Alright, friends. I need help. I need your help.
For a while now, I've been a negative person. Often unhappy with how things are and pretty vocal about it. I used to go on about how my life sucks and whatnot. This led many people that are dear to me to distance themselves, including my now ex-wife(although this isn't the sole reason for the divorce, but this post isn't about that).
I'm not going to list the reasons I think my life sucks, that's probably counter productive.
Oftentimes, I have these intrusive negative thoughts, such as "I want to put a bullet in my head" or "Going on isn't worth it". But I don't want to kill myself, as much as I do struggle to find reasons to go on. Not only that, sometimes when I leave a certain someone a message, and they don't reply right away, replying after several hours, I get greatly upset. Logically, there's no reason for that, at least not immediately obvious ones.
Friends, bottom line is: I'm a negative person and I want to change. I need to change. How do I do that? Pic may be related, hell if I know.
Thank you for reading.
i was depressed in my youth, here is what I do different since then:
>find things you like
for me i came to the conclusion, that i find it fascinating, how people grow up from a child to a humble human beeing, and even if I would never achieve anything, i would still not kill myself for the sole purpose that I want to watch kids grow.
I put off the preasure i and my parents put on me. I basically said, it's ok if I am not the center of attention, if I dont play the main role in the world. It's enough if I am an bystander who just watches and enjoys.
Since then I'm not depressed anymore.
>So what are things you like?
Since then I also have no regrets doing what i like, I love computers and love building them. nobody will ever take that away from me.
Once you learn to see the big things positive, you will also start to do the same with small things. When my GF doesnt message me back right away, i think that she is bussy, which is good.
Try to find a positive explanation for everything you are unsure off.
e.g. If your wife doesn't tell you about her meeting a guy, don't assume she tries to hide it from you (which is a negative thought) but just aswell, she could think it's not a big deal, because she loves you so much.
This has implications for a relationship. When you educate children and trat them like unreasonable little shits, thats what they are gonna be, but if you treat them like little adults, you educate them to become adults.
A relationship works good, when you think positive about your partner, and yes, you can change the way you act. just as much as you could beat her, but dont, you can give her compliments but dont.
>>17329653
This does put things into perspective. It's true I didn't compliment her as much as I should have, or encouraged her or simply been there for her. I'll try and work on making my interpersonal relationships more positive.
I have no passions for hobbies, other than playing video games and GMing for my friend(s). I do plan on learning more skills and reading more books.
Thank you for your input, friend.
>>17329659
how old are you?
sports is always great, having friends iRL is great aswell, a lot of guys are lonely and the best quality to become a friend is listening.
>>17329684
I'm in my late 20s. Not really of a sports person, my friends are all into the same thing as me, although they all have their respective partners.
>>17329699
same here man, same here
i try to get better in making music, progress there makes me so happy and if you´re down stuff that makes you happy is key
also i was very negative too but i slowly train myself to see the positives in things which makes like so much easier
>>17329714
Thanks, man. I've been working on my games, and so far all my players really like it. It's a very gratifying feeling.
>>17329640
Ultimately negativity is energy, regardless of the fact that it is running in the opposite direction from your goals, it still contains the fuel you can use to slowly and little by little turn around and go the other way.
Negativity is your representation of a situation that presents itself to you. Try to reevaluate these situations with some scope that is beyond you perspective. Not everything runs to harm or disable you. Your path has a greater bearing on this, and you will come to see that just as negativity breeds negativity, positive though also does the same and draws people and happiness towards you.
When you have done as much of this as you can, you will still be left with some crap in your life. For me it's parts of my personality that some people just don't like. I accept this. I'm only human. I have flaws. Can't please everyone, and for the most part I know I'm a pretty good person more often than not.
Small changes OP.. Over time. Don't expect an immediate change, cause you have to see and feel the nuances of change in order to appreciate them.
Good luck.
>>17329736
This means a lot to me. Thank you.
>>17329718
keep doing it dude, stay on the ball even if sometimes you lack motivation
that´s normal and okay, we can´t work everyday on creative stuff because creativity comes and goes as it pleases
>>17329792
Will do, thanks
>>17329749
You're welcome :)
>>17329899
You're surrounded by chicks, I bet it helps!
Bad jokes are the one thing I can't let go of.
