So after months of games and volatility I had enough. Blocked her and started to work on myself. Two days later she sends me a WhatsApp message telling me she misses me. I pretty much let her have it, made her understand she played too many games and led me on. She seemed sincerely sorry and was very forthright about her intimacy issues. She says she wants to be JUST friends. No flirting, no nothing. I told her if I decide to do it she can't walk away and if she does, it's definitely over.
It's a little difficult for me because I liked this girl quite a bit and she showed all the signs that he felt that same but she'd implode every time we got intimate. I'm afraid to open up but maybe this will be a learning experience. Please help, dudes and ladies.
Tl;dr
Am I compromising my emotions by accepting a friendship with a girl who is emotionally unavailable but sent mixed signals. She apologized and asked me to consider, I told her this was her last shot at building a friendship. Should I do it or bail?
>>17280274
Sounds dangerous.
just do it you fag
/thread
>>17280626
Care to elaborate Monsieur
>>17280627
i haven't put much thought into it
but i'd do it if i were you
you can trust me
Bail. Fuck her. Too much trouble and negativity. You'll find someone else dude.
>>17280631
he's a doctor.
>>17280631
Fucking try to articulate yourself this is an advice board
>>17280644
The first sentence he said how shitty it was. Should just cut his losses and move on. Especially with more mixed bullshit like she misses him but no flirting, no nothing.
It's a recipe for a one-sided relationship, OP still has the feels and will get fucked in the ass again.
>>17280652
OP here. I honestly am on the fence. I'd like Ike to give it one more shot because I do enjoy spending time with this girl, but I don't want to internalize my emotions. I want to learn how to cultivate a friendship and not give up on her. I just know for sure if she fucks up again I'm absolutely done
>>17280639
there's nothing wrong with giving it another shot if you liked her that much, she clearly cares about you on some level and however small there is still the chance that things will work out
at the end of the day it's not that big of a deal if it causes you more grief either, and i'm saying this despite knowing how you feel
also you sound like you already told her you'd give her another shot so stick with your decisions
>>17280655
My suggestion would to be wait until you don't care about her on such an emotional level to try to form a friendship.
If you really are happy with just being friends then ask yourself, would someone you didn't have strong feelings for, a male or example, be worth all this hassle just to maybe become friends? If the answer is no you apply the same logic here
>>17280658
All the signs of emotional unavailability are there. She warned me about her intimacy issues etc and usually I'd bail but this one really does care . I didn't agree I told her to think about it and that we'd talk tomorrow. What do you mean it's not a big deal if it causes me more grief?
>>17280659
This is actually a pretty good idea. It's a little raw and I'm still resentful that she played games and sent mixed signals.
>>17280661
It's going to be hard to be just friends but she really does have issues with opening up. I figure maybe a little patience will be good for both of us. I can collect myself and she can maybe mature a bit. I know it's wishful thinking but I'm very conflicted
>>17280673
You didn't really take on board what I posted
>>17280675
Explain it, maybe I didn't get it
>>17280675
I actually didn't catch that either
>>17280274
2 days is not enough recovery time to "work on yourself". Tell her you're gonna take a break.
Then take a break.
In 2 or 3 months, get back in contact if you feel like it.
Here's a good rule of thumb: If she gets a boyfriend, you still gonna enjoy being friends? You gonna enjoy hanging out with the two of them?
If yes, that's cool. If not, you're just wasting your time.
>>17280835
Yeah I definitely didn't recover, not saying I did. Just unsure of whether me trying to be her friend would ruin out relationship further if I'm not actually ready to be just friends (I don't know if I am)
>>17281602
Don't compromise yourself
>>17280274
Does she really want to stay friends or is she just using you as attention?
>>17282391
This guy gets it.
>>17282391
Like attention for her? I mean she already gets a lot of attention, I see her toy around with guys and throw them away. But she's kind of making an effort to keep me around. I just don't know how to read that. She says she's never let herself get as close to anyone as she has to me. I mean, why go through this trouble if she's just interested in continuing to play games. I made it very clear this is the last time
>>17282604
that does suggest she really wants to be friends but it could still be that she just wants attention and happens to care more about you than other people she gets it from
>>17282644
Yeah this is very true. I honestly don't know what to do
