for once. Sometimes I wonder if it's me but I truly think she is simply not a sexual person.

>TLDR: gf is a weird sex anomaly opinions?

Another topic got me thinking;

Ladies, what are your thoughts on an unpassionate man? An otherwise good and pleasant person that simply does not react or express very emotionally. What's your reaction to this person trying to pursue a relationship? Or just as a person that you are in frequent contact with i.e. at work?

>>17340047
Don't quote me on this.. Best if you look into the dynamics yourself to confirm, but...

- If you skip a question it doesn't count towards any sort of match criteria, obviously.
- You can choose if individual answers are made public or not, the option is there when answering. Don't know if it still counts towards making a match or not though.
- You can see what percentage of answers are similar between you and another profile. Either in the match results or on an indivials profile.
- On an individual profile you can see the percentage match breakdown by sub categories like sex, lifestyle, dating, etc.
- In the advanced search criteria you can look for people who answer their profile details a certain way.. Like if they have stated they are a smoker. But I don't believe you can filter by specific questions that make up the match score.

Man.. OKCupid is so good for describing and defining yourself, but it sucks that anyone can send you a message, cause women tend to get bombarded by randoms and rarely reply to legitimate messages.

>>17340042

That was what I was afraid of. If it helps I'm really into personal finance and travel. I think a lot of those types also dislike pets for obvious reasons. Every guy on tinder gushes about their dog, except some guys still in college. I feel a bit like a pedo going for guys 18 and 19, little college sophomores. But they're the only ones still unattached to pets and kids.

>>17340047
>a very long-term girlfriend

I want a partner to spend the rest of my life with.

>>17340058
>>17340059

Nnn.

>>17340034

Why is that bad? Pets are just a huge burden.

>>17340060
Go back in time and choose not to kiss people you don't find attractive.

>>17340060

Just dump her and move on. You really don't have to justify yourself if you don't want to date someone. A girl won't lose weight even if you point it out, not until she thinks it is a problem.

>>17340071

They don't see you as a man. Sorry.

>>17340084

I'm that way myself so it would be hypocritical to say it's bad in guys. It has pros and cons.

>>17340084
I really couldn't care less if it's a coworker but I can't be in a relationship with someone like that. If you are emotionally invested in a relationship and in love with someone who gives no feedback back it is horrible and makes you not want to care anymore either.

>>17340102
>Why is that bad? Pets are just a huge burden.
People are a bigger one. If you are unwilling to put up with pets or children, there's a fair chance in the mind of a lot of people you won't put up with them.

An unburdened life is an unconnected life.

>>17340102
>Guys in college don't like dogs or dont care
Nah man, like ever guy thinks about a dog and a yard for their post college life.

>>17340102
>anon, describe children in 4 words
>expensive, needy, bothersome, dirty
Same thing applies for pets but it's less 'shocking' or whatever.
>>17340113
Of course they see me as man, mothers see their children as men. I'm not trying to be in a relationship with them.
I want to know what triggers the maternal instinct.

>>17340074
bump

>>17340145
>what triggers the maternal instinct.

Small, pathetic things that can't fend for themselves, need protection, and are thus cute.

>>17339824
I think this is a cultural issue. I'm European and over here the onus is on you to speak up if you are getting laid somewhere while trying to spark a relationship with someone else. If it is revealed that you were involved with others, no technicalities will help you save face.

The idea that you are absolutely normal and justified in fucking someone else right up until the minute that you proclaim to be exclusive with someone you supposedly have feelings for is entirely creepy to me and something I only know from stories online.

>>17339783
Personally I think it's a tasteless question. Isn't part of the fun of growing closer to someone that you get to ask those intimate things that you wouldn't want everyone to know about?

>>17339930
Realize that it's completely normal to have a surge of feelings when someone close to you and still special to you is suddenly off limits and obviously starting a new life. It is also safe to harbor feelings for someone who is not in any concrete way an option. This makes it tempting to project any romantic longing and nostalgic feelings on her, whether or not that's accurate.

Block her and try to move on. It's kind of shitty to try to tug at her heartstrings when she just entered a new relationship, and it's not going to be a memory you like recalling.

>>17340119

I expect a grown man to be self sufficient. Yes there are a lot of people I don't put up with. Toxic people, addicts, people who always have their hand out.

>An unburdened life is an unconnected life.

I just want it to be me and my husband going on awesome adventures and having good sex and food together. I don't need anyone else.

>>17340120
>a dog and a yard

"american dream" type lifestyles make me want to puke. It's very smothering and claustrophobic. I hate yards, too. Just another expense and hassle. I'd rather live in an apartment where someone else does the maintenance and crap. Housefree, childfree, petfree... I don't get why people want to make more work for themselves.

Is it okay to put that I don't want kids or pets on my tinder?

Other girls: was there ever a point when you felt like you really didn't want to have kids but you changed your mind at some point? If so, how old were you when you changed your mind, and why did you change your mind?

I'm 18 right now and I still feel like I really don't want to have kids, like I feel like that lifestyle isn't for me and I'd be a terrible mother. But at the same time I don't NOT want to have kids, like I'd be missing out on something that could be great.

I'm feeling really conflicted right now and I don't want to turn away a guy I could get serious with because because I feel like I don't want kids right now but he does, but then I turn around later and I want kids but he's already with someone else. Or even worse, if I end up deciding I really don't want kids and I've wasted this guy's time by staying in a relationship with him... theoretically.

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>>17340027
While I wouldn't have a problem with a woman who doesn't want kids or pets.. it would be her inability to manage a situation that involves them that would lead me to feel she isnt a capable and mature person.

>>17340042
I'm not a massive fan of dogs, not the type of person that dogs bark at all the time though, just that many of the dogs I've come across have shitty owners that don't wash or train them properly. I prefer cats because it's almost like they're born domesticated, and whenever I rush to open the door in the morning cause my brothers cat is sitting their waiting - it looks at me as if to say 'Calm down dude.. I'm not gonna shit in the house.. Why the fuck would I do that?'

>>17340178
While I may disagree with every opinion you hold, I simply shrugged and didn't have anything further to contribute, other than wishing you luck.

When you mentioned Tinder in the context of seeking a potential husband, however, I concluded that you're a fucking idiot.

>>17340060
Tell her you like several things about her but realized that beyond the initial pull, you really don't see any future for you and you don't want to lead her on. Don't go into detail.

>>17340071
It could be the way you subconsciously act towards them - looking for approval, seeming like you need guidance. However provided that you are a lot younger than them, I also think it's completely normal for a woman to start feeling a bit maternal if she grows fond of you. It is the most natural dynamic for a relationship that is both not sexual and where you don't see the other person as truly equal (because of the difference in maturity and life experience).

>>17340074
She sounds like she has a conflicted relationship with sex that is ultimately grounded in not understanding herself. I didn't realize how I could masturbate and get myself off until I was eighteen, and before that time I used to have similar feelings. The issue is that it is really, really unsexy to feel like you are sexually broken. So in her case it is likely not just a matter of being clueless and not knowing how to handle her pussy, but also of having years of disappointment, hostility towards her sexuality and her body, feelings of being inferior and so on.

I do think that this is something that can be fixed, but it needs to come from her primarily (it is also MUCH easier to make yourself climax for the first time than have another person do it) and it seems like at this point it is easier for her to embrace not being able to get there than to buckle up for probably another disappointment. This you can't change. This could be something that takes her years. For short term advice, I would say with all my heart: try to let go of your expectations, try to forget about making her climax, try to focus on having as much fun as possible between the two of you. Focusing on making her cum is more likely to strain your sex life and ultimately make it into a loaded chore, than to do you favors.

>>17340180

24 and still haven't changed my mind.

>>17340184
>inability to manage a situation that involves them

I don't understand what you mean. I'm quite responsible, I have a good degree and career, I've never missed paying a bill, my apartment is spotlessly clean. I am catsitting right now actually. I've had pets before. I've rehabilitated animals, taken up caring for other people's pets because they were being neglected. I just don't want pets. Aren't you reading a lot into it? See, that's what I'm afraid of, a guy seeing that I don't want pets and assuming I'm a heartless terrible person. I love animals. I just don't want any.

>>17340188
>a fucking idiot.

Feel free to rec a better method.

>>17340084
I wouldn't care if this was a coworker or something, but I would not be interested in getting in a relationship with someone like this. It is just entirely unsexy to me (who wants to fuck someone when you can't imagine them displaying enthusiasm and lust in the bedroom?) and also means that we'd be incompatible, at least from my side. Having said that I am quite passionate myself so that probably has a lot to do with valuing it, I doubt that my view is universal. The idea that real men are stoic isn't pulled from thin air, and now that I think about it even some fiery women prefer to have that off set by a reliable and even tempered man.

>>17340216
Any other dating service. Tinder is for hookups, not finding a future spouse.

