How can I meet women without social media or online dating? Seems like it's a requirement to live these days but I've never been into it so I stay away.

>>17284802
Through school, work, hobbies, sports, or through your social circle.

Okay, so when I was 19 I fucked my 13 year old cousin. I was pretty much her first. Sounds pretty sweet, right? But, she told the whole family afterwards and almost had me thrown in jail over it. It was a pretty fucked up situation.

Now I'm 24 and she's 17. She's recently been messages me almost everyday asking me to come visit, hang out, and smoke weed.

Should I?

>>17284802
friends. i don't use any social media and i do just fine. it's not a requirement.

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>>17284828
are you crazy?

>>17284813
>social circle
I know like 10-15 women around my age and they're all taken. It's hard to meet women when you're an adult. You can only have so many friends.

>>17284802
Fuck social media.
It's mostly for women, nu-males and parents/grandparents.

>>17284837
These women don't have other friends?

>>17284835
No just really turned on by this girl.

>>17284837
Then ask them if they have single friends. Meet more people, till you meet someone you like.

>It's hard to meet women when you're an adult.
Which is exactly why people use online dating.

>>17284838
Over 1.3 billion people use Facebook. It's hard to fight against those odds sometimes.

>>17284847
I have a Facebook, doesn't mean I use it.

>>17284844
I've tried online dating. Set up a proper legit profile. Photos and all. No responses. People are picky as fuck and I don't ask for a bombshell 10/10. Personality is more important.
>>17284840
Fair point anon.

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>>17284842
she almost got you into jail. stay away
pic related

>>17284849
I'm not tinfoil hat conspiracist, but I do have a lot of issues with their privacy policies and the idea of posting your entire life online. Sorry, it's just how I feel.

I like leading a life without everyone being able to know what I'm up to every minute of the day (not that I need to post everything I'm doing).

Anyway, I'm rambling now.

>>17284860
It's like we're the same person.

To females obviously:
Did you ever have ovarian cysts that made sex very painful for you? If yes how long did it take for them to disappear? Apaprently my girlfriend had one for a few months now and i'm getting a bit worried.

>>17284871
does she get treatment?

>>17284871
Take her to the doctor anon.

>>17284872
She just had the result from the ultrasound. The doctor said they usually disappear after 1-3 months but it has been 4 months now. Besides waiting there only seems to be birthcontrol which she already uses and surgery which we want to avoid if possible.

>>17284870
Well I mean it is weird. I had a woman not give me her phone number but I had her on Facebook (when I used it).

I can find out years worth of information about her through Facebook but a phone number tells me nothing, yet asking for her number is more personal? What the fuck kind of logic is that?

>>17284878
oh. if she gets professional help, don't worry too much. what is it you're worried about?

>>17284855
A lot of people I know have pretty successful stories with online dating. Probably you did something wrong with your profile and you don't really realize it.

I agree that personality is more important and a lot of people are really picky, but online dating for me helped a lot with that aspect in particular - I am not biased by the looks and I get to know people who aren't really my type. I formed meaningful connections and when I got to know them in person I found myself being attracted to them physically, too, because I really liked their personality.

>>17284884
Well the fact that it has been longer than normal. Also maybe looking for advice on how to handle sex since my dick seems to have turned into a sawblade.

>>17284891
what do the doctors say about the fact it has been 4 months now?
can she not have sex at all? do you do other stuff? bj's, hj's?

>>17284890
>>17284890
It is amazing how much a personality can make someone a lot more attractive overall. I've crushed on some lets say fairly average people but their personality made me even forget about it. Not at all ugly, just pretty damn average.

>>17284894
She just got an email saying its been 1-3 months and if she keeps having issues get back to them. Seems like they ignored the fact that it has been there for that time already. We do oral, hjs and the like but both enjoy piv the most, When we did it it was me inserting it very very slowly and I think that still hurt a lot. After that it seems to get a bit better but I can't imagine it being painfree. Maybe there are positions that are better than others but we can't really try it yet since we are in a LDR.

>>17284890
Don't forget that grills get bombarded with messages on dating sites.
So mentioning something from her profile helps get a response.

But there's so much to online dating. It's kinda hard.

>>17284828
>I was pretty much her first.
She was fucking 13, I would hope so.

>Sounds pretty sweet, right?
No, it sounds really disgusting.

>But, she told the whole family afterwards and almost had me thrown in jail over it.
Good.

>>17284891
Go back to the doctor? Perhaps it could have left a sensitive spot or some sort of scar that's still sensitive? have you still been having sex with her in those three months? If you have, it could take her even longer to get over the pain.

>>17284908
Why is she messaging me again?

>>17284908
Kys sex hating American

>>17284914
Because she knows your a sleeze and easy. She's young, and possibly eager for an easy root. But you should be asking yourself, do you really want to go down that road again? If you reply to her you are being her on call whore.

>>17284899
It happened to me too. My best friend makes fun of me all the time for dating "undateable people".
Honestly I value the mental and emotional connection much more than the physical attraction, now that I am a bit older.

>>17284904
I'm a girl, even pretty average when it comes to looks, and you're right.
I do appreciate when people write well. If they mention something we have in common. If they compliment me for something particular. I feel like they actually put some effort and they don't just send messages to every other girl.
I agree tho, it must be pretty hard for a guy.

>>17284914

Who knows, getting diddled is pretty well known for fucking people up.

>>17284921
>undateable
And what in her opinion classifies as dateable? Does she only go for 10/10 Jake Gyllenhaals?

>>17284890
>A lot of people I know have pretty successful stories with online dating. Probably you did something wrong with your profile and you don't really realize it.

Probably this

Currently 15 months in to a relationship. Met online. Happiest either of us have ever been in one. Talking about moving in together and have started looking.

Her friend also got married to someone she met online a few months ago.

A few of my other friends have had/are in serious relationships that start started online.

It can definitely work.

>>17284925
I never said it couldn't work. I'm just wary is all. Congratulations to you, your girlfriend and your friends though.

>>17284920
As a man, being some teens on call fuck toy doesn't sound bad.
Plus it's legal now.

>>17284922
Peaches - Diddle My Skittle

>>17284913
We had sex from april to may while it still hurt apparently. So there have been two months without sex. I told her to get back to her doctor and get more information from them because a barebone email can't really be all they give her. When the doctor examined her vagina they didn't find anything though. Only the ultrasound revealed something.

>>17284924
>And what in her opinion classifies as dateable? Does she only go for 10/10 Jake Gyllenhaals?
All her boyfriend were pretty attractive - Maybe not 10/10, but tall-ish, tanned, muscular, shit like that.
Mine were...generally out of shape, all pale as hell (but I find it attractive, so I guess it doesn't count), not that tall.
I've been asked out by more attractive guys, but honestly they were boring or emotionally draining and it felt wrong after 2/3 dates.

>>17284954
this will sound mean, but your friend seems really vain and materialistic, like she cares what others think of her partners.

>>17284958
> she cares what others think of her partners
Nah, not really - she just values physical attraction more than I do, and she is the kind of girl that dates because she doesn't want to stay alone.

>>17284935
I'm just thinking that maybe she is having sex expecting pain, which is what's giving her pain, if that makes sense?
She's had sex with you thinking "it hurts, it hurts, it hurts" and then been to a doctor that is saying "it should hurt" and then when you try sex again, her brain is jumping to hurt, hurt, hurt.

>>17285001
That's kind of sad. She'll never settle if the looks is all she's getting. She needs to compromise somewhere and find someone she also enjoys spending time with.

>>17285002
Yeah i've been thinking that too and I will discuss it with her next time we do it. Though we only went to the doctor because it didn't get better on it's own so it wasn't like she expected to hear it should hurt. I'll ease her into having sex again though with lots of foreplay and focusing on other things that aren't penetration for a while.

