I'm an "adult" (by law). Still live with parents because i'm in my first year of college and they don't let me work (yeah, they tell me "it's not necessary).
Some friends organized a trip to a nice beach of our contry, and it's cheap as fuck because one of my friends mother has a timeshare in a nice hotel. So we just have to pay transport and food.
I've been building PC's and fixing some stuff for money, got all the money I need.
Told my parents I want to go, that I have the money and all that stuff. They told me "no".
>You're not going anywhere without us
>It's too dangerous there (even though the state I live in it's the same or more dangerous than where I want to go, and it's actually true)
>You may be an adult but you can't go where you want or do what you want
Basically my legitimate right of "freedom of movement" inside my country gets fucked up as soon as they're my parents.
I'm not asking them money, anything, i'm paying myself this trip and they even threatened me with kicking me out of the house.
This is really a once in a lifetime chance, i'm getting a 5 day trip+transport+food in a nice beach with hotel included for $80-$90 USD. Not kidding.
Any tips?
>>17241897
Move out from your parents and you will have all that freedom but none of the financial support.
>>17241897
Are you worried they'll kick you out if you do go?
>>17241897
Just go. There's a good chance they're bluffing anyway.
>>17241897
Are you stupid? And that's a real question. I mean it, are you fucking stupid?
You dont have to even ask anything to them. You just jump in the car and go wherever the fuck you want. They have no legal right to hold you back. They can't even "ground" you for that.
How fucking stupid one must be to obey such orders limiting your own freedom!
>>17241907
To be honest, nope. They wouldn't let me though. Last week they got mad with me and complained because they give me a ride to the school in the morning. So I got out to take the bus, they chased me and stopped me, then forced me to go with them in their car to my school.
That's how fucking illogic they are.
>>17241915
No dude, I really told them that I have the legal right and that shit.
They called me "oh yeah smartass, you also have to obey us inside this house, you're not going to do what you want, you're stupid". I don't want to obey that, but it seems that I'm in debt with them, because you know, they raised a person that they decided to have
I'm in debt with them because they're dealing with their obligation of taking care of the shit they do.
I'll tell them that i'll go, I can take my own decisions, it's my freaking money and i'm doing no fucking harm. Really.
>>17241918
Leave a note and sneak out
You are dependent upon them and therefore must abide by their decisions. What is so hard to understand about that? If you think they are so unfair, you can move out, take care of your own expenses, and set your own rules.
>>17241928
I agree with that, but there's a balance and they're putting their opinion and decisions on top of Legal freaking stuff. I understand that I have to stick to certain rules, but i'm not depending on them to take this trip, since I'm paying it with money I freaking earned without their help.
step one: get a job
>>17241928
This is not how it works. It's the parents responsibility to take care of their children, you aren't supposed to owe them for it.
>>17241932
Step one: They don't let me cause "I have to study first and there's no need to do that"
Go on your trip and then move out when you get home. Only losers live with their parents after 18.
I smell feijãoada.
Tell them you're going somewhere else and then go to the beach anyway.
>>17241897
move out you fucking manchild.
>>17241933
It's kinda hard to explain that to them. They constantly complain about them working and taking care of us (not only me, my brothers too). I'm not a fucking criminal, i'm among the best grades in my school, I don't drink, i'm virgin as fuck. They're against me sleeping outside the house even though i'm legally an "adult" now, and I can't go tripping without them.
If I go on vacations, it MUST be with them, and they literally said that. What the hell do I do? It's not even a trip to fuck and get drunk, we're going to the city and swim because 3 adults are going (the owner of the timeshare), so not fucking around.
>>17241945
Will do that, thanks.
>>17241954
I get you man. That's how parents are, they guilt you into accepting their authority.
It's just a parenting technique, don't take it to heart.
Just go on your trip, they will understand, even if they don't like it.
>>17241960
Thanks, I hope they understand.