>>17340209
Just saying as someone who only lurked the comments you got, but I think ultimately most of these reactions are just being fueled by finding it unattractive. Wanting to care and mother babies is seen as the ultimate feminine nurturing instinct. I think the knee jerk reflex of a lot of guys is that if you don't want that and don't want pets either, you are probably not sweet, not an attentive partner, not that feminine. All the reasons you mention are perfectly reasonable, but if you combine those they come across as kind of cold.

I think you'll have an easier time breaking this to someone in person who already has an impression of who you are, than just as an abstract hypothetical without a face attached to it. For what it's worth, just my two pennies.

>>17340231

I tried ok cupid and hated it. All the guys were weirdos and creepy. I've gotten long term boyfriends or at least guys interested in that from tinder.

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Girls:

Last night, while having sex with my girlfriend, I came a little bit too early. She didn't come during sex which was my goal. I just shrugged it off, pulled out, made out with her and started to finger her. I did this for about 25 minutes with no results (aside from her rolling around on my bed and moaning a lot). She still didn't come but she clearly enjoyed it. During this, I noticed she was menstruating. Though this doesn't bother me too much, it is a bit of a turn off. After the 25 minutes, I accidentally poked her clit and ruined the mood.

She wasn't too bothered by this, she only comes (on average) about every other time we fuck. I just decided we could try sex again. I try to hold off as long as I can but we have to stop early because of interference from our neighbors/a phone call from her friend.

I felt bad about her not getting off so I decided we should have sex again. I owed it to her and I would put up with the blood. I ended up coming a little bit too quickly again, but she was very close. We collapsed into bed and she looked at me and asked me to eat her out. I considered this, because I felt so terrible about not getting her to come, but I had to decline because she was on her period. She get a bit annoyed, I essentially edged her for 3 stagnated hours.

Who is more in the wrong here? It wasn't a good night for me, but I did try my best. I've gotten her to come countless times. Usually the procedure is to fuck and try to make her come, then finger her until she does if she doesn't come during sex (which is quite rare, and she often states how much she loves my fingers/hands).

>>17340246

I guess you're right, anon, that's a good point. Irl I come off as cute and sweet, so I guess that would assure a guy I'm not a satanic child-eating demon. But if it's on my tinder profile, the good is I filter out guys who are baby and dog crazy, the bad is guys might judge me like the anons here.

>>17340247
My apologies, I take back my comment.

I remembered that you're actually supposed to be dating manchildren looking for a quick fuck you can eventually trick into sticking around, so Tinder seems the perfect place for you.

Enjoy.

>>17340248

I would never ask a guy to eat me out on a red day. I've accidentally tasted my own while red while masturbating (I use spit for lube) and it's disgusting.

You did nothing wrong. Try making her cum before you ever put your dick in. Or go very slow during sex and put most of the focus on fingering her clit and playing with her body, just let your dick chill out. Even if you go so slow you get soft halfway through it's better than the girl not getting off. You can also try a toy.

>>17340256

You're pretty hostile. There's not anything wrong with tinder, and a lot of guys do use it for dating and explicitly say they're not there for hookups. You're pretty elitist over choice of a dating app.

>>17340248
I think part of the issue is that obviously you were quite invested in making her come, but you probably didn't communicate that as much to her. You are saying that you owed fucking her despite not really feeling it - from her perspective, it probably looked like you got your share twice while she was quite frustrated. I also think it's not more than human to become annoyed when you realize you're not going to get there that night after three hours of edging, that doesn't mean she rationally thinks you did a lot wrong.

Having said that, this is all just normal stuff. You'd be shocked how many guys can't be fucked to get the girl off to begin with if she's not that easy. If you invest this much (twenty five minutes is a LOT) regularly, she can't expect you to never have an off day. You're not a machine.

Basically I don't think either of you was really in the wrong here. Does she not enjoy masturbating against you while you feel her up etc? That could also be an option, even if just to give your hand rest for a moment. Or consider throwing a vibrator in the mix.

>>17340202
Thanks for the advice. She told me she never masturbates and has no idea how to get herself off. Plus she never watches porn, only once with me to satisfy her curiosity and she got turned off from all the blowing and meaningless sex noises.

I don't want to push the issue but I just don't want to make her resent me for not being able to get her off I guess. When she's surrounded by her friends and they're talking about their successful sex lives I can tell she's disappointed and upset. I can understand why she would feel broken.

There's just gotta be something more I can do.

>>17340209
>I don't understand what you mean
You were saying that they are expensive, needy and bothersome, they limit freedom and are dirty. But those traits usually get determined by how they are parented. They aren't intrinsically like that so its not their fault.

I'm sure you'd be able to find a man who shares your views, and if you are able to mind other people's pets and kids then maybe you're okay.

Just that personally if I met a woman (or man) who just outright didn't like being around pets or kids then I would think less of them for not being able to handle general life situations.

Girls

If you care a lot about a guy, says he had a "beautiful personality" and doesn't look bad (not hot, but not ugly). Would that be enough for you to want to have sex with him?

Is not being ugly, but having a great personality enough? This girl has told me that she thinks my personality is beautiful

A question for girls.
How soon into a relation ship would you consider normal for first time sex? A week? A month? A year?

>>17340276
Sadly as I explained this is usually a more personal issue than that there's no right stimulation. I had a really hard time achieving it for the first time as well and this was partly because I didn't know what feeling to "steer" for as I had never experienced an orgasm. Female orgasms really are predominantly mental, and if she has hang ups and doesn't know what she's after that really cripples her in this regard.

I am not saying that it's impossible that she'd have her first ever with you, but I do think that it would be one of those moments where everything aligns (she's more relaxed than usual and more into it mentally, you have just the right position, just the right moment etc) that is unlikely to just happen anytime in the near future. As I said I fear that making your sex life into a quest to get her an orgasm is only more likely to make her feel down on herself and to take all fun and spontaneity out of sex.

And yeah, fuck the friends, I mean they no doubt don't realize it but that's shitty. All the more because they are no doubt polishing their stories, and because they are probably young and immature and think great sex has more to do with constant orgasms than with really enjoying each other. That of course doesn't help.

If anything I think she might be suited for sexual therapy. There could also be (subconscious?) judgment at play, like having picked up the message that sex is sinful when she was young. But I can imagine that for a young healthy gal to get the suggestion of sexual therapy, that would be the nail in the coffin for her sexual self esteem...

>>17340298
1 week if you're perfect and spend all week together.
1 month could be a bit long for a lot of girls, but I know some girls always wait 1 month as a rule they made for themselves.
About 3 weeks would make sense. This assumes that you go on multiple dates/regularly spend time together.

>>17340298

First date.

>>17340286

Probably would but never heard "beautiful personality" before. Sounds weird.

>>17340231
Dating apps are what you make of them. Looking for something serious? Mention it in your profile and try to weed out the rest.

>>17340247
It's unfortunate that OKcupid doesn't have a match and then message system like Tinder.
Im assuming you got the weird creepy guy vibes from all the messages. How did you like the service otherwise? Design of the app, profile descriptions, percentage matching questions...?

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is this body type sexually attractive to females or is it too chubby or something else wrong?

>complexes are always a turn-off.
That's not true, I love small complexes in girls and I know some guys who share this preference.

>>17340317
Whore

>>17340253
You'll just have to word it in a way that explains both aspects of how you feel on the situation.

>>17340286
A great personality usually makes up for average looks.

>>17340344
Looks unnatural. Hair on arms but not on chest.

>>17340319

I didn't like any aspect about it. The questions are alright but some of them are ridiculous, and it's hard to get to know someone by a few yes or no's.

>>17340344

Wear real pants. body itself is fine.

>>17340353

Heh.

>>17340317
>First date
Wow, I thought this was just an /r9k/ meme about Western women

>>17340027
>Men: What do you think about a girl who is both childfree and petfree and wants neither, ever?
>They're expensive, needy, and bothersome. They limit freedom. They're dirty.
Yeah.

>>17340344
Totally fine and definitely not chubby.

>>17340371
lmao

>>17340286
First off, if I told a guy he had a beautiful personality, it would probably be because he's sensitive, emotional and caring. Those are all wonderful traits that I feel like I would compliment my boyfriend OR BEST FRIEND on having. It has nothing to do with being sexy to me, but it makes you a great person.

I think personality can definitely outshine looks in a lot of cases, but I wouldn't have sex with some guy based on looks or personality alone. You would have to be my boyfriend and I would have to trust you and feel comfortable around you. Guess I'm old fashioned so the answer would be no, it's not enough. But it doesn't mean you have to be some rich, hot, Chad either.

>>17340303
She made a passing comment once about how she doesn't want to be one of those girls who needs sexual therapy and laughed it off. Obviously the idea crossed her mind. I wouldn't want to suggest that to her because like you said, it'll probably hurt.

I'll just try to make her as relaxed as possible and focus on our collective pleasure. I'll try not to bring attention to her not finishing. It's out of my control, so it's time to start focusing on what I can control, which is how I see things from her point of view.

Thanks anon.

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Girls:

I have a few questions.

Is it unattractive for a man to be feminine? Several people have asked me if I was gay, and gay guys hit on me a lot.

