How do I stop being so judgemental?
>Grandad grew up in a poor as fuck family (often went to bed still hungry as a child), finished school barely able to read and worked himself towards being an upper working class business owner
>My mum did the same, working her ass off to become a doctor
>My dad was from a more fortunate background but still worked hard and is on a good salary
>Parents remembered the reason that we're decently well off and made me and my sister work for everything, only gave us small amounts of money and didn't buy is gifts except for christmas and birthdays, and when we didn't do well (for instance when I got bad grades one year) they'd be blunt and tell us it was because we didn't work hard enough
*Before I carry on I just want to stress that they weren't abusive in any way whatsoever*
Now I've just finished university and feel like over the last four years I've been immersed in a hug fest where no one is held responsible for their failures.
This last year I've lived with a group of middle class tossers who blame their below- average grades on their dyslexia/childhood trauma/whatever they can think of while taking hard drugs most days and going drinking every weekend even when they have exams around the corner. One of them is taking the same course as me and called me 'judgemental' when he told me he found the classes too hard to understand and I responded by telling him it would be easier if he read some of the literature reccomended by the university and missed less classes.
It seems that everywhere I meet people like this and they just make me angry, and I end up not making a connection with them because I find it hard not to point out that they'd be able to change their shitty lives if they just fucking worked at something.
Is anyone else like this? I feel like I'm losing out on opportunities to make friends because if it...
TLDR: How do I stop letting special snowflakes bother me?
This post is like in a mirror. Very similar background, ethics and opinion of peers as you. Like you my upbringing and frustration with the education system has pushed to me to pursue ambitious goals rather than ride the entitlement cruise like my peers.
Realize however you're the snowflake in your situation. Like myself, you're driven by a superiority complex (https://analyticalpsychology.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/types-of-psychological-complexes/).
There isn't anything wrong with that, if anything it's an advantage. Realize however you have to set aside your ethics in social situations and be emotionally flexible enough to be comfortable around your peers and vis versa. Personally I only spend time at parties/social situations when I feel it would bolster me emotionally. My work/projects/ambitions are my priority.
>>17258408
I just want to say, back off from Dyslexic people. They legitimately have it hard. If someone is faking it, be as harsh as you want, but any non-bum Dyslexic would kill to not be fucked over like that.
Chill out, Grimey.
Think about it this way, are you happy that you have the skills to deal with the shit life throws at you?
Well they don't have those skills. In some ways, they've had it a bit easier, but in the long run they'll have to struggle to figure it out all by themselves.
Your parents put a lot into making you self-sufficient, that wasn't an accident and it wasn't a misfortune, it was their gift to you. These kids didn't get the same benefit, and it's going to bite them all in the ass one day.
It's one thing to be mad at people who coast through life on easymode and still find time to complain, but there's no use getting mad at someone who's struggling and lacks the skills to solve their own problems, problems they'd be much happier having solved. There's not much to do but pity them. And maybe try to help, but it sounds like you only really know your parents' approach, and that's not going to work on a mostly-formed adult who doesn't answer to you. So hey, that's something YOU don't know and can't solve, maybe something to be aware of next time you're frustrated with someone who can't handle something that seems easy to you.
Everyone comes from different backgrounds. It's not just kids who have the easy life who fail at this shit either, kids who grow up in abuse and neglect often suck at a lot of things too because no one ever took the time to teach them how to not suck, or teach them the value of effort, which is also something worth remembering.
>guy trusts you enough to tell he's finding the class hard
>You reciprocate by telling how much of a loser he is
Look here, no one is asking you for a favor, you're free to do as you please. However, having that kind of attitude and then complaining that you're "losing out on opportunities to make friends" reeks of hypocrisy.
If you think your colleagues are dumb, don't interact with them. Go and meet other people instead of complaining.
>>17258408
Realize your own fuckups, internal or external.
>>17258408
>One of them is taking the same course as me and called me 'judgemental' when he told me he found the classes too hard to understand and I responded by telling him it would be easier if he read some of the literature reccomended by the university and missed less classes.
Tell him he's being judgemental when he calls the class too difficult . He doesn't know the background or the struggles of that class. Who knows what bullshit it had to endure to be added to the course catalog? Fucking prick. Who is he to judge?
You're right he should be complaining about flunking a class. You however have no emotional control when it comes to these situations.
Being right doesn't mean it needs to be acknowledged. Read the page about complexes and understand that while your peers are dysfunctional when it comes to their work/responsibilities, you're dysfunctional when it comes to your peers.
This is a good thread. A good question with good answers. Well done everyone.
>>17258470
OP here. I agree fully that dyslexia makes your life harder and it's something no-one deserves, but it improves when you practise reading and writing, and taking drugs instead of doing these things doesn't help. I'm saying this as someone with Dyspraxia who has to work out on a regular basis just to stop my arms and legs turning into jelly.
>>17259134
Small world, I also have Dyspraxia. And yeah, just like with Dyspraxia, Dyslexics can improve over time with practice, but you know as well as I do they will never be flawless, same as us.
I totally agree about drug use though, there is zero reason to pile on when you are already disadvantaged, and going around complaining after making that choice and screwing up as a result is the worst kind of hypocrisy.
I am a damnsite more impressed with your work ethic knowing you have Dyspraxia though - it made me a lot less willing to put my all into anything because it would almost always bite me in the ass. Kudos man.
