So I was at my usual coffee-shop-bar hangout spot last night after I got off work at midnight, and there was a girl there that I had never seen before, and she's super cute.
For almost an hour and a half she hung out behind the bar and did small menial tasks while she talked to me about stuff. I got her name, but I was kind of drunk by the time they closed and I left and neglected to ask her for her number.
How can I follow up on this without waiting around at the place for her to show up like a total creep? Did I fuck up by not getting her number? If it doesn't work out I don't want to be shunned from this place because I like the people there and I like being a regular.
tl;dr - met barback girl, super cute, into cool shit I like too, forgot to get number like an idiot. How can I follow up without being a fucking creep?
>>17249024
Shameless self bump.
>>17249024
>How can I follow up without being a fucking creep?
if you go in sober she'll lose interest. go back under the same conditions as last night
>>17249107
You really think so?
I guess I can wait until next weekend. I'm just thinking she might forget who I am in that time. But if she doesn't, good on me, right?
I felt pretty weird staying until close there, too. I got the impression the male bartender that was there was really not into me hanging out and talking to this girl.
>>17249024
>I left and neglected to ask her for her number.
Okay... um, did you maybe think about getting her number but then not ask, because of reasons? Because that seems more likely to me. And if that's the case it would be understandable, because putting yourself out there and making an unambiguous move is scary.
>Did I fuck up by not getting her number?
A little, but good news: you can try again. You can always try again, anon. Getting into the dating scene requires a little recklessness with your ego. You have to be able to say, "fuck it," and just ask. And if she declines, that doesn't mean it was the wrong move to ask. It's the right move to ask. Try again with this girl, try again with the next girl, just keep on being reckless.
Also, don't worry about being (or looking like) a creep. Getting into a relationship takes looking like a creep sometimes. I've looked like a creep lots of times. But it's worth it, because there will be a girl who doesn't think you're being a creep at all, and the only way to know you've found her is to ask every time.
Honestly, I'd just go in and directly ask for her number (obviously not in front of a million people or when she's busy working, wait for a lull.) Being direct is way less creepy than beating around the bush for another hour and a half and then asking her. Literally: "Hey, I realized after I left yesterday that I never asked for your number." (Smile, eye contact, relaxed body language!)
No, I can't guarantee it'll work, but a direct no-games approach can be very refreshing and courage isn't totally lost on most girls.
>>17249416
>did I think about it and then not ask
I'd say this is pretty accurate, I had full intentions of asking for her number, but again, I did get pretty drunk. It wasn't until I was on my way home that I realized I really should have just nutted up and asked for her number.
As far as trying again, I fully intend to. As I was leaving she told me to come around again sometime, and I got her name, and gave her mine. I think it's probably pretty likely that she'll have forgotten about me by the next time I'm in, but I suppose I can roll the dice with that one.
I guess what I'm going to do is continue my week as normal and hope I bump into her again under similar circumstances.