This one is just out of curiosity really. Do girls like it if a man can cum a lot? I had a comment thrown my way about it, not sure how it was meant.

>>17340412
>Is it unattractive for a man to be feminine?
Really depends, what do you do that's feminine? Need more info. My bf carries around a bag and wears pink and that's fine in my book.

>Do girls like it if a man can cum a lot?
Fuck yes. The more cum the better.

>>17340383

Ok thank you.

To females:
What does it mean when you confess to her and she doesn't know whether she likes you back or not?

Mini backstory: We're best friends. I told her that a no is still a better answer than "Idk."

>>17340426
>what do you do that's feminine
There's a long list.. I like clothes and have feminine mannerisms (grew up around women).


I have a well-spoken English accent which doesn't help either..

>Fuck yes. The more cum the better.
lol, good

>>17340457
Lol, liking clothes is fine. Actually imo it's more than fine because I personally like men who know how to dress and I'm sure a bunch of other women do, too. Feminine mannerisms is questionable and might turn off some women because they assume you're gay. I don't know if there's much you can do to fix that if you were raised that way. At least you know women better than most. And English accents are generally sexy so don't worry about that.

>>17340453
I was in the same situation once. I was really confused and it took me a while to realize that I liked him back, and it took some convincing on his part. Give her some time and don't push it on to her too much, but try to gently persuade her to take the next step. A relationship born out of a best friendship is great.

>>17340412
Not universally, but yeah, most straight people are attached to a lesser or more extreme extent to the stereotypical masculinity/femininity. You will be some people's thing but for most it won't be ideal.

males: would you date a bi girl?

>>17340482
True, but I felt like I went a little too far. Anything specific I should say? We text every day, so it's nothing special. Just go back to whatever we used to talk about, I guess?

>>17340493
Sure.

>>17340495
that's nice. when i was dating a guy, i never told them i was bi, because i was scared

>>17340482
>>17340494
Won't let me post screenshots for some reason. Here's some recent texts:

Me: No. After like, 6 months, I was ready for anything for an answer XD
It's definitely better than an "Idk" for an answer

Anon: Sorry for that stress I put on you for so long. DX

Me: Plus, I've been rejected before >__> but that was way back in 6th grade, and I barely knew the person. Just a stupid past version of me XD

*skipping ahead, pointless talk about video games*

Anon: It's weird.
I feel all emotional now.
Dammit. XD I'm so weird.

Me: D:
Please, don't. I'd feel terrible
I didn't mean to

Anon: Naw- it's fine. XD

Me: XD

Like I said, I might've rushed her for an answer too quickly. You might be right, maybe she really didn't know. I thought she was just ashamed of saying no.

Do females shop around as much as males do? I had a little thing with a girl a month ago that felt so real I thought I found someone to finally be with. The next day she hit me with the "you're the first since my ex and I thought I was ready" "I was up having anxiety thinking about what to do"
We stopped speaking for about two months now and she posted online "where are the guys that take relationships serious?"

I guess she just wasn't into me as much as she thought. Brutal realization. Unless this is my chance to hit her up..

>>17340494
>>17340502
Seems she likes you but is nervous about coming to terms with it. Give her time and keep talking to her, maybe mention once or twice something about relationships in general.

>>17340503
Speaking as a girl, girls are confusing and complicated. Sometimes we don't really know what we want, and other times we have issues trying to convey our feelings directly. Go a head and talk to her lol

>>17340102
If you aren't having kids, there's no reason to comingle finances, ergo no reason for him to marry you.

Enjoy getting replaced by a younger model when you get older.

Girls and guys im a 22 year old male virgin thanks to my own retardation. Is losing your virginity to a hooker that terrible for you?

>>17340511
I want too so bad. There is obviously way more detail to what happened. The big thing is we share a place of employment. So throughout this process we have seen each other. Sometimes awkward some not. I normally just give a quick smile and that's that. The night before she dropped the bomb on me we saw the sunset and kissed. All her idea. This all fell into my lap I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm not even saying this just to amplify my story but she is a literal 10/10 in my eyes. So it makes things tricky for me not being the most confident dude haha

>>17340520
If you are that desperate to lose your virginity then what does what anyone thinks matter? Especially us? Is it the fact that you won't be able to tell your bro's without feeling ashamed?

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>>17340523
desu I'm not sure if you are the first guy or the second but if you guys literally kissed then you need to just start dating already.

>>17340520
Do it genuinely or not at all.

>>17340498
If they are dicks they might want a threesome because lol lesbian but you should be able to filter them.

>>17340520
sell your virginity

>>17340529
I'm the second one. Where you said girls are confusing. I have to agree. She is the one who brought up not wanting to date, I was just along for the ride numb waiting for each event to unfold with her. The night we kissed that's all it was. I went to get out of the car without saying anything (she drove that night) and sat back in and grabbed her chin for another. There were 0 words between this and her text. I just tried to forget it all..

>>17340511
Thanks a bunch, Anon. You really helped me out :] I bring up tha like, every month or two, but I try to be modest about it. I don't want to freak her out

>>17340180
I felt exactly the same way as you. I'm 20 now and I've started growing this attraction of sorts to children (not in that way lol). It's like my fear-based repulsion is slowly changing into a confident desire to nurture. When I think about having kids realistically, it's still terrifying and I still can't say for sure that I will want to, but with the way things are going, it's safe to predict that the trajectory will lead me to absolutely wanting them when I'm older.

I think this process is completely natural and common. As a teen you have neither the biological or rational impulse to have kids. Instead you have a natural repulsion that keeps you away from having children too early. Then your maternal instincts start to kick in as you get older, and you become more and more consciously confident as your resources and adult abilities grow with age.

Of course this is not true for everyone, but I think this is how it works for most girls.

>>17340528
Because i always get myself into situations that can get me laid but i keep fucking up, and i think i should just get It over with in order to stop worrying about my performance when It actually happens
And i never talk about my emotional life because my friends know im fucking terrible at It

>>17340412
>Is it unattractive for a man to be feminine?
Yes

>Do girls like it if a man can cum a lot?
Yes

>>17340558
Your friends are probably even worse at talking about it than you are. That's why none of it ever comes up.

Do you want to get laid simply because it feels embarrassing that you haven't done it?
Or do you want it to be special with someone you care about?

I'm 22 years old and also a virgin. I've had plenty of chances just like you. I've had girls that were a sure thing but It just never happened. I've gone to the strip club and have had sex offered to me and I turned it down. I'm 6'3 220 pounds. In decent shape. I take care of my appearance. It's nowhere near impossible for me to go get laid. It needs to mean something to me, whether that's important to anyone else means jack SHIT. They aren't you.

Trust me buddy. Don't let what other people think influence how you yourself think.

>>17340520
You're only 22! Losing it to a hooker will not help you get over whatever complex you have about it. Personally, I think you should instead learn to cherish your first time and save it for your partner. That's why my boyfriend did and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

>>17340180
Dude here, but you'd better be honest with him and yourself, of course. I wasted a lot of time on a girl who kept telling me she wanted children and just changed her mind later. That's 10 years of my life I will never have back. Don't do that sort of thing, it's shitty.

>>17340178

To be perfectly frank you seem kind of immature

A relationship isn't just people "going on awesome adventures and having good sex and food", people lean on each other, depend on each other, build a life together. Nobody is 'self-sufficient' in a relationship, and relationships are always, always going to have patches where they're a bit of a burden for the both of you, and if you really want lifelong companionship then you need to dedicate yourself to it

Quite frankly to be harsh you just sort of sound like the female version of the giant manchildren who are like hurr I don't need girls i got video games durr

>>17339619
are there many girls who have kinks, for example self bondage?

>>17340597
Yes

So i met this chick at a concert a few weeks ago. Chilled the whole time, had a blast, talked about all sorts of stuff, overall everything was great. Shes mega chill and really good looking too, definetly my type. We made out before going our seperate ways (live many hours apart) but we have been keeping in touch ever since.

So heres the problem. Its become readily apparent that she has put me in the friendzone (ill explain in a minute). Which is fine, shes chill and i wouldnt mind being just friends. Im 100% fine being just friends and i absolutely dont see it going any further than that, so i guess in that respect im a leg up in the game. Anytime we talk though, she seems to want to use me as her emotional tampon. At first it was ok, like yeah its good to vent sometimes and discuss problems with friends. But quickly i learned the extent of what shes doing, and im not trying to deal with that bullshit anymore. Go ahead and check every box; she initiates text convos but doesnt respond to messages timely if at all, only wants to talk when she feels like it, its always about whats going on in her life. Typical girl stuff in some regards - but im not getting my dick wet. Shes not me girlfriend, and she will never be considering shes treating me like a "gay best friend". Why the fuck would i want to put up with that shit? I got my own problems.

So heres the question. Is there a way to make this shit stop and still be friends? I genuinely like her as a person; shes a good person, funny, real fun to be around. But i have ***ZERO*** intention of continuing on with this tampon shit.

