Hi. I dont know what to do anymore in my relationship and I can feel myself getting more fucking insane by the second and I cant stop myself.
We are long distance and before anyone says anything no I do not belive he is cheating on me on the one fact that he doesnt like to interact with people and before getting this job he was a neet. Now he goes to work comes home and plays games and watchs movies.
My boyfriend and I have had some trouble, the main thing is that he doesnt talk to me much anymore which he blames on being tired from a job hes just started and that i dont try to talk hard enough.
At first I understood, brought it up to him that I would like to talk to him more even if its a 10 minute phone call, to which he said he would try.
If anything its gotten worse.
I have tried texting alot to get conversation out of him because he says we have nothing to talk about anymore, and he still barely talks.
I've tried giving him space for a week, only messaging him when he messages me in an attempt to prompt him to talk a bit more but that didnt change.
Last night I lost it because it was Sunday, we both had the day off work and he could not be bothered to reply to my texts for 4 hours. I understand that this may sound insane and it probably is but we both were at home doing nothing. I had messaged him enough times for him to have taken notice of his phone and I truly believe he simply chose to ignore him.
This is after a week of me backing off and giving him space.
I snapped, sent him a wall of text asking if this is what he wants, if it isnt then i would like to know, that I would like to talk about this and why he doesnt talk to me anymore.
He replied 'what do you want me to say'.
I repeated what I said to which I got no reply. I assumed he was playing a game like he always does so I waiting and text again, still no reply. So I called him, to which he replied 'stop im trying to sleep'.
So that pissed me off because he again ignored me.
You're stupid, he's a cunt too but you're stupid
Dude's acting like a piece of shit. When you're in a relationship with someone, whether your a boy or a girl, you have a responsibility to that person to make them feel wanted and to talk to them on a regular basis. It probably sucks to hear, but in my opinion you should leave him. He clearly values himself over you and doesn't care how his actions affect you. Now, maybe things will be able to be changed, maybe not, but from the looks of it things will continue to get worse at this point, so the best course of action would be to get out before you get far too invested.
I went on a rant again and then after I felt bad, I apologised.
I messaged him this morning and got no reply.
I messaged in the afternoon and got no reply so I went to work.
He messaged around 6 saying hi, i messaged back asking what is going on.
He messaged back 'work' and I messaged back 'i meant about last night'.
I have not received a reply still. I finished my shift at work and called him, he didnt answer so I left a voice message.
I do not know what the fuck else I can do now. I dont want to throw in the towel because I love his man but the last few months has been so shit compared to when we were together in the beginning. I understand that the honeymoon faze wears off but its like he doesnt care anymore and he wont tell me why it is now this way. He says its because hes working but im not asking him to call me for hours during work. Im asking for a text conversation once hes home from work. I dont think I'm asking too much from him and now I just feel like a crazy cunt because I am getting nothing back.
Im meant to be going down to where he lives for his birthday. He said he wouldnt pick me up from the airport because hell be tired from work. Fair enough.
But he then said he wouldnt drop me off to the airport on sunday because 'ill still be tired and ill want to sit down'. What the fuck? Its a 45 minute drive from his house to the airport and he cant be bothered to do that so he can see his girlfriend. Its on a sunday, 2 rest days after this day at work which is an office job.
I dont want to take the train the bus by myself at night in a city I dont know and I dont think hes unreasonable for me to ask him to drop me off. Maybe im wrong though.
He really isnt cheating on me, hes barely interested in sex.
Im making this thread on the off chance that someone would have any advice on what else I can do to save this relationship.
>>17298871
I know im beyond stupid, I just dont want to let this go. I love him. I want to be with him but I dont know what else I can possibly do from this point on. >>17298873
Im already invested, ive paid well over 3k on hotel rooms and flights to be with him which i truly think is worth it.
Everything has changed in the last 3 months and I dont know why.
He came up for my birthday for 7 days. My dog died the day after my birthday which was horrible because he was my childhood dog and it happened quite suddenly.
Anyway he came up for 7 days and we only had sex once, despite me trying to seduce him and asking for it. I had hurt my foot at the time and couldnt weught bare on it so I couldnt be on top and thats why he said we didnt have sex other then the day after my birthday.
I think if he were cheating on me it would be less painful because then at least its because his attention is going to another person. But all he does is play games, watch movies and go to work. Hes just either gotten too comfortable or lost interest but I dont know which one because he wont fucking talk to me
>>17298864
A long distance relationship isn't a real relationship so you should both move on.
>>17298879
Bro you're going about this the wrong way, unless he opens up and wants to work with you his perspective of things is worth jack shit.
You cannot control his actions and how he foes the things he does so all you cak do is try to facillitate a conversation with him.
He doesn't want that do you should do what is the first thing you normally do ask yourself what xour problem is and how you can fix it.
If he isn't ready to put in the same effort as you in the relationship of you two then it's not his relationship.