>>17285001
>she doesn't want to stay alone
I've never understood women like this. Met plenty of them. Always kind of seemed like a red flag to me. Like as soon as they've broken up to someone within days to a week they've found another boyfriend.

>I live alone
>girlfriend complains I'm lazy when it comes to doing things for myself (cooking, laundry, etc)
>put forth effort and do something, actually doing it the higher effort way because I wanted to be sure it was done right
>she complains about the way I did it taking more effort
>I was hoping she'd be proud or approving that I was starting to take the effort to take care of myself better

Is it alright/acceptable for me to feel sad in this scenario? It feels like she's constantly nagging me about my laziness but when I do something she berates me because I did it the higher effort way

>>17285051
Yeah fuck that. There's nothing I hate more than doing a job and still copping flak for how you do it.

>>17285021
She does, it's not like she dates just for the look. Of course the choices for very rich abercrombie models with a PhD in neurobiology and a kind heart are really limited. She's not getting that, but neither am I. I prefer compromising on the looks, she prefers compromising on other stuff.

>>17285028
Me neither.
It's probably just a matter of personality - I am introverted and I LIKE being alone, she constantly needs to be around others, and she needs to feel "approved" by guys.

>>17285065
I'd assume whenever you settle down you'll be happier long term than she will if she keeps it up.

Should I feel bad that I pretty much stole my last few gfs from their then current bf?
Like they're dating some guy and then I swoop in and just steal them.
I tell myself, and them that I don't care about their ex/bf's, but I kinda do feel bad.
I know what it's like to be alone and to have somebody take your SO from you.
But goddamn it, I need companionship too.

>>17285167

Yeah that's kind of fucked up man. You're fucking someone else over who didn't do anything to you.

Also, you don't NEED companionship, you want it.

>>17285167
You didn't "steal" anything. She's not livestock that one rancher rustles from another. She made her choice.

>>17284766
Is it weird that I live together with my sister? Girls always seem freaked out whenever they hear that, we just share an apartment because we get along great and it drastically reduces the cost of living. It isn't really different from having a roommate in my eyes.

>>17285486

I'm a guy, but I don't see why anyone would think that's weird.

>>17285486
Nope. Not at all.

Is it weird to ask an ex to be a part of your wedding party? My fiance wants his ex-gf to be one of my bridesmaids, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the thought of standing at the altar near someone my future husband had sex with. Am I being unreasonable?

Almost ex-virgin here, met a girl online and today we tried to have casual sex. A lot of firsts for me, but i wasn't able to get hard because nervousness. She was very nice, but a bit distant, say she wouldn't mind trying other day and playfully mentioned to get Viagra for my stubborn penis.
Once we we're on the car I told her I wanted to see her again, try again, said yes but she'll write me once she has time. Tried to please her the best I could, but dunno if I goofed, can't read girls at all.

If she doesn't write back in a week or so, should I?

A suggestions on raising my soldier? I'm pretty sure it was nervousness, but i'm willing to try the blue pill.

>>17285634
Was there any foreplay? Or did you try jumping straight to the main event?

>>17285629
Did he stay good friends with his ex after the breakup, or is he wanting an acquaintance he used to have sex with to be a bridesmaid? Also, I'm not too familiar with wedding customs, but the bride picks the bridesmaids, right?

>>17285641
She wanted lights off, and was reluctant to get oral. But there was lots of kissing and fingering, tried my best there

>>17285651
They remained friends.

Both sides of the wedding party have people from both sides. Example: my brother is one of his groomsmen.

>>17285664
It's not totally weird if they remained friends, but I would tell him if you feel uncomfortable.

Male here, with 60kg of body mass on 175 cm, which is really, really low. Trying to get dat kg # up, so comments from all genders are welcome. It's a bit hard because I'm used to coffee and cigarettes for breakfast, but I'm slowly starting to incorporate some sort of food before that ritual. Also trying to have 3 meals every day instead of the usual 2 I have, plus a snack here and there. Note that I'm not stuffing my face with everything I see, I try to eat food that's less processed while still watching that it has decent calories. I also started exercising from home, nothing big, rows, curls and push ups for starters. How does that sound for a plan to gain weight? Any ingredients/meals that are good for a slow, steady and healthy as possible weight gain?
Note I'm not trying to get /fit/, I'm trying not to look like I escaped a fucking concentration camp.

>>17285634
Be comfortable, if the soldier raises well when you masturbate then just be cool about it, which I know it's hard considering you're trying to lose your V card. Maybe have a beer or two to ease your mind, but don't overdo it cause of whiskey dick.

>>17285673
I'm 182cm for 57kg
You are fine

>>17285641
>>17285680
Thanks, only thing now is when and if I should write back. An apology or just reiterating I would like to see her again.
I don't want to blow it. Unless I already did of course.

My bf often arrives much later than initially agreed on.
Mostly his reasons are pretty annoying.
I feel like this behaviour is disrespectful, since he always drags the time he arrives out later and later as time goes by. It's a lot of wasted time on my end since i could have done a lot of other stuff that day if i knew he arrives at 9p instead of 6pm. Sometimes i have to hurry to be home on time, just so he can arrive 2h later...
I told him this is annoying me. Hasn't gotten any better. Help?

>>17285710
Does he at least text you, letting you know when he's running late? Or is he just flakey and unreliable?

>>17285523
>>17285531
Huh, maybe I'm just hitting on weird girls.

>>17285747
He does text. But it's still annoying. For example: he's currently late since 1,5h because "a friend forgot something at his place and now he has to wait for him to come and get it". As if you can't just put it in the fecking mailbox

Okay, there's this chick who is driving me insane.

When I met her for the first time, she seemed insufferable to me because of the way she acted. She just seemed downright arrogant. I didn't know back then that she was being sarcastic because she looked completely deadpan, so I acted like an asshole to her. A massive asshole, I insulted everything from her appearance to the way she walked (she has some kind of joints-related disability, so she looks a little funny when she walks. I know it was horrible of me.)

She repaid me in kind and didn't seem too bothered which annoyed me even more. But as the months went by, I noticed that what I thought was arrogance were mostly jokes and that they were hilarious.

So I stopped attacking her and we started talking instead. And I found out she was fantastic, that she cared about topics I hold dear (politics, literature, history) and that she has so much to say.

The thing is, I have no idea how to approach her after how I treated her in the beginning. It also doesn't help that I can't read her at all. She isn't actively hostile to me, I think she likes me now based on how she reacts to me, but she keeps sending me mixed signals.

We laugh together and I have a feeling she likes being in my company, but she singles me out often in various occasions (like refusing to give me her phone number despite giving it to literally everyone else who asked). Then she invites me out, me only, we're alone, we chat and it's awesome, but then she insists on paying for herself and goes home and nothing ever happens between us.

I even TOLD her I liked her, but she just kind of brushed it off with "No, no you don't, stop being silly" and acted like nothing happened... Except that I've noticed that now she touches me casually, shit like caressing my shoulder (she didn't do this before and she certainly doesn't do it with any of her friends.)

I have no idea what to think. Sorry, I know it's long, but she's just so confusing.

To everybody

How do you talk and have a conversation with strangers? The other day at work the most gorgeous girl came in and I made her a bagel with stuff and rung her out. I said I liked her hair (it was short, my weakeness) and she seemed to appreciate it and then she just left. It's not only girls but people in general I have trouble talking to. Yea I am an introvert but once I get to know you I become a complete weirdo. Is it really just something you have to keep doing to get better at it?

>>17285758
Say something to him, I would take it as a sign of disrespect honestly. Like they don't care enough to make it on time, as if you're not that big of a deal. A couple of mins is understandable but hours is shitty. If he frosty change then you might want to reevaluate your relationship

>>17285776
Yes, you just have to keep trying. I used to have problems with this as well until I realized that most people are somewhat awkward around strangers as well and so they're nervous from my presence, too. That helped me overcome the obstacle.

