Hi /adv/
I'm a 20 yo guy, who's a medstudent. I always learnt very well, was first in my class in high school and college, however I invested way too much time into studying, and it was very detrimental for my social life. So I recognized at 20 that I'm a complete social retard.
I can't hold a conversation with anyone, I always find people boring, I can't really do anything with subjective opinions. I got used to dealing with facts and strong evidence that I just subconsciously find anything that's not backed up by strong evidence or facts as boring. Almost every conversation I have with anyone ends with I just getting bored of others when if I objectively try to judge myself I'm sure I'm the boring one. I just don't know how to get to know people and enjoy myself without either getting really bored, or hurting others by trying to correct them.
It's even worse with women to whom I can't relate at all. There was a girl who was always nice to me, wanted to meet me, we just talked about things, then it got boring for me, and I just left. Last week her girlfriend told me she was all over me, and she was really hurt when I was really cold to her and dismissive. It wasn't the first time a girl has fallen for me and I didn't even recognize it. Feels like shit.
How to cure social obliviousness and retardedness?
>>17312762
Dude, you're a 20-year-old med student. It could be astronomically worse.
Hang in there. When it's all said and done, you will only have to show face at events/bars/whatevz and when someone asks "What do you do?" and you say "I'm a Doctor," you've instantly hit the top of the food chain.
>>17312762
>How to cure social obliviousness and retardedness?
It'll cure itself in your profession.
>>17312877
>It could be astronomically worse.
No doubt about that. Having no friends and generally being cringey is awful though.
>you've instantly hit the top of the food chain.
That only means people want to exploit me. It doesn't make me actually likeable as a person.
>>17312878
I doubt it. I'm ok with test tubes and patients if they actually have some problem I can solve, but I'm awfully retarded to people.
>>17312887
I get it.
There are plenty of smart females in your position right now as well. Just do you, but stay aware of how you interact with people, and in time you'll bump into the right person.
>>17312903
>stay aware of how you interact with people
How to do that?
>>17312762
Join the club, OP.
Also going to be a doc and terrible with socializing, even my colleagues.
The thing is, I'm capable of becoming popular and a leader, but it takes so much energy that I choose to ignore everybody instead. I only did it in med school when I had beef with a muslim chick, so I had to conjure up her social circle and have a stronghold on it. The bitch started respecting me and bringing me papers and shit. I became 200% more knowledgeable and efficient than everybody else and showed them this, I earned their respect and I tried very hard to be the one that knows what to do and when to do it. So the positives fed on themselves. But I quickly fell into my old antisocial ways once I saw that I didn't have to think of how to defeat/destroy her any longer.
Becoming social takes a lot of time and energy. First two years aren't about that.
If you want to become popular--and it feels good--you have to give it time, thought, and energy. I don't have to tell you what to do, you're a medical student just think about it. It's not harder than neuroanatomy.
It's gonna be draining but it can be worth it.
>>17313280
Thanks for the encouraging response.
I feel the same way about socializing. It takes a lot of time and energy. I can put on a facade for a while if I really force it, but it's not me and it is very tiring. Socialization just doesn't come to me naturally. I can't enjoy it as most of my peers seem to do. Most of them are party animals and can still perform acceptably academically.
> It's not harder than neuroanatomy
I wish. If you don't understand something in neuroanatomy at the first read, you can always read the book again without being judged permanently as a cringefest, and it's factual knowledge which I learnt how to manage.
Maybe I'm just inexperienced and with experience I'll be all right, but the realization just struck me and it feels awful.
>>17312762
Make small social goals and ramp up the difficulty over time. Write these goals down and describe how successful you were at accomplishing them each day.
Don't make these goals very large. I.e. instead of making the goal "I want to be able to hold a conversation with anyone", make a goal like "I'll make small chat with 3 people today"
You can progress from small chat with random people (no one will care if you fuck up), to slightly larger conversations with randoms or people who you would deal with anyway (store clerks, telephone calls, etc.), and then holding conversations with people who you see regularly (this is how you generate friends and you will get more practice since you will see them regularly).
The only way to fix this is to go out and socialize! Hope this helped.
>>17312762
>hurr look at how smart i am
>durr so smart I regard errone boring cuz dei so dum
Fuck off you arrogant piece of shit
>>17313366
Never said they were dumb. Lot of them react like you do though. That's why I'm bad at socializing. I don't know how to handle people's insecurities.
