So I just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me. It took me this long to actually have the courage to go through her phone. I'm 25 and this was my first kiss/first gf. Been dating for one year. She's currently sleeping in my bed behind me and I'm over here on tearing up.
I'm extremely heart broken and terrified of going back to loneliness. This past year has been the best year of my life. I don't think I'll be able to find someone like her again, if I will ever find someone again, but she's a fucking cheater so I gotta leave her.
What can I do so I don't feel like killing myself?
Kill John Lennon
Did you honestly think you would find someone like her pre-cheating the first time around?
You can stop feeling sorry for yourself and find someone better.
>>17232666
what did you find on her phone?
>>17232666
Better alone than with a cheater. Cheaters lack empathy. You wanna stick with someone who doesn't give even one fuck about you?
>>17232717
A conversation with a number not in her contacts. Looked the number on facebook, it's one of her old male friends.
>>17232722
After finding out no, I don't want to stick with her. Hell no. But this past year I was on cloud9, I hated my life of loneliness and hate going back to it.
>>17232666
>best year of my life
>terrified of loneliness
OP, the recurring theme I detect here is that you are a very damaged person. Why? Who knows. But if you hated life before your girlfriend, and are so naturally lonely without a girlfriend, this points to a fundamental problem inside you. Why does this matter? It likely bled through into your relationship. It likely contributed to why she cheated on you. There is no excuse for cheating. But there are reasons. And I suspect her reasons have to do with the way you handled your relationship.
It's time for you to get going with moving on. But it's also a time for reflection to figure out why she ran around on you. Try to find it, so you can make sure it never happens again. A lot of people are shitty, and are just waiting for a good reason to fuck around. Don't let yourself give another person a reason to take advantage of you.
You need to find happiness in solitude. You have to find peace in life. It seems you severely lack it. Pinpoint what went wrong, fix it, fix your self esteem, work on your inability to be alone, and your next relationship will thrive.
>>17232744
What did the conversation entail?
>>17232758
Thanks for the solid advice anon. Will keep this saved.
>>17232761
"Can't wait to see you" with lots of heart and kissing emojis. Something about my girlfriend's soft lips. How she couldn't wait to spend the day with him alone on saturday (which she told me she was gonna spend at her parents). Lots of flirty, lovy conversation. An "I love you" was dropped at the end of the convo by my gf. Shattered me the most.
>>17232666
>>17232744
Similar thing happened to me years ago.
First real girlfriend and we had been together almost 3 years.
She was watching a movie with a friend at my house when I found out (she was also living with me rent free).
I calmly walked in and said "pack your shit and get the fuck out".
Which is what I think you should do OP.
Don't dwell on it. Accept it for what it is.
Go out and have some fun to keep your mind off her.
Jump straight back into dating and meeting girls.
>>17232790
i think you're full of shit OP. nobody who is cheating would be this careless and stupid unless they wanted to get caught
>>17232801
Not true. I've cheated on girls before and kept those type of conversations in my phone. Well, not "love you" shit, but very clearly that I was cheating messages. None of the girls I was involved with were the type to suspect me of anything, and never went through my phone. So I never had a reason to be cautious about it.
5 "affairs" out of 8 relationships and never caught. Not as many people are snoopy and suspicious as you might think.
>>17232801
We never, ever went on each other's phones. Ever. I don't know if that's something we did wrong. She never cared to see mine and I never cared to see hers cause I trusted her.
>>17232801
Not everyone is as sneaky about their cheating as you are. Most people are pretty fucking lazy and stupid about what they do.
I once had a girlfriend that cheated on her "main" boyfriend for me.
Dude she was pissed when she found out that I had a "main" girlfriend too...
But atleast thats how I knew she was in real love with me!
>>17232823
well i'm not a cheater. i know people can be really stupid but if you care about keeping a relationship at all wouldn't you want to keep your cheating on the DL? if you don't care about getting caught then why be a relationship
OP,
Never let anyone treat you like you are ordinary.
>>17232856
>if you don't care about getting caught then why be a relationship
why not have your cake and eat it too? One is security, a "just in case." The other is for fun and possibly something more, in the event you decide you're tired of your relationship. If you remove all morals and ethics, it makes complete sense.
>>17232666
>1 year
That's nothing. Get over it pussy. Though I do know how you feel...It will get better with time.
Short term: Dump her. Get drunk. Fuck Bi*ches!
Long term: Make paper. Fuck Bi*ches!