>>17285710
>>17285758
He clearly doesn't have much respect for you if it's a regularly recurring behavior. Dump him.

>>17285776
She just wanted to grab a bagel on her way to wherever she was headed. You're just the guy making her bagel. What was she supposed to do? Hang out there?

>>17285844
I'm saying that I probably wasn't engaging enough or could have been a better conversationalist

>gf wants to keep her ex as a buddy.
>i don't like him, obviously
>he keeps barging in on us whenever
>i obviously get pissed
>she gets angry with me for being pissed
>says she's tired of having to deal with us both
>she positively does not comprehend that he's trying to break us off

Should I just keep my cool and let him do whatever he pleases until she starts getting annoyed by him or what? How am I supposed to deal with this?

>>17285858
In that scenario though, she probably wasn't looking for conversation no matter how engaging you were. It'd be like someone at the window of a Taco Bell drive-thru trying to strike up a conversation. She just wanted her bagel.

>>17284878
Cysts are mostly harmless, except from the space they occupy. Surgery is fairly simple, but she'll lose an ovary in the process.

Source: My gf had a cyst removed shortly after our firstborn (it was discovered during the pregnancy routine checkups). We had 2 more kids after that with ease, despite her being down one ovary.

Surgical removal isn't that scary if you live somewhere with a sane health care standard.

>>17285486
Unusual maybe, but not weird.

>>17285776
>>17285858
I agree with >>17285844
Plus she could be taken, be a lesbian, just not interested in meeting people, may not like chatting, be busy thinking about other stuff, anything.

Guys, when you use the word "crush" do you use it lightly or does it carry heavy implications?

>>17285894
Anything?

>>17285912
>>17285896
Yea she didn't really try to talk and and just left, I'm hoping it was "I'm going to do that thing " and not "I gotta get away from this creep". But still, my coworkers are always have conversations with the people they're ringing out, like people stay and chat and some of the regulars talk about their lives. We're supposed to make it feel very welcoming and I don't think I do that very well, this was just the most recent scenario where I was kind of bummed about it. I guess as far as that girl goes i can only hopes she comes back in and try again

>>17285898
Thanks for the reply. I read that sometimes you can keep the ovary so i guess it depends on the doctor and circumstances. For now we are just going to keep an eye on it and see if it disappears on its own. How did your gf suffer from it? Did it hurt during normal activities too or just sex?

>>17285894
If there are clear signs that he's trying to break you up (telling her negative shit about you, excluding you from events, coming on to her) then you can tell her that you feel he's being intrusive and hostile and list examples. If she brushes you off, firmly point to her behavior: you don't feel taken seriously, like your feelings on this are being downplayed as invalid, and by not taking a stance towards him she is effectively also forcing you to deal with him.

If he's a sneaky motherfucker who is too smooth to leave obvious red flags then it's harder and it is on her to realize that an ex can only be in your life if he whole heartedly wants to be a friend, not if he wants to remain an ex lover.

But
>says she's tired of having to deal with us both
I would try replying with a firm question whether she thinks that many guys are interested in the package deal cute girl + ex with no sense of boundaries.

>>17285983
Her cyst was very large, which is probably why the ovary had to go. Seeing as your doctor wanted to wait, it's probably not that big.

There wasn't much suffering involved. As she was first-time pregnant at the time she didn't notice anything that she thought was wrong/unusual. Sex was not problematic.

>>17286059
Ah it makes sense if they get too big. Hers is pretty small from what I gathered after looking around online so we just have to wait more i guess. Maybe it's already shrinking too.

>>17285894
I'm going to be straight with you, anon. I can't think of a single reason why she would still want to be close buddies with this guy, especially if he's pissing you off, unless she still wanted attention from him. I've seen this over and over with my friends (and I'm female myself) and it's never that she has boundary issues or some other excuse: she flat out wants him around. I think you need to have an honest talk with her about what she likes about him and what it is that makes him so important to her. Don't let her drive the conversation towards "It shouldn't matter, I can have guy friends" because that isn't the issue at hand. The issue is this individual person and the role they are playing in interfering with your relationship. Don't give her an ultimatum or anything, but ask if you can set some ground rules about when or how often this guy is allowed to barge into your place when you two are having time together. It's not healthy for a relationship to always be interrupted by another person when you were thinking or planning you'd be alone with your SO.

>>17285710

Some people are flakes and are always running late.

Plan everything around an expectation of when he'll actually show up, vs when he says he'll actually show up.

Like if he normally shows up 1 hour late, tell him 5 PM instead of 6PM.

If he actually shows up in time, just tell him, going by his track record, you assumed he'd be late.

You're very probably not going to change how he is, you're either going to learn to deal with it, or it's going to be a deal breaker for you. >>17285776
>Is it really just something you have to keep doing to get better at it?

Yup. And it's not /just/ keep doing it. You need to mix it up, occasionally try more difficult and uncomfortable things, and keep pushing your zones of comfort.

Think of training your social skills exactly like training your body.

If all you do is work on one specific muscle group using one exact same routine, eventually you're going to get diminishing returns until you get absolutely no progress at all.

>>17285919
>define crush
This is entirely dependent on the individual and everyone has COMPLETELY different interpretations.

In general, a crush is supposed to be a fleeting thing that can be intense, but is ultimately insubstantive. By implication it is also a one sided affair.

>>17286169

"crush". Well, let's just say there is someone who is totally off-limits for me. We could never be a thing. Whenever we're together there is a vibe so thick you could probably see it with the right lens. The chemistry is super intense. In spite of the circumstances, this someone has tried to kiss and touch me a few times. This last time I called to say that it was wrong and couldn't go any further. They said they "liked me" "had a crush on" me and didn't know how to act around me. Would you consider that a light crush or full on infatuation?

I want to break up with my long distance boyfriend. I've given him no warning signs that I'm annoyed, and he is planning on coming to visit me for 2 weeks, in less than 12 hours. He's very excited.
How do I do this without coming off as a heartless bitch?
It hasn't been an easy decision, I stayed up all night crying and throwing up and I'm really upset, but I can't see our relationship working out in the future and he's planning to move to my city, so I want to tell him before he makes a major change like that for me. Things have been moving very fast, I met him online and have spent less than 3 weeks of physical time with him, so the speed is scaring me even though I made no mention of this because I thought it was sweet. He's so nice to me so I feel bad because he has done nothing to deserve this and I gave him no warning of my feelings. I'm his first girlfriend and he thinks we are soul mates, I did a few weeks ago too.
And now my parents are annoyed at him. I just can't bring myself to date someone my parents don't like.

>>17286228
Have you spent enough physical time with him to make that decision? Is it something you've been thinking for a while or a few days? Certainly tell him that moving is way to fast for you and ABSOLUTELY tell him how you're feeling. He's not a mind reader and knows exactly what you're thinking all the time, it really isn't fair to him. I'd say talk to him and spend more time in person before breaking up. It may be long distance but it's a relationship and they require work and dedication

>>17286228
>he is planning on coming to visit me for 2 weeks, in less than 12 hours. He's very excited.
Tell him now, before he wastes a trip.

>How do I do this without coming off as a heartless bitch?
You can't. But you can reduce the lasting impact by telling him now, before he wastes a trip.

>>17285773
Any thoughts?