How do i get this point across without being a dick? Next time she starts in, i was going to just kinda ignore her and change the subject or give one word responses, etc etc. that failing, id probably have to tell her straight up "Im not your bf, i like you as a person but i have enough shit on my own plate".

>tldr how do i stop acting like this chicks emotional tampon with grace?

>>17340621
Just tell her the truth man. Like you said you live hours apart and you only wanted to be friends anyway. WORST case scenario she just replaces you with another dude and complains to him. And he's not getting his dick wet either.

Not much to lose anon

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>>17340621

Just wanted to add, im aware im a dumbass for not recognizing this sooner. Sorry. Better late than never! Also figured id ask the "experts"; is being friends even possible without me being her tampon? Is she just another manipulative psycho cunt and views me only as a source of self validation? Or is it that she and i just arnt seeing eye to eye and shes does infact value me as a friend (a person friend, not a gay male girlfriend-friend).

Any and all advice on this is greatly appreciated, thanks guys and gals.

>>17340627

Well initially i absolutely wanted to get laid. Thatd be awesome. But ive made peace with the fact that will almost certainly come to pass unless im seeing this wrong (pretty sure youll agree im not).

My issue isnt so much voicing my thoughts on the matter to her. Its that if its possible to do so without her flipping out and ending all contact, that would be preferable.

However if she does flip out she can go kick rocks and suck strange dicks for all i care, im not THAT clueless to pursue her friendship if shes going to be a bitch about it.

Its be nice to have a hot chick as a friend, though..

>>17340636
I'm the same guy who already answered you. I had a girl do something similar. We went to high school together. I told her I liked her. She didn't like me. She wanted to remain friends (best friends..) and I remained distant. She'd always hit me up with problems about her boyfriend or family. I'd give choice words; but it got very old. I felt involved for no reason. Eventually we stopped speaking and don't really anymore. I see her from time to time with her husband and child at my job.

Is a plain friendship with this girl worth any of the headache? Do you value her as a person this much?

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Not for the opposite gender but didn't know where else to ask. Do any other girls get an orgasmic sensation when peeing and stopping mid-stream and thinking about something like, hot? Like a fantasy or something you have. Sounds so weird written down and no I don't have a pee fetish or some shit, but I learned I could do this about a year ago and I've done it all the time since. Pee, stop and hold for like 10 sec. Can repeat. Really curious if others get this.

>>17340648

No, its not worth the headache at all. You pretty much nailed it - i just dont want to be that emotionally involved on that level with this chick when im getting nothing in return. I dont need a venting buddy or some shit, i have my best friend since 1st grade to vent my real problems to every couple of years, like most men do. I can handle my own shit on my own the rest of the time.

I just want her to cut that shit out and be happy-go-lucky and fun like she was when we first met and chilled, rather than this beta male shit she is trying to impose on me.

>>17340652
Nah, it's not weird. Personally it's not enough to really get me going but I do find that thinking about sexual stuff during peeing turns the physical sensation from just relief to actually pleasing, so I do that a lot.

Having said that, stopping mid-stream is not good for you and can cause UTIs, it's a common thing they warn about in kegel guides (to pretend like you do this but not actually do it).
If I were you I'd try masturbating with a full bladder, particularly while lying on your stomach so you can constantly adjust how much or little your arm is pressing into it. Have done this multiple times and it's pretty good, but I know girls who swear by full bladder fingering because it makes things feel more intense.

>>17340661
Well. It'd be different if you guys lived around each other and hung out etc. Then there'd be a physical side is all. Have you talked to her about going out again/meeting up? Just one last time to see where things go? Other than that you seem pretty aware of what needs to happen.

>>17340652
Guys can do it also.

>>17340686
I asked on here before and nobody had heard of it so I assumed it didn't happen to guys.

>>17340686
You can stop your pee midway through?
I can only do that if i move and it doesn't feel good.

>>17340671

Well yeah we've talked about meeting up, shes said multiple times she wanted to come visit me. We both expressed we like eachother (as people ar least) and want to stay in contact etc etc. I told her to come by and chill and i could show her around and all but the gears never really rolled any further than that - which to me suggests she could just be baiting me along like a bitch.

Honestly at first it seemed there was a great shot at this being a romantic relationship. Which is when all this talk of traveling occured. However the last few times we talked it seemed all that chilled and grinded to a halt, im not really sensing that as a development anymore - everything i posted already basically describes why i feel that way. Granted, if this is just a weird bump or something id totally slay that p, but based on personal experience and literally countless testimonies from others, the chances of that happening are slim to none.

So yeah i mean good possibility we could still meet up and chill, 100% will be attending the same concert next year and want to chill there ar the very least. Thus why id like to go about this a bit more tactfully rather than be blunt and tell her straight up to fuck off lol.

I don't like to touch people at all unles I've known them for a while and consider them a good friend, which is like 2 people right now. If I hug a good friend when I see them with other friends there but don't hug anyone else, what can I say when people jokingly ask why I don't hug them? Or should I just not hug people so others don't feel left out?

>>17340737
It depends. If you're with a good friend and some random acquaintances you don't know well, or good friends of your friend, it's not weird to hug your good friend. Just say something playful in return, like that it's a special privilege they need to earn, with a big grin.

If you mean that you're among friends of you, then you choose to hug one specific friend before leaving and no one else, then yeah that's just douchey.

>>17340070

> Did you actually do it

Fucking yes and yes I dated

> There is no magic get over her technique

Oh I see you didn't actually read what I posted and you're just regurgitating bland tired platitudes with a smug attitude in order to project an internet tough guy presence

I never asked for any magic "get over her" technique, I asked if I should completely block her and erase her from my life

>>17340172

You know what you're probably right

Even if we did get back together by some miracle I'd always have the memory of the time she didn't talk to me for a year straight and I'd always wonder if she'd be ready to go back to that, and it would probably never work out

I guess I'm just having a hard time letting go because she's the only person I ever felt so intensely about and frankly I don't know if I'll ever feel that intensely about someone again

>>17340778
Yes. Stop following her on social media and avoid contacting her unless it's a really dire emergency kind of thing. After this point it's only time that can help

>>17340786
Well see, I already did that for a year and it didn't help much

I mean I did pretty much all the normal stuff for getting over a breakup

date someone else, no contact, no social media following, throw out all the stuff that reminded me of her, burn her old letters and all the shit she drew me, hell I even moved so I haven't been around any of the places we used to frequent, and still it didn't seem to work

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Girls

So I'm going to the beach for a few days by myself. It should be a fun trip, I got a super nice oceanfront Room with a balcony at my hotel too! Anyways, if I go to a beachside bar, would pic related be ok to wear? I am not fashion savvy. I usually just wear button down shirts, and since it's the beach I'll wear shorts like the guy in the pic and sandals because fuck it.

Is that ok for the bar?

>>17340830
yeah that seems fine, as with any fashion advice the caveat is unless you are fat. If you are really fat you may as well just wear a potato sack

>>17340793
Keep going

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>>17340830
It seems fine.
I don't really like cargo shorts tho. More something like pic related. Looks much more neat.

>>17340493
well i would! it depense on the person i mean there some homophics and people that are disgusted by that. But normaly i think you wouldnt date this kind of people

>>17340840

Ok. I'm a pretty slim guy.

>>17340872

That's too stylish for me.. I don't think I could wear shorts that tight

>>17340493
Don't know, I think I did, she said she had a story with a friend of her but in the end she's straight. That didn't bother me that much cause she was special enough for me but If I think about that.... Well no, I don't like it at all, I see it as a risk for me, but I'm just too insecure so it's my problem, I need to fix it.

>>17340915
>I don't think I could wear shorts that tight
Not even necessarily that tight, but.. meh, I think cargo shorts are trashy, I really dislike them. Make you look shorter and fatter.

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Women: What does it mean if your friend declines to go somewhere with you if they think they'll be tired? Did she think I was asking her out? I wouldn't mind being with her, but this outing was meant to be completely platonic.

>>17340925
Not necessarily?
I decline invitations often if I have a busy day at work.

Question to the girls:
i want to date the sister of my sisters boyfriend
but she got a boyfriend and i got problems with my self eestem. Also she didnt notice me much since my sister is together with her brother. Well i could wait for the relationship to break and in mean time try to get a part of her life but i dont know how to do that without making it to obvious that i want to hit on her or looking like a weirdo

>>17340933
btw sry for my english its not my mother tongue

>>17340923

Maybe it's just because of the model, but that looks way too stylish for me. I'm a quiet guy, not exactly flashy and looking for attention.

Im a 21 year old man and im positive i want Kids, is It weird to be sure at my age ?

>>17340551
Thanks, anon. This helps a lot.

>>17340575
Ok, I'll just tell him how I feel now. I don't want to keep him away from a girl he'd better off with, even if I love him..

>>17340953
No. If you want them right nkw yes

>>17340493
probably not, but i'm not sure

don't really have a problem with it on a moral level but i'm already paranoid about competition/getting cheated on/gf being attracted to others and a girl being bi just opens up a whole new world of possibilities in that regard that i know even less about

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Girls/guys

how do I deal with being a sexually frustrated 25 year old male, but also choose to not engage in sex? I keep thinking about sex, and I choose to not do it, but it's just so god damn frustrating. And fapping doesn't always work.

