Ok so i'm having what I personally would consider to be a huge issue, I dont feel like I can talk to anyone about it and every time I bring it up with my partner I get ambiguous responses and no clear resolution.
I've been with this girl for 5 years and we are on the cusp of marriage after all this time we know each other pretty well.
The issue im having here is either i'm misreading her 90% of the time or im not misreading the situation at all and she is just lying to me. If you have ever been in a situation where you have asked your partner or friend even if everything was ok only to get a responce stating that everything was fine with their body language facial expressions and general attitude all pointed to them not being fine then your familiar with what km going through, this wouldnt bother me normally but the frequency of it has risen so much that we must run into this issues 3-4 times a week and it always causes and argument and awckwardness between us.
So I guess what im looking for here in some insight to the female mind like is this all my faultam I the one blowing things up is she lying to me is she hiding her feelings for some other reason ?
This whole deal has gotten me really paranod about what happens behind the scenes in our relationship and i'm developing horrifyingly big trust issues with her, its too the point that in some situations I cant tell wether or not she is being honest with me.
>>17246354
You seem really autistic.
>>17246354
Have you considered something kind of like this is going on?
(girlfriend gets a little negative about something, but is trying to hold herself)
> Are you ok?
> I'm fine (thinks of situation which makes her angry, crosses arms)
> Are you sure?
> Yeah (grimaces thinking of situation)
> ARE YOU LYING TO ME WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME YOU FILTHY LIAR
I am its gotten better with age though. the offical diagnosis is aspergers or executive function.
but you know if you wanna go on and just troll without giving any constructive response then why dont you go back to /b/ and find a trap thread that you can fap to all day.
>>17246390
I have considered that yeah I just dont understand why it should even escalate to that point, whats wrong with just being honest about things like if shes feeling down why not just say im feeling down today
>>17246391
> but you know if you wanna go on and just troll without giving any constructive response then why dont you go back to /b/ and find a trap thread that you can fap to all day.
I'm sorry for your autism.
I'm the second comment as well.
> implying I go to /b/
>implying I like traps instead of wearing a strapon to fuck qt guys
>>17246415
well /b/tards are generally the first ones to throw out autist slurs
>>17246401
Because it's tolling to keep talking about unpleasant emotions.
This autism really is a crutch in your wheel, huh
Maybe you should ask her how she would like you to handle the situation, given that she is ok with you being autistic.
If it was me, it'd like to be comforted without having to experience regurgitating out my negative emotions.
It means "I'm slightly annoyed but it's not something I'm going to make a big deal about."
That's why when you keep asking it escalates. When someone is trying to let something go and you make them talk about it, all of that emotion ends up directed at you.
>>17246430
Nobody likes talking about unpleasnt emotions.
It can be yes i'm not using it as an excuse for anything you were the one that brought the autsim aspect up, you just happened to be correct.
I have breached it before and not gotten clear responses one day I could be doing the right thing and the next day what would be considered the right action ends up being the wrong one.
I don't understand how to comfort someone without knowing whats wrong thats probably an autistic thing
>>17246437
she expects that im open and honest about everything even unpleasant things. I just want that to be reciprocated
You're a piece of shit and I'm glad you know it. How dare you cheat on your girl who's is in SCHOOL and saving up money for YOUR future together. & then you're throwing yourself a pitty party, imagine how bad she's going to feel if and when you tell her what's been going on? You don't really love her if you hurt her this way. Think about how you would feel if she was doing this to you and you're over there like a moron thinking about a future together. The best thing to do is tell her you're interested in someone else and leave it at that, save her some of the heart ache.
>>17246445
> you were the one that brought the autsim aspect up, you just happened to be correct.
Just so we're clear, I didn't bring it up to harass you and I will be a doctor soon so it was just a cold conclusion for me.
> I could be doing the right thing and the next day what would be considered the right action ends up being the wrong one.
I think you should let her know about this. What matters is you care and you're trying. She must be a very patient person.
> I don't understand how to comfort someone without knowing whats wrong thats probably an autistic thing
Ideas:
- give her a hug
- give her a kiss on the cheek
- hold her hand
>>17246455
wrong thread bro
>>17246465
> Just so we're clear, I didn't bring it up to harass you and I will be a doctor soon so it was just a cold conclusion for me.
Sorry I misconstrued that we are on 4chan after all.
> I think you should let her know about this. What matters is you care and you're trying. She must be a very patient person.
I have and there is no decisive way to handle it on her end, I happen to be more patient that she is.
>>17246455
very wrong thread but I did read that one and happen to agree with you
>get a responce stating that everything was fine with their body language facial expressions and general attitude all pointed to them not being fine then your familiar with what km going through
I fucking hate women
>>17246488
It's okay, the environment here is very rash. It's nobody's fault.
From what I gather, you follow the "be open about your emotions" without exceptions while she doesn't. Perhaps you should strike a deal where you don't have to share your negative emotions all the time with her either. Simply say, "I don't want to talk about it. " If you cannot live without rigidity, the rules should be amended so that you are comfortable with each other.
It doesn't seem like your girlfriend is purposefully trying to hurt you by lying to you at all.
But you guys should definitely level the playing field to a rigidity you both can follow.
Also, she probably realizes that her emotions and what she wants can be fickle so you guys should just wait it out calmly. Maybe it's okay for her to feel angry or sad alone for a little bit, and she can come back into constructive conversation with you about the same topic or into normal conversation when she's done feeling this way.
>>17246688
> From what I gather, you follow the "be open about your emotions" without exceptions while she doesn't
I never really used to then I got into a situation where I broke her trust and we broke up. Then the conclusion that we came too for reforging our relationship was unobstructed open and honest communication
> But you guys should definitely level the playing field to a rigidity you both can follow.
maybe again this is an autistic trait but im not sure hwo too level the playing field here what can I do