I'll try keep this simple so I don't bore anyone. I'm male 35 married great marriage, have a friend who is female 26 and married. Got to be friends with her through work so our spouses aren't very acquainted. We have known each other two years, text and talk fairly regular for past two years, but we live about 1.5 hours apart so rarely see each other now with her changing jobs.
Here is my basic confusion. We talk almost every morning on our way to work as we both commute and call to bullshit and kill the time. But I'm confused because lately is hard to get her to text back ever, and she never wants to go for lunch or anything if I suggest it. I know that just seems like she lost interest, but she is the one who initiates the morning visits, and if I stopped answering her she will for sure get ahold of me in a few days, we have been through this! I sometimes think she falls to society belief that men and women can't be friends and she thinks our respective spouses may be an issue. I have tried to get everyone together because society is ok with couples hanging out, but can't get that pulled together either.Any idea as to why our friendship is so odd, please tell me. Or maybe it isn't that odd, and I just don't get female friends etiquette.
Thanks in advance.

>>17284849
Same. I pretty much just have it so someone can contact me if they need to and don't have my number.

>>17286195
>Would you consider that a light crush or full on infatuation?

Both are fleeting, over emotional things in my eyes.

They're the kind of things people often mistake for more, and usually only say out loud if they're being dramatic and caught up in things--usually a distorted fantasy or "rose tinted glasses"

The true test is always if it turns in to more

What is your actual question though? Because knowing semantics of the situation won't actually solve anything or grant you any insight.

>>17286228
>. Things have been moving very fast, I met him online and have spent less than 3 weeks of physical time with him, so the speed is scaring me even though I made no mention of this because I thought it was sweet.

That was your first mistake. For future reference, the best policy is always to keep as open a line of communication as possible, especially when it's something pertaining to the relationship. That doesn't mean you have to tell them EVERYTHING that crosses your mind (especially at the stat, a little discretion is useful because it's pretty easy to get confused and swept up), but any major doubts NEED to be voiced early, before they spiral in to something bigger.

Talk to him now. Have an open an honest conversation. Decide what to do after that.

If you still think you need to break up, explain to him what you explained to us, that things have been moving to fast, and that your parents are important to you and you can't date anyone they don't approve of.

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>>17284766

How can a social retard such a myself find girls to talk to? I only three or four friends that I'd consider to be good friends of mine, but I don't hang with friends of friends or groups. I'm shit at talking to people at college for some reason, as I find it to be an unsettling environment. At work all the girls are high-schoolers, too old, or out of league. I've given consideration to Tinder.

In regards to attractiveness, I'm a solid 4/10. So not too bad, but still a little ugly. Hair's cut, washed properly, shaved, deodorant, and generally good grooming. I also lift a fair amount (245LB bench and 385LB squat), so I have some muscularity to me. My main fault is personality and social skills. Can't express emotion too well, can't express interest/initiate contact, don't smile, anxious, dark/alternative sense of humor, general autist.

I haven't had sex since I was 13-years-old. I am pretty much dying for some emotional and physical vulnerability.

>>17286388
My question is are his feelings for me as intense as mine are for him? When he says he has a crush on me and can't control himself does that me he thinks about me all the time the way I do him? Butterflies and racing thoughts? Or is it a trifle to his, one of many crushes? FYI this guy is very reserved, quiet and shy.

>>17286410
Sorry so many typos.

>>17285673

I'm no expert by any means, so far I went up from 63kg to 68kg, at 184cm.

What helps for me is to eat some sandwiches before sleeping. Sandwiches are really standard food here in Dutchland, so perhaps you may want to do something different.

Do a few sets of pushups every day, I do at least three. Every day. Maintain good form and continue for as long as you can each set. I went from about 20 to 32 in the mean time. This gives you confirmation that you're actually getting somewhere.

You think this guys attractive? https://youtu.be/pWFvv9cBUDc

Okay.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of domestic prostitution?
What should I be aware of and how do I find a prostitute that doesn't want to bring in new kinds of stds?

>>17286339
>I sometimes think she falls to society belief that men and women can't be friends and she thinks our respective spouses may be an issue.

I very highly doubt if she has concerns, they're on such an abstract, dispassionate, and sophistic scale as that.

More likely is her worries are much more pragmatic and personal and she feels conflicted that she may be emotionally cheating on her husband with you. That maybe she's playing with fire and tempting fate, which spikes guilt, which causes her to balk.

The answer is: Get together with your spouses.

If the reason is as I stated, she may be resistant because of a whole cavalcade of reasons (i.e. unconscious worry that she might be jealous of your wife, unconscious worried that meeting your wife will diminish your bond/kill a fantasy, conscious worry that her husband won't like you, conscious worry that your wife won't like her, etc) but you need to push through and make this happen.

You need to make each other's spouses something real and tangible in each other's mind, instead of some vague figure.

My best friend and girlfriend had similar reservations about meeting each other. I know my girlfriend was very wary because my best friend and I have shared much longer history, and some of it was even physical (though never romantic).

My best friend had reservations for different reasons (Probably for the same ones I listed above). She never voiced any, but I could tell it bothered her because she was always slightly resistant to meeting my girlfriend and would always find an excuse or cancel at the last second.

I eventually forced it to happen and now they're pretty close friends, having even hung out outside of my company.

Maybe you result won't be as fortuitous, but you need to make a meet happen--for everyone's sake.

>>17286410
>are his feelings for me as intense as mine are for him?

Again, what good does knowing tell you? They may very well be, but if you can't be together, you can't be together.

I don't know why, but for some reason I don't mind greasy haired girls.

Clean is obviously good but greasy hair I can always tolerate.

Dry hair though? That's like dragging your fingernails down a chalkboard after washing your hands.

>>17286478
I posted that question, and thanks for the input. I really agree with you on what you said, and boy I'm trying my best to hook that up. I have managed to get my wife to hang out with her alone once, and it went ok, the definitely won't be getting bff bracelets anytime soon but that's ok. But, I can't get her to let me meet our have a beer with her husband. I have known her two years and met her husband twice, one for like two minutes and once at their wedding, was actually kinda awkward now that I type that out and read the background. I guess it is what it is, I can't force anything, and I do enjoy that calls we have, so I'll just let it run its course wherever it goes.

>>17285051

Assuming she's not a shitty person, she's probably just oblivious to what she's doing and doesn't realise it's hurting you. Talk to her about this, let her know how it makes you feel, and that you're only trying to take her advice on board and make her happy.

guys, what's the right way to end a relationship?

I have dodged going to his place lately because I wouldn't really be up to it. I'd just get really distant and meeting him there just to end things wouldn't be nice.
I see him at college when he comes to study next to me, and it never feels like it's the right moment to do it. It's not like I can say "hey, let's break up" and go back to study right by his side like it didn't just happen. Besides, there's usually a few of our friends around.

I know there will never be the "right" moment. Even though I've been giving him so clues that I'm distancing myself, he isn't quite getting them and thinks I'm just tired because of studying, so he never brings that up. I just don't know how to start that conversation... it never feels right.

>>17286859
"We need to talk" Cliche, but effective.

"I don't think our relationship is working out. *List reasons why here* I think we should stop seeing each other."

>>17285919
probably somewhere in between

Was with a tipsy girl at the end of the party, she was very touchy feely. But said stuff like : "Can I marry you later ?" "You are a perfect man" ... Should I disregard drunk speak and listen to her action and not her words? That shit made me think I was perceived as a beta provider.

I am sorry for a sex related question.
Can I get advice for fingering and eating out?

Girls, why is losing your own virginity a big deal in general and personally?

>>17287070
It's not, not to me. Reading some of the stuff here makes me think guys care a whole lot more about virginity too

>>17287070
It's not

>>17287062
Fingering. Palm up. Middle and index fingers in. "Come here" motion. Someone else can post the lesbian guide to eating out.

Okay, there's this girl in my office who, while chatting with me, would lean up against my cubicle wall (which is permanent and load bearing) and kind of rub the front of her body up against it, but not in a really exaggerated manner.

