Try to volunteer in a place with kids. I have hear of free arts for abused children, but that might not be in your areaz

>>17236480
i might try this, to see if I can really make up my mind. i've babysat kids before and i never had a total demon spawn. The kids were actually quite nice. But if I think about all the work that goes into it (diaper change, potty train, drive to school, parent meetings)...

Also, I deal very badly with stress and i can't imagine having something fucking growing in my stomach for 9 months, especially with no way out of it. I don't really like abortion

bumparooni

You sound very impatient and selfish, so you probably shouldn't be thinking about having kids until you sort those things out. If you have something genetic then go to genetic counseling before trying to get pregnant and they will crunch the numbers for you, whatever you have might have an extremely low chance of being passed on, you never know. If it doesn't work out you can always adopt.

>>17236494
Caring for a kid is actually pretty easy once you get used to it. You sorta fall into a routine and it just goes from there. As for teaching them to do stuff, that's one of the best parts of parenting, so if you think that's annoying then don't become a parent.

Being pregnant isn't really that bad. I had a lot of morning sickness in the beginning and soreness at the end, but still it was not very stressful or anything.. it was even cool at times when the baby moved.

>>17236494
sounds like me

>>17236632
this

he might not be the guy for you. if you don't want one now, especially with the particular attitude you have, you're unlikely to want one later.

>>17236632
>>17236648
>>17236632

>>17236632
I guess I am both of these things. I never really thought about it. There are maybe 2 or 3 people I would move heaven and earth for, for nothing in return, so maybe I just don't have any care left for anyone else. i am impatient. i still feel people aren't worth my time, but it's something I have to work on.

By genetic I mean mental psychosis sort of genetic. Which sadly I have some. I'm not sure knowing that my future kid won't have it would help, because I have it and I don't think it's a good idea to put a kid through that. I feel like if I married a single dad it could work out. Or adoption, yeah that is an idea. I don't think I could be a mother, but I could definitely be an auntie. Or a guardian.

Fuck. If I didn't have a history of psychosis I would definitely want kids 70%. I think I convinced myself i hate kids so it wouldn't hurt that I couldn't have them for my own safety and theirs.

How serious do you consider the relationship? How serious are you about not having kids? Would you be willing to adopt or date someone with a kid? Raise a child with someone and use a surrogate mother?

Might be hard to think about now, but those are possibilities too. Also should find out how far in the future he sees having his future kid.

>>17236683
It just sounds like you don't want kids and that's okay. 22 is not too early to have kids, but it depends on the person. For example, my mom had me at 21 and she was already very mature and had been living on her own for several years. But you sound kind of immature still, and that's ok. 22 might be early for you, and that's what matters in this instance, not what's considered early for other people.

You're not ready. You may never be ready. On the other hand you might grow up a little bit and change your mind. You might turn 25 and something clicks in your head and you might think, yeah I'd like some kids. You can't predict what will happen to your personality in the future.

My advice: just take every day as it comes and not worry about kids. My advice if you want to be around kids but don't want any for yourself is to become a kindergarten teacher.

>>17236688

I think the relationship could definitely go somewhere. It's very easy being with him. I could probably grow old with him. He's respectful of me.

I think I am pretty serious about ME not having kids. None of anything with my genetics. But I would be willing to date someone who had a kid. I have been thinking adoption doesn't sound too bad. But I know a lot of people want their own kids. I feel sad and angry at the state of adoption, cps, foster care these days, but i'm only one person.

I'll ask him sort of if he really likes kids and all. If he's super adamant on having his very own, no adoption, it might be easier to let this go now

>>17236699
you do know that there's no concrete proof that mental illness is hereditary, right

mostly they 'run in families' because of environmental factors. if you get help and treat whatever your problem is, there's a very good chance your kid will be perfectly healthy because you're raising them with a good mental state

i think it's so sad that people with mental illness constantly punish themselves like this. OP, you are a person with worth that deserves all the things mentally healthy people have.

>>17237125
Oh man I didn't realize my thread was still up

I'm getting treatment. I'm living very healthily and drug free. I think this is the best i will be, logistically. it's not bad. Even if my kid is perfectly healthy, the thing is, i am not. Seriously, there is just links missing in my brain. I can't see how to get around this. Down the line it's going to happen again and I'm not going to say too much but the psychosis was enough last time that I would have hurt my own family because I didn't recognize them.

>>17237137
I'm sorry, i can't pretend to know what it is like, however you don't know what you will be like even a year down the line. just keep trying, live the best that you can. don't have worries about things like kids. having a positive attitude and not a defeatist one can go a long way.

I'm just saying nothing is set in stone so just enjoy life and see where it takes you

as for this guy, you should have a conversation with him about when he expects to have these future kids