I feel like I can't talk to anyone close to me about this, so here we go.
I'm a very reserved girl, I've never been great about expressing my emotions. I definitely HAVE emotions. I love my family, have a few good friends. For some reason, though, it never shows. This isn't to say that I neglect the people close to me. I remember birthdays, give the occasional gift, call them etc. But for some reason, people think I don't care. I am not quick to smile or cry or be angry, and for that reason people think I'm a robot or something. It hurts my feelings a little bit when people say things that are sort of mean just because they think I can take it, because I'm outwardly unemotional and don't speak about my emotions often. Well, I'm not about to get all bent out of shape about it, but it does hurt my feelings sometimes.
5 months ago, I had a baby. naturally, it was one of the happiest days of my life and I love my baby more than anything. But everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay because I'm not happy smiling at the baby all the time, and now I'm worried I won't be a good mom. I don't want my current and future children to think that I don't love them like the rest of my family seems to. I definitely want to be the best mom that I can so I need to fix this somehow.
Can anyone relate? How do I become more open with my emotions? How do I change what seems to be a hardcoded aspect of my personality? I just don't know what to do.
Placid looks are fine, you should just say you're ok, just don't show emotions non-verbally. And end it off with a smile to deflect them.
you seem like a fine mom, BUT please smile a bit for baby. There was a study done with newborns, where the mother showed no emotions. This in turn caused saddness in the baby and in some cases the babies died. Babies and children don't understand complex emotions and learn a lot from socialcues and nonverbal language.
>>17220904
Thanks. I didn't know that about babies. She definitely doesn't seem sad, she smiles when I talk to her, which is super contagious and also causes me to smile/laugh. But I will definitely try to initiate the smiling more often.
Thank you again for the advice.
I will bump one time, then let the thread die.
Tell people what you told us. If you're willing or see it fit. You have emotions but are just reserved with them. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
>>17221116
Would it not come off as a bit autistic if I just said this to people? I mean I guess you're right, I can't think of any other way to communicate this than outright saying what I feel. I've just never encountered other people doing things like this before, people around me communicate their feelings with facial expressions, gestures, etc. I feel so closed in comparison, like I'm secretly an alien or something.
ayy
>>17220882
maybe youre just introverted, some girls are more expressive than others...i realized a few months ago i forget to show people my emotions thru texting or recordings or etc.
It isn't autistic to communicate to someone who is interested in you that you aren't a robot and have human bean emotions. Its not likw you have to tell everyone just the people you want and think should no.
And this is coming from another aliem.
>>17221138
It might come off as somewhat autistic, but these people already think something similar. If you are close enough, you might try sitting them down and talking about how you actually feel about not being able to show emotions readily.
On a more day-to-day basis, try verbalising what you are feeling. If your body language isn't sending the message, use spoken language.
>>17221295
Thanks. It's good to know there are other aliens out there.
>>17221299
That sounds like something I'll have to practice at home with my husband. I guess it just comes down to making do with what I have instead of trying to be something else. That, at least, I can do.
Thank you both for the insight.
You should smoke weed OP
420!!! XDDDDD BLAZEEEEEEE ITTT !!!XDDDDD!!!!!
>>17221138
I just tell people I'm on the shier side and I'm at conversations. If they don't like it then it's their problem. I tend to be chatterbox with people I'm much more closer with. DESU that's fine with me. I wish I was better at initiating conversations and I'm trying to work on that.
Not sure if that helps you OP but aside from recently having a kid I relate to your post.
>>17221582
My problem is more that I have a hard time displaying my emotions for others to read. I'm pretty good at starting and holding conversations, it's just my emoting is very flat so I come off as a bit robotic/unmoved to people and so they think I don't care about them. But you're right, it's the same, I just have to come out and tell people how I am.
Thanks for the support and I wish you luck on improving your social skills too.