Does anyone know if this is a sign she's interested in me, and if so, how many days of chatting should it be before I make a move? I know it has to be quick, because there's another guy her age who is also pretty clearly interested in her and I like to think I'm more dignified than him, but he's taller than me.

I mean, I don't particularly care about her that much, but a single woman my age is like a freaking unicorn as soon as you get out of college and I won't settle for being a stepdad.

>>17287088

>>17287111

Wow, this society is fucked up beyond all repair. No wonder people are incapable of making actual connections with each other. Sex bonds you to someone. It's something you do when you love someone. It is a significant act. It is not masturbation.

I'm not religious, but I think this is why they say masturbation is a sin and that you should only have sex for the purpose of procreation. They know that it's healthy for society when people form those bonds with one person exclusively and have them go deeper and deeper over time to form a stable foundation of love for a family.

When people just fuck for the pleasure of the orgasm like it's no big thing, it messes you up. You're supposed to feel the love and support coming from someone after sex and know that they will be there for you, not know that they will be on tinder banging the next person in a couple days.

Losing your virginity should be a big deal. Porn and the media has corrupted our society. Just like most evils in our society, it all comes back to money. They know sex sells. They use it all the time. They get people addicted to porn, have ads that are practically porn, every second they're triggering our sex drive so that they can sell us stuff, and we've become addicts. Complete slaves, and people use each other like sex toys. Objectification is real and it's not something that happens when you only fuck someone you love.

>>17287181
You're really dense if you think any of us can tell from that information. There are a million little things that tell you someone is into you. You can't break it down into any one thing unless it's super obvious. If you're too autistic to tell, you might as well just go for it because you're never going to get the girl if you never try to get the girl so it really doesn't matter if she's into you or not, you need to try regardless.

Me and my girlfriend have been together coming on 8 months now and we've never had sex. I've never done it before, she has. We went on holiday, got really drunk and talked about it and she said she's completely up for it and she wants me to be ready and to tell her I am. But weirdly in the same conversation she described herself as a prude.

Anyway, so every time I tried to get close to her at night back at the hotel she would just tell me she's tired and she doesn't like being touched when she's trying to sleep.

One night I called her out about what we talked about and asked if I'd done anything wrong, and she just told me she hasn't wanted to and was tired. Admittedly it was very late when I decided to say shit but I had to get it off my chest.

The thing is I've struggled with being nervous about this stuff and not feeling ready, but now I'm so fucking ready. There was always a small part of me I hated, that would think of her as "someone that could help me lose my virginity" but now I know her so well and how we work as a unit, it's different and I want to do this for both of us.

I just wonder if it's too late, maybe she doesn't even look at me sexually or something. The fact that she hasn't ever initiated except for when she didn't know I was a virgin kind of makes me think I blew it by telling her. But I know there was no way I could lie about it in the first place so I definitely did right by myself.

>>17287185
Sex is not a godly thing, anon.
It's just something people like to do, there is nothing to make a big deal of.

>>17287185
>Sex bonds you to someone
Yes, sex. Not losing your virginity.

Placing no arbitrary pressure on one specific sexual encounter doesn't remotely suggest that one places no significance on sex as a general concept. Sex is not virginity.
Every sexual encounter one ever has can be a very big deal, while simultaneously the concept of virginity doesn't matter to them in the slightest.

I've never had sex with anyone because doing something like that is a big deal to me, and I haven't yet met anyone I want to share it with. That doesn't mean I value my virginity in the slightest, and I don't expect my attitude that sex is a big deal to change if I eventually start having it, because first time or not it's always going to be an act of extreme physical closeness which generally requires a lot of trust for me.

>>17287234
>>17287185

Also, putting undue significance on virginity is actually what pressures a lot of kids to LOSE it just for the sake of it, because they're terrified of being 'too old' to be a virgin. That's a horrific attitude.

It also (probably not so much these days) pressures young people to abstain and prevents them from forming those important bonds even when they genuinely love someone, and can lead to sexual hangups that follow them into adulthood and hamper their relationships.

Not to mention when these two schools of thought collide and results in one desperate virgin whispering sweet nothings into another's ear for however long it takes to convince them it's love, just so they can pump and dump to lose that all important V card, completely fucking up two kids' attitudes towards love and sex in the process.

Girls and guys

I feel sad right now, a close female friends of mine hasn't been doing good at all the past few days. I try to open myself up to her because I care about her deeply. I told her I want to help her. But she just hasn't been talking to me much. But in the past, she's came to me for serious things and I've helped her. It just makes me sad that she's going through this and won't let me help this time. I don't understand why

>>17284842
>19 year old
>willingly fucking a girl six years younger than him

Sure bro, just do it. What can go wrong?

>>17287234
You're missing the point. It's significant because you're basically saying that you love that person when you have sex with them. Sex comes with a lot of emotions, you can't just have sex and not feel anything unless you're a legit psychopath. There are significant brain changes that are inititated by sex. Oxytocin in a neuromodulator that actually destroys old bonds in the brain to make way for new ones. It paves the way for you to literally change your brain structure to suit the other person you're bonding to. If you want to have sex just to have sex, then it ultimately does more harm than good. People end up feeling incredibly lonely when they have sex and then don't bond.

The bond is what is important. That's what sex is all about. Intimacy on every level. You let down all your guards. Sexual submission is an act of trust and love. If you try to block yourself off from the emotions and separate the physical side of things from the emotional side of things, it causes problems.

>>17287299
Sometimes people get to the point where they can't be thinking about your feelings. You may think that you're comforting them, but in reality they probably just want to be alone to wait out the rough patches and it's incredibly selfish of you to expect them to be thinking of you enough to keep in contact with you for your sake.

>>17287315

YOU'RE missing the point.
I'm not for a second arguing that sex and the bonds it creates are a big deal.
I won't repeat myself.

>>17287321
>aren't a big deal

Fix'd, whoops

>>17284802
I like the old school style. Face to Face.
I can guarantee, it still working

>>17287319

Selfish? I care about her!! I'm just saying I just wish there was a way I could help her like before.. I feel helpless. And it pains me seeing her like this

>>17287315
You are presuming a lot of things as truth and you also having a very romanticized opinion; you also seem to have trust issues.
Sex is not deep.

>>17287321
So what the fuck are you arguing then? How can you claim it's no big deal to choose the person you're going to bond with--the person that you're going to open yourself up to and be vulnerable with?

>>17287341

Maybe actually read my post.

>>17287070
I'm a girl and a virgin.
Society places a lot of thoughts - not necessarily pressure - upon the ideas of virginity and purity.
Most often people are told that men are only after them to get sex, so having sex with a man will ultimately end in heartbreak unless you are sure he is ~the one~
People will also judge you if you have sex with the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong way, etc.
You also haven't done it before and the fact that if you mess up you can get an STD, pregnant, or some other bad thing is really intimidating.
We are also told it hurts and you will bleed.
So it can be scary to think about the outcome.

Personally just not interested in sex, as well as think it is disgusting.

>>17287332
Yeah and that's nothing compared to what she's going through. You want to help her because it makes you feel better. That is quite literally what you're saying. It becomes an obligation to reassure people like you when someone becomes depressed. Sometimes people just need space and time and they need friends who can understand that and forgive them and act like nothing happened when they get better. If they want your help, they'll ask as long as they know you will offer it, which, in your case she probably does know you're willing if you've helped her before.

Don't mistake doing something "for her" that's actually for yourself. Just let her know you're there for her if she needs you and that's it.

>>17287345
I did. You failed to explain how sex could be both significant and not matter. You failed to explain how you can control the flood of emotions and hormones and neurotransmitters so that it affects you only when you want it to.

