Does anyone have any outside input on this?
I'm 24 now and extremely naive and sheltered and inexperienced. Female. I just got out of a 2 year LDR in which we never met before, and now I think I have a "real boyfriend". Like one that can actually hold me. I'm really scared, not of him, but all these experiences are so new. I've never been made out with before. I've never had someone on top of me. I've never had someone feel me up.
I still feel really sad about my LDR boyfriend. If there was anyone I wanted to lose my virginity to, it was him. I am honestly terrified of losing my virginity because I know I won't be the same after. And it's the closest you can get with someone. I'm scared of fucking up. I'm scared I physically won't be able to handle it (I'm so tiny and fragile, and I don't think my hips can open wide enough to accommodate my irl boyfriend). Also he has a really big penis (he claims its 8 inches). Terrified here. Afaik I don't want to lose my virginity ever.
Thoughts?
Just wait until you're ready and don't worry about it until then. Might as well consider waiting for marriage at this point.
you don't have to take his entire penis in.
he can go slow, start with fingering increasing number of fingers to meet the girth of his cock so when he inserts it is already pretty open
>>17309640
Three things to know about losing your virginity
1. It will only hurt if you have an intact hymen or he is really, really bad at it.
2. It probably won't be wonderful (but might) the first time, but good enough to make you willing to try again, and it will get better.
3. The fact of losing virginity looms larger in advance than afterwards. Your response is likely to be a bit of a letdown just because your life won't change instantly and radically.
>>17309640
>I am honestly terrified of losing my virginity because I know I won't be the same after.
Yes you will. You'll be the exact same person after you lose your virginity as you are now and anyone who has told you different is ignorant or lying.
I'm sorry about your last boyfriend. Have you stopped to think that maybe you're still getting over that loss and your more emotionally unready than anything to have sex? Something to consider, it's a bad idea to try to lose your virginity if you're still pining for someone else.
All that being said, when you're emotionally ready to try it, there's really nothing to be scared of. In fact, being scared is probably the worst thing you can do because you'll be tense and everything on you will be tight and it could wind up being fairly painful.
Just remember, people have been physically intimate with each other for as long as there have been people. It's the most wonderfully natural thing in the world, and we as a species have pretty much perfected the whole sex thing from an enjoyment standpoint. Guys lie about how big their dicks are and even if he's 8 inches, he'll be able to fit it inside you just fine. The trick is how deep he can go, but just take it slow, do what feels good, find your limits, and enjoy experimenting with it. Sex is the best thing ever, don't let repressed people try and trick you.
Courage is confronting fear, not the absence of fear. Choose the life, character and situation you want to have, and try to keep courage as your focus. Never lose your courage; it'll be hard at first, and get easier each time, until you enjoy it. Accept the fear, don't be afraid of fear because then you'll just get more fear and be even more paralysed and unable to open up sexually or emotionally. Accept that it's scary, accept that it maybe painful. If there is pain, don't give up - go easy, go light - but don't give up, and seek to keep trying. The fear and pain will subside with each other so long as you remember your courage to confront it. I promise you it'll be pleasurable and far from scary before you know it. Furthermore, the act of sex aside, confronting your fears, finding new levels of yourself with the help of your boyfriend will only bring you closer together as a result; closer than you could get without a challenge to work through together. Fear and barriers offer that opportunity for people, so try to focus on courage; you will get everything you're after and more.
>>17309673
I don't have an intact hymen because I have (and have used) a dildo
>>17309681
You're right I'm probably just emotionally not ready. I didn't have a period of grieving to get over who I considered my best friend for years. The LDR just wasn't working out, and I couldn't stand being alone, isolated, and not hugged. That's it. It was just the distance. Nothing was wrong with him
>>17309705
I want to try to be courageous. I'm the kind of person who is ruled by fear
>>17309640
if you're tight, build up to it. its not that hard. start pushing larger, and larger objects into your vagina until you can comfortably take 8 inches.
