Advice..
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Girlfriend sent me a video of herself playing with herself for our anniversary tonight before she went to bed. She said she made it minutes before sending it to me. I saved it to my photo library and the video came up as from June 14th at 3:11 AM... She usually goes to bed before then.. What's going on..
You know what's going on. And you know what bullshit excuse she'll give you.
>>17280523
What's that...
>>17280517
Hmm so it was from days ago, and it was at that...
Sorry to tell you man but she is fucking cheating, tell her straight up ASAP that you found out that she is cheating to see if she admits it, and if she doesn't want too you can bring up the video.
Do something now anon.
Sent her this when I figured out. She went to bed hours ago, but she'll see it in the morning... I feel like I should've confronted her with it in person rather than text... But I wasn't thinking clearly...
>>17280537
Post results
>>17280551
Hours before that she gets up for a summer class around 7-8ish
Bumping for more info
>OMG she's cheating guyz
Or, she likes to play with herself and record it, and is too embarrassed to admit that it's a long time fetish of hers, so she said it was a one time thing for your birthday. Has anyone on this board been to porn websites, because this is indeed a thing that people do.
>>17280517
Well you definitely caught her in a lie, there is no denying that
So I would think "who was that vid for when she made it last week?" It's a legitimate question, and again, she already lied about the timing of it
Cheating may be a bit of a stretch at this point, but lying is already here, and that isn't a good sign
>>17280517
maybe she made the video in advance because she knew she would have her period by today, maybe she made it for some other guy, maybe she wanted to send it to you back then but for some reason didn't
no one knows.
but you can post the video, maybe we can find some more details
>>17280517
You tipped your hand already with the text; you should of waited to confront her in person. Now she has hours and hours to make up another lie to tell you
>>17280571
Exactly... I fucked up with that, fuck me right... What can I do now..?
>>17280572
Nothing. She's going to say she made it for you but didn't feel like sending it.
>>17280572
You can't change that now
I say look her in the eyes when you talk to her, and see if you get a bad vibe or not.
It's hard, because you want to believe the girl you are with, but listen to her answer, and see if it makes sense or not. If it's shady, then you will know something is up.
>>17280583
But if it is shady, she'll just act like I'm overthinking things and being ridiculous. Which just leaves me in a position where I can't do anything... She's admitted to being a bit of a compulsive liar, which personally is really scary.. I love her though and love talking to her...
So much overthinking here. More likely is that she just made that video for herself, or possibly with the idea of sending it to you at some point. She didn't get around to it, and then realized it's your anniversary, so she sent it with a little lie to make it seem special to you.
A bit far-fetched to think cheating or another guy is involved. And depending on how she recorded it, the timestamp could very well be off the actual time.
>>17280592
>She's admitted to being a bit of a compulsive liar
Why stay with her then? That just tells you she'll lie a lot for no reason. Compulsive liars just lie for the sake of lying.
>>17280609
I feel like she doesn't lie to me as the others... And she needs me, I think, and I need her. I guess I'm blinding myself though...
>>17280604
This, OP. You already played the card though so you're gonna have to kinda talk about it with her eventually, but I'd recommend just kind of saying "Stupid phones, haha" and never bringing it up again.
If it really is making you that suspicious, wait for more obvious signs than that one before jumping to a conclusion. And ask your friends or even us before you make the move.
>>17280523
Fuck. Just tell her to be honest. Based on her reaction you'll know bro
>>17280537
Yeah that would have been better. But confront her nonetheless. If she is apprehensive just haul ass
>>17280592
Well it sounds like she has you wrapped up just nicely. An admitted liar ISN"T HIDING ANYTHING! By you accepting that, she has a free pass to lie and not feel bad about it, at least that is what I think
It is not a good sign if you are worrying about your girl lying to you, that would drive me crazy. I could never handle it
Good Luck
Dude, it takes a bit of guts to do something like that. She probably spent time amping herself up and trying to not feel silly or do anything weird, and made it a few days early, and told you when sending it that she just did it to make it seem spur of the moment like it's not something she embarrassingly agonised over. Pretending something that took immense effort took no effort at all is "looking cool 101".
What's the problem? Honestly, what could you possibly think is happening here?
>>17280705
Trust issues. OP and his gf do not have a healthy relationship.
I feel like I'm in fucking bizaro world.
In what reality could cheating possibly come into play here? Do you think she made that video for a random guy, then thought "hey, I know, I'll give it to my boyfriend who doesn't even know this recording exists, that's the perfect way to cover my tracks"?
How little do you think of this girl that she sticks her neck out like this to do something sexy for you, shows you such trust that she'll send you a video like this in the age of revenge-porn, and you randomly take it as a sign that she's cheating? Because why, because she made it a few days early to avoid performance anxiety and chickening out of sending it? Because she wanted to seem spontaneous and confident enough to have done it on a whim?