You're a moron if you think these things are rational and we can control them. Sex often inspires feelings for the other person unless they're completely used to shutting themselves off and basically just see sex as masturbation which is unhealthy because it makes it much harder to have actually meaningful sex with someone and form lasting bonds with them. If you get those feelings and just get tossed aside like you're nothing, even if they're not significant, and even if you never tried for more it takes it's toll, little by little.

This is just what I've observed from talking to thousands and thousands of people in my lifetime.

It's not a huge issue, but it is an issue and it's compounded every time you have casual sex.

>>17287387
>You failed to explain how sex could be both significant and not matter.
I never said sex doesn't matter. I said virginity doesn't matter.

None of what you're saying has anything to do with what I've said, and I'm not going to waste my time re-explaining this to someone who holds onto his blind assumptions so tightly and waterboards me with them instead of simply asking for a clarification. You are wasting your own time.

>>17287335
Sex is deep with me, baby, if you know what I mean.

I mean I will go deep in your vagina with my big penis.

>>17287401
Sorry anon, my uterus is lower than normal; no big cocks for me.

How bad is ghosting a friend you have an insane crush on and they don't flirt with or touch you?
We can't be a couple, because we will go to far colleges and i'll break if they sleep with someone else there.

>>17287481
The oposite of love is indifference.
Ghosting hurts like hell.

>>17287481

If they are a friend, and you Ghost them... That's really mean.

If they really are your friend, you'll show them enough respect to explain how you feel.

>>17287481
Just explain it to them and say that burbling be too much/painful for you. They might not get it or they'll be upset but that is the way it has to be. When I cut contact with someone they told me it made them feel worthless and they didn't quite understand but I'm glad I did it, it's saved me so much pain and unnecessary stress

>>17287481
This happened to me for the same reason (separate colleges)

I honestly think having someone I cared so much about pretend that I didn't exist fucked me up and made it so much harder to open up to people.

Just tell him how you feel. Please.

Girls

Would you ever cuddle/nap/spoon with a guy you weren't willing to mess around with?

Girls,

Would like it if a (attractive) guy said to you "would you be the mother of my children?"?

>>17287648
Hm, liberal ones will be offended?
Conservative will treat it as a joke or compliment imo.

>>17287620
Many social girls are touchy with friends, some girls are not.

>>17287667

>many social girls are touchy with friends

So, they wouldn't care then if they feel a rock hard boner under the sheets?

Girls, would it be weird if I asked you to talk dirty to me in Spanish?

I don't speak the language, I just find the idea hot

>>17287680

Dude.. Spanish is a shit-tier language. It just sounds bad.

>>17287682
No language sounds bad when you are horny

>>17287682
My girl is Puerto Rican, just got off of the island a couple years ago. I find her accent sexy as fuck especially when she starts talking dirty. Hearing it in Spanish is just a new fantasy of mine

>>17287648

Depends entirely on the circumstances/relationship and seriousness.

>>17287704

miiiiiii papiii

That just sounds fucking annoying

>>17287620
no because i have anxiety of leading guys on due to past experiences and I generally keep a good distance from most people.

>>17287648
only if we were already kinda dating or had that kind of humorous flirting relationship.

>>17287680
Kinda weird, considering I don't speak Spanish. I guess I could say "taco taco borrito boritto henifa hlopez" in a breathy voice.

>>17287704
I don't see why that'd be weird.
>Tish, that's French!
People love languages, and there's nothing weird about being attracted to a prominent trait of your partner. She'd probably just appreciate that you find yet another thing about her sexy and that she can share some of where she comes from with you.
So long as it's not a fetishism thing where you specifically picked a girl who spoke Spanish because that's what you're into, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Bonus points if you show genuine interest in her language and culture outside of the bedroom too.

>>17287722
Thanks for the response, by the way I posted both of those lol

Is he hitting on me?

>known him for a few years, sorta friends
>i hung out with him and his gf Anna sometimes
>havent seen him in a couple months
>bumped into him last week, we got coffee together
>i asked him how Anna was and he said fine but didn't elaborate and we talked about other stuff
>he gave me a hug and said we should hang sometime
>past 2 days he hit me up 12am but i was asleep
>this is booty call hour?? but he's also slightly insomniac
>i texted him today saying whats up
>now we're joking over text about how he doesn't ever make root beer floats

???

>>17287736

kek, yeah I know, I was just being silly.

>>17287738
Maybe, but I'd say the chances would be higher if you knew for sure he isn't dating Anna anymore.

>>17287757
Yeah, it's just it's a bit early/presumptous right now for me to ask him if he's still dating Anna. Because he's smart and he'll know exactly why I'm asking. I haven't seen him in months so...

I will just wait and see what he's up to the next time I see him.

Girls

Would you ever call someone "beautiful" if you didn't think they were attractive?

A female friend sometimes addresses me as beautiful. Like "hey! How are you doing today, beautiful! :)" I don't think I'm attractive, definitely not beautiful lmao. so i don't know why she says this?

>>17287770
beautiful doesnt have to' necessarily mean physical beauty. Objectivel, one of my friend's is average looking but she's got a great beautiful personality, so I call her beautiful. And you're probably more attractive than you think!

>>17287738
sounds like he wants a casual

u already know about anna, and late night calls generally mean something - maybe he is testing the waters?

or maybe you are his new chat friend-zone buddy - just say when you are ready "what up with this here what is going on, im confused" hopefully he will be straight up

Is it ok to call a girl you have a thing with beautiful if you aren't in love?
I've been calling her cute and I don't think that really encapsulates it all

>>17287780

so, why does she address me as beautiful?

and no, I'm really not attractive.. I'm a 6/10 at my best

>>17287795
Because she finds your personality beautful

Girls who have dad issues, what did your father do/didn't do in your relationship with you, that caused you to have problems with other guys?

Girls

I'm a 20 years old male but i look like 16-17. I have never had a girlfriend because i have looked younger than my class-mates since i was 10. Now i'm am engineering student and i don't have any girls around me but there are a lot of nice girls in my college ofc. what do you think about younger looking men? what should i do to prevent the bad affects of looking like a high school kid?

>>17287798

oh.. That's kind of lame :/

>>17287815
Well she could also find you attractively beautiful too. It's not lame. Maybe she has a thing for your facial features , who knows. When you become friends with someone you always find them more attractive than when you first saw them

Anyone else feel perpetually behind their peers? I just turned 24, and only now I'm stable enough to move out of my parents place. Additionally I won't be graduating college until I'm 26 because I started college so late.

I try leaving my comfort zone and talk to women, but I just kind of get talked down to when I describe my living situation/plans even when they're glorified neets a lot of the time.

>>17287815
Kek
I could feel the rise and fall of your self-steem and hope.

>>17287821

I guess..

>>17287825

Thanks.. :(

>>17287830
yo i don't know what the fuck you want to hear, man lol. You put yourself down saying 'i'm on 6/10 i can't be beautiful' dude don't be a little bitch and ask her out already.

>>17287835

>ask her out already
sigh.. I wish I could.

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I need answers from both men and women, not much info to give, possibly not even a big deal but I just want to get this off my chest. So I've been swimming lately at this private pool and the lifeguard there is decent looking (not sure if we'd get along in a relationship due to me not even knowing anything about her) but almost everytime she is on duty her and I exchange these looks at one another. Nothing big at all, like I said it's just glances. And NO there are not any signals incase you were wondering. It's just we stare at one another with no emotion haha. Like I said, probably no big deal, I'm just looking into it too much. But could it mean anything AT ALL?!?

>>17287847
you'll regret it for the rest of your life if u don't. this is ur life take it by the balls

Is it worth to pursue a girl romantically if you know she's only in your state for the summer? Will her departure fuck me up if I get too attached?

>>17287860

But I really can't. This girl lives 6,000km away..

GIRLS,

Are poems cringey?
I want to write a poem for this girls birthday, and I know she'll be surprised because I don't normally do nice things for her. We're in kind of an unofficial thing right now.

