You know, I just can't figure this shit out. The whole social interaction thing. It's bugging me to no end, and no advice I got ended up particularly useful.
First of all, some background. I'm twenty six. Because of a variety of circumstances, including severe health issues in my youth, I never socialized much as a kid - or a teen, although at that point it was equally a matter of the issues, already present lack of social skills, and being a stupid teen and deluding myself into thinking I don't actually want to socialize, because dumb reasoning.
Current situation: No fucking social life. At all. No friends. No social hobbies. No reason to even leave my apartment beyond studies and shopping. The problem is, for the past two years it bothers me. I've been trying to fix this. But I just can't seem to.
I can't handle people. I can't seem to relate in the least, having the empathy of a fucking rock. I can't seem to, I don't know, care as much as I should. Every non-essential interaction I have with them involves either myself getting nervous (particularly in groups), them being off-put by my behaviour (thankfully incredibly rare due to self-moderation - and we're not talking being unbearably autistic as much as the 'no empathy' part, as it's hard for me to fake concern) or some other ineptitude-related reason. It's happened over and over, for the past two years' worth of attempts. It gets better, sure, but at this pace it will take me until 30+ to actually function. Not particularly appealing.
All the advice I got amounts to keeping on with this sink or swim method. But I'm tired of sinking. So very, very tired. Making up for such a lack in social ability at an age when people expect you to not be inept about just seems impossible.
>>17297626
Do you have a job?
>>17297640
No. I don't particularly need one, as the benefits I get on account of the lingering health issues are just enough to live on - not particularly well, mind, but I don't have much in the way of wants.
The more important reason, however, is that I live in the same city I study in - and there are three different higher education institutions there, which makes for a lot of people who need part-time jobs. They get swiped extremely fast, and those which remain... well, they're almost always terrible, or require prior experience in a given area.
My only option would be tutoring beyond the city itself - also swiped up fast, but always in demand. The problem, of course, is that one-on-one teaching means some degree of social interaction. Also, I hate kids, fuck that.
Read the book "How to win friends and influence people". I found it to be very helpful in all aspects of social interaction.
I don't think it will change your life in one night but it will give you a better understanding as to what goes into comunicating.
>>17297664
In case this isn't just a joke - while I haven't read that particular book, I've checked out enough self-help on the subject to have the theory down pat - it's the practice that's lacking. I don't have much in the way of confidence, or at least not after all the failures I've suffered - and almost every time it emphasizes, well, empathy. I'm really, really bad at that. It's hard to honestly give people appreciation if I don't find most of their views/actions actually worth it. It's hard to seem interested in them if I find almost every person actually quite boring, outside of an area of interest that matches mine. I'm not very good at faking it either, and while it gets easier, it just makes me feel like a cunt.
>>17297660
Getting a job - any job - will expose you to people. That shitty cashier job you think you're above? That'll teach you to interact with people on a regular basis. Get off your high horse
>>17297626
>>17297664
I recomend this book. First, you need a social circle. Job, hobby club, gym.
Then one thing; alcohol. It will get you started.
Any drug might help. You propably will get the reputation of - haha drunk without a reason guy but you can pull it off in a pretty manly way.
You lack years of experience others had so its natural you are nervous. But weirdos do get some sympathy from others - partly for being weird. You just need to start.
>>17297696
I just plop my goods on the table and look on my phone until the wageslave has finished my transaction
>interacting with plebs
>>17297696
>Get off your high horse
I would if I were on it. I've nothing against a cashier job, not in THAT sense anyway, and you'd do well not to just make assumptions based on nothing. But consider. With regular social interaction making me nervous, how do you think I'll handle anything actually important? In my experience, not very well. Dealing with official things, even paperwork, makes me nervous, and that doesn't involve having a boss judge me afterwards.
Besides, half the reason I can even handle shopping is because you don't actually need to interact with cashiers. Most people don't, in my observation. Maybe it's different where you live.
I said I'm tired of sink or swim. If your solution is more of it, then I'm sorry, I'll pass.
>>17297698
The problem, really, lies in the fact that most social hobbies don't interest me all that much - and sure, I can force myself, but then it slams into the issue of interacting with groups making me REALLY fucking nervous.
>>17297696
Not OP, but I'm in a similar situation.
I agree that a job provides that, but shouldn't you have a job for the work itself? You're not there to learn, you're there to use what you've already learned. I don't think they're going to babysit a socially inept autist with inferior social skills (like myself) and hold their hand until they can function proficiently in whatever kind of work environment it is. It wouldn't make sense, they'd just hire someone who actually possesses the skills right off the bat.
>Get off your high horse
It's quite the opposite really. Why would I put myself out there, even if they did hire me, if it meant negatively affecting a good establishment due to my lack of skills? They might as well fire me.
Shouldn't I wait until I actually have the skills, and need the job itself before seeking one? Correct me if I'm missing something (it's the autism).
