I need people to judge me and slap some sense into me.
I grew up with a disability that made me a social recluse and made people want to avoid me at all costs. This was eventually corrected with surgery, but life hasn't been easy since then and I've had to fight for every good thing in my life. I worked hard, I studied hard, I even lost all the weight I gained from comfort eating. I grew up thinking I'd die alone because of my disability, and here I am with a wonderful boyfriend who loves me despite my disability and being awkward.
And I can't stop craving attention. I'd never cheat on my boyfriend, but recently I've just really wanted to create online profiles and Instagrams and Snapchats and Tumblrs (things I've never used) of people to talk to me and like me and look at me.
I have few friends in real life and a lot of them are on the autistic spectrum. My conversation is never appreciated, they just want to talk about what they like and I could easily be replaced by a wall. Nobody cares about me on social media either. I worked my ass off for something recently and nobody cared. Someone I knew from university who has literally lectured someone for not attempting suicide properly does the same thing? HUNDREDS of likes.
I'm sick of being invisible and unappreciated, but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend in any way. Please someone slap some sense into me and tell me this imaginary world where people online will care about me doesn't exist or isn't as glamorous as it sounds. I hate feeling like this and I just want it to stop.
People don't exist to congratulate you or to slap some sense into you. Nobody cares about what you or anyone else has achieved. YOU have to convince US that what you've done is worth a shit.
>>17326628
>Nobody cares about what you or anyone else has achieved.
I disagree. Hundreds of people shared in that person's news because they were happy for what she had achieved and what was coming up in her future.
Nobody really cares about me despite me being an objectively good person. I've never hurt anyone deliberately or made someone feel bad. I give everyone the time of day which explains why I know more people than average on the autistic spectrum. I know it's all getting very woe-is-me here, but it deeply frustrates me and it seems the quickest way to get people to notice you is by being a pretty girl on social media. Nobody really cares about me being a good person.
Look ya spaz, getting attention online doesn't mean dick. It's not going to satisfy you, i guarantee it. What you need are new friends. Sticking around in a whirlpool of borderline autismos isn't helping your social situation. Meet different people, go out to social settings, but DO NOT cheat on your boyfriend. If you flirt it up with a bunch of different guys and find you like then you'll have to make that choice between having a boyfriend or wanting to be a skank, but be warned, getting a new sausage in your oven every night probably won't make tou feel that much better. Just make new friends, get attention in a healthy way. Just don't be a whore.
>>17326628
You're wrong about one thing. She has to convince HERSELF that she is worth a shit. She has low self esteem and craves validation from others. Typical attention whore.
OP, get some self help books and start working on YOURSELF.
>>17326637
>Nobody really cares about me despite me being an objectively good person
If you need people to reward you for being good then you're not objectively good, you're selfish and think that doing good things will get you praised. If you were truly good, you'd do what's right because it's right even if it nets you no personal gain.
The problem is you.
You have zero self esteem, and that's the cause for many of your problems. Maybe your disability caused your self esteem to plummet or maybe it solidified it, but you need to fix your self esteem and stop blaming your disability for everyone hating you. It's a bullshit excuse and deep down you know it. You have friends that don't care about you because you allow it. You don't think highly of yourself so you don't seek new friends because in your mind you'll never be able to make new ones. You want to go the social media route because you think you can be whoever you want to be aka not you, and then others will start to care. Let me just tell you no one really cares. Doesn't matter how many likes, hearts, or comments you get they don't care about you or what you did. Just like here on /adv/ we may appear to care because we took the time to read and write advice to help others, but once I or anyone else clicks away we forget about you.
Start caring about yourself and what you do for yourself. Stop doing things to have others pat you on the head and tell you you did good.
If I may ask, what is your disability?
>>17326641
I generally find it challenging to find friends who aren't 'autismos'. I tend to find myself in male spaces and most stop talking to me when they find out I have a boyfriend which is seriously pathetic. The girlfriend of a friend has started liking me and she's very much into her Instagrams and Snapchats and whatnot. I feel very distant from that world being a shut-in and I've become more curious about it.
>>17326681
That's not what I meant. I don't do good deeds for recognition, more the fact that I want people to know I'm a good person to have in their life and someone who won't hurt them. I know I keep bringing up this hundreds of likes person, but she's hurt a lot of people and I can't understand why so many people care about her.
>>17326642
>>17326765
I do have low self-esteem, but I work on myself a lot and I read a lot. It just feels quite lonely when you've spent about two decades working on yourself and barely anyone is there to root for you and cheer you on. I've barely had things like birthday parties or celebration meals because, quite simply, no one was there to care for me.
>>17326784
Fuck it, I'm anonymous so why not.
My bowel is very damaged and so I had to wear diapers until I had corrective surgery at thirteen. My bowel still isn't perfect but at least I can wear underwear now. Word spread quickly that I was the diaper girl so nobody wanted to be my friend.
Three years later I had to have more surgery because they found a huge tumour inside me. I have a massive surgery scar from that too.
>>17326614
Listen, everyone whats to be accepted and well-liked.
What you have to understand is that no one cares. You recovered from a disability? Good for you. You worked hard at something? Great. You expect everyone to put down what they're doing and throw a parade because to stopped eating nine big macs a day? This is human nature. If you don't have something that's appealing or useful to others; then why should they bother with it? This applies to social media as well. People will like something for social approval, to help get them ahead of others.
Get your act together. You have someone in your life who cares enough to call you his girlfriend, and thats not enough? I'm sure you have family who care for you to. Stop being ungrateful and seeking approval from strangers. You should do everything in your life for you, because at the end of the day, you're the only person who's option should matter.
Until you accept those things, you're going to feel the way you do now. God speed.
>>17326829
Sounds like a shitty situation
>>17326829
>I don't do good deeds for recognition, more the fact that I want people to know I'm a good person to have in their life and someone who won't hurt them
Maybe your not explaining it well but that sounds exactly like you're doing things to be recognized as safe and good.
> I know I keep bringing up this hundreds of likes person, but she's hurt a lot of people and I can't understand why so many people care about her.
People don't care if you're good. The people who are liking her stuff think that eugenics is a "good" thing so when they hear what they believe to be their own opinion, they recognize that "good deed." You really shouldn't use shitty people like that as a measuring stick for your own life and what you think of as good or right since it'll just consume you. If you're truly good and aim to do good for goodness sake, you wouldn't pay these people any mind.
