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Anonymous
2016-06-19 20:30:42 Post No. 17272300
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Anonymous
2016-06-19 20:30:42
Post No. 17272300
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I just realized that I'm incredibly narcissistic. People have always described me as self-centered, and that irked me, but then I realized what I was.
I don't value other people. I don't see them as real. When you mow down enemies in a shooter, do you feel bad for them? Those enemies exist to be mowed down.
Now, let me clarify, I'm not saying I'd murder someone. I'm just saying that I have this fucked up perspective where human beings are just backdrops, props, NPCs, etc., in the story of ME. I observe reality from a egocentric perspective, this world is like a daydream and it will evaporate when I die.
But I also acknowledge that I'm a shitlord for being this way.
Sadly, as time goes on, I feel more detached from reality. If I feel like I'm in a dream, then how does anyone else matter but the dreamer? It's getting to the point where I only see people as objects to be used. I don't want to be this person. I never set out to be like this, I always thought I was kind and virtuous over all. But if I ultimately feel like the entire universe is just a dream that exists to entertain my dumb ass, I'm probably a really shitty person, am I not? How do I be better?
