What should I do?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Me and my gf has been together for 4 years. Ive saved up 10k. She told me that I promised her 4 years ago I would buy a house for us. If I she helped me to get on my feet. Which she did. She says she does not want to rent anymore and feel as if she is going nowhere financially. I just helped pay for some of her new vehicle she bought. Gave her 300 for the 2k it cost. She says if I dont buy a house she is leaveing me. House cost anywhere from 7k-10k I only have 13k to my name.
Here are my choices.
1-Invest in house, rent out one of the rooms to get back my investment.
Sell house in two years making a profit also.
2-Stay with mom helping her continue to save money and leave state in 2 years with all my cash. Let gf leave me.
Here are some facts you need to know.
While I was dirt poor going for my AA degree she paid all the rent and payed to upkeep my vehicle. Shes spent about 10k taking care of us.
She paid for me to get a special technical license to get a good job. I now make 2400 a month with this job.
I now am continueing my education to get a BA. Once I graduate I will make 100k a year.
She now lives in an apartment broke and hardly able to pay her bills.
She makes 800 a month.
I live with my mom saving most of my money.
I plan on leaveing the state I am in when finished with my BA in 2 years.
My mother has cancer and is unable to pay her bills that I help with.
No family to help me if something goes wrong
>>17312257
>House cost anywhere from 7k-10k I only have 13k to my name.
1. If you have more than enough money in the bank to buy a house but still choose to rent one you're and idiot
2. Which country do you live in to be able to buy a house for 10,000 currency units? I can't think of any country that has either such a high value currency or such low property prices.
>>17312257
Have you paid your gf back what she invested in you? It would morally be the right choice to pay her back if you decide to leave.
You could also move somewhere where your mom can live in a tiny appartment in the upper part of the house, and you and your gf can live together.
The main question is, what type of future do you want with your gf? Your decision should be based on what you want in the future.
>>17312257
Ditch the bitch.
>>17312354
This.
"If you don't buy me a fucking house it's over"
What the fuck man. I mean, I know you promised, but threatening to dump you, I think it's too much.
>>17312283
>Which country do you live in to be able to buy a house for 10,000 currency units?
I am fucking seconding this. :(
I have 100,000$ saved up and it's only a third of a fucking house...
I live in america, in the south east. Manufactured homes are cheap. You can get a very nice 3 bedroom one for 10k. And turn it around for a good profit. I am mad that my girlfriend gave me this type of altimatum. It make me not want a future with her.
But than again, if my mom dies. I will be fucked, useing all my money to rent. Or buy a house anyway. And if I rent. I could lose my job and be fucked. The best choice is the choice that will save my ass. And keep me financially secure. I cant ensure my gf will be with me forever. But I know I will have myself forever. If I have a house ill be ok. It wouldnt matter than of I lost my job, or mother died, or gf left me. I would still be alright with a house in my name. She doesnt even want her name on it. And if shit goes sour, I can always kick her out.
It is too much for her to say shit like that. She said she would leave me and we are done. Its the best decision for me to buy a house anyway. But not sure now if I should tell her to get lost process. I could just live at my mothers still and save continue saving money. And buy a house when im ready, or maybe my mom will live. And I can buy a house in another state like I wanted.
>>17312434
Whatever you do OP, don't put it under her name.
So heres the situation now that I think of it more.
If I stay with mother and continue helping her and save more money she could die. Than id have to buy a home quick, id have more money by than.
Or I could buy a home now. Rent out one of the rooms. Get my investment back quickly. And be completely independant no longer having to rely on anyone for help. And be comfy with say fuck you get lost to my gf at that point. If she continues to act like this.
I AM DEFINITELY NOT putting her name on the home if I buy it. I am not marrying her either. Or having kids.
>>17312438
OP, you're thinking a little too hard about this.
The simple fact is you haven't graduated yet, let alone secured a job. It's possible your job hunt may force you to move. Normally people buy a house that works with their job location, they don't look for jobs near their houses.
By the way here is the house.
