>>17232025
Cant help you with that so have a bump and good luck man,dont get depressed.

You have a teenage daughter. This is how teenage daughters act. You're Cape Canaveral in 2030, she's a shuttle you're sending to Mars, and you're praying to God that she's going to make it there with all your preparation for her flight plans. But what's horrifying is that now she's launched, you can't do a thing to fix her problems, you can't get any communication, she's long and gone into that dark void, and your heart falls into your stomach because you're afraid all that work and dedication is going to be long and gone.

You've got to be at the control boards, waiting, praying, hoping that one day that shuttle of yours is going to send signals back that it's awake and aware and appreciative of everything you've done. But it's going to take years, anon. Maybe just a few, maybe several, but time will pass, and then one day, she's going to come back home to you.

This is your child growing up. If you did everything right, and you know you did everything right, just be calm and patient, and wait for her to come back home to you.

This is an unfortunate side effect of being a parent that afflicts some parents more so than others.

I don't know about you but when I was a teenager I was a little shithead. I'm 30 now and in retrospect I can without a doubt tell you I was a shithead despite my parents being incredibly patient, caring, and understanding and loving. I was terrible to my parents from about 15 to 19. A big part of it was the drugs, but that's another story. Anyway, point is it's a phase for some kids.

You can be there for your kids all throughout their upbringing but when they get to a certain age, the teenage years, they can lash out. A part of it sometimes is their social circle or really just their social life in general. As easy as life is, when you're a teenager you blow everything out of proportion.

You just gotta be patient and ride it out. She'll grow up in time. Just always be there for her in the mean time.

>>17232025
The love will come back, anon. Wait until she's 20+ and she'll love you again.

>>17232050
I really hope this is the case but it feels that each time I see her, our distance grows apart even further. Lately I've been on frequent business trips due to work and every time I come back, it feels like she hates me even more.

>>17232063
I know she is a good kid, and we do live in a good neighborhood where drugs and thugs aren't an issue so I really don't understand what triggered this situation. Hopefully this is the case.

>>17232066
I think in my head I understand this but I really can't take it. She's everything I have and to see her look at me like this just denies my whole life and purpose.

Just recently, I heard from my wife that she referred to me as "that man" which really upset me. I was both angry and upset, but mostly upset. I'm getting increasingly nervous because of this phrase. Are we both going the right path? Even after this, will she get better? I'm really scared; this incident was what mainly made me post this here on /adv/.

>>17232025

Just try to ride it out. Be there for her when she needs you and try to be thoughtful. She'll react indifferently, but once she's older, she'll appreciate everything. If you're the parent that typically does the punishing, ease up or leave it to the mother.

I ended up going through my weird teenage phase at about 8-12 as I had to grow up quickly. Took out a lot of things on my mother, which I shouldn't have, and feel guilty about it to this day. She was the only parent that cared about me and sacrificed happiness to right the wrongs of my childhood. But at some point, something in me clicked. I didn't want to have a bad relationship with her. I loved her. And she did so much for me that I wanted her to feel loved in return. We've had an amazing mother-daughter relationship for the last 15 or so years now.

>>17232099
>Lately I've been on frequent business trips due to work and every time I come back, it feels like she hates me even more.
How often are you away? Do you ever try to spend one on one time with her? She may be angry with you over feeling neglected.

>>17232101
The main problem is that I don't think she needs or even feels the need for me, whether it is love, comfort, or even money. I only reprimand her for her major blunders and misbehaviors, her mother does the frequent punishing.

>>17232107
Just around these past few months starting January, I've been out here and there across Florida, California, New York, Illinois, Maryland, and Washington. I would say each trip averages about a week and a half and I would have to leave less than a week at home. I approach her every time I get back, but she refuses me and even goes as far to lock her doors when it is just us two. I don't feel I have ever neglected her if I had the opportunity to do so. My wife thinks the same so it is likely it's not due to neglect.

>>17232127
>The main problem is that I don't think she needs or even feels the need for me, whether it is love, comfort, or even money. I only reprimand her for her major blunders and misbehaviors, her mother does the frequent punishing.
So you really don't have much positive contact with her, it seems. I think you should try to spend more time with her one on one. Because if you just pop up every once in a while to reprimand her, she's going to grow a bit distant. You should try surprising her with positive things, even something small, instead of waiting for her to come and ask you for stuff. Be pro-active.