Would you accuse her of cheating if you found out she did a dry run of that birthday cake she made you? "What other man are you feeding, I want his name!"?
You're being completely ridiculous.
>>17280722
am agreed
>>17280722
>>17280730
Am double agreed
>>17280722
Why else would she lie about the date? At a time when she's not even up regularly? She made it for another dude.
>>17280537
Pay obsessive attention to her answer to that, and I'm sure it'll tell you a great deal.
Overthinking is not a thing. It's merely thinking about things that other people haven't thought about yet.
>>17280722
That's a perfectly viable excuse. If for whatever reason OP were to come across that medium now, the presentation of this video opens up the possibility for said content to have been created with the purpose of sending OP in mind.
There's also no reason to, "Chicken out". It's a text message. It's optional, it's not a thing that sends itself. If the product is undesired, then you erase it and do not send it. This is a finished and final product created long after she'd normally be asleep, and over a week ago. You're literally glossing over half the fucking facts in the name of, "Trust" and, "Faith". Fuck that.
You're welcome to your own philosophies and views, but insulting OP for thinking this way is retarded.
You cannot objectively prove that nothing is going on. We cannot objectively prove that something is going on. Thus, the wisest move would be to cross examine the evidence, and draw a conclusion from that IF we're doing things logically. Otherwise, faith and trust can be dictated based on past behavior. It's not something that I condone either, as nobody is a cheater until they are. Surely, you realize this.
>>17280734
>why else would she lie about the date
I'm not that anon but they literally wrote out reasons wny, as have others in this thread
>>17280561
Whore detected
>>17280742
Virgin detected
Don't make it so easy mate
>>17280741
Whatever, she didn't have to say "I just made it" could have simply said "I made this".
>>17280734
Why would she make it for another dude and then send it to her boyfriend? That's psychotic. If OP honestly thinks she's capable of being anywhere near that psychotic, he probably shouldn't be with her at all.
If OP had found the video himself and she explained it away with "oh, I made it for our anniversary, yeah, that's right," then I'd understand leaping to cheating. But just the fact that she send it to him and it just happens to be made a little ahead of time? Leaping to cheating is fucking demented.
So either way, SOMEONE in this scenario is completely off their rocker.
Much more likely she made it early because she was nervous and wanted enough time to feel comfortable about it, and then lied to seem chill about it. Because sending a sexy video to someone with a preface of "I made this over a week ago in preparation for our anniversary, I've spent over a week sitting on a sexy video I made for you, when we had dinner the other night I was secretly still mentally tossing over whether I'd have the balls to actually send it, I put days upon days of nauseous thought into this short video of me playing with myself. I may or may not have done dress rehearsals. Anyway I hope you enjoy it, happy anniversary, y-you too" is fucking spaghetti city.
>>17280750
So what?
>>17280763
So she's a liar.
>>17280816
Oh no, someone lied one time!
>>17280816
And OP has major trust issues.
Oh dear... OP. girls often make nudes in advance. You know, i do them when i feel like it. Iow when i feel like i look good today. Or when i have the time. I put a lot of effort into them. I think about what to wear. I make sure the surrounding is tidy and clean. I make sure i'm properly groomed all around. I want to feel good about my hair and make up and so on. Then it tskes effort to get good shots. There's the lightning that needs to be just right. You probably need a tripod and a remote too. I take a lot of shots and then keep the ones i like best to send to my bf at the appropriate time. I do love to make nudes. But if i take them, i want to be proud of them and feel like they are tastefully done. Stop freaking out over this... Seriously
>>17280762
>I've spent over a week sitting on a sexy video I made for you, when we had dinner the other night I was secretly still mentally tossing over whether I'd have the balls to actually send it, I put days upon days of nauseous thought into this short video of me playing with myself. I may or may not have done dress rehearsals. Anyway I hope you enjoy it, happy anniversary, y-you too
I would love to get a message like this. I like honesty, especially the kind that most people think is excessive.
>>17280841
But you don't lie and say you took them on the spot, right?
>>17280843
Wow, you can't let the idea of cheating go. It's been explained by multiple peiple, for multiple reasons, why jumping to this conclusion is a big leap, yet it seems your eyes glaze over every time the argument is spelled out. Let me guess, you were cheated on and now have trust issues with women?
>>17280859
I don't think OP has been cheated on because it sounds like it's his first relationship and he's clueless about how they work. He's sperging out and going full autismo. He just seems like an entitled whiner.
>>17280816
So what?
>>17280734
>At a time when she's not even up regularly
you're right, insomnia is a myth
I agree with OP. The lie is a red flag. I don't know why you guys are going in circles trying to justify a liar.