No, I'm not religious.

girls:

I had a gf who was extremely sensitive, but I'm not sure how much I believed her. I've had sensitive girls before, but she claimed she was SO sensitive she had an orgasm just from me playing with her nipples. Is this possible?

>>17341079
It's your own choice.
If you're unhappy with it, just have sex.

>>17341088
Yes, that's possible. It is also possible that she exaggerated to get you and/or herself off, but it is possible to climax just from having your nipples touched/licked/bitten. At least, for some women, it is a very individual case how much sensitivity there is. It can range from literally orgasmic to completely numb.

>>17341101

I know it's my choice. It's just difficult because human instinct.. It makes me depressed Tbh.

I haven't had sex in 5 years by choice. I've had 3 different opprotunities where I could have since this past January. But turned them down.

I have this block. like, I don't know how to discribe it. But I get irritated how causal sex is. that it's just such common conversation. so I try to avoid it all together. but being a fit male in his prime, it's fucking frustrating. Especially since I get judged by my peers

>>17341079
Focus your energy on something else, preferably something that requires some stamina. You can work more hours, spend more time in the gym, etc. I am celibate at the moment as well, so I focus the energy elsewhere and make sure to expend it.

>>17341079
I don't know if this works for you, because I have heard and am willing to believe that sexual frustration for men is inherently different and more physical than for women. But I am in a similar position and what works for me is to keep in mind that it is my own decision and I could choose to change it if I want. Obviously this is not the case for all guys, but you sound like you are reasonably confident in your chances if you wanted it, and in that case this is relevant.
Basically, when I feel tempted I don't try to tell myself that I can't do it, I try to tell myself that I can and really envision it as a concrete possibility. That keeps it from being a forbidden fruit, it becomes a more everyday thing - yeah, I'd see his dick like there are countless dicks that look more or less alike, and I'd 99% certainly not have an orgasm, and I'd wake up the next day feeling awkward with him possibly being a douche to me - and not that tempting. Obviously the specific shit I listed is more female oriented but you can envision how you feel once you woke up, the most accute horniness being gone, and you're there with a random naked girl and broke your [personal principles?].
If you can succesfully do this, you can flirt with people and enjoy stuff like that to get some of the aspects of sex - the approval that someone is into you and finds you sexy - without going all the way.

Other than that, exploring your own sexuality. Try g-spot orgasms. If you don't want that, try edging for two hours before you come. Smoke some weed and really amp yourself up before going at it if you're particularly frustrated. Think about all sexual things you come across and wonder whether you'd enjoy that and if so, under what circumstances etc. If you come across a kink you didn't realize you liked, there's extra exciting porn.

I hope there's at least something in here you can use. I don't really have something better to offer. For me it was mostly a mindset change ultimately.

>>17341133

I do try this. I'm not aroused often or whatver. Just the thought of girls is always in my head. And everyone I'm around always talks about sex. So it fills my mind with it.

guys i need help i think
a girl i had a crush on gave me some signs that she was interested in me but i never actually did anything about it because i have a terrible fear of rejection, one of her friends (lets call him kevin) asked her ouy (one of my best friends is also best friends with him and she told me), last week we were talking about relationships and the act of kissing and she tells me she doesnt want a relationship and if she is attracted to a guy she just kisses him instead of waiting for him to do something. Later i asked her if she kisses her friends because i did, i only need to like someone to kiss them without an issue, she told me she couldnt do it unless she was attracted to them and she told me for example she wouldnt kiss kevin or me.
we talked for more time and then i left it hurt pretty bad but hey, you cant always win. The problem is she started to act kinda cold to me after that day, and one part of my brain tells me that nobody says things just because, but the other part just tells me to move on
i still see her every week but i'm not expecting anything from her anymore, i still talk to her because i actually like her as a person

>>17341142
Any reason why you can't get together with someone and have non-casual sex?

>>17341139

That was a interesting post. I do try to tell myself that I know I'd regret it afterward if I did have sex. I've only ever had sex 3 times and all 3 times were regrets. it's been 5 years since I last did anything with a girl. the first few years were easy, but this past year has been difficult. I've flirted with girls and gotten to the point where they talked about how they think it would be to watch a movie and make out. But I stop talking to them at that point. It's happened 3 times this year, and I immediately cut it off before I make the step.

I think the reason my choices are so difficult is because, as a man, we are judged heavily by how we are with women. People think that if you're a healthy guy and don't meet up with girls then you're a faggot. But I'm straight. one day at work a co-worker was talking about these girls he's been with lately, turns and looks at me, and starts giving me sex advice. I never talk about sex, but people can just tell that I'm very inexperienced and haven't gotten sex in a long time. Guys can just tell, and it's frustrating because it makes me feel like shit. It puts pressure on me too

Anyone,

I need some help deciphering my female friend's feelings towards me.
(1/2)

>Last August, shortly before I had to return to college
>Tell her I have feelings for her, she reciprocates and asks if I'm going to take her on a date
>We go on a date, nothing really happens, I go back to school
>She starts seeing someone else, kinda bothers me but w/e
>I come back for winter break, end up tripping with her and a few friends on New Years
>She sits in between me and BF
>Completely absorbed in books with me, taking turns reading poetry out of a book and watching me write while BF is fucking out of it.
>Go back to school for spring semester, she breaks up with BF during that time.
>I start seeing an amazing girl at college, have a wonderful romance but won't see her for a long time due to both of us studying abroad
>Come back this summer, tell friend I still have romantic feelings for her and want to try something
>She's surprised and admits she was a bit jealous of the other girl, but agrees that she wants to try something
>She starts joking about how we'll have to do something different on a date because we've been friends for so long. Go to kiss her and she balks at it.

>>17341151

Because i made a desicion when back in 2008 when I was in high school that I never want to get married or have kids. Since I don't ever want a wife and kids I decided there was no point to get a girlfriend.

so, since I don't want a girlfriend, I can't have non-casual sex..

Been hanging out with some friends from school(3 chicks and 1 guy), we've been hanging out pretty regularly and they're really cool, we do all kinds of outdoors stuff. Long story short recently the prettiest girl in the group has started acting differently towards me.

Never even attempted to flirt with her, figured I had no chance, so I would act distant but friendly. Didn't want to scare her away or creep her out so I forced myself to not even view her sexually. But now...there's awkward pauses, and teasing, and quick side glances, and moments when she looks at me like she wants to say something. One thing I noticed was I could tease and kinda flirt with the other two girls but I never did it with her...now thats changed too. She teased me openly after dinner one day, it was strange I was so taken back by it I couldn't even think of a witty reply or anything, I was stunned.

We hung out for my birthday, did some things and went to the movies at night, I went to the bathroom by myself as they sat down. I was wondering where she would sit, I feel like I've been getting signals, so would she sit between the two other girls? Would she sit on the opposite end of where my seat was, or would she sit next to where my seat was? Walked in and she was sitting on the side next to where I would sit. Not only that, during the movie she held my hand and never let go once. The next day she sent me this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNzCDt2eidg . Didnt think anything of it at first, but the title means "two people who are in love but are too shy to admit it". I tried my best not to fall for her, but now I care, I want her, she's special to me, we have amazing chemistry. Is my developing feelings for her, the reason I'm suddenly seeing all this, or is it actually that we started liking each other at the same time. It feels different with her now, she never poked fun at me before..I dont know what I'm asking, just need an outsiders perspective

>>17341161
(2/2)
>Sends me a looong text that night about how she's confused/not in a good place mentally and scared of losing a friend as good as me (we've known each other since elementary school), Basically a "now isn't the right time" text
>I say I understand and figure that's basically it for us romantically.
>Go through a rough patch, she offers emotional support for me.
>After/during this, she starts being more affectionate/intimate (hugging my arm randomly, starts hugging me like we're romantically involved). We also start spending a lot more time together 1 on 1 as opposed to with friends.

It hurts because her words and her actions don't line up. I want to respect her wishes that it isn't a good time for a relationship, but I can't help but hurt because she's been so much more loving lately and I want to escalate things. It feels like I'm being kept around as someone to be emotionally intimate with but that she doesn't have a physical attraction towards me and doesn't want to ruin our friendship.

That said, that's just my opinion and I'm on /adv/ because I'd like the input of others.

>>17341159
What you mention about how long it has been reminds me of another one - how unsatisfying it would be to break your long dry spell for something you don't thoroughly enjoy. I find that one very helpful as well.

Perhaps you can switch from one on one interaction, which creates more expectations, to a setting where you can more freely interact with women then bail (with the excuse that you're too drunk to fuck, or you're actually hoping to get official with another girl). If your friends enjoy clubbing then you could enjoy getting a bit drunk with them, dancing and flirting with women and relishing the prospect that you COULD do something with them, while also showing your friends that you're not shit at talking to girls and lack personal charm. I mean, obviously it's not the full package and I could understand it if you feel like this is more frustrating than rewarding, but it does mean that you get to experience at least a part of the whole being young and able to chase girls that you otherwise miss out on completely.