>>17232127
>Just around these past few months starting January, I've been out here and there across Florida, California, New York, Illinois, Maryland, and Washington. I would say each trip averages about a week and a half and I would have to leave less than a week at home. I approach her every time I get back, but she refuses me and even goes as far to lock her doors when it is just us two. I don't feel I have ever neglected her if I had the opportunity to do so. My wife thinks the same so it is likely it's not due to neglect.
That's still a lot of time away, and I think it does have a little to do with not being around or not initiating one-one-one or family time.

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She thinks ur perpetuating the patriarchy I bet!

Find out if she's into tumblr, facebook or left leaning.

do you ever sit down with your daughter and have actual talks? my dad used to do all the typical things expected of a father, he'd take me places and showed his love by providing physical items but he never once showed that he cared about my opinions or my hobbies, never sat down and just talked to me, which is what i always wanted from him. i wanted him to show interest in my life and actively try to be a part of it instead of just buying me things as a replacement.

it was always my mother who asked what i was doing, who kept up with my social life and friends, who asked me to do things that i actually enjoyed.

if you're not paying attention to the things she likes or her as a person as she's starting to develop her own personality and sense of self, you need to let go of the thought of being a 'money provider' and spend more time being an emotionally available parent.

things will get better in a few years when she sorts out who she is and comes to terms with these things, but you can still salvage your relationship with her by doing what you can to start talking to her one on one, as a young adult and an actual person with actual emotional needs. actually listen to her, ask her what she's feeling and not only tell her but show her how much you care about her.

>>17232156
>>17232187
Thanks. I'll definitely try having an intimate talk with her.

Just an additional question but should I push for the talk even if she completely rejects the idea?

Just popped in to say that I wish my dad was like you opie. I wish he cared that much. I feel like he didn't. Me and my parents aren't all that close anymore.

>>17232311
if she rejects the idea at first, it's normal, especially if the new behavior is coming out of nowhere (or to her she feels like it's out of nowhere). i'd suggest starting out slow, paying more attention to what she's doing and saying, and showing her that you're listening by initiating conversations regarding those things. even if you are met with the same silence, be persistent in showing that you care, the worst thing you can do is give up. start doing small things for her to show her you're paying attention, mention to her that you noticed that she likes ___ and do something nice for her. it doesn't even have to be big, just something to show that you're thinking about her and have taken notice of her hobbies.

after that, you can start initiating actual conversations as you'll know much more about her and have actual things to talk about.

but yeah, definitely don't push for the talk right away, it's always awkward if it's out of nowhere and might make her more resentful and back fire. take things slow, be consistent and prove to her that you want to get to know her and go through those lengths to know her.

good luck, op, you sound like a good dad.

>>17232099
>"that man"
She might have joined a the feminist movement. Check her internet history and see what she is up to. Might be new friends in her circle, one's father hit her friend and she feels anger towards men. Who knows it could be anything. Have her mother ask her whats going on, if you ask her it could make things awkward.

We don't see when we hurt others, try remembering what might have you done to her, or hurt something she admires or even because you disagree on a topic...

My sister was like this to our parents fron 14 to 20. Wasnt until the real world of respinsability and stress hit her in the face she now has a better relationship with them than i do.

You say you did the "job" of taking her paved or buying her "necessary things"...I'm wondering though, we're there any times where you and her just bonded? Ie, watched a movie and talked about it, had a frank discussion about different beliefs, things like that?

If you were emotionally distant to her growing up, she may have now decided it isn't worth the trouble to cuddle with you now.

However, she's also a teenager, and she's combating both reading hormones and a desire to be independent. That could also be the cause.

You were probably too much of a weak cuck and now that she's banging Chad she knows what men are supposed to be like.

Also, I'm really sorry you had to have a daughter, that really sucks dude.

>>17232597
>>17232170
This so much. Maybe ask your wife if your daughter has mentioned any anger or unsolicited hatred towards men in general (i take it your daughter wouldn't talk about this directly). Checking her internet history goes too far imo, if she finds out she'll start to hate you for real.

