tl;dr Ex boyfriend keeps making contact and I don't know what to do
>dated for 5 years
>horrific break-up where he started to love someone else and I cheated on him
>regretted it and understood I made a horrible mistake
>we both decided it would be best to break up
>I keep trying to make contact every couple of months and we talk like the old times, but then he leaves because he can't forgive me
>don't date anyone else, it's been 2 years
>we met at a party for NYE and spent the entire time talking
>he said he missed me, but could never be with me again and I told him I still loved him
>he cut all contact with me and moved on
>get a call from him today, said he didn't know why he wanted to talk but just wanted to hear my voice
>we watched some videos, talked and joked for about 7 hours
>we didn't talk about our feelings or anything, we just talked about anything
I understand that people probably won't be able to help; but what does this mean? I miss talking to him, but I think I'm finally over him and I know that he can't forgive me and won't want me back. I don't think I want to be with him, but I just miss talking with him and doing stuff with him. Was this just a one off? Was him contact me a sign that he wants to talk to me?
I know I'm going to get some /r9k/ responses about how I'm scum and how all women cheat, but I'd appreciate any help
>>17245622
Maybe you both just have a hard time letting go? It doesn't sound like you want to be together, but more so that you want **someone** to be with. You can't find that someone elsewhere, so you turn to each other. - At least that's my take on it.
How come you haven't dated anyone else?
>>17245622
Cut off contact with him. He committed emotional infidelity, which is as much cheating as sex with another.
>>17245628
I sort of slumped into a mild "depression", so I didn't look for anyone. I really loved him and when he told me he loved someone else I lashed out and cheated and I never really got over that I did that.
Any time someone came close I just compared them to him
>>17245630
> Cut off contact with him.
It may seem aggressive, but I agree that this is, probably, the best course of action.
> He committed emotional infidelity, which is as much cheating as sex with another.
I'll have to disagree with you. Having sex with someone else is a conscious decision, while falling in love is not.
>>17245635
> I sort of slumped into a mild "depression"
I'm sorry to hear that. Has it gotten better?
> I really loved him
I understand. Letting go of someone you love is hard, but sometimes it's necessary.
> I lashed out and cheated
You made a mistake and that's all right. You need to forgive yourself, for what you did.
> Any time someone came close I just compared them to him
They never quite lived up to his image, did they?
Look, I get what you're saying, but I don't think you know what's really happening. You're not comparing them to him, but to the mental image you have of him. In your head, he's the perfect man for you, while in reality, he too has made mistake. You shouldn't compare anyone else to him, but if you have to do it, don't forget that he, too, has flaws!