>>17232867
Texting a friend right now and he said the same thing. But considering this is the first girl I've ever fallen in love with, it's kinda different.
>>17232666
Checked
Real talk though, got any hobbies? busy yourself, go out and make new friends, try not to date again so quickly but also don't turn into a recluse that never bothers with a relationship again. This thing happens all the time and you won't be the last one to be cheated on in the world, realize that there are literally billions of people on the planet and your unfaithful gf is merely one of them. 25 is still relatively young, you have plenty of time but also >>17232758
said is true. Recommend taking that advice before even bothering with another relationship. Also one year isn't that long, but I guess it's normal to react like you since it's your first? I don't know, my first relationship didn't end like this so I'm not very experienced in that sort of thing.
Regardless, break up with her, move on and try to heal yourself. Being depressed about it won't solve anything, don't dwell on the fact that it happened, dwell on why it happened and what you can do to fix it. You can't fix the fact it happened, you CAN try to fix yourself though.
OP. We're very similar. I was like you at that age, had my first kiss and first fuck from my first gf. She was super special to me. I had no one else. I had no friends and nothing. She cheated. I always made sure not to get too closes emotionalky and was always distant but it hurt.
Depending on how strong emotionally you are it will affect you. You will feel like shit and wanna kill yourself. I know. I've been there. The first relationship is very formative for how you will be in your future relationships. You're gonna have trust issues and be scared to get close to girls. You might turn into a serial cheated as a defense mechanism.(I would know) Try to be around friends or date. Don't do this break shit people tell you to do. You'll find there are women out there than can make you feel the same way. NEVER EVER tell girls you got cheated on. Just say you ended the relationship. No one likes baggage. Don't be mopey or overly emotional.
The one thing I can say I did right is leave immediatly and never ever talk to her again no matter what she texted me. Don't listen to her promises or pleases or anything. Don't be a cuck. Have some self respect for yourself. You're better than that. If you don't neither will she. Never go back. leave right now and stop talking to her. It's over. You can't go back. It's done. Accept it. Don't be emotional or cry in front of her. Save the tears for when you're alone.
And most importantly...try not to become her in the future...like me.
Avoid toxic women and relationships as everyone will seem enticing in your weak state after you broke up. I met and fucked the worst women after.
I still think about the pain once a week even though I'm in a relationship. She was my first. I hate her for what she did to me. I will never forgive her.
If you have questions, feel free to ask.
She is your first gf. Now, lets imagine you go through this together, get married and shit and after 20 years you start craving other women. Now you have the chance for a fresh start, and to respect yourself, she is sleeping calmly while you are broken. Do you deserve this ? No. Will you forgive her ? it's up to you, but it's best that you don't. You don't have to be a dick about it, but kick her out and break up for good.
The first heartbreak is always the worst, but it gets easier. I would also say, before doing anything, sit down with her and ask her directly. There could be mitigating circumstances, I mean not that cheating is ever ok, but there could be something you are willing to accept or forgive you know? If you are already thinking about dumping her, what have you got to lose? Hope all works out OP. xx
OP,
As much as I hate to say it, that's life. It's easier to say that but people are actually that cruel out there. Best to take this as experience and realize that your fear of loneliness is reminiscent of the life you lived before you found this bitch. If you were lucky to find one bitch to go out with you, you're lucky enough to find another one so just move on and don't let her stop you from pursuing happiness because we're sure as hell not entitled to it.
It may be hard to move forward and the future may be uncertain but isn't that what life already entails?
Godspeed, OP. Also, don't tolerate that shit if someone cheats on you. Unless she can be used to your advantage for monetary purposes, you're better off leaving her.
You don't deserve this OP, dump that bitch.
Im in the same boat op.Same exact thing happened to me
>>17232666
>I don't think I'll be able to find someone like her again
You mean an awful cheater? Come on anon, you can do better. The wound will close eventually, you will move on and find someone that this chick doesn't even hold a candle to. Go drink, do some blow, fuck some hookers. Tide this over.
>>17232666
>I don't think I'll be able to find someone like her again
This feeling goes aways after the 3rd or 4th awesome girlfriend.
