Why is it next to impossible to call people out without causing a fight?
Recently, I started hanging out with a friend, let's call him A., I hadn't seen in four years. We were both away at college. And it's been really great and fun to catch up with him.
But we were at a party recently and another friend that I've known for two years, let's called him B., joked about us, saying "Nice to see you're dating <celebrity that Friend A. apparently looks like>." I took offense to it since I've been together with my boyfriend for three years, and A. has been married for almost two. So I called B. out on it right away. Which ended up starting an argument that led to others joining in for either side. As a result, B. asked me to never speak to him again and cut all contact.
I didn't expect I would lose a friend for doing this. But I didn't know how else to handle it. Someone offended me, so I made myself heard and shut them up for it. You're supposed to call people out in these cases. Yet every time I do, it just causes a rift between everyone involved; often straining relationships. And when I asked mutual friends of B. and mine, they tell me he just needs to cut out toxic people in his life these days. Because apparently I'm the toxic one in this situation. And lastly, a number of friends involved that night expressed how disappointed they were in me. What the fuck... ._.
wat
>>17290891
You can call people out, but don't be an asshole (like you probably were) about it. Basically learn to human.
You usually pull people to the side and address these offences quietly. Not turn it into scene where everyone can watch or listen.
>>17290891
Yeah maybe you couldn't take a sarcastic joke? like you totally took it seriously
I really don't like the idea of calling people out. It seems to be more of an excuse to randomly argue with other and somehow assume there wouldn't be any consequences. Or trying to find ways to bitch people out in a manner and context you think justifies it.
Just calmly, and peacefully, bring it to their attention in an honest, and sincere, way. Hopefully just between the two of you in a way where no one walks away feeling like a jackass. Otherwise, even if it was sparred by something important enough to you to get worked up over, you become the bad guy in these situations.
>>17290891
Wow.
A woman is 'offended', and takes a comical situation to such an extreme that she loses friends, and others are disappointed in her.
I, for one, am absolutely shocked. Just floored.
Instead of politely chuckling, or explaining how you, personally viewed his joking comment as disrespectful, you went pants-on-head retarded, with a raging, full-on Tumblr.
Once again, I am simply shocked, outraged even. To be honest, I do feel these things, knowing you and I breathe the same air.
>>17290891
Weird, he doesn't want to speak with someone who gets offended over a joke instead of laughing it off like any normal human would do? The problem is with you in this situation not him.
>>17290980
This wad greatly. Top kek.
>>17290891
>guys im a total autisimo but im a girl, doesn't this mean I can get away with it?
bump for hilarity
Okay, so since I'm not from /r9k/...
How exactly did you respond? It may have come off to him as more aggressive or angry than you intended, blowing the situation out of proportion. Additionally, people tend to get really defensive when called out in public.
>>17290891
>I took offense to it
>I didn't expect I would lose a friend for doing this
>Someone offended me
>You're supposed to call people out in these cases
>Because apparently I'm the toxic one in this situation
>What the fuck...
>>17290891
>Why is it next to impossible to call people out without causing a fight?
Because calling someone out is not a nice thing to do. That doesn't mean it's never justified -sometimes it's outright necessary- but you always run this risk.
That's why it's important to pick your battles. If you're going to call someone out, the risk needs to be worthwhile.
>>17290891
>Why is it next to impossible to call people out without causing a fight?
Because the truth hurts.
I know that OP is already long gone, but I want to know what exactly she told B that she came across as a total cunt.
>>17290891
Because you weren't "calling someone out" as he did absolutely NOTHING WRONG and you assumed full victim role fetal position style and made a huge argument over literally a joke
You are the retard here and I'm glad he fucking called you out on being a bitch
>>17290891
>You're supposed to call people out in these cases.
why in the world would you think that? the person obviously didn't intend to offend you.
when you're offended what matters is if the person INTENDED to offend you.
You new age young fucks who think you have some "right not to be offended" can go jump in a fire. fuck you and everything you represent.
It's funny how people like you weed yourselfs out of social circles but feel so self righteous about the shithead shit you do
