This a long text. I appreciate is someone reads it, even more if I get some feedback.
This started on early march and ended a few hours ago.
Before this, I was dating someone, years ago. I'm from south america. Came here 2~ years ago. Started "dating" a year after that. It was mostly online, talking or going out eventually, but nothing serious, I get bored really easily if I don't find the other person mentally attractive.
My break up with my ex was weird. Each one went its way and never talked back. Until around a year and a half that I was here.
Fast forward. Met someone on tinder. We started talking and eventually met. There was chemistry, really cute, slightly older than me american woman.
We kissed a lot that day. Next weekend, we went to a hotel for two days. She payed for everything.
She told me about her life. Her previous relationship was abusive and unfaithful. She started dating several people on the side thanks to that. She mentioned her ex's name more and more. Mostly because she was drunk most of the time. Alcohol, cigarettes and/or weed. Which I don't do at all (neither of those 3)
Things started to get better, she would mention that ex and/or several other. I never told her that it bothered me.
Her ex got sick, she started talking that she was worried about him and went the hospital once or twice.
It bothered me, but I was kind of alright, it's another person's life.
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Caught her on tinder one day. She said she wasn't sure if I wanted to make the relationship work because I almost never called her (we texted all day long)
Things got really bad. Both of us lost our jobs. She always took care of me. With or without job. I will always be grateful, she made sure I was fed and well all the time.
She got quite drunk a few times and wanted to break up with me.
I talked about my (only) ex to her. The third time she wanted to break up, it was because she saw I talked to her on whatsapp. She got mad and asked her what was my need to talk to her. If there was something my ex was providing that my girlfriend didn't. I told my ex it was best to part ways again.
She eventually met my family. We talked about getting married and names for kids.
We fell in love for each other.
Last night, after I picked her up from work, she mentioned sending a text message. I glanced at her phone and saw an open conversation where she was trying to send pictures of herself (facebook, bikini) to someone.
And the most painful one. I'm at work, trying my best not to cry. Feeling really bad (physical, mental and emotionally)
I confronted her. She said it was a friend of her roommate's, which gave them weed. But, he started doing it for free, asking to go out several times.
I checked her phone. Before the worst part, she mentioned something like "I started dating someone from (random) ethnicity", of course, not mine. According to her, it was sympathy to get help to get a job.
She had calls and conversations with her ex, last one, the one she always mentions.
Sexual talks, nude/dick pictures of him, things she would like to do to him, phone talks, going since we started talking to yesterday. She said she still loves him.
We both agreed that our relationship was never going to be the same if we continued.
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After that, she said she understands if I want to break up, but said that she never cheated physically on me. She used to date a lot before, but that she was faithful to me and really loved me.
I mentioned, once I'm gone, it's going to be like if I never existed.
Deleted all of our pictures together on her phone and facebook, conversations, my contact, everything that I could.
She got mad at the next morning, saying I didn't have the right to take her memories, and that she has no one.
After that, she went out for a smoke, I checked her phone. She sent a message to the dealer saying to go to her place, that I had broken up with her.
That was after she got mad. Before that, she asked for a second chance, that she loves me and wanting to have sex with me.
She said she just wanted someone to buy her smokes and alcohol, but went directly to other person before me.
She said that if I do that, she won't meet up with the other guy.
I dropped her at her place and came to work. Here I am now.
On a mediocre job, no friends, no longer a place to live and I owe my last 3 payments of my car.
I'm sure I skipped details, mostly because I'm sad, heartbroken and stressed.
I considered suicide. You might say, suicide over breaking up with someone you dated for almost 3 months? Well, I was in love. I asked her "why would you do that to me? Why hurt me?", especially after the scene she made when she saw I was talking with my ex (about life, nothing sexual)
I'm starting to feel somewhat better after writing all this.
Thanks for listening. I will appreciate any comment.
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>>17278607
There's not a lot anyone can say that makes this any better
It was a whirlwind 3 months by the sound of it, and it appeared to be a fairly unhealthy relationship. She seems to smoke and drink a lot, whereas you don't. That can be a huge mismatch
It was just 3 months. It was infatuation, not love
Hang in there
>>17278626
I was happy, but there were a lot of complications. I was stressed almost 50% of the time.