Also any poem writing tips, never done it

>>17287849
Go find out! Start a conversation - especially if she is sitting all alone not talking to anyone all day. If you do it right it could last a while...

... or she might say her boyfriend will be here soon , so you walk away

Either way you got your answer

>>17287879
dont write poetry if you're not a poet

it will be bad and extremely cringey

>>17287886
Fair enough. Anything else I could do that's similar? Just to show I care and that I like her a lot I guess

How do you start talking to a quiet/shy girl who you don't know? Not looking to date her since she's the sister of someone in my friend group. I just want her to say something stupid so she stops being on my mind all the time.

Do the "wait for him to text first" makes any sense? What do you think?

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We do not forget,we do not forgive,expect us,we are anonymous!!!10101010100000101010100010000010000000001011111000101010101011101010100000001000101111101010100

>>17287900
>>17287900
Comment the weather. Is cliché but works. You can try start a conversatio from there

>>17287914
That'll work. Thanks anon.

>>17285773
Bruh this one is so easy!
"Hey i'm sorry I was so mean to you, could I take you out to dinner to make it up to you?" Or some variation. Boom. Done.

>>17287910
UATA_WT_T ?

How the hell do i break into a group of women and actually have a conversation with someone. They travel in fucking packs. Any attempt at insinuating myself/getting out there starts with polite conversation and ends with one of them getting too fucked up and them all having to go, with no number or any meaningful connection

How do I stop chickening out on asking someone out

test

>>17287950
I wish it was so simple, I tried apologizing etc. and she always laughs in my face. Not in the "haha, I'll never forgive you" way, more like "haha, I'll never take you seriously."

>>17287905
Only if you're hot

>>17284766
What's a good way to figure out if a girl likes me or views me as a charity case?

Am I just being a clingly assholes for wanting my GF to actually talk to me instead of writing single word replies or "hehehe"?

LIke, I get it. She's working too and she needs to focus to work. Having to switch to skype and talk is distracting. But when I ask her "Hey, are you busy now? Wanna just talk when you aren't?" she get's very angry at me for implying she doesn't care about what I'm trying to talk to her about and that shes genuinely interested in talking to me. We are LDR right now but will be back with each other mid july. We go on and off LDR but since we are both very introverted people that spend most of our time working on computers anyways it's been working out.

We do have more in-depth conversations and video chats but this is driving me crazy. If I don't say anything to her while shes working she will get sad and wonder why I don't want to talk to her anymore. But when I do try to talk to her it's just those single word responses or "hehe".

Met this gal online some time ago. Fun to talk to, bonded a LOT over music; even taught her some guitar. She made vague hints of visiting in the summer and I was down with that. She all of a sudden stopped answering my texts, calls, and Skype messages. About 9 days ago she told me things weren't going too well with her but she did miss me. Now she has stopped answering everything cold turkey. On Skype though I see that her contact list amount goes up and down sometimes. I should just not worry about it, right? Focus on my own stuff? I mean it's out of my hands at this point but goddamn I really liked her. Feel like I've been played.

>>17288149
>What's a good way to figure out if a girl likes me or views me as a charity case?
This!
I get both, and unless they straight-up tell me it takes me months to figure out whether it's pity or attraction (at which point it doesnt matter anyway since they've moved on to some other guy who can actually figure this shit out).

>>17287905
>Do the "wait for him to text first" makes any sense? What do you think?
Makes zero sense to me. If you have something to say, or just want to talk to him, text him.
It's not some kind of dark magic ritual.
It's just talking, except with texts.

>>17287481
>How bad is ghosting a friend
Very fucking bad, frankly it's not ok to do that shit to anyone.
Be respectful to your fellow human beings.

>>17287299
You call her a close friend, but i doubt she feels the same about you.
Sorry. That's just how it is sometimes.
Some of us have higher empathy than others and feel the need to help, but if she won't let you in, there's nothing you can do.
Learn to accept that. You can't save people like a superhero, nobody can.

>>17288233

She's being unfair. She wants you to entertain her but isn't pulling her weight to return the favour.

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How to pull picrelated upleft corner off?

>>17287481
> ghosting
Sorry, but I'm an Oldfag who's not up to speed with this hip and trendy jargon you youngsters use these days... WTF is ghosting?

>>17288372
Are you so much of an oldfag that you don't know how to use Google?

>>17284828
This almost dserves it's own thread, and I'm going to answer despite not being the opposite gender: NO. Are you fucking insane?

The answer is a resounding no, just from the perspective of covering your own ass.

>>17288233
Do you work from home? Can you get on a skype video call and then ignore each other?

I sometimes do it with my boyfriend when we have other things to do - he calls me and then minds his own business, but if he wants to see me or say something to me I'm there, and viceversa.

>>17288383
It's bait.

>>17287879
>>17287895

It's cringey if you don't know what you're doing.

>Anything else I could do that's similar?
A short story, maybe a sort of fantasy version of something you did together?
A guy I dated for a while wrote me a story about the first time we met set in a dystopian world where we both were some badass killer characters.

>>17288411
yeah we could do this but our internets suck ass. Hers is impossibly slow and mine disconnects randomly all the god damn time. We do like to sync up movies or music to watch/listen while we work that we discuss. We also have movie dates where we skype and watch a movie together. Or just regular skype dates to talk.

Those aren't all the time though and more like every 3 days or so.

>>17288332
Shes always had a hard time talking about her life or work. Like... major things happen and she forgets to tell me about them. She says they aren't important and that's why she forgets but I keep trying to tell her LDR only work when you tell each other about your days.

>>17288428
You're doing pretty good to be in a LDR.
When me and my boyfriend are apart we do that skype thing - He minds his own business, I work, and sometimes we say something or just watch each other. It helps a lot and it's less time/energy consuming than actually spending time together.

>>17285776
so you like girls with short hair, you can use that...

next time you see a girl with short hair, pull out the old school "opinion opener", combined with a neg.

"hey your hairstyle is really interesting "... (wait for response)... "do you mind if i take a pic? i think my mom should try it out"

girls can often see through this kind of basic game, but it will get you out of your comfort zone and in the habit of talking to random girls

don't do it at work. try it in a busy place - repeatedly. once you're feeling a bit more confident, get magic bullets or some entry level book and step it up gradually

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>>17287972
throw yourself at the ugliest one and the rest will help you fuck her. fuck her a few times, then as soon as they see you're making her happy (on any level), a few of the hotter girls will try and fuck you just to fuck her over

jesus christ

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>>17284766
How do I get a girl that is completely out of my league, like pic related?

my ldr gf just admitted to me that yesterday she was feeling down and did self-harm, after supposedly months of not doing it

she also says that it's nothing related to me and doesn't blame me in any way, she wanted me to stay out of it but i was feeling something fishy so i asked her directly and admitted it

how do I handle this situation without making it worse? I feel that talking more about it will just make her more prompt to do it

>>17288428

Maybe try to focus on asking questions rather than carrying the conversation with a bit of a brick wall. It might coax better responses, and jog her memory of something interesting to share. I do sympathise with her on that front, I'm the same way, but specific questions really help. That's certainly something you can meet each other halfway on.
As far as her getting offended when you ask if she's too busy to talk, a pretty simple solution is to "happy wife, happy life" it and simply not ask that again. She's probably taking it as a passive aggressive jab that she's not pulling her weight in the conversation.

It sounds like you guys are doing pretty well overall and that this is a relatively minor hiccup probably not worth getting too frustrated over. To a certain degree, you might just have to accept that she's not very talkative in these situations but still enjoys your company.

>>17287884
Thanks for replying, I'll take that into consideration and I see the point you make.

How come all I attract are white girls? I thought they like dark skin men I have pale skin and brown hair.