The schedule makes it worse.
>>17280859
I'm not OP, just a random mildly-autistic anon chiming in (first post in this thread). Never been cheated on or anything.
I just try not to lie to anyone about anything, even small stuff. I think it's disrespectful to the other person.
Most people seem to disagree and i'm interested in the rationale behind this.
>>17280843
>I would love to get a message like this. I like honesty, especially the kind that most people think is excessive.
If you acknowledge that most people would find that degree of honesty excessive, then can you not understand why someone would be tempted to fib and say "lol just did this now on a whim, n-no big deal"?
>>17280859
Not OP, but way to go answering his question!
OP I agree with you. The wording she used is obviously spelling out she's a liar. What you should do is tell her to Facetime or Skype when she wakes up so you can see her face while she explains. If she has a long ass story to tell you then listen to her carefully then when she's done ask her to tell you the story again backwards. Usually liars go over a story over and over, but not backwards so they stumble or put up a fight so they don't have to.
>>17280875
Explain your reasoning.
>>17280882
And I'm sure OP's story is 100% factual and he has not left out any detail and is not lying.
>>17280882
Holy shit, dude.
OP, post screenshot of the exact words she used. Maybe you misinterpreted it because you see what you want to see and have major mental issues.
>>17280876
The rationale is feelings. Your grandmother baked a cake for your birthday and it tastes like ass. Would you tell her "Grandma, your cake tastes like ass, how did you manage to make chocolate taste like a donkey's anus, you suck at baking"? No, a normal human would say thank you and leave it at that, which is a lie of omission.
You run into a friend who you haven't seen in years, they shout "I'm so happy to see you!" Do you respond "Eh, I'm kind of indifferent about the situation" or do you say "me too!"? A normal person cares about sparing a friend's feelings when the truth is needlessly harmful and accomplishes nothing.
Finally, it has been explained multiple times that the girl in this situation lied to hide her nervousness, or to try to make it seem sexier like spur of the moment things are, or to help her guy feel more special "I did this for YOUR birthday" instead of "I did this a week ago".
I'm kind of baffled that I have to explain this.
>>17280895
You're making an assumption it was a nice lie to protect his feelings. You don't know that.
>>17280882
Holy crap man, if anyone ever asked me to do that I'd think they were insane levels of paranoid. Can you type the post you just made, backwards? You have 60 seconds.
Break up with her. She deserves someone better. You're a control freak and you're only going to make her life miserable.
>>17280899
You're making an assumption that it was a malicious lie to cover up wrongdoing. You don't know that.
Also, to protect HE
>>17280904
To protect her own feelings too, is what my post was going to end with before the brisk cutoff of death it faced. Ego is a huge reason why people lie.
>>17280895
>"Grandma, your cake tastes like ass, how did you manage to make chocolate taste like a donkey's anus, you suck at baking"?
The trick is to burn the butter!
Source: the inedible piece of shit in my fridge.
Sorry, the wound's still fresh...
>>17280882
>>17280900
Too late. Liar!
PTW how OP is left without gf.
>>17280895
>I'm kind of baffled that I have to explain this.
Well THAT'S not very considerate of people's feelings!
>>17280910
I love you, please be my best friend
>>17280906
My mother in law "baked" me a cherry pie for my birthday in Febrary. Pie cherries are in season in June. Canned filling and premade burned crust. So very painful.
OP pls respond
what is her reply
So what are the options?
Either she lied or there was some messing up with the timestamp on the video. If she filmed it with a digital camera then it's entirely plausible the date and time is set wrong. If she filmed it on her phone or PC then it's less likely the time was messed up -- it's still a possibility though.
So let's say she lied. Why would she do it?
1) Because she thinks it sounds hot that it's fresh off the press.
2) Because she just happened to film herself wanking one night to porn and wanted to make it seem like it was for you.
3) Because she's been editing the video and looking at it again and again to make sure she likes it before sending it.
4) She made it for another guy and instead of deleting the evidence (or making a new one) she thought she'd send it to you on your anniversary because the idea of digitally cucking you really gets her off.
Definitely 4 OP. You said she was a massive cunt right?
>>17280880
What i don't understand is why that's excessively honest to most people, ie why a lie would be preferable to the truth when the truth isn't some horrible secret.
>>17280895
Why lie to hide nervousness around someone very close, like a boyfriend?
And doesn't the risk of being caught in the lie (like right now) and creating a bad situation outweigh the benefit of making it feel somewhat more spontaneous?
And yeah i'm clueless about people and their motivations in general, just piggybacking on this thread while we wait for OP to provide more details.
Reminder that even a massive faggot like OP can get a girlfriend while you are single.