Bump?

>>17232025

>I've always been nice to my daughter. Why doesn't she respect me?

Because one doesn't get respect for being nice.

Answer me this:
How hard of a time do you have saying, "no" to her? (when you know it will upset her and it is in your power to say, "yes")
Do you often go along with what your wife or daughter say, even if you feel differently deep down?
Are you afraid of being rejected if you don’t go along with your wife and daughter's whims and demands?

If so, you've taught your daughter not to give you any respect by not being assertive enough in your relationship with her and with your wife.

If I'm wrong about assuming your wife doesn't respect you, then your wife should be able to help you talk to your daughter about the way she treats you.

But if I'm right about your relationship with your wife, then that's the relationship you need to work on. When your wife respects you, your daughter will, too.

Male oldfag here.

Around that age (15-16) my daughter decided she would start doing things that imo were dangerous, like hanging with her friends in parks and coming home when she fancied, switching her phone off etc. I finally had a serious talk and let it be known to her that if she continued to actively prevent us caring for her then I would no longer be able to care what happened to her and would have to 'let her go'. This had a somewhat profound effect on us all and calmed the sneaking, lying and hiding a lot. She started to show little thought for what her actions were doing and in a year or so had her own flat, jobs, and was mostly supporting herself. Strange how independence helps them clean up their own sloppy mess.

Anyway a few years later she is in full time mature student education and a joy to be around - although still full of baseless man-hating feminist rhetoric hahha.

She has a pretty good job now and the red-pill drip feet continues.

You go girl .

This is somewhat normal, actually.

Puberty essentially rewires the brain for a few years, so that mixed with hormones and a new found need for some independence makes for a angsty teenager. You still have to set down rules, but also need to understand she is becoming an adult and less of a kid each day. Give her reasons instead of "because I said so". Smarter kids see through that excuse.

You likely went through the same thing with your parents.

OP my girlfriend's aunt is going through the EXACT same thing with her daughter who is also the same age as yours.

It's normal for teenagers to be distant and shitty to their parents. The best you can do is tell her that you'll always be there for her, that you're proud of her and that you love her. As long as she knows those things, she'll always be your little girl, even if she's not showing it. Don't take it personally - it's a teenager thing.

How do you treat her mother? Are an ignorant person?
These are the reasons I don't have an "intensive feeling of love" for my father. He has that behaviour and treats my mother extra badly when I'm around, she said it herself once.

>>17232099
>that man
The first thing that came to my mind when reading this was that maybe (God forbid) you're not her real father. Is that a possibility? That, for me, is the most logical explanation for those words, but I really hope I'm wrong.
Other than that, consider the aforementioned feminist options.

>>17232025
Man, it gets to that point, but she loves you even if she doesnt show it, but as it stands, she doesnt wanna be bothered by her caretakers. How much do you and her have in common really? At any given moment she'd rather hang out with friends or indulge in her hobbies, because let's face it, did you wanna hang out with/spend large amounts of time with your parents at that age? Seriously?

>>17232099
>that man
Ouch. That's hurtful. That doesn't sound quite like regular teenage girl behavior, referring to her own dad as if he were a stranger. It's very bizarre. You and your wife may need to sit her down, together, and have a talk with her, and ask her why she's bothered by you. Who knows? She might actually be feeling neglected by you and might be acting distant to cope. Or she might just hate you, but for your sake I hope that's not the case.

>>17232025
Don't take it personal OP.. This is just how some teenagers are. Find something else to occupy your time. There is no point in getting depressed over this. It's just the way things a re going to be for the next few years. Not a whole lot you can do about it.

Im 18. My mother left my father when I was 6. And as a child we'd meet weekly go to the cinema and do stuff. But when I turned 13 he started to ignore me, say that "he's busy" and can't go out. Every week I tried to cantact him and he wouldnt respond. I wish I had a father like you. Even though shes acting like this, please try to stay as close as possible to her and just be nice to her, because a father-daughter relationship is the most important! You should be her the most important male figure as of now. ) (sorry for terrible english).

>>17232025
>16 years old
>puberty was over
Choose one. She's in fucking puberty dude. Still bait, no one writes about their problems like they're some tales.