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Anonymous
conflicting feelings towards ex
2016-07-02 18:22:35 Post No. 17316853
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conflicting feelings towards ex
Anonymous
2016-07-02 18:22:35
Post No. 17316853
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I'm 24, She's 18.
I've made the grave mistake of adding my ex back to give '' a better explanation to why i left''. I followed an advice from /adv/ (a good one, if you're reading this is passing for a similar problem), and broke up with her after being tired of her immatureness and mostly because she attempted to make me jealous with a guy that legitimately raped her(long story, the rape was legit, she's still an attentionwhore and i'm aware, don't worry). I felt angry and hatred, but couldn't manage to find a reason to break up because for some reason i didn't want to admit that was the reason. So i just said i couldn't go on, that i wasn't feeling the same as her and left, without expecting an answer and what not. That was a good decision, and a good advice in general.
Now, the bad decision again; for some reason, i added her back, and gave her a better explanation. She said i should have communicated better that those things ''trigger'' me and stuff, which i found ridiculous. She wanted to get back, i said no, yadda yadda. Thing is, we still talk, we play together, but everytime i play together, i feel hatred.
That very same kind of hatred i felt on the day she tried to make me jealous,just not of course the same intensity. Whether she brings a friend or not, i just hate being in contact. I think things will go smoothly, then we just need to play together for me to feel incredible bad again. That disgust, that hate, everything (which, to this day, she doesn't comprehend, since she's immature) comes.
I know i should just cut contact again. But i want to know why, other than feeling that. Why am i feeling that? Am i still not over her? Is it jealousy over friends when she invites them to bring with us? I know those options sounds ridiculous and the answer is rather obvious, but i want to know. I want to hear; What should i do, and why do i feel this? Also please tell me how dumb i was in adding her back. I really need to be beaten the fuck out.