>>17280613
>I feel like she doesn't lie to me as the others
oh you foolish foolish man. The number one trick for any liar is to convince the person they are with they are the "one" they don't lie to.
>>17280923
They're not very close. They don't even live together. They're still basically single and OP is clearly a paranoid.
so... we get to see the video or how's that work here?
>>17280923
>And doesn't the risk of being caught in the lie (like right now)
Most people are not as rudely retarded as OP, and would simply see the timestamp and think "that's fucking adorable, I wonder if there are bloopers," rather than "this somehow means she's cheating!"
So there's not really a reasonable assumption of risk with this sort of lie.
>>17280930
I bet his "girlfriend" actually lives far away and they have never met in real life.
>>17280943
>yfw OP only thinks he has a girlfriend but really it's just camgirl spam
>it's okay to lie if you mean well
Same logic cheaters use to not tell their partners.
>>17280948
Your grandma must really hate you!
>>17280948
You forgot the rest of the point, which is
>and it doesn't harm anyone
There are a multitude of ways that lying about cheating is harmful. Lying about your grandma's cake does not give your partner STDs, except in some really disturbing pornos.
>>17280722
Has a point if you're granting benefit of the doubt, but you seem to already have trust issues.
>>17280925
Why do I even come to /adv/ to read about all these people hooking up with obvious liars and other unsavory sorts.
I might be a bitter, lonely person, but I'm honest about it, dammit. And I'm only bitter in part to people walking into doomed relationships with their eyes open and me still being stuck alone four years after my last relationship.
Back to >>>/r9k/ it is.
>>17280843
Probably not when asked. But i would also not send them with "some pics from a week ago". You see, if i send them, i was probably sexting with my bf and also aroused. I would not want him to think i was faking THAT and that i was sending those pics withiut even being "there with him". But if i would lie if asked? No, i don't think so. But maybe i would beso embarassed that i would.
so what did she say
Lol /adv/ is this paranoid and OP is about to insult and probably lose his thoughtful girlfriend for no reason. What a little bitch.
So any response yet, OP?
>>17281539
go to bed OP's girlfriend
>>17280966
Dubs confirm it. You need to go back.
Op is kill
Did you catch the lieing whore or not?
>>17280722
>I already made a sexy vid
>might as well share it with my 'bf'
>get brownie points
You think girls don't do that? It's like that dating game where you can only buy one item and you give it to all the other girls to score some brownie point. She's probably sent it to someone other than OP already
>>17280517
here's how fucked up women are. Coworker I had been flirting with for weeks sends me a video of her shaving her cunt, really got my attention and we hook up after work one day and fuck. She told me her husband shot the video but he thought it was for him.
>>17282737
That's hot. Good job anon.
>>17282756
it was hot but that bitch was crazy. another of our coworkers got married a few weeks after and both of us go to the wedding. she left her husband at home watching their kid. we do the normal ignore each other around everyone but slip out to the car for a smoke. she pulled up her dress and had no panties on so we stood behind the car both smoking as I finger fucked her good, finished our cigarettes and went back inside.
OP. Any update?
>>17282756
>good job on enabling some whore to cheat and not telling the cuck husband
>>17282939
There's literally nothing wrong with cucking someone. It's the couple's fault for being a whore/weak.
>>17282972
The least you can do is tell the poor bastard.
>>17282984
But the pleasure comes from him being unaware.
All this debate and yet still no video. What gives?
>>17282991
Then he isn't the cuck. That would make you the cuck because you're okay with her fucking him. Nice one.
>>17283080
nah nigga ur wrong
>>17280722
I have the complete opposite reaction. I don't see how anyone could interpret this as anything other than cheating. Who the fuck makes a sexy video weeks in advance? They're not hard to make, and you generally make them when you're in the mood, usually after you've been flirting. The only reason she would have made this video at that time was because she sent it to someone at that time. She was just too lazy to make another one for this occasion and used an existing video.
It seems utterly incomprehensible that you can have evidence this strong and people are still defending her pretending we live in bizarro world where people act in completely illogical and unusual ways.
>>17283109
Look up the definition of cuckold and then kill yourself.
>>17283268
You're a wacko. It doesn't strike me as implausible at all that she recorded the video when she happened to be turned on & in the mood to make one, having decided in advance that she wanted to send him one for their anniversary, but told him she'd made it spontaneously because she thought he'd find that sweeter/sexier. That's just not that weird, man. I could easily see my girlfriend doing something like that. What if she was worried she wouldn't be turned on the night of?
I mean, she certainly could be cheating, I really have no idea, but the evidence just isn't as overwhelming as you think it is.
>>17280537
you fucked up. you should have straight up told her in person "i know youre cheating"
OP got dumped
is op alive
