I caught my sister blowing her boyfriend.
I came back from a late lunch earlier with one of my pals, this was around 4. Walked up to the front door but it was locked. I figured someone was just taking a nap and forgot I was out. Didn't have my keys with me and didn't wanna fuck up somebody's nap, so I just came in the back door. Walked in, took a dump, and went to the couch to watch some TV. We have a pretty big sectional, and I saw a blanket propped up with shit moving underneath it. I thought what any logical person would: It was my little brother playing cave or some shit with one of his friends. So, I figured I'd go over and try to scare the hell out of them.
At this point you should know that my house has window unit A/Cs, not central, so they're pretty loud and hender your hearing ability pretty significantly. This blanket was located right in front of one of our air conditioners(it's about a foot or two higher than your head would be when you sit underneath it.) Just wanted to elaborate on that so you understand why they didn't know I was here at this point.
Anyway, I sneak up to the blanket and sit right next to the blanket. Remember, it's a sectional, so no counterweight issues, someone could sit right next to you and you would never know as long as they're on their own section, and each section seats one. I sit there for a second, thinking about what to do, and it hits me. I grab the side of the blanket, whip it over my head, and scream "HAY GUYZ, WUTS GOIN ON IN DIS BLANKET?!" No one would have understood the joke as I'm the only anon in my family, but the poetry of the phrase itself is reward enough for the gag.
Just as I get to the word "on", I see my answer and it slows down, so it was more like "Hey guys, what's goin on...in..this blanket...". There she was, my 15 year old sister on her knees in front of her boyfriend, his half erect cockn'balls hanging out the top of his shorts.
(cont)
>>17269724
But still, I finished my sentence. I don't know why I did it, I saw wut wuz goin on in dat blanket long before I finished my question. It's not like if I finished it, we'd all forget the situation and have a hearty laugh, him with his dick hanging out, her with a sweaty, red-as-a-baboon's-ass face from embarassment and sucking his dick under a hot blanket for god knows how long. Anyway, I'm sitting there with my mouth wide open, with her's open as well (out of shock, not lockjaw,) and I'm shifting my eyes all over the room trying not to make eye contact with either of them. He's covering his crotch with the blanket, with his hand propping it up, trying not to get precum all over the thing. I don't know what the hell to do, so I just say "what the fuuuuuuuck", got up, walked out the door, started up my car and split. I probably would have gotten all pissy and over protective, except that her boyfriend is a really good guy and we've got a minor friendship brewing.
Came home about a half hour ago and they were both gone, thank god for that. Don't worry, I made plenty of noise coming in just in case. I don't know what I'll say when she/he comes in, it'll be uncomfortable for a while. Although, I'd imagine that making jokes about it would make us more comfortable with the situation, but I'm just not creative enough. Suggestions?
Oh my God you're a fucking idiot, but you know how to tell a story OP
I have no advice for you. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably never bring it up again and try to act like it didn't happen
>>17269728
>What has been seen cannot be unseen
>you guys are the reason I need therapy
>scarred for life
A few examples of sarcasm you should use to ease tension. Use those types of jokes
top kek 10/10 thread
it's not really anyone's fault, they should have been doing that behind closed doors, not in a family area, and you should have maybe thought more carefully about what was going on before acting.
either way it's a funny story you'll be laughing about in a few months
I personally would keep quiet. Its her private business. But I don't know what kind of relationship you and your sister have. I do know that 15 year old girls are emotional as fuck and you should consider the blast radius
>>17269728
This is actually really fucking funny
All you have to do is say Hey guys, what's goin on...in..this blanket. and boom you've got yourself shooting right up the hilarity meter. you could also use it to black mail if you want
>>17269724
>>17269724
The same thing happened to me last week, but I think they were having sex (room was dark, she later asked me if I saw his dick), I just said "what the fuck" and closed the door, she followed me down stairs and we has a two minute conversation about it. Done, I've asked her not to talk to me about it again, it's as scarring as catching my parents a year or two ago and I'm just not gonna a bring it up.
Just to be clear, I'm not attracted to females.
>>17269745
all good ways to ruin her self image and cause a years of therapy
just text this to both of them
i am going to pretend that i didn't see it and we will act like it never happened
then act normally
>>17269917
Better yet, text them.
"You guys better wash that fucking blanket, younger brother plays under there".
Tell him he overstepped his boundaries on your territory and then mark him with your piss so he knows what's up.
>>17269922
Diss right here.
>>17269758
holy shit this is too much
I haven't heard this in a long time. This is one of my favorite pastas. So silly
>>17270735
Is this a pasta? Well whatever, I had a good laugh from it, so its all good!
>>17270764
Yes this is really really old pasta. I remember reading it from a giant collection of copypasta on encyclopedia dramatica, years ago back when it was a thing
