Suspicion
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
If i think my bf is cheating, is it acceptable to look athis phone?
>>17312985
Just ask if he is. Read his body language when he answers.
>>17312985
Just sit him down and lay out all of the reasons you believe he is cheating and ask. Accessing someone's phone/laptop/whatevz without their permission could backfire and you in jail these days.
>>17312985
why do you think he is cheating? i have thought that past partners where cheated but they where really just preparing to break up with me
Original poster - when i do try and communicate with, about most anything, he takes it as a personal attack and immediately overreacts with "then why are you even with me? Maybe i should be with someone else!"
Reactions like that make over simple things makes me feel as if he'd break up if my suspicion were wrong....
>>17312985
Why do you think he's cheating
>>17312999
Sorry, but if he is on guard like that, that means he is hiding something.
>>17312999
Reactions like this should confirm that he is cheating on you.
Also
>Original poster
You're adorable.
Original poster- we don't live together but he has a lot of female friends and he gets hit on a lot by women. I've never met his friends and we never talk at night. He says he doesn't want to talk in the evenings since he wants to relax. He's on his phone an awful lot when we're together, mainly facebook messenger. I know this because i've glanced and recognised, but never snooped.
Original poster-now i just feel stupid! Worst part, i really do like like him. L words and all! And he's said it back and i believed it! ):
>>17313011
Ask one of his friends if something is questionable. Be very serious with one and I think they would be serious with you.
When I had that gut feeling my girlfriend was cheating, I put out all the evidence I found, and she lied her way out of it, but I still knew. She just played the deny deny deny card.
I eventually found out 100% by guessing one of her generic passwords she told me back in the day to an email account of hers, then went to all the emails for different accounts she had online, using that email to reset the password on them, and found exactly what I was looking for.
>>17312985
>>17313011
>>17313020
why do you even like him? he sounds like he doesent really care about you. is is jut because he is good looking and improves your social image? if he has lots of female friends, he probably is cheating. No guy has lots of female friends unless he is trying to get into them or gay.
>>17313063
>No guy has lots of female friends unless he is trying to get into them or gay.
[citation needed]
>>17312985
>is it acceptable to look athis phone?
no, and not out of legal reasons, but out of moral reasons
(the ends never justify the means)
>>17313063
>why do you even like him? he sounds like he doesent really care about you.
this
>>17313067
>(the ends never justify the means)
Wrong.
Original poster-i like him because he made me feel special and we did a lot of really great and exciting things together.
>>17313073
>Wrong.
sure thing Max
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad
>three personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy
>Machiavellianism
sorry if this sounds harsh OP, but in the long run, seeing as you will get over it either way if he cheated, it really doesn't pay to also have had yourself cross a line like that over some cheating loser (if he cheated at all (possibly yes, but on the off chance that he didn't, it'll feel even worse for you)
And at this point it sounds like whether he technically cheated or not is just completely a red herring, as you guys don't seem to be working a couple at all by how he reacts to your questions.
it's literally just not worth it for you to have also crossed a line like that for this guy, the way he's behaving currently
>>17312987
>body language
kek. Everybody thinks they're an expert at reading body language when accusing people of shit, when the truth is that many people will act shifty and defensive even if they haven't actually done anything.
>>17313139
That's why you do test runs. Ask him something that he would tell the truth at and then ask him something that he would lie about that isn't as invasive.
Go ahead. I did it and found out they were cheating on me.
What's the worst that cound happen? Either he's cheating and it doesn't matter if you looked because you're dumping his ass or he's not cheating and never finds out you looked.
It's only wrong if you get caught -- much like his cheating.
>>17313159
No, wrong. People will react differently depending on the type of question. Unless you ask some other accusatory question along the lines of "Are you cheating on me," then the reasoning behind this has so many holes.
>>17313179
>It's only wrong if you get caught -- much like his cheating.
So by that reasoning she should just not look at all and automatically there will be no problem if he just keeps cheating and she isn't looking.
He doesn't exactly sound like a keeper, even if he's faithful.
Don't look at his phone. Just move on.