As for the comments, yeah, I can definitely see how that would happen. It's annoying but come on, deep down you know that sticking to your own beliefs and not budging because some guy is calling you a faggot is more admirable than caving to peer pressure that has little to do with your own desires.
Learn how to tell them to fuck off. "Man, why are you so interested in my sex life? If you're fishing for something, I'm not going to fuck you." Or if they give you advice - "I would consider it but my innocent boyish charm always did well with your mom." If you're in a group setting and a comment is made, go to someone else; "here we go again, this guy's obsessed with where I'm putting my dick".
As soon as the atmosphere becomes too serious, tell them that you have lots of interest in women but no interest in fucking randoms just because you can, they don't need to understand it to roll with it.

At least, that's my two pennies.

i'm a guy with severe psoriasis. Good looking without it. What do I do about it when wanting to be attractive?

>>17341162
That's eight years ago, you sure that it's still completely in line with who you are today?

I also disagree that there's no point in getting a girlfriend if you don't want marriage. Sure, most people would find it difficult to swallow if they knew beforehand that a relationship was temporary, that's just human nature. But in the meantime you do enrich each other - someone gives you back intimate observations about yourself, lets you air out the random childhood memories and secret hopes for the future, brings out sides in you that you might not have noticed otherwise. Plus there's a lot at stake in a relationship so there's typically a lot of closeness and a lot of frustration and confusion and possibly fighting. Not all of that is positive but it is a big growth experience that (at least if you are reasonably reflective) can really change you and/or the way you look at life.

But of course, if you're fully convinced still that this is the way for you then that's that.

>>17341176

Honestly, I don't think I'm that great at talking to girls, I really don't know why I've had girls in the past be willing to mess around with me. I don't get it. But regardless, I don't really enjoy the flirting and stuff. When my friends and I go out and get drinks, I'd rather just drink and eat some food. They tell me sometimes "hey dude, that girl is looking at you" and I just ignore them and my friends usually give me shit. I've explained to them everything, but I know they can't understand because it's something no guy can understand. I mean, I've been getting criticized by guys from my last 3 jobs. It's just something people can sense. its just the nature of being a guy, sex is a huge topic of conversation. Regardless of where I go or how old I get, it'll always be there. So people can't understand why I won't do it. So they try to encourage me and shit. It's just difficult.

It's probably easier for girls to avoid sex because it makes you look like less of a slut or whatver, but for guys it's the exact opposite. The more girls the better, the less girls the worse. It's just "guy culture"

>>17341184

I really do never want to get married or have kids. Most of the reason why I want to avoid getting a girlfriend is I'm scared that I'd get too attached. I'm worried I'd like them too much, invest too much time into them, then when the point of getting married happens, either break it off or get married.

I just figure the best thing I can do, is to avoid it all together to prevent that risk.

>>17341190
I think at this point the only option left is to really focus on you wanting to live your life this way, and accepting that people are going to look at you funny and think that you're gay or asexual. You are opting for an entirely unconventional lifestyle, regardless of how bothersome it is that people mind your business, it has become obvious now that this is what they will do. I'm sure the right guys will be impressed with you as a person for the right reasons, like being a loyal and pleasant friend, even if they don't understand that you don't want to fuck. And if that means sitting through being badgered about it... I don't see a way out of that. I mean, everything you say is obviously just reality.

I am actually to inclined to agree with the first commenter with more context. Perhaps it is better to altogether give up porn, try to limit masturbation, and focus your entire energy on other things. I took it that you were simply waiting for a special girl but if you are this convinced that you don't want to start something with a woman, I don't see how connecting with individual girls and/or looking at porn and stuff like that can work in any way but dangle in your face what you won't have.

>>17341213

You're probably right. I've been pretty good about avoiding porn. I haven't looked at it in months and months. I only fap once a day right when I wake up in the morning because it kills my drive for a few hours. I think a part of what makes it so difficult is since even when I'm not getting badgered, others are talking about sex. So I hear it, and it just makes me think.

I'm going to Tijuana and likely going to have sex with a prostitute. How can I expect this to affect my future relationships if I'm honest about it?

>>17341218
It does sound to me like you have some mixed feelings somewhere. And to an extent that's natural, but if you are really completely sure that you want something, it's typically relatively easy to accept that something mutually exclusive is then out of reach.
When it bothers you when others talk about sex, is it simply because you would as a person with physical needs like to have sex, or does it make you doubt and think about possibly missing out in life after all? Because if it is the latter, that is something you can investigate for yourself and give a conclusive answer to.

>>17341231

People keep saying "you are going to regret this in the future, you're wasting your life"

hearing that so much makes me think a lot on it. I just really don't know. It's confusing.


Thanks tho, anon. You're been a good /adv/isor

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for girls:

I was sleeping in the same bed with a girl "friend", she has a boyfriend.

should I have kissed her during that night?

I didn't do it.

we did do nothing, just sleep because there was no space

>>17341252
Nothing wrong with reflecting on it, as long as you stay true to your own feelings about it. There's no point in adapting other people's priorities in life. I would take the comments as motivation to soul search but if you really want this for (to you) right reasons, you also need to be able to cut the cord and accept that you are closing doors in life and refusing things that play a big role in many people's lives.

You're welcome and good luck.

>>17341253
you shouldnt

>>17341256
;_; ok

I guess I did the right thing

and I'm lonely now
and still virgin

>>17341223
By being honest, you will greatly reduce your dating pool, but what will be left will probably be girls with the most compatible beliefs and values with you.

>>17341260
better than maybe losing you friend
wait for her relationship to end and then confront her with your feelings

Had a date with a girl yesterday. Everything went very well, i told her i liked her and she answered that she liked me back, wrapped my arm around her while we watched the landscape, then when i dropped her at her house i tried to kiss her and she refused to, she gave me a kiss on each cheek, telling me im going too fast. Is she still interested or should i move on?

My girl and I have been dating for a brief period of time. (A week this time, altogether about a month and a half because we used to date a while back) She and I have seen each other every day since we started seeing each other again. My birthday was two days ago, we met, went out, had sex, then she asked me to sleep over, which she's wanted for a while. It wasn't a good idea and neither of us slept very well.

We both live with our parents and mine were really cross about the idea. She asked about what they said and I told her what my mom had said about how she can't believe her parents would let her sleep around with an older guy (barely). She was under the impression they didn't want to meet her (which I didn't confirm but it's basically true).

She was short through text all day that day, which I understood because she was really tired. However, that's carried through to today. I haven't been blowing up her phone exactly, but she's been giving me really short, closed texts. She told me about a decision to do something next semester which I supported saying I was excited for her and I admired her for doing it.

What should I do? Should I straight up ask if everything's okay? Am I reading too far into it? I don't wanna appear needy because her texts aren't extravagant enough for my liking but I feel like things have gone on a sour note these last couple days.

>>17341142
>I'm not aroused often or whatver
I'm the one you replied to. You have a distinct advantage over me. I'm older than you and still have the libido of a teenager on steroids. If it's just a mental thing, all you need to do is keep your mind occupied, perhaps control your environment or your mind within your environment better. You might find regular meditation to be if sins help to you.

In reading your subsequent posts, I laughed a little, for your reasoning is the exact opposite of mine. I actually do want to get married, and I'm trying to keep my numbers as low as possible. Best of luck to you.

This is for other girls.
I'm okay looking and have had no shortage of boyfriends, I've done other things and I'm not afraid of going all the way eventually but every time I'm intimate with someone it's just boring. I don't know how to describe it, oral is always lacklustre, making out has only ever been interesting once for me before but I haven’t been with that guy in years. I'm pretty sure I'm attracted to men but I've never tried anything with girls and I'm just tired of building up to a date and not feeling anything for them physically, when we get to it later on because it's a real relationship killer.

>>17339674
>>17339651

this

>>17341278
She's still interested but going in for a kiss on a first date can be a little soon for some people.

>>17340621
It would be easy enough if it was mutual, but she was just being excessive but she clearly doesn't care to talk to you unless it benefits her. I don't really see it working out.

>>17340493
Sure, as long as she didnt try to pull any weird shit with it.

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Under what situations would you get back with an ex, especially if its long distance?

Does anyone have any stories about how they fell back in love with their ex? Just wondering what the guys did and what the girls liked.

>inb4 move on

>>17340493
I'm dating one currently.

Do people usually have a problem with it or something? I don't see why it would be weird.

>>17340493
Yes

the scary thing is she has twice the amount of potential partners, but thats only if that persons unfaithful

>>17340027
>childfree
Cool
>petfree
Hell no.

>>17340027
Personally Ive always wanted kids, wouldnt mind a pet but Ive never had one and thats okay if people dont want pets

But I've never understood no kids. Theres def guys out there who share dont want them though

>>17340737
Are you Swedish?

Swedish people and people in Sweden hate hugging others.

