How to stop avoiding socialising, /adv/?
I try to not talk with people i don't feel comfortable with. Even if they're nice to me or in general.
I am afraid of people.
Help
Why are you afraid? What comes into your head? What kinds of people don't you feel comfortable with? Have you noticed any trends?
I am afraid they're exploit my weaknesses if they find some.
Or tell it to the people that can.
Especially feel vary of people who enjoy lying. They can shield themselves with lies and become invulnerable at will. They risk nothing speaking with me, while i do.
Is there anyone you trust that you can "practice" on? Maybe focus on one person, just getting comfortable with talking?
>>17298348
Have got those recently, but with most people it's still hard. Their motives are unclear.
Op still, think i simply feel weak and vulnerable in this cruel world. Every time i get aggressive the reason is fear.
I want to look intimidating because it'll warn surrounding people not to mess with me, but i'm female.
It ends up laughable or bitchy instead.
>>17298304
>I am afraid they're exploit my weaknesses if they find some.
>Or tell it to the people that can.
frankly, don't worry about this too much.
Just today I had a long conversation with a couple girls, M and R.
M is totally unguarded and spills all kinds of things that most people would consider intimate secrets; she also tends to blurt out whatever she's feeling at the moment (especially when nervous) and says whatever goes through her head in response to other peoples' words and actions.
This is a godsend for me since I'm schizoid (think kind of like autism).
She's the only person at this uni i can interact with normally, because she actually verbally communicates everything instead of transmitting it all only through body language, unconscious cues, etc (which I can't read): this means a ton of feedback so I can actually figure out what's going on in the interaction.
With other people, I'm like pic related, completely confused.
Plus she's the only one that actually fucking tells me when i'm doing anything wrong socially (eg "I always say hi to you first, you never say hi first!" or "whenever i say some kind of comment (like a compliment) about you, you always just smile and nod or say "yeah i guess" or something, i wish you would reply to it seriously").
Furthermore, having her in the conversation means I can talk freely with R.
R is sweet and shy and probably has a crush on me, so normally my mind says "keep your fucking mouth shut, or you're going to end up saying something brutal and this girl's going to act like it doesn't affect her, but then go home and cry herself to sleep tonight."
But with M around, I know she'll catch it and let me correct the mistake in time.
Long story short, don't worry that much about being vulnerable: one woman's weakness is another woman's strength.
>>17298215
not OP. But I'm afraid of different things depending on the people I talk to:
Men: afraid of sounding awkward, already knowing they are normie and won't be my friends/ drink alcohol at normie party and smoke weed
Women: same as above, afraid of falling in love with one again, fucking stressed about every fucking move or sound I produce in presence of one.
>>17299129
My parents usually tell me all the things i do wrong, it drives me crazy sometimes.
Anon, are you implying i should be more sociable? I hang out with a normie friend now, who always knows how to be competent when i ask idk.
When i am not stressing about closing up, I tell whatever i think, try not to offend people though (it doesn't mostly work).
Both of your friends sound really cute, anon. Hope you'll get together with R girl.
>>17299141
>won't be my friends/ drink alcohol at normie party and smoke weed
so you are afraid they won't smoke weed with you or the other way?
If the other way i guess i am same with reversed genders.
>>17298641
You're female, the world is handed to you on a silver platter
its ironic because females are so stupid usually they can't see it
