Hello /adv/
Today I forgot that it is my moms birthday. My dad texted to remind me and I called her directly after. I feel bad about this, but not truly. My mom, dad and my sisters get along and seem to relate to each other, generaly behaving like a family does.
I however have never felt like a part of the family, and if it was possible I would opt out and never care about them again.
Am I just autistic or is this feeling of not belonging / not wanting to connect with the family common? I've always kept to myself, and I don't hate them or anything like that. Had a good childhood, they never "understood" me or whatever though.
I'm on the same boat as you, anon.
It seems like you never connected with them. It may be some deep isues, it may be just the fact that they didn't spend with you enough time but it's their fault, not yours. It's not like it's child obligation to form connection with parents.
Don't feel shitty, just do whatever will make you happy.
>>17248956
Not OP, though I feel like people have good relationships with their parents because they are born with traits they share with them. I feel like I don't have anything in common with my parents, if I had to choose, they wouldn't be someone who I'd spent my free time with - person wise.
I connect with my mother alright, but when it comes to non-nuclear family, I just feel sort of awkward.
Like my grandparents, they were always really kind to me as a kid. Now that I've grown up, I feel like I've sort of failed them and haven't really met their expectations of me as an individual.
For all intents and purposes, I'm a failure by societies standards. As much as I shouldn't let that get between me and my families relationship, in particular with my grandparents who have limited time, I do. I fail at that. Too afraid of remembering them as the people that dismissed me instead of the people that cared so much for me as a child.
As far as the rest of my family goes, I only really see them during our annual christmas gathering. As I am a failure, I lack any sort of common interests with any of them, or at least, the knowledge required to have an engaging conversation on the matter. I wasn't very sociable growing up either, and hadn't made any real friends until high school, and even then, there was only 1.
It's just a pain. I'm too stupid to understand modern social dynamics, and all I can do is watch the fucking clock tick by. It's agonizing.
OP here:
So it seems so far that its not that uncommon to not be close with your family (at least for people who post one 4chan)
This doesnt really reassure me yet, are there any other views on this situation?
I think you'll need to go outside of 4chan to get a sense of normal on this one.
I had this happen for a long time: about 10 years. It's apparently not so uncommon, but I wouldn't call it "normal".
My advice -what worked for me- is to set up a time to call them every week. Just make a list, starting with the time zones closest to you and then moving later, and make a quick call to everyone on the list. Do not miss this for ANYTHING. Even if you don't think you have anything to say, they might. It will take a while for things to stop being stilted and awkward, but it will come eventually.
>>17248920
My Dad went to hospital because of a lung embolism. And literally didn't give a shit. My mom was absolutely shocked and worried and as she told what happened i was like "oh...okay". After that she asked literally "what the fuck is wrong with you" and started crying.. and is still didn't care at all..
soo.. yeaah... don't worry.. you're not the only one feeling like this.
ps.
i don't have any serious mental issues
and my parents never harmed me in any way.
>>17249171
* And i literally didn't give a shit