My dad almost broke my nose once we were arguing. To be honest i'm kinda scared, he gets a litle bit violent when he's angry
>>17241956
Be prepared for them to be angry and try to stop you. It is worth finding a place to live before the trip, setting it all up in secret, and then, when they tell you off about going on the trip, calmly announce that you're an adult, and that you're moving out. Try to understand their protectionist feelings and accept that they'll be angry, but be like a christfag and forgive them. Make sure to invite them to the new place as soon as possible for a cup of tea or some food, so they can see you're doing what makes you happy, and that you can look after yourself.
>>17241972
Okay, if that's the case, do what >>17241973
said and find a place to live before going on the trip, because your dad will surely give you an ass whooping when you get back.
>>17241933
This is the mewling of an entitled bitch. Do you feel this way about employers, too? You shouldn't have to work, but you are still entitled to pay? Legally speaking, they don't owe you anything; they could hand you over to the state and be done with you.
My parents used to be like that. I had money and was gonna take a trip to LA with my friends. They told me no, I said fuck that. I booked my flight and hotel and I left. Had a great time and came back. They were angry as fuck and "disappointed" in me, but after that, I feel like they were a little more trustworthy of me because I happened to come back alive without a scratch.
>>17242046
No, I don't think you're entitled to anything, you should work for everything. BUT, your parents brought you into this world, it was THEIR decision not yours, so your well-being is their responsibility.
Legally speaking, they can do anything, but if they hand you over to the state, that is them admitting their failure as parents.
>>17242046
Well, they should do that then instead complain every day about their job and situation, after all, they decided to have 3 children, and they HAVE TO be responsible about their decisions. I didn't told them to have more kids, I didn't told my dad to stop studying and skip college just because he liked his job and had a tough family. Don't have enough preparation to get a stable job that allows you to have a family? Don't have children.
I may sound edgy or that shit, but to be honest i'm tired of hearing that shit everyday "oh yeah but I have to feed you, to give you shelter, I have to help you". But they doen't stop doing that, and when I try to do it on my own, they get angry with me. It doesn't make sense, they complain but they don't let me work on my own, and they want to keep me with them. I can't even go to take the bus on the morning because i'm "Challenging and disrespecting their authority".
>>17242062
Think i'll do that. There's a high chance of me being kicked out when I come back because I "disrespected and challenged their authority".
I?m an "adult" (by law)? Still live with parents because i?m in my first year of college and they don?t let me work (yeah? they tell me "it?s not necessary)?
Some friends organized a trip to a nice beach of our contry? and it?s cheap as fuck because one of my friends mother has a timeshare in a nice hotel? So we just have to pay transport and food?
I?ve been building PC?s and fixing some stuff for money? got all the money I need?
Told my parents I want to go? that I have the money and all that stuff? They told me "no"?
>You?re not going anywhere without us
>It?s too dangerous there (even though the state I live in it?s the same or more dangerous than where I want to go? and it?s actually true)
>You may be an adult but you can?t go where you want or do what you want
Basically my legitimate right of "freedom of movement" inside my country gets fucked up as soon as they?re my parents?
I?m not asking them money? anything? i?m paying myself this trip and they even threatened me with kicking me out of the house?
This is really a once in a lifetime chance? i?m getting a 5 day trip+transport+food in a nice beach with hotel included for $80-$90 USD? Not kidding?
Any tips?
>>17242117
? lol
>>17242046
It's called family. Why does your moral obligation end at 18? Why not 16, or 14? Why not 19? What magically turns a proud member of an integrated family unit into a freeloader on his 18th birthday?
>>17242117
Shitty bot.
>>17242201
Law? Just saying...
>>17242205
I don't know, I just posted this once and this appeared. Am I getting hacked? Are they going to steal my memes?
You are getting free tuition and food and shelter from them in exchange for your obedience. You're free to end this arrangement at any time, but don't act like you're oppressed.