Dump her and work on your life OP, the sooner the better
>>17232666
Post picture of her and then hate duck her and dump. Does depend on the girl and situation of how it happened or is happening
>>17232666
post here tits
Im 25 as well.I moved in with the bitch we loved each other then because of small things we each did her feelings passed and she wanted to break up i the last 2 months when she started talking to other guy friends again.Now she broke up a few days ago and she is already with another guy and her family accepted him they even post pics on fb.I still live in the same house with the bitch but she moved with her family.I am alone and depressed and working a lot and dont know how to get over her
Cut and run for your own sake
>>17234355
Tough luck bruh, It'll get better don't worry, just stay the course!
Accept that your both sexual creatures and learn to differentiate between sex and love . Monagomy comes from the Middle East and religion , not the true nature of our species .
I think you should get another gf and then brake it off like a safety net
>>17235544
there's no time.
Listen dude. just try to think what brought her to do this...you? her? sex? money? dick? possibly a woman? there needs to be more back story.
if you're in your mid 20's I feel for you man all girls that age right now are fucking floaty as shit. its just somthing you got to ride out. either
A: Whore it on out until someone sticks
B: try to find one who actually has her mind together and can think of the future.
the future of drinking coffee alone at 45 shit can happen but bimbo's dont know that they have but sometimes so do men..
>>17234355
VACATION
A
C
A
T
I
O
N
OP here. Told her to grab her shit and get out of my apartment this morning. I still feel like shit, but I somehow feel better after seeing the look on her face when she realized that she had just been caught. I was expecting to feel shittier. I just hope it doesn't start killing me over time.
Thanks for the words everyone!
>>17235611
Great job OP, we're fucking proud of you!
It will hurt, the first break up is always the worst! But remember the pain will fade after time, and when you recover you will be more experienced, stronger and more attractive to other women. This bitch will not the be last to suck your dick, OP. Believe in me, who believes in you :^)
>>17232666
You'll find someone better, if she cheated on you that is proof of it. Don't look at this as a loss, look at it as the signal to stop wasting your time with her. This just means its the beginning of a new era and a new girlfriend (eventually).
Do not rush into something else either. Give yourself time to process everything before you try to give another girl/guy a chance.
To not feel like killing yourself? I don't know if its healthy but what I did to get over my ex is I made it my goal to exceed her. I worked out, I got better grades than her, I forced myself to become more sociable, etc. Focus on yourself, for your own reasons, not necessarily my reason I stated in the last sentence.
>>17235633
sorry I forgot to take off my handle from a thread I was fucking with on another board.
I'm gonna try and relate that to you; focus on your positive qualities too when you're single. If you're good looking, take advantage of it; if you're well-endowed, take advantage of it; if you're good at something, excel in it.
Make yourself happy, don't depend on anyone else to make you happy.
You want to kill yourself because of her? Because of a shitty person? Come on.
>>17235633
hmmm anon. this kinda triggered me slightly...
what if your ex girlfriend is actively making this a point to do this and makes sure you're aware of it.
meanwhile im doing blow with dumb bimbos and bartenders because I cant trust any woman ...like her.
>>17235647
what do you mean friend? Doing what actively?
>>17235659
I think he means his ex is exceeding him, working out, studying or whatever, while he is doing blow with bimbos feeling miserable about being a failure compared to her.
Don't feel miserable, when you're young doing blow and fucking bimbos is a great way of recovering. Don't overdo it though...
>>17235647
>>17235701
ohhhh I see now. Well that was my unhealthy solution to my ex.
Comparing yourself to someone else is never the right solution. I just happened to despise my ex to the point where I wanted to exceed her.
Time has passed and I now work on improving myself for my own benefit rather than doing it out of hatred.
Forget that bitch/douche take them out of your life. do what you want to do rather than revolve it around them.
>>17235611
Good work OP, it may be difficult but you did the right thing. Don't let people take advantage of you like that, that bitch got what was coming.
>>17232666
factory reset her phone
>>17232666
Drink away the pain like every body else, that's life OP. Just be glad a shit person like that is out of your life. Anyone who will betray your trust to that degree is toxic.
This is every weak modern day man's story. Not your fault. Man up. Stop giving girls so much attention and power. It's simple, the more you put them on a pedestal the more they have power to do shit like this. If they know you're ready to leave to find a hotter bitch if they fuck you over, they won't fuck you over.
I'm sorry nigger. This happened to me. The first one always seems all "no one will ever be better" but shit nigga that couldn't be further from the truth. I promise.
>>17232666
Dump her, once a cheater always a cheater.
Or do you like to taste Chad's cum when you kiss her?
You will find another girl, just come back to /adv then.
You did the right thing OP
