Too independent?????

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Anonymous
Too independent????? 2016-06-30 15:57:52 Post No. 17309864
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Too independent????? Anonymous 2016-06-30 15:57:52 Post No. 17309864 [Report]

I'm 18 and i have a boyfriend that i spoil to pieces. I buy him anything he wants, give him random gifts, take him shopping, pay for all out dates. He's veeeery appreciative but get irritated sometimes at the fact that i won't let him pay for anything ever. Same with my friends. Whenever we go out i HAVE to pay for myself, no matter if somebody else offers to treat. I think it's a habit i've had all my life. I never let anyone do even the simplest things for me because i don't want to be anybody's burden or for anybody to be able to throw anything they did for me back in my face. But my inability to let anyone else pay for me/buy me things sometimes irritates and offends people..
How do i get over this? Should i get over this? Advice? Opinions?

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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:06:32 Post No.17309882
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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:06:32 Post No.17309882 [Report]

>>17309864

>>or for anyone to throw it back in my face

Do you do this to other people as well? As in, you'll say "yeah? Well what about all those things i did..."

Personally i think you are mistaken. Its not that you are "too independent" (which honestly is just a humble-brag), it's that you don't trust people, are afraid of being vulnerable, and that you don't want to be burdened by other people's social expectations or contracts

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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:24:09 Post No.17309917
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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:24:09 Post No.17309917 [Report]

>>17309882
I never throw things back in people's face because i find it childish and rude and absolutely hate when people do it to me.
That's what everybody calls it, being "independent" so i assumed that's what it is. But you might be right... I have no clue how to overcome it though. It makes me SO uncomfortable when people do things for me

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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:25:57 Post No.17309918
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Anonymous 2016-06-30 16:25:57 Post No.17309918 [Report]

>>17309917
Not that guy but honestly it's fine to treat your boyfriend so don't think that's a bad thing, however I agree with him, take small steps to let people treat you, maybe ask a friend to buy you a drink next time your out? And see how it goes , good luck