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What do I do if my life is so shit I literally can't be alive. I have problems with my family so just giving up to die alone in a basement isn't even an option.

I literally have no social life. Everyone I meet or talk to hates me I have no idea why. People are really put off by me and avoid me I have no idea why. Now I'm just fucked because being socially recluse for so long fucked with my head and I can't have any type of friendship or relationship.

I have literally no girls in my life at all and I hate myself so much I would never want to date anyone and weigh them down. I have such a fear of intimacy and dead inside feeling that I can't even get aroused during sex.

I literally feel physically sick and drained most the time just from being so depressed and having a lack of fun or laughter in my life. Every time I try to be outgoing I look like a dumb ass and piss everyone off around me.

Now it's gotten so bad I can't sleep at night without drinking or smoking pot and popping pills. When I'm drunk or on benzos I look like a retard and say dumb shit on my phone and shit like that.

Before I always thought ok well I'm young I'll figure it out it'll get better I have time. Nope now I'm 24 and the biggest reason for wanting to kill myself; I'm already half bald. If I part my hair or anything you can see my hairline going halfway up my forehead. I'm literally the only person. So now I have no social life, no hair, no girlfriend. When I was younger in high school people would at least talk to me or approach me and I had the occasional girlfriend. Now people won't even talk to me or look at me people literally won't even add me on Facebook.

What the fuck do I do? It's literally like I just stepped through a wormhole into a world where everything is shit. I feel like I died and went to hell already or something.