>>17242229
They don't let me work, because "i have to study first and they can help me with that". I go to a free college. I want to end this arrangement, but it's hard when they don't let you to end it.
>>17242254
Apply for jobs, get a job, get an apartment. Nothing is stopping you from moving out other than you being a little bitch. You don't actually want to work and take care of yourself, you're just complaining about mom and dad.
I'm 21 living in the center of a huge city and have been paying for my own shit for years. Stop complaining and do it.
>>17242223
>moral
>law
These are separate concepts. The law says that the state can't force your parents to take care of you past age 18, it doesn't mean that keeping your family together past that point is inappropriate.
>>17241918
Whoa, you got some over-protective parents.
I dont think you can do much unless you get your own place.
>>17241945
Did YOU move out on your own at that age?
>>17242265
Thanks, I think McDonalds accepts dudes with 18 years. I'll start there since I go to college in the afternoon. Already got an idea for an apartment, just need more money and a stable job. I'll look for a "student room" first, they're kinda cheap, I just need a bed and they offer stuff like internet. Hope you're doing well.
>>17242267
One thing is keeping the family connection, and other thing is being over-protective. My dad thinks that his duty is just bring food to the table, and leave all the teaching to mom. He's old fashioned and "don't ever challenge my authority" kind of person.
I just turned 18, wanted to use my now valid freedom of movement to go to a trip with my money. But now I see how things are going to be, so i'm going to get a job ASAP, earn some money, get a cheap student room and study in the afternoons. It's not impossible.
When I was 15-16 my dad used to threat me about kicking me out of school (stop paying for it) even though they decided to get me in a private school. Now that he doesn't have to take care of me I know that he will bring up something as soon as we start to argue.
I don't like that "ambient", maybe i'm a pussy, but now I can do shit to adjust my life as I want it to be.
Sounds like my parents who were hardcore baptists. (Think Westboro level assholes) I was adopted and they purposely didn't fill out the forms to correct my social security card because my mom wanted me to keep the tradition of "the daughter stays home and takes care of her parents and children and is paid for by my future arranged husband." A tradition that's been passed from mother to daughter for well over a century. And not having a valid social security card would ensure that I'd always "owe" them and will never have freedom. They hid it from me until after I was 18. It took years of secretly gathering any info I had in my name such as insurance/medical papers, homeschool records, proofs of addresses, breaking into my dad's safe to get my birth certificate and adoption forms, ect. But I barely made it before the age deadline of 26 when everything was finally settled and I was able to sneak out one night and never went back and cut all contact with them.
>>17241897
Just do it fag
>>17241924
Keep telling yourself that. I know someone who is too weak to do something when I read it
>>17242310
And you're right, I'll save the hassle, instead I will start working, I just need a stable job to pay the rent for a student's room, work in the morning, study in the afternoons. Maybe i'm bitching too much, so I will start acting to change the things I don't like.
>>17241897
> You have possessive parents...
> Safety issues safety where you live and where you are going...
> Short road trip as a "lifetime chance"...
You sound latino and underage, more specifically, you sound beaner and underage.
Based on that here´s my honest advice:
Leave them a note and go, just go.
I know a thing or two about latin american parenting and trust me, they will take you back, may give you a beating and cal it a day.
There are boundries. You are not their property so they cant do whatever they like withh you but at the same time you being dependent on then means that you have to abide by their rules. Once you become completely independent off them can you do whatever the fuck you want. If you dont like it, move/work/payforyourshit.
>>17242289
Just lie about where you're going, Thiago.
Fucking do it anyway. When I lived with my parents and was an adult (20) my parents flipped shit when I asked them if I could go to the beach with my boyfriend and his parents. After years of trying to go to the beach with at least a friend to no avail, I just listened to my mom scream for ten minutes then calmly said that I was leaving tomorrow. I fucking went and she's never had s problem with me going on trips ever again. They just need to be pushed. Also leave them a number to call and where you are stating so they don't feel like your just missing in action to them