I'd have bailed already but honestly I don't know what else to tell you he obviously isn't putting in any effort into the relationship and doesn't even take the time to explain to you how he wants it to keep on going because obviously it can't keep on going like this.
You're wasting your time is what I say, but honestly you sound so invested I don't think you'll break up so good luck making other people do shit because that def works.
Is this shit still going on lol
>>17298893
Its day 2 of no 'i love you' from him. Looks like hes not going to reply tonight.
Am sitting in my room crying my makeup off.
>>17298901
What the fuck can we do about it.
This is your problem and you can stop this anytime you want to, there are plently of fish in the sea, you cannot do more than talk to him and he is obviously not doing that.
You need to make decisions, set an ultimatum, break up or deal with it.
You're not happy now and there is no change besides accepting his behaviour and dealing with it you can do to fix all this.
I'm not going to convince you to break up with him it's your choice as it is your life.
Make your decision and deal with it.
Am I at least justified in this? Am I reacting correctly? I feel like I'm insane.
>>17298915
More than insane, you are stupid op. This LDR clearly isn't working. Move the fuck on.
Both people in an LDR have to put in the same commitment. Sure he may be tired, but that doesn't excuse a lack of communication.
As someone who went through a successful LDR turned face to face relationship, this seems as though he isn't committed enough and the relationship is one bad day away fron dissolving.
Either you need to remind him how important commitment is, or this is well and truly over. Not much else can be done.
>>17298875
>I dont wanna pick you up from the airport :(
>baw i dont wanna bother to see you off either
Like holy shit you're not in a relationship, just ditch this fucker. It doesn't matter if you love him, he literally doesn't give a single fuck.
>>17298986
We had made a plan of him coming up and living here, he got his license and was looking for a car. He flew up for an interview and stayed up here for a month. We were looking at houses and even went to view one. Once he left back to his city everything changed, he hasnt looked for cars to buy and we havent discussed him moving up here in months.
Its just such a big change that I dont know why its happened.
>>17298992
Maybe he has doubts. Anyone can have second thoughts.
Have you asked him?
>>17298864
This shit sucks but it just sound like he isn't invested anymore. You're trying and he's not making it work. At some point you have to care of yourself. Like I totally get it. You feel like you've dumped all this time and effort into this relationship. But your head starts justifying those actions (I've been reviewing sociology for the MCAT and holy shit it actually applies here.) but that money and time is worthless. It's gone, you can't get it back, but you can prevent yourself from wasting more of it.
Like I get it. I have a tendency to through myself into relationships and then when shit starts to go south it's like you keep trying to convince yourself that you've spent all this time and money and effort and you love him. But for some reason it sounds like he doesn't love you back. You need to break up with him, and then like eat your feelings.
>>17299007
Yes I've asked and he has repeatedly said 'if I didnt want to be with you I wouldnt be'
>>17299016
I cant leave, I love him too much
>>17298915
Hey OP I don't think you're stupid or insane. The relationship you're in seems like it's over and I think you're wasting your time trying to make it work. I'd have ended it if I were you.
> but I'm already invested
I hope this isn't your first relationship. I've been in 3 so far and in each one I put everything I've got into it. You're always gonna end up investing a lot into a relationship. I mean unless you're a dick.
>>17299034
Not my first relationship, my ex and I moved in together and he left me with the signed lease 2 weeks later.
>>17299037
Jesus that's awful.
My other advice would be to confront him, but since he just ignores your messages and calls I'd confront him in person. If it ends up with you guys breaking up then at least you'll have closure, but if some how things get better then that's cool too.
>>17299053
He is a 2 hour plane ride away
>>17299056
I'm aware it was far.
>>17299061
I cant jump on a plane to this house, I cant even remember his address, I've only been to his house twice, the other times we were in a hotel.
>>17299066
Well then you're back to what all the other anons have said.
> break up with him
OP you need to face the fact and idea that this is an emotionally abusive relationship. He's not putting any effort in whatsoever. He refuses to picked you up or drop you off at the airport when anybody would jump at the opportunity to do that for their loved one. Nobody is that tired to do that, especially when working a desk job. I know it sucks, but you need to break up with him. You wouldn't be the first person to break up with someone they loved due to abusive and hurtful circumstances, so you need to stop hiding behind the "I love him" excuse to not break it off. You've voiced your concerns to him and he either brushes it aside or ignores it/you completely. If you don't do it, you'll constantly be in a state of emotional despair with no one to blame but yourself.
>>17298864
Well, seems he doesn't care about you.
Don't waste your time with him anymore.
Break up with him and be happy! There's a lot of good people out there that would be a great bf to you.
Life is too short to waste with crappy people.
Good luck ;-)
>>17298864
Long distance relationships aren't real. Again, long distance relationships aren't real.
>>17298864
Why the fuck would you want to be with this person? He clearly gives zero Vicks about you and isn't capable of communication or problem solving