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why can I never do anything right? why do women not love me?

If anyone has advice feel free to share it but i mostly want this off my chest:

I finally seem to have been able to find a girl that likes me (been looking for years) but then ofc I don't like her!

>>17341497
I'm swedish... I hug people.

>>17341515
Love is two way. Don't do anything unless you think you might grow to love her as well. If you can't forsee that, then politely reject.

(Also good job m8, you did something right!)

>>17341079
Fap more

>>17341515
Beggars can't be choosers friendo.

>>17341515
Settle.

>>17341524
Haha, I'm not beggar level.

>>17341518
Or maybe that was swedish hate getting hugged...

>>17341538
Well, I like getting hugs too!
Actually I'm rarely the instigator of a hug.

I was together with a girl for 4 years. When we went to college (same school) she had a sort of existential crisis and dumped me for a new guy. Its been 9 months since then, and we hadn't talked since.

She's been texting me sort of flirting for the past two weeks now. Bringing up old memories, subtly suggesting that we should hang out. I've been reciprocating for the most part. Only last night when we were texting at 3am did we pull open the curtains and she said she's at a crossroads, she doesn't know if she should continue the relationship with the guy (I didn't know that they were still together) or if she wants to get back together with me. She certainly seems very interested, and our relationship was great all the way up until she had her "awakening".

I'm fairly confident that this is something I should pursue, but the prevailing advice is to never get back with an ex. I was her first partner, we were together for a very long time, and it seems like she thought the grass would be greener and was wrong.

I'm sure every person feels like they're the exception when talking about getting back with an ex, but..

>>17341579
If you think you both have matured since then, I'd say it's worth a shot. If there's feelings on both ends, then at least think about it.

What did you do since you broke up?

>>17341587
Yeah, I definitely feel like I've grown, can't really tell with her but it seems like it.

I've made lots of new friends and feel as though I've better developed my identity. Had a rebound relationship with someone so it's not like there'd be a disparity in experience.

I'm glad at least someone shares my opinion that it's worth a shot.

I am working part-time at an American company and I think this Latino coworker of mine is kind of hot. Is it a bad idea to call him guapo?

>>17341614
I personally am in a weird situation where I got dumped recently, so I guess I'm just interested to see the success stories is all.

But yeah, it's worth a shot if your heart is feeling it. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. As long as you don't try to recreate the past it'll be fine I'm sure.

the guy i'm seeing told me he wanted something more/serious with me then proceeded to ignore me for 2 days. today when i called him i ended up sounding really stupid and choking up, i was so overwhelmed/happy that he even picked up at all. he said he wanted to take me out tomorrow. last time we saw each other he broke my phone (accidentally) and i didn't even get mad at him... i should've yelled at him but for some reason i care about him enough to not even get mad. also his ex is liking his stuff on social media and i don't even know if i should be worried about that.
i don't know, i actually started to care for the guy when i didn't even like him at all when we first met, and even afterwards. and now if he doesn't talk to me for two days i get so sad i start losing weight.
if i end up seeing him tomorrow i want to be able to state everything that's bothering me but i know i'm gonna go soft and choke again.
it's not normal for a person to be this hot and cold... to tell you he wants something more with you and then pretend you don't exist, and when you call him he tells you he hasn't had time for anything. but he has time to be with his buddies all night and not take 10 seconds to reply to a message.
what should i do? what should i think? am i overthinking things?

Movie recommendation to watch with my gf, she likes "psychological" movie?(12 Angry Men kind)

Or should I just go the safe route, a comedy like Groundhog Day?

>>17341659
If you want psychological, watch The Game. It's one of those movies where you wish you could watch it for the first time all over again.

>>17341659
I already told you, Upstream Color.

>>17341669
Yeah I just noticed. I also thought it'd be more efficient to ask in more than one place. Thanks.
The trailer looks weird, but now I actually want to watch it.

>>17341680
It's weird as fuck. It's also one of my favorite movies of all time. If she really does like psychological movies, you're killing 2 birds with one mp4 torrent (the first bird being sex, shit gets atmospheric).

girls, sometimes i wish i had girl problems :(

long time lurker here but first time poster. this question can be answered by both genders, but i was hoping for a more female perspective since im a dude.

Does anyone have any experience with dating someone with dissociative identity disorder? What can i do to be the best partner that i can be

Where do you think it would be more likely to find decent girls worth marrying? Ie not roasties, liberal feminist, "conservative" undercover sluts, basically girls that haven't fallen for the vices of modern civilization?

How do I lower my standards so that I can settle and actually be with someone like everyone else seems to do? It seems there's so many shit people together. I want to know how they lower their standards SO FUCKING MUCH that they'd accept shit and believe them to be good. Is it alcohol or drugs?

>>17341630
yeah it's pretty weird to say something like that and then ignore you for 2 days, so in my opinion what you're thinking is natural but i suppose you could be being paranoid

did you guys have any problems you talked about before he mentioned wanting something more serious? anything you think he could be upset about that maybe contributed to him saying that? maybe he felt like he needed to take a break or something, and it might not necessarily be entirely your fault in that case

anyways, all i can say is just go out with him tomorrow and try to talk about it without choking up

did he notice when you did it over the phone?

>>17341841
>dissociative identity disorder
Female here. I used to have exactly that when I was younger. I grew out of it at 21.

I wouldn't date anyone with this, its not worth it. I was barely able to understand myself, let alone function healthily in a relationship. Wait until they either outgrow it or have it 100% under control with treatment/medication.

>>17341906
this sucks, because i really would like to be with her if at all possible.

how did you outgrow it? were you on medication beforehand? were you seeing a therapist? was it like a gradual change or did it stop altogether? assuming I'm already in a relationship with someone that has this, what advice could you give me?

Be true To thy own self, every one will follow the Example You set.

If You get Dumped, no biggie if You planned ahead.

That brain up there is not there by accident.

>>17341917
It was a gradual change. I used to have two personalities not including the one I have right now. It was hell.

It started to go away when I moved out of my childhood home, and it fully went away after about 2 years of being out of that situation.

I was on medication, but it didn't help, not in my case.

If you're already in a relationship with a girl with it, and you both dont have a child together or something equally as important, then my advice is it get out of the romantic relationship until she gets it together. You cant rely on someone like that. I would go days without being able to remember anything. Friendship is the healthiest option for you.

I had a dream last night that my gf and I tried for a kid, but she was infertile and we had to use a surrogate. This was a pretty minor point when I explained the dream to her (the main point being that it made me realize I'm not ready for a kid), but she immediately said, "We could use [two of her best friends] as a surrogate!"

Is it just me or is that kind of fucked up? Is my gf a cuck or something?

>>17341859
If we knew, we would be there instead of here.

Question for either sex.

22 year old male virgin here. How would you suggest avoiding an anxiety response talking to women I find attractive or interesting? It only happens occasionally, and I don't have the means to eliminate it entirely a more natural way.

I've spent the last decade of my life either half dead, or otherwise mentally scattered and just trying to survive and keep going. Chronic pain and health problems have shown me quite a lot about how the machinery of the human mind works, how other people work, and what's actually valuable in life. Even if I couldn't handle it or didn't want to accept it at the time, I would, eventually.

It's almost obnoxiously disjointed. I know a relationship isn't viable and won't happen, most of me doesn't really care. I don't look "bad", but I haven't cut my hair in 4 years and don't legitimately maintain much of anything as far as matching the cultural aesthetics of the time so I can get mine. Yet, every once in a while, it happens. I go to do something and just stop, or avoid it. I'm not really risking anything, what am I apprehensive about? There's little to lose, and my ego can't get bloodied up too bad because most of my self perception is based around an attempt at accuracy and realism, almost on a mechanical level. I think it stems from when I was doing very poorly and having severe anxiety problems where I couldn't even make thoughts, or was in too much pain to really converse fluidly and keep what they were saying in my head. Or didn't give a shit either way and came across as falsely hostile.

Sorry for the overhead of detail, but I do think it is necessary. It's frustrating being someone who feels like they don't have anything to gain, and therefore to lose, yet still sometimes feeling concern. It's as though feeling detached from your environment doesn't matter because I feel as though some people are actually watching for something in particular. So what I do may have an impact. I don't know.

>>17341964
No, it's just that she probably wants a kid and has trust with these women.
The formation of the thought can happen quick.

You should be real grateful that your gf has two friends.
Women don't often have friends they can trust

>>17342052
jus b urselv

>>17342058
There might be only one me, but it's made of a number of distinct subsets. And I get into some odd states, for better and worse.

I just don't understand this feeling of apprehension and nervousness. Sometimes I feel socially immortal and do what I please, sometimes I adaptively take other people into account, but this seems apart from any of that.

>>17341940
i appreciate the honest advice, thank you for your help.

i will try my best to be her friend and hold off on romantic urges. is there anything in particular that i should know or i could do for her? any general advice?

thats interesting on it going away after moving, not to pry but do you believe it was caused by environment by any chance? like did you have a rough upbringing or a traumatic experience? or did it come out of the blue?

sorry for all the personal questions, i just want to help in any way if i can. we talked for a bit today about it and i just want to understand as much as i can on it.