She does, a lot. I don't, absolutely nothing.
Despite our differences, we were fine when we were happy. But as I read once "your significant other could be as happy with someone else"
True, 3 months don't seem enough, but I was happy being with her. First serious relationship here.
Your hang in there made me cry. Not having my friends for a hug is really killing me.
Thanks a lot anon
>>17278600
Haha dude, read it all.
This chick is not to be messed with, I bet you're not telling us she has an alcohol problem and obviously isn't using weed for recreational uses but more self-prescribed reasons. She is using you for sex or some personal asylum from personal or outside criticism and judgement. The reasons go on and on.
And I don't mean to be a dick parent figure, but you need to take a HUGE break from the internet and those apps you rely on to meet girls. The coolest most respectful, constructive, loving, interesting, and sexiest ladies build relationships without throwing all their likes and bios on a dating app. You need a lady who was raised getting to know people in person, not some algorithmic match.
And don't you go telling this torturous bitch what /adv/ tells you in hopes of having her understand where you're coming from and as a reason why you still love her and why she should love you back or you sound like some timid guy trying to change who she is. This would be strongly ill-advised.
>>17278600
Stop wasting time with some cunt you met online and focus all your energy on paying off this car of yours'. Then use that car to go buy a coffee or something and meet bitches. Then use that car to go see a drive-in movie or go on a trip.
It's not actually that hard to just approach a girl and say Hello... Find something you're both doing, make a subtle, gentle, slightly funny remark. Keep eye contact. Try to be confident. You can do this by looking confident - at your best. You always start the conversation, if she isn't responding it's probably because she doesn't know what to say (just like you in those situations I bet...) So you keep talking. Don't go looking for a success on your first try, just start small by talking to girls, saying anything. Don't go using any new girl you talk to as emotional leverage against this cheating pothead is doing to you. That's collateral damage. Go do some social activity like a play or whatever (it can be anything). Anything that takes effort for you to accomplish, that involves other people. Make new friends and ask them to hook you up. Don't think you're better than that. Try a double date. Stop worrying about meeting people online. We'll always be your friends too. Try some pot, listen to your favorite music or watch your favorite movie, and think about why this chick is bad for you. Don't convince yourself you'll be lonely forever and this chick is all you'll ever have. Bro.. She's cheating on you, maybe not physically, but she probably is. And when you figure out how wrong you were this whole time, it could hurt more and more later on for much longer if you don't accept these facts now.
I wish I knew this when I was dating.
Listen to these anons>>17278664
>>17278626
>>17278978
I appreciate the long read.
She does have a problem. Went to rehab several times.
Weed apparently is because she likes it and helps her relax. Typical use I suppose.
She is older, apparently her family didn't like the age difference. Sex was always great, and in a way, she was at peace while she was at my place.
The problem is that she has a flirty/slutty personality, so nothing I can do about it.
You are right about internet dating, but I don't have a social life so it's hard for me to meet people.
I already gave up on her. She said she would do anything but I don't trust or believe her. It will be the same in the end.
Still, she got mad after I deleted everything related to me from her phone. She said she doesn't want a second chance now, that I took her only happiness and joy by doing that.
Maybe it's for the best.
Thank you for your words
>>17279047
you took her happiness and joy?
do you honestly think this woman has any idea what happiness and joy is? do you?
>>17279005
I'm going to call the dealership and try to work something out. I need the car to work and everything else.
She was cheating on me. That's the main point of this. She said that she never cheated on me physically, but she didn't seem to understand, her excuse was "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm used to people abandoning me" blablabla. I feel much better, thinking what could happen makes me think that it's not worth it. It hurts, yes, but well, just another girl.
Listening to momma sed helps a lot too
>>17279066
Her words. I did everything I could to make her happy. But apparently being nice is not good enough. Her ex cheated and punched her in the face.
Right now I assume her joy is getting drunk
>>17279083
Lol bro she isn't the only one...
That shit never works out
If counselors and therapists had a nickle for every time they told someone this, they would be the wealthiest 1% of America
>>17279104
No, I know. Even though she said she would change her number, give me 100% access to any account and block people, there's still a possibility