>>17288636
Most white girls like white guys.
I actually do find pale skin to be a turn on.

>>17288527
no girl is out of anyone's league

>>17288638
I didn't think girls found pale skin attractive on a man.

>>17288690
Some do. I do.
It's pretty much one of the most attractive things, for me, on guys.

>>17288699
Oh I don't think most do though Haha you're an outlier.

girls, do you actually try and make up plans to make guys jealous or does that only belong in movies?

>>17288707
I did when I was a teenager.
Now I'm a bit too old and I'm much more upfront and dislike the drama.

Is it possible to build attraction from a girl who's known you for a year and never had any chemistry with you?

That feel when the girls you have been good friends with for a while, someone you also care deeply about slowly stops talking to you as much as before. She used to text me everysingle day, and we'd talk all day. But now, if I text her in the morning, she will read it or listen to it, and won't respond until late late at night right before she falls asleep. so it'll just be a short response, and that's it. I know she's busy, but I notice she's online quite a bit..

Anyone else have this happen before? It makes me feel bad..

So once upon a time a lot of bad stuff happened in my life, and I coped with the stress very poorly. Basically I took to stress eating and gained a shit ton of weight. At this point I've lost 60 pounds, and have another 60 or so to go.

Basically, is it realistic to date a chubby/fat girl and make the weight loss thing a shared goal? I've tried to do that with a few, but all of them didn't seem to really want to do anything about their weight even when it was something they would often vent to me about. When I end up deciding to leave it as just friends, I feel kind of shallow because I'm currently not really any better than her health wise even though it's something I'm trying to work on.

What really kick started this idea to begin with was a woman I was interested on suggested we do exactly that, but she gave up early on.

>>17288726
People drift away with time, it's sad. She may got new friends, or her work involves being online, both.
I cut off many people i used to talk to, because we stopped having anything in common and it felt superficial to continue.

>>17288717
Everything is possible, anon.

>>17288726
Nope every time I try to make female friends they try to sex me.

>>17288726
I know exactly how you feel senpai, it's really awful

I'm kind of experiencing it now actually, and it's not the first time

My heart goes out to you desu senpai

>>17288707
I don't and I don't know a single woman who actually does this.

>>17288744

it just makes me really sad. Because I care about her a lot. And we really used to be close, we would talk and talk. She would even write me cute notes on paper and send them to me... I'm going to be visiting her city in 60some days, and I really hope to spend some time with her.

I just keep getting this feeling that maybe she doesn't care about me anymore or something, like she lost interest. But I don't know if that's real, or just me overthinking everything. Like I said, she really used to do a lot for me.

>>17288748

Thanks.. this is me>>17288755

>>17288707
Plans? No way. If it's necessary to get someone's attention by some cheap ploy, it's not worth getting his attention to begin with.
However as the other anon mentioned, this is something girls do when they are younger, because they are watching the same movies and think this is a legitimate thing that normal people do.

If a girl sincerely does this to you and is older than ~seventeen, it doesn't matter that it's a sign of interest, you don't want someone like that in your life.

I will concede that if someone I'm interested is around, I do enjoy it when other guys strike up a conversation because I sort of hope (to be fair, it works that way for me) that he thinks about being in their shoes more than he would if I were talking to a girl. But then I just mean showing off that you're having fun and that others find you interesting to talk to as well. I'm not going to flirt or touch him or anything I wouldn't if the specific guy wasn't watching.

>>17288771
Stop dating Muslim women.

>gf is in religious family
>isn't supposed to have a bf so she lies when we see each other
>turns out she pretends to go see a girl friend every time, but always gives my actual neighborhood as her destination, instead of inventing a new location and excuse every time
>her older brother seems to think she comes here too often to just see a friend, and seems to smell the lie (that could be her being paranoid)

She isn't coming today, because she told him she was coming here, he reacted "weird" and now she's going somewhere else but didn't tell him that, because he'd find it suspicious if she changed her plans...which is what she did...

So basically
>he thinks she's here
>she isn't, to avoid him catching her here
>if he calls and asks where she is, she'll say she went out with her friend

This is getting overly complicated. Simple lie stuff seem to pass over her head and she admits herself that she gets confused if she makes up too much stuff.

Should I just break up before this turns bad?

>>17288774
Stop dating a Muslim girl. As juicy as her brown as is.

>>17288639
Oh come on you know exactly what I mean.

>>17288726
Same here. Wish I knew what to do

>>17288743
I guess it depends on what kind of chubby girl you're dating.

My bf and I started off like that. I was about thirty pounds up from what I used to be when bf and I started dating. My bf was about 40 pounds heavier than his average baseline too.

When we met I had already lost 50 pounds. I once was 5'2 and 200 pounds, we met, I was 150. He was around 200 when we met, when he was generally around 150 or so.

But here's the thing: both him and I knew each other for several years before dating and we both knew we were once thinner than this. So, we both wanted to get healthier. And we did together. My bf lost over 40 pounds, I got down to 127.

If you are dating a girl who had always been chubbier, asking her to lose weight with you may feel like a really personal blow.

I'd suggest meeting girls at a gym or something. Not some fit freak, but a girl who is chubbier and working hard.

>be me
>like this girl
>get her number
>she seemed excited
>text her
>she never texts back
>think "okay whatever"
>every time i see her afterwards she compliments me or just straight up ignores me, like she cant make up her mind
>getting tired of this

Im thinking I should just focus on work, or should i just straight up ask her whats up...

>>17288880
I wouldn't want to deal with that mess. When girls do this, I'm sure they're either being completely indecisive or they don't know how to say they're not interested

Focus on work or focus on another girl.

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Girls

a few weeks ago, my close female friend (yes.. I like her). was having a off day, so I sent her a voice message and her response was 15 pic relateds and "I really like your voice messages, [my name here]!! They make me smile! :) haha your voice is actually very relaxing too!! :))"

could there be anything underlying there by that response? But, she has also been having a terrible week now. I sent her another one, she listened to it. But never responded and it's been like 12 hours...

>>17288879
I love fit girls some woman at my gym is like 40 ish and really fit I want to hit it so bad but I'm like 20 so I don't think I can

>>17288638
>I actually do find pale skin to be a turn on.
>>17288638
This girl once said this to me. Luckily I look similar to Pete Stele. Today the same girl is my wife.

What if i love a girl but i'm too shy to say anything?

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>>17284766
Male anon here.

Do women care or think negatively when I share (or they discover) that I've had multiple relationships in the past that have failed?

My last long term gf thought it was amazing and kind of hot that I had "been around," but as things got serious she started to question it. My most recent relationships have had similar reactions, so I bring it up less and less or in small doses.

To elaborate, I've:
>slept with more than 15 women
>consistently used online dating since I was 21 (29 here)
>have had 5 serious LTRs that I would consider as such
>have had 2 pregnancy scares I am aware of, 1 of which was legitimate (we terminated)
>have been on a few dozen first and sometimes second dates
>I've had women spend the weekend for random sex
>I've traveled long distances and have had women travel long distances for sex
>I've ghosted on many, many women, even ones I've been seeing for over a month
>have done the "see somebody for a month or so" more than a few times over the past decade
>my go to exit strategy usually goes with "I'm not feeling this" and I get bored easily with relationships that don't excite me
>have already "done everything" sexually, with few things left to try save the really depraved things

I also do NOT regularly do one night stands, hookups, booty calls, or FWBs. I have a steady career and my own place, but my social life is a little boring and my hobbies are tough to commit to with my job. I'm NOT a Chad, and I'm actually overweight and maybe a 6 or 7/10 on a good day.

>>17288996
Then it holds the same weight as black propel saying we was kings and shit. You kings now ? You going to gal to be girl ? Answer to both is no so who cares.