My gf, 21 years old, will soon commit suicide. We've been together for 3 months. It's my first relationship (I'm 23). She has a plan, but refused to give me details. I can't intervene ASAP because I live 3 hours by public transport (and I have no drivers' licence). I tried telling her best friend but, even after they talked, it didn't work: my girlfriend told me she'll kill herself quicker if I tell her again. She has 3 close male friends but I don't have their numbers. 2 seem to be nice. One of them, in particular, is the last reason why we argued.
This guy, who she thinks is a close friend, asked her, as a bet while playing cards, for blowjobs and to show her tits. She did the latter, while I was on a trip to Holland (I'm in Italy). He mocked me when I told him I would go beat him up and insinuated I am gay. Lastly, he also told her I will cheat on her and I already have. He is at least the 3rd person last month to tell her this, and none of these people know me personally or have ever spoken to me. I told her, as there have been loads of problems, to not see him again, speak to him or else I quit her.
I can't tell her mother, who lives with her, as she's crazyl and regularly insults and treats her like shit. I can't tell her father as he's a cheater and she despises him. Her stepfather is an idiot who tells her she's a whore, egocentric and deserves to be cheated on (he told the last thing behind my back). I tried sending her to a psychologist but they told her her depression is "normal" given the situation and she doesn't need to be seen again. I tried listening to her, filling her with compliments, being really nice, being rad honest, tried to get her a hobby, tried to make her more autonomous. I even went to a shrink just for the sake of her. I'm even ready to marry her and have a family. I was her last hope and she will suicide because I cannot save her.
How do you prevent a person from committing suicide? How do you deal with the suicide of your partner?
Call the police in her area
Call the police. You've done everything you can.
If you think it's going to come to an end soon, have a nice long talk and tell her everything you've wanted to say in case you never see her again. You've only dated her for 3 months. He well-being is not your responsibility nor your burden.
get her help and stay away from psycho girls, you idiot
>>17274136
>We've been together for 3 months
no you haven't, you have a pen pal with an active imagination
>>17274140
I do not know if the police in Italy can intervene in such cases.
>>17274146
I will feel guilty though if she does and I have managed to not make her change opinion.. that's the issue. She loves me but it is not easy to discuss with a person who, whenever you discuss with her, thinks you are going to leave her forever.
>>17274152
Reread what I wrote. I am a bit crazy and weird myself, I have a connection with these people.
>>17274158
You are an idiot.
>>17274290
>I do not know if the police in Italy can intervene in such cases.
You have nothing to lose by trying.
>>17274290
Sì, possono.
Chiama la polizia subito.
>>17274136
Si, possono intervenire. Fagli vedere i messaggi come prova. Decidere se intervenire o no spetta a loro. E cristo, la prossima volta che una ragazza dice che si vuole suicidare, lasciala fare
>>17274146
This. Call the police and tell them she's threatening suicide.
I am sorry, OP, but I'm not sure there's anything more you can do for her. This is sokeone who needs to not be in a relationship: she casually breaks boundaries (and hypocritically so, given her attitudes toward her father), she hangs out with bullies, and she uses suicide threats to manipulate people she loves. It's the cycle of abuse, come to its sad conclhsion yet again: the abuser becomes abusive themselves.
Be gentle, but get out of this. She was planning to kill herself long before you entered the picture: if she does so now, you will not be to blame.
The psychiatrist's diagnosis gives me pause. At face value, it sounds like this is a psychiatrist in need of some professional disciplinary actions. On the other hand, it is not altogether impossible that she may have manipulated the psychiatrist too, to get out of having to go back. That's another reason to call the police: an encounter with her local mental health system, while unpleasant, may get her started on actually getting the help she needs.
>>17274290
OP are a fool or just a crazy as she is?
Have you even met this girl?
>>17274294
You are right.
>>17274298
Grazie mille. La chiamerò solo se insisterà ancora col suo proposito quando la vedo di persona.
>>17274306
Tu lasceresti ammazzare una donna che vuole amarti per tutta la vita? Non scherziamo. Comunque grazie mille, non lo sapevo.
>>17274312
She already got me out of this an hour ago. She left me via phone saying I was always nervous,stressed and sad and that I wasn't the sweet and caring guy I was in the beginning. I sacrificed sweetness to care about her issues so she could have a better life but it didn't work out well. Too many problems to hand for a single human being.
It was a psychologist anyway, not a psychiatrist. I thought too that the guy was wrong but I decided to trust her that she told him all the truth. Anyway you sound a clever, acute and sensitive person... I respect you.
>>17274334
We have met several times, I have stayed at her place several days and nights in a row, she has stayed at mine for days at a time as well. You are the fool
>>17274388
>She already got me out of this an hour ago.
I am sorry for your loss. I said something like this would be for the best, and I meant it, but I know it still hurts.
>I sacrificed sweetness to care about her issues so she could have a better life but it didn't work out well. Too many problems to hand for a single human being.
And that's just it. No one could have tried harder than you did. Most people just can't handle a relationship with someone who has problems this severe, and there is no shame in that. The people who can often get called saints, and there's a reason for that.
I'm sad for her too. I hope she finds what she needs, and I hope you find what you need.
>>17274403
She tried to tell me on the phone "You want to help me? You really care about this relationship? You know what I need? Become the guy you were before"... I obviously got angry because I felt as if all my efforts weren't worth...
She says she loves only me but it is simply not doable. People like this need to help themselves. The others can try, but it's not guaranteed they will make it...
