Can't Be Happy
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
What's wrong with me? I am smart, decently attractive, have a good career that pays well, a wife and kids, am buying a house, and am highly respected by colleagues. I was even recognized this year for being the top manager at my company of around 300 managers in my position. All of this and I can't be happy.
I have tried to find hobbies, read books on achieving happiness, associate with other people (which I hate), and try to change my routine. Nothing works. All I think every day is what's the point? First, I am not entirely sure that reality is what we think it is. I tend to believe some of the newer theories coming out stating that this is all a simulation. Whether true or not life just seems like an exercise in futility.
If it were just me I'd probably just deal with it silently and eventually kill myself/drink myself to death. I don't want to be selfish though and want my kids to have a father so that's out. The problem is that me remaining alive/in their lives I think may also harmful to them. I don't hit them or verbally abuse them, I am good and faithful to them and their mother, and have given them a very good life, but I lack the patience and energy to be as good of a father as I'd like to be. I just want to lay down, go to sleep, and disappear from existence.
This may be depression, but I don't want to go see anyone, get on meds, and potentially get stigmatized by work, society, government, etc. At this point, I don't know if any other options for me exist on the self-help side. Then again I may just be an ungrateful, miserable douchebag. Anyone have any advice on how they've gotten through this in the past? All in all, help.
It's okay, just doing the same old thing every single day, and eventually you'll be able to enjoy it again, I promise.
How could you not be bored? Yeah, great, you're life is fine, but you've got no stimulation. Everything in your life has just become some task, and trying to push yourself into a hobby is just another one.
What you need is change, man.
Most things you listed are social success; personal success can be very different.
>>17236039
Change what and change how? I have people who rely on me? If I could just pick up and move to another country or something I would. I am going to go see a race this weekend which I've never done so it's not like I am not trying to shake things up.
>>17236049
Yeah, you're probably right. I have no standard for personal success though as I don't believe much of life/our achievements matter much.
>>17236058
Me neither; i'm also a very sad person so i can't give you an answer to your problem.
You said you don't care about those things but they were the first thing you listed, as in you should be happy because of them; honestly, there is no correlation.
Maybe you feel some pressure to be happy because you believe you should be considering your achievements. If this is true then you should learn to not care about it; it won't make you happy but more relieved.
>>17236023
Look, I don't want to be the "depression" guy, but damn, you are the text book definition of clinical depression. Look it up. Oh, wait, you did that a long time ago. You know you are depressed and you are running away from getting the help you need because you thing depression is somehow linked to personal failure. Your life doesn't sound like shit, so perhaps the problem is chemical. Which means you never had a chance. You get chemical help or you keep going until it becomes nightmare you are thinking of. Again, I'm not depression guy, but there is a real chance your problem is not something you can solve by yourself. There is no "Just do this shit" way out of it. Slowly, carefully, quietly find a real doctor who might be able to help you. For years I thought meds were for losers. I was wrong. I have a decent live but I will be on med forever. It took a while for me to not blame myself for that. Get help, your problem might have nothing to do with you.
>>17236148
Let's say I agreed to go get help discreetly. Where do I start?
>>17236188
You sound like you have a good job, and I assume that means some kind of insurance. Go get a physical. Standard, run of the mill, physical. While you are there, talk to the doctor about how you feel. It will suck, trust me. Hopefully, this is a family physician you have been seening for some time, but maybe not. Either way. Tell this person in no uncertain terms about how you feel. If you cant do that, print out what you wrote a the top of this post. That will be enough for him/her to get you an appointment with a therapist. Yes, It will now be in your medical record. But don't freak out. No one, and I mean no one, can see what that therapist writes without your consent. The key to all of this is getting to the mental health professional who can correctly diagnose you. Using your existing medical plan and being BRUTALLY HONEST with your doctor is the best way to move forward. Let's face it, if you can't be honest with the guy whose going to stick a finger up your ass, who can be with?
