>31
>No education, job skills, or savings.
>Crushing depression, though able to function at the menial jobs I've held.
>Kissless virgin. Would be dateless too, but sister tried to set me up with one of her friends a decade and a half ago.
>Hadn't felt driven or alive for decades.
>Find out dream girl exists.
>Feel motivated to exercise, quit soda, and look into trades.
>Feel fucking alive for the first time since I was a kid.
>E-mail back and forth with her, she's everything I'd ever hoped to find.
>She lives a third of the globe away, in a country that doesn't speak my language, but that seems like nothing after a decade of gnawing emptiness.
>She has someone. Married infact.
>Die a little more inside. Try to stay optimistic when writing her.
>Motivation slowly fades.
>Can feel the darkness laughing in the back of my skull.
>Try to keep moving forward.
>Try a couple dating sites.
>The only messages I get back are scammers, bots and cam-whores trying to fleece what little money I do have.
>Back to feeling like there's nothing in this world for me. That no one will ever need me That I'm surplus to requirement, simply waiting for the junk collector to arrive.
Why don't I feel like I can succeed for myself?
because you have no drive. improve yourself and the rest will come naturally.
>Find out dream girl exists.
>She lives a third of the globe away, in a country that doesn't speak my language, but that seems like nothing after a decade of gnawing emptiness.
sounds like you're stupid. just dumb as shit.
>>17245653
yes. stupid that he thought he was going to be with a woman hapf way around the world when he doesnt have his life in order. as i said. if he improves himself the rest will come naturally.
>>17245641
And how does one get drive? When I had that hope, it was simply there.
Now, everything's back to feeling pointless.
>>17245653
>>17245665
Yeah, it was. But hope isn't exactly the most rational emotion.
Which is why I've always said that's there's a reason it was in the box with all the other horrible diseases.
>>17245709
i can teach people to do a great many things, however i do not know how to teach drive. if i had to give you advice as to how to do that though, i would say use your desire to be succesful, to not be lonely, to find the woman of your dreams and have the means to woo said bunny lass. you have to have your life, and your finances in order to bring someone else into your life. when you start making strides to improve yourself, youre attitude will improve, your health will improve, your overall well being will improve. you will have purpose. and you will be able to use that to impress your woman. go to the gym, building your body will build your confidence at the same time. it takes work anon. i know from experience.
hope is one thing, "feeling alive" because of an internet acquaintance is being a retard. no one with a normal adult brain would've done what you describe.
cont.
i work building gas lines. when there isnt any work and im laid off for 6 months, my attitude goes to shit, and my body atrophies, and because of that my confidence goes to shit. which makes me self concious, amd makes me feel bad things about my relationship with my gf. the second i go back to work, all is well, i feel good because im working and that translates into my personal life. as i said you have to work on it.
>>17245709
>>17245734
This is really good advice, just start with working out. Getting fit is the first step of getting you life in order, and it also attracts girls which in turn give you motivation and drive.
>>17245764
thanks, was my best attempt at explaining how to get drive.
>>17245746
Honestly, I probably am emotionally stunted.
Parents divorced when I was somewhere in the range of 8-10. Mom just left. Remarried an angry drunk who would set up things to start fights over.
Been depressed, to the point that they tried a dozen some odd medications, since then. None of them ever worked, outside of making me feel physically numb to go along with the emotional numbness.
This did make me examine that a bit more, and I feel like I haven't been able to believe my Mother when she says she loves me since back then. So, on that front, I don't think I've ever felt validated as a person.
Dad was always out randomly on call, and forgetful. He'd forget punishments, and more often rewards, to the point that I began to feel like even if I tried, the result would be the same.
>>17245756
>>17245764
Well, there's a gym about a minute from my house that is supposedly only 10$ a month.
Was up to 20~ laterals and curls and 10~ ... there was a term, but basically lifting them from shoulder to full upward extension... but that in a set before my arms gave out with a pair of 15lb dumbbells.
And could almost get around the block at a brick pace without getting tired.
>>17245789
you have to put that behind you man, thats in the past, your parents are yours and they always will be, but its their life and theyre going to live it how they want. you have to live yours how you want. you are your master, no one else. you decide how to live your life. you have to work for what you want anon. thats how the human body was built. and more importantly thats how the human mind is built.
>>17245805
alright anon, im at a bar, and just got a battery critically low warning. ill check back in a few hours to see if you still want to talk. if not. good luck, and god speed.
-Jay
>>17245789
>Been depressed, to the point that they tried a dozen some odd medications, since then. None of them ever worked
Same here, man. Treatment-resistant depression, 10 years now.
People say shit like "it gets better" as if it's a fucking guarantee.
Only thing we can really do is keep going, and hope people come up with better drugs.
>>17245914
Think my big problem there is I was always smart enough to see the problems, but never wise enough to find solutions.
The drugs only help with a raw, chemical imbalance. Which can help the change the thoughts, but not enough to change a world view.
Honestly, even with this last week.... I'm starting to feel like this whole thing has left me in a better place.
At least I know that girls like that can still occur in this wretched world.
And, actually venting the various stages of this at different groups of friends found me far more support and understanding than I'd ever expected.
Hell, even in this black pit of hatred and memes I got well-wishes and support. (Not talking about /adv/ here.)
>>17245974
well, regardless of your opinion of 4chan and the people here, i hope you found my advice helpful anon.
>>17245974
People's dreams never end you know
Let them guide you.
The world is only as good as how we view it.
Wish you all the luck.