What do woman mean by being myself? What if myself isn't appealing to women? Should I then not be myself?

>>17342102
The implicit statement is that deep down everyone's base self and inclinations are attractive and if you jut focus on what you think is valuable, rather than attempting to engineer outcomes, that you'll make connections and people will respond positively.

This is obviously not true and largely naive most of the time. Which is why it's usually said sarcastically.

>>17342107
Then why is it said? I feel women want this to root out other men in the game of dating and attraction?

My girlfriend (Who is an actual female with a functional natural vagina) is pressuring me into ass play , she has friendly hinted that she is going to stick a finger in my anus whilst giving me a blow job & she has suggested that she trying pegging me.

I am confused because I have never insinuated that I would be into it , but I also don't want to totally shut her out because I love her .

My main concern is that if I give up my anus to her , will she lose respect for me ?

seeing me as a bitch and less of a man ?

>>17342122
If youre not comfortable with something let her know, communication is important and even more important outside of the bedroom. Because once youre in there and youre in the heat of the moment it's harder to ask her to stop because you dont want to fuck up her mood. Going through with it if youre unsure could damage your relationship and if you dont voice your discomfort she wont know shes done anything wrong/to hurt you. If you have doubts about why she wants to do this with you ask her she might think you'll like it theres a ton of weird text out there about the male G spot she might have overheard.

>>17342111
Eh, I don't know. I've not given much thought to a possible evolutionary basis, and it's too complex to model out and give a singular reason for. There's probably a decent spectrum of factors playing in.

I think for the most part people are just consistently exposed to feedback loops that are biased towards pretty sounding and feel-good, but cheap and largely unsubstantial platitudes. Heuristics to give advice without really having to delve into anything too deep with another person, what really makes people tick, and what it actually is to be that person. Comparatively few want to directly acknowledge in conversation the full nature of how things are, as it gets a bit dark.

It's like saying "there's someone for everyone", and that may well be true, but it could be quite probably you will literally, never, fall into a context where you'd establish a connection with this person. Making it kind of useless on its own.

Not to get too verbose here, but the other part of it is that it's phrase that kind of... spurs people to start to look in themselves and think about how to become the person they think they should be, which is based on internal and external factors. It's not necessarily saying "Stop fighting and faking and accept who you are".

>>17342131
Wouldn't the dark reality be that you will end up alone. The fact the phrase "be yourself" is said by almost everyone is telling that the person doesn't have an answer for the question in verbatim or at all. Another possibly is they really don't care so they give you the Hallmark gift card answer in hopes to make you feel better in the dark reality of a lonely existence without love and affection from the opposite sex. For example, I asked a girl that was a friend of mine on how I should approach a girl. She said be yourself. I told her what I would do and she rejected my tactic.

>>17342102
Don't lie about who you are to impress someone.

>>17342102
>What if myself isn't appealing to women? Should I then not be myself?
The idea is to not pretend to be someone you're not. It doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to be the best version of who you can be.

For instance, I'm an introverted nerdy guy. I have certain strengths, and certain weaknesses. I should play up those strengths rather than try to be something I'm not such as a more sports loving extroverted guy. Self improvement is a good thing, putting on an act isn't.

>>17342173
But what if your not good enough for that person?

>>17342165
Look man lifes not all that fucking complicated, it's hard but not intolerable for the most part. Somethings you can change others not so much, a relationship isn't the end all be all and learning to like who you are isn't some band aid verbatim people use when they're tired of talking to you.

Hey girls, can you tell me if this is a thought process that's legitimate?
My girlfriend still sincerely loves me (apparently), but we broke up because when we started dating, she had been pushing someone away to be with me. She wasn't cheating, she had basically already ended their relationship, but she felt she had to make him hate her or he'd feel bad.
About half a year later, she learns that he's been suffering as a result of that the entire time. She feels incredibly guilty, apparently, and ended the relationship with me because 'she needs to atone for what she's done'. That she was living a fairytale (she said I was perfect to her like no one had been) and that while she was happy, he was suffering because of what she did. Now, I'm giving her time to think and not really speaking to her, but the few times we have spoken, she's made it clear that if it wasn't for this, we'd still be in a relationship where we can fix any issue and potentially be together forever. But, at the moment, there's nothing to 'fix' between us, we were fine, it's her own issues and desire to 'suffer/be alone/atone for what she's done' that made her feel she had to end it.

If it helps, she's schizophrenic. Very mild, though, but she's been through a lot of shit.

tl;dr is girlfriend lying to me about reason she wanted to break up? She still loves me, but hurt someone else badly to be with me, feels she has to suffer and be alone to make up for it.

>>17342165
That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

People say "just be yourself" so you aren't lying to someone (and yourself) for the sole purpose of making another believe you are more than you really are.

It's easy as fuck to downplay that as a "hallmark answer," but the very fact you have to ask how to approach a girl shows you lack basic experience, and understanding.

>>17342184
Then you shouldn't be with them. It usually doesn't have anything to do with being good enough it's about compatibility. Relationships are complicated you need trust and communication both of you have to want to be in the relationship and mutual attraction can be a deal breaker for people but when it works it really works and it's a smooth as a Swiss watch. What's ultimately true when it comes to relationships is if you never put yourself out there or put something in you'll never get anything back.

>>17342194
No she's mentally unstable and has strange thought patterns. It makes no sense logically.

I dig this girl who lives near me that I used to go to school with, but I have no way to contact her ( not making a facebook ) and I only ran into her once before despite how close we live and I was with people and so was she so I didn't want to put her on the spot and ask for her number. I could make an instagram to contact her since at this point making a facebook seems like getting on a dying trend but from everything I've heard I'll just look super thirsty trying to get girls on instagram. So I guess to girls anyway to not look thirsty/creepy here and to guys is there any better way to contact her.

>>17342188
When did I not like yourself? What I said is the advice of being yourself is simply just a line spewed to others with no substance attached. Instead of giving helpful criticism. You are right on improving and loving yourself and all that jazz but if your trying to get a girl, yourself may not be enough. I could be wrong though and have low self-esteem. What do you think?

>>17342205
I already knew she was mentally unstable, but even then, I don't know how women think. I can assume, but I'm not a miracle worker. Especially not for someone who clearly has a.. warped thought pattern.
While I doubt you, or any other woman here, may know an answer since it's clearly just mental issues, is there anything you think I could do to help the situation? Whether to help her get over her own issues, or to just get back with her in general?

>>17342195
Your right in my inexperience. I have tried for the attraction through mutual intrest and chemistry but it doesn't work for me.

>>17342199
I've not mutual connection with no one and I've searched. Does that mean in theory that I will be alone?

>>17342212
You’re wrong and have low self esteem. People aren't going to help you lie or build a neat façade to get a girl, because that's what you want you aren't looking for helpful criticism to be a better person. And you need to realize people aren't idiots either if you're fake it's going to be noticeable and anyone playing along knows it too and is okay with the fakeness that's not someone you can be with long term.

>>17342229
No it means you haven't found a compatible person, it's hard to get the scope of a person over a few messages on an anonymous board. Something I've found true of people who talk like you do is that you're blowing the whole "tried looking thing" out of proportion and this small trip into depression pretty much drains you completely of hope. Focus on being happy and don't pin that happiness on a relationship or being with someone. When it fails to live up to your expectations which it could, you'll be worse off for it.

>>17342232
Yea your right on everything, but me not wanting help. I really do want help to make myself happier. In willing to listen and take constructive criticism but I'm just asking questions out of confusion.

>>17342251
Don't go looking into changing yourself to be someone people will like better, look into just being a good person. Everyone likes a good person.

>>17342250
Hmmm.... Interesting. People I've asked basically said that I blow negitives in my life out of proportion and that I make my life harder than it is. Any advice on turning that around?

>>17342256
Yea, any advice how to be a better happy person?

>>17340830
why wouldn´t it be ok for fucks sakes
wear whatever you want and don´t give a fuck

if someone here replied "no, wear thick socks, long jeans and a sweater" would you go to the beach bar just because that may be trendy?

>>17342260
Don't second guess yourself or overthink on the negative parts of your life. If you catch yourself in a negative thought cycle do something about it even when wallowing in misery feels justified and seductive.

>>17342214
No honestly anon I don't if you love her let her know. But you can't convince someone else you can't change someone else when they don't want to change themselves. If you think there's a shred of doubt in her I say try. Try and let her know you care but if not you'll only hurt yourself and exhaust yourself trying to move a mountain. Realize your limit before you go chasing someone into mental illness set a limit on how much you want to let it hurt you because my mom is bipolar and setting a limit to how much abuse I can take while giving her comfort is the only thing that protects me when she goes off the end.

>>17342277
Thanks for advice anon, just one more question for you. What do you mean by do something about it?

>>17342296
It means get up and do something don't dwell on bad thoughts you know when you get an uncomfortable image in your head and you distract yourself so as to not think about it almost the same thing