>>17312434
Maybe she is pushing you because she knows you're capable. I was wary to buy a house, it's a big responsibility. I normally make the big decisions in the family, and especially when it comes to finances and stuff, but my spouse just took the reigns on the house buying stuff, and I am really glad we did it. If she is being a shrew about it, it's one thing, but if she is firm about it from a logical standpoint, and you're otherwise stable in your relationship, I think you should take another look at it.
>>17312434
So, a trailer in Alabama?
I have a job and its near the house, I make 2400 a month. Its a stable job that requires a state license. Besides the fact that in the south east than can lay you off any day. I am not doing my career job yet that requires my BA im working on. But my current job is near the house im looking at.
I think the smart thing to do would be to save money and stay helping mom. And not commit to buying a house in a state I dont plan on staying in.
But the house could increase my earnings if I bought it and I could gain back my investment quickly.
So all in all what choice leave me with more money quicker in the long run?
Probably buying a house, renting out one of the rooms. And selling it when I leave. Will leave me with more money than I would get saving money at moms.
So ill buy the house. My gf is no longer a concern. My future is what matters. So I will get the house. But not for her, or because she told me to. But because its a choice that will get me the most money the quickest.
Real estate is a good investment.
I can't fucking imagine not buying a house for that cheap. Save up a couple more paycheques and then do it.
Houses in my area are selling for 1mill and I live in bumfuck suburbs.
>>17312462
Don't buy a house in the rural south. Don't buy a house before you start your career. Don't be bullied into buying a house.
Fuck my gf for pulling that shit. If she continues her tude after I get the house GET THE FUCK OUT BITCH.
Don't buy shit until you finish your BA.
If she is bent up about a trailer, of all things, let her leave.
Even if she helped you through a rough time its not fair to make such demands.
Perhaps you can help subsidize some of her living costs while continuing to save? It may make her less cranky
Im not being bullied into buying a house. I just said that its the best way for me to make a lot of money real quick while im in college. And if I lose my job while I live in the house I still have income from someone renting a room. But if I live with my mom and she dies or I rent. And lose my job, ill be in a fucked situation. Not even being able to attened college cuz ill be homeless. So I will buy house.
She said shed pay for reapairs to house, half utilitys and I can keep the money collected from a renting tenant. And I will keep the money for the house when sold. And her name wont be on it. I think this is a good idea now.
You don't live with your gf of 4 years and she paid your way through college?
Ditch her or agree to buy a fucking house together. You don't buy one overnight and you can start putting together money for a mortgage. I don't see the issue there (though there are clearly issues in this relationship).
>>17312478
If you do buy a house and want to leave after college, what are the odds that you'll be able to sell your house? What's the market for sellers? By buying a house, you might be tying yourself down somewhere.
IF A WOMAN EVER GIVES YOU AN ULTIMATUM, LEAVE.
She will do it again because she knows it works. She will not respect you for being overpowered by her. Women push this "equal rights but worship me" bullshit to subconsciously weed out the beta males that can't take care of them. This is why they always go for the bad boy, and "nice guys finish last". They don't even know they are doing it, so they really can't be blamed.
Tell her you.l5ove her but you are not buying a house right now. Fuck this guy >>17312283 Don't buy a fucking house until you know where you wanna live, can make steady payments, etc. Just because you can buy a house doesn't mean you should. What the fuck. Responsibility.
If she doesn't respect that, she doesn't love you enough to be down for life, so why bother? For richer or poorer, blah blah blah. If she won't be with you renting, do you.really want to attach your name to a house with her? Come on dude.
>She says if I dont buy a house she is leaveing me.
W
E
W
If my gf did this to me I'd dump her instantly, she values the house over you m8.
Her name would not be on the house. But clearly I am being bullied. And I dont really want to do this. I think ill dump her.
>>17312434
Did she say: "anon. If you don't buy me a house right now we're fucking done! "
Or
"Anon. I'm in a really bad place after spending so much money on us. If you don't do something soon I have to move on baby :("
Big difference
>>17312441
All I can think Is that you're an asshole. If she payed 10k to help you get your shit together and now she can barely pay rent then you DO owe her. Stop being selfish. Most women wouldn't do that for someone they love.
She's right to be angry if she thought of that as loan and not a gift and now you're gonna skip out on her without paying.
>>17313111
not really
>>17313123
It's the difference between an envy and a